The Crab Chronicles

Views of the Mountain

We had such nasty weather on Tuesday, that when we awoke yesterday there was pinestraw everywhere in our yard. Major raking needs to be done, but yesterday it was still too soggy and misty to do any of it. I probably have 10 lbs of pine straw in my front yard.

Mike went to Stone Mountain with his class, to study rocks. Stone Mountain is a huge piece of granite. He loves going there. He was disappointed they didn't get to climb all the way to the top. There's something very peaceful about being on the top of the mountain, where you can see the countryside for miles around. The shot below was made in April 08.

 

Mother said when she was in college and would be coming home on the weekends, as soon as she could see the mountain from the bus window, she knew she was close to home.

We watched an old movie last night that's one of my favorites, Adam's Rib, with Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Alesia loved it, Mike tolerated it. It's fun to show the kids old movies, especially films that are witty and smart. One of the first shots is them in their room, and there are separate beds. I explained that in those days, married couples couldn't be shown in the same bed, but there had to be separate beds. "What?!" she exclaimed. "That's silly!" Yep. Movies have changed a lot over the years, not always for the better...

 

Martian Child

We started watching a movie last night called The Martian Child, and finished it tonight. It's a wonderful film. It stars John Cusack, who is always fascinating to watch, but he's a more mature Cusack here, a single father with an adoptive son who lives in his own world trying to be a "martian." The father shows remarkable faith and patience with the boy, but this isn't a whitewash of what it's like to adopt an older, traumatized child. It's realistic, but sweet. The ending was a bit contrived, but I still liked it. If you are a parent of any child, adopted or not, I urge you to see this terrific little film. I'm so sorry it got overlooked when it was released a couple of years ago.

We need more movies like this, and fewer movies where people blow things up and run.

Michael's school pictures came home today. He hates them. I think, despite a few pimples, it's not a bad shot. He has kind of a mischevious little twinkle in his eye, which is so Michael, it tickles me.

 

Some months ago I was asked to submit stories written by my kids about adoption. Alesia declined, but I edited a story Michael wrote, with a lot of help from Mother, and he agreed I could send it in. His story is in the book and it's available on Amazon now - Snowflakes: A Flurry of Adoption Stories. The stories and poems are all written by adopted kids, which makes it a unique book, I think. Check it out! 
 

The College or Toilets Speech

My cold is a LOT better. I spent yesterday just resting at home, and my voice is much better. I think I will still have this for a few days, but hopefully it's not turning into anything worse.

I finished the new Diana Gabaldon book yesterday, An Echo In the Bone. I was so disappointed. Nothing was resolved in the end. In fact, the book meandered along for more than 700 pages before things really got going. This is an unfortunate phenomenon I have observed in other popular authors, like Ann Rice and Stephen King. They get where they just write and write and no editor fixes their work to make it more readable. They just blather on and on. Eventually, they turn off a lot of their readers. I am getting to the end of my patience with Gabaldon.

I wanted to hear Gabaldon speak at the Decatur Book Festival, but Lesleigh and I got to the venue about 15 minutes before her speech and the line had 500 people in it, standing in the rain. I said Forget It, no way will they get even half the people in that church. She is an excellent speaker, having been a university professor.

Her first novel, Outlander, is a terrific story about time travel, history, romance, adventure, and suspense. It's very exciting. The next one is also good. If you read her books in order, read the first three, and then stop.

Michael was grumpy when I picked him up from school, telling me about failing 3 tests last Friday. I tried to talk to him, and he didn't want to listen. I emailed his teachers in those subjects and asked them to please check his agenda before he leaves class, to make sure he has the homework assignment right. About 30% of the time he doesn't understand it. I let him see the email and said in there quite plainly, he will not be playing sports in the spring if his grades are not good.

I gave him a speech I've given Alesia many times, the Do You Want to Go to College Or Clean Toilets The Rest of Your Life? speech. I told him I would help him, but the responsibility of getting his assignments right and studying for tests rests with HIM. He is smart and capable and I am not going to baby him any more.

He spent more than an hour on math homework he should've done in class, and hadn't even brought his book home so he could finish it. I finally told him after dinner that's it, we have family time now, and you will have to take it in incomplete or finish it before school starts. He was not happy, but that's the only way he will learn, I see now.

Nobody said the worst part of parenting was going to be the homework... 

I posted a review of the movie Year One on my movie review website. Check it out.. 

100 Years Ago

Do you ever try to imagine what life will be like in 100 years? I do. I'm weird. I got this information below in an email and I thought it would be fun to share. If I were living in 1909, since I'm 47, I would be considered nearing death! Yikes.

 
That's a 1909 beach scene, above. My lands, that gal is showing her LEGS!

THE YEAR 1909

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!  
The year is 1909.  
One hundred years ago.  
What a difference a century makes!  
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :

************ ********* *********

The average life expectancy was  47 years.

fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only 

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles

Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the   Eiffel  Tower!

The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year ..

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,  
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair  once a month, and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza  
2. Tuberculosis  
3. Diarrhea  
4. Heart disease  
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of  Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea  Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and 

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school..

 

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least  one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE !   U.S.A.!  

Plus one more sad thought; 95 percent of the taxes we have now did not exist in 1909

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself. 
From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years 

 

IT STAGGERS THE MIND

Update from the Sick House

Yesterday was a miserable day, with this cold stubbornly hanging in there. I did very little yesterday except rest and read, but it won't go away.

Since there is almost nothing new in my world to report, I thought I'd share an incredibly cool video with you. I am amazed at this couple, and I bet you will be too!

 

 

Sick But Busy

After the recent flooding, I have come to appreciate a pretty weekend when it doesn’t rain. Being sick mars the whole deal. I have been hoping I would just work through this bad cold, but it has gotten worse, despite my vigilant water and vitamin consumption.

 

Alesia had her first SAT prep class yesterday, at her school. She will take the SAT in December, so I wanted her to be prepared. She will probably take it again next year, but it’s good for her to know the kinds of things they ask, and where she has gaps.

 

She was a bit groggy yesterday morning because she hadn’t had much sleep. Friday night she went out with DN, the boyfriend. They went to see the ghost movie, Paranormal Activity. She was not wild about the movie. She went back to DN’s house after the movie and they had a chance to talk and get to know each other a bit better.

 

Yesterday, she wanted to get together with him again, after we had made our Kroger run. Mother and I told her she should suggest some activity that was free. So they played tennis, and then came here for dinner, at my invitation. I was glad to get a chance to talk to DN, and I also met his dad, although he didn’t stay for dinner. The parents are divorced.

Alesia was not happy with me yesterday afternoon when she was running around getting ready for tennis. She didn’t want to wear tennis shoes. I fussed at her and reminded her you can’t wear just any shoes to a tennis court, you have to wear actual tennis shoes. Finally, she wore her high tops. She muttered “I wish I hadn’t said I would even play tennis!” They played at the court at DN’s condo. I talked to her afterwards on the phone and asked her how it went and her reply was “It was FANTASTIC! We had SO much FUN!” That made me chuckle. As Mother said later, she is crazy about this boy and that makes everything fun.

 

DN could probably suggest staring at pavement for two hours and she would go along enthusiastically. Ah, to be young…

 

Michael is not adjusting well to the loss of Alesia’s attention. He got asked to go to dinner and hang out with his friend Colton last night, but before that, when it looked like he would be here with us and DN, he grumped. He said to me, “What are we going to talk about it dinner?!?” I replied something like “We’ll just have a nice conversation?” and he shot back with “I’m going to talk about everything embarrassing about Alesia that I can think of!”

 

I told him in no uncertain terms he WOULD be nice, or suffer a consequence. Fortunately, we didn’t have to deal with it.

 

We tried to read Harry Potter last night before bed but my poor voice is going. We stopped after a short time. Michael said “That’s painful to hear!” Of course, he can read the book on his own, but it’s more fun when I read to him, and it’s something I enjoy. I need to get to the doctor and get some drugs, I’m afraid…

 

Altogether and exhausting day for me, but both kids had fun. Today my plan is to do laundry but otherwise REST. We might take a ride and enjoy the fall scenery - the leaves are gorgeous here right now.

Dealing With Attention to a Limb Difference

I saw a post on one of my Yahoo groups the other day and it affected me greatly, because Michael deals with some degree of self-consciousness about his limb difference every time he goes outside our home. I seldom think about it, but he is reminded of his difference all the time.

The Yahoo group is for adoptive parents of children with limb differences. I asked the post's author, Jim DeWees, for permission to excerpt here what he said, and he kindly agreed. Jim is a single dad, and lost part of his leg to frostbite a few years ago. He has a son with the same limb difference as Michael. So Jim can totally understand how it feels to have to encounter stares and comments about being a person with a limb difference, and he has a great way of dealing with the attention.

"I adopted a son from China a little over 2 years ago. He is missing his right hand at his wrist joint, and has little fingers there on the ball of flesh where his hand should be.

He is turning 8 on Saturday, and it aware of his "difference" and deals with it really well. He went through a period where he really tried to hide it when we were in public, and at times will still do that if he notices kids looking at it, or staring at his little hand.

Many times we have been in places like the Children's Museum, or in a line at Disneyworld, or any public place, and children have asked questions like "What happened to his hand?" or "Where's his hand" or things like that. At first, the natural response would be to snap back at them and make them feel bad or hurt, but that doesn't really fix the situation.

I also have a prosthetic leg, and have had it for about 12 years now (after an accident in 1998), and so I can relate to Cameron's situation and have an advantage here, because I can always divert the kid's attention from Cameron to my own prosthetic leg. My leg isn't cosmetic at all, no skin or cover on it. I make prosthetics for a living and so am basically surrounded by amputees every day, all day, and it is just a "way of life" now. I have many different legs, and the one I wear the most is orange. The next favorite one is yellow, then I also have one with Mickey Mouse on it when we go to Disneyworld or Disneyland. I also have a black running leg, swimming leg, a red one, blue one, etc....

So I ask the curious child, or adult at times, if they have ever seen a prosthetic leg or anyone that wears a leg....and they generally say something like "On TV" or something. Or some will say that there is a kid at school with something, or a cousin has some issue of some sort, and start a small conversation with them.

Also, another BIG help is I will ask the child if they have seen Finding Nemo, and remember how he had his lucky little fin??? Well, this is Cameron's lucky little hand, and that makes him special, but it doesn't slow him down or anything.... .

The children always say, Oh Yeah, I remember, and then will say "Cool, that's really cool". And, then Cameron is like a proud little kid again, and goes away from this thinking that he is really special and that it's all ok.

Nobody ends up with hurt feelings, or feeling like a special moment or time was ruined by someone who was curious, or even rude.

In all honesty, in the past 12 years with me dealing with wearing a prosthesis, and having been all over the world (literally), I have had SO MANY situations where people are curious about my leg, and some will ask, some will just stare....some are polite and decent about it, and others are just not "socially gifted" with knowing what to say or being polite....although I have never come across anyone that has intentionally tried to be rude or insulting.

I have taken the time, many times, to gently educate a curious child about this, and turn it into a positive, teaching moment. And that has really been a great way to help this society get over some of the social hang-ups and issues.

I am NOT saying that what anyone has expressed here are "wrong" or "bad". I can totally understand this. There have been times when I have been kind of cranky or in a rush, or upset by something, and the last thing I needed was some kid making some comment, and then hear the parent say something like, "Don't look at that, or don't talk to him, or don't point", and it is usually the parent that is the one to blame for these situations. They should know better, but they are the ones with the problem..... and so I understand at that point of wanting to make some smart-a.... comment back to them, but I have refrained. The ONLY time I can remember making a comment to anyone was when I was in China, and they called Cameron a "Damaged Child" and asked why I would come all the way to China, and pay so much money for a damaged child.....and so I asked this woman (who was of the upper class of society there, and spoke perfect English) is she thought I was also Damamged and worthless... and she said, Yes, and she wondered how I could provide for myself and a child....

Boy, I came unglued with her, and told her that I live in a house that is bigger than she could ever possibly own in China, and that I make more money in a year than what most people in China make in their lifetime, and that Cameron's future is totally wide open, and there are NO limitations in MY country for him, people won't even care or notice anything about his hand, and the sky is the limit for him in the USA....SO, I was adopting him to get him out of the awful, cruel society of China, and taking him to a wonderful place to live. She was kind of shocked, and taken back by my remarks. I also went on to say that the reason I am adopting him is because he is probably smarter than she is, and also he has a much bigger heart in him that she did, and I can't stand the thought of this child being thrown away as garbage in their country. In fact, he is the LUCKY one on that train, because he was born with an issue, and abandoned, and that is his ticket to get out of that country.

Well, I don't HATE China by any means. And I don't hate their culture or society..... BUT, I do not like most of the attitude of these foreign countries who still have labels and reject anyone that has a difference like this.

But, we need to remember that it wasn't too long ago in the USA when anyone with a difference was basically put in a place out of sight and in an institution. They used to have "Homes for Crippled Children", for any child that needed braces for his/her legs, or who was missing limbs, or had spinabifda, etc. It has been in the last 50 years where the USA has become more tolerant or accepting of people with differences.

OK, enough said I think. But, I encourage you to all take the time to help educate the people that have questions and all. It is going to take another generation for people to understand about prosthetics and missing limbs, and the children today can grow up realizing that using a prosthetic limb doesn't mean that the person is less than equal or anything.

Take the time to use the Nemo comment, and that this is his lucky leg or lucky arm/hand... that usually breaks the ice and makes the conversation and situation turn to a positive situation.

If I got offended or upset everytime someone looked at Cameron or me, and made a comment or asked.....I would be upset most of my life, and EVERY outing we have had would have been a bad experience.. ..

So, I try to make everything more positive.

I really hope this helps and doesn't offend anyone.

Thanks and good luck."

Jim DeWees

[FINAL NOTE: If you are on Facebook, friend me and I will send you an invitation to join the group on there for parents of children with limb differences, if that's your situation too.]

Need a Laugh?!

Yesterday's post was such a downer, I feel bad. You need a laugh? Don't we all?? I promise you, if you go to this site, People of Walmart, you will laugh. You may scream in horror, but you will laugh, too.

If I ever have time to kill, I can go to Target or Walmart, sit in the food court, and be endlessly entertained. Not that I'm that desperate.

Alesia told me when she went to her boyfriend's house last weekend, as soon as she walked in she said "Where is the food? I am hungry. I need to eat. Now."

She weighs 115 lbs soaking wet and she can put away some serious groceries. When she says she's hungry, she's not playing.

"I looked in his fridge and there was no food in there!" she told me indignantly. I reminded her the boy lives just with his dad. "Honey, men don't keep food on hand like women do. I am not surprised." I wanted to say, welcome to the world of dating. It is NOTHING like the magazines....

She got him to order two large pizzas. She probably ate at least half of one of those. He will learn.

I wish I could borrow her metabolism for one day.  

Cold In My Head

I have no blog for today. I'm sorry. It has been a non-stop busy day, starting with Alesia's IEP meeting this morning. She is doing well, but I like having the IEP in place since she does have the learning disability.

We talked about Alesia’s college plans. The plan now is for her to get her average up so she can get the Hope scholarship. All Georgia residents with a 3.0 or better can go to a state school for free. Thanks lottery. She will likely start off at Georgia Perimeter, a two year college. If she makes good grades there she can go to University of Georgia, Georgia State, etc. in a few years, admission will not be a problem. She thinks she wants to be a vet tech. I am not sure that’s right for her. We shall see.

I am coming down with a bad cold and I feel yucko - stuffed up head, sore throat, etc.

When I heard about the shooting at Ft. Hood this afternoon I was filled with horror. My brother lived in Killeen and was posted at Ft. Hood for three years in the early 80's. He still has friends there. I left him a message to call me.

Please pray for the families of the victims of this senseless tragedy. Military families have enough hell to live through without adding this.

A Squash Obsession

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with squash. I crave yellow squash, and zucchini. Squash is more desirable than Prada shoes to me. Squash rocks my world.

I am now branching out. I have made butternut squash soup twice recently. My kids lapped it up like starving kittens. So did I, but more like a starving rhino...

Yes, I am obsessed.

I need to go to Squashaholics Anonymous.

I couldn't say this 5 years ago because I was such a wimp, but now I can be honest. I should go to Confession, except I'm not Catholic. I would probably slip up and say something like "Hail Mary, full of Squash..." and get burned at the stake.

I was reading Pioneer Woman's account of her book tour, trying not to be insanely jealous, and I came across this post. If you scroll down, way down, you will see a bowl of fried zucchini slices. Be still my heart. I drooled a puddle looking at it.

I don't remember eating squash as a child. I have a vague recollection of Mother cooking it once in a while, loaded with onions, and soft. Or maybe I am thinking of someone else's mother. Who knows. All I know was, I wouldn't touch an onion and the whole unholy Squash-Must-Marry-Onion thing made me shudder with horror.

I am trying to remember when I changed. I think it was after I had grown up and I ate Squash Casserole somewhere. Yellow squash, boiled until soft, and mixed with crumbled saltines, cheese, and butter, and baked. The onions were disguised. Heavenly.

I was dieting some years ago and realized squash is a great vegetable. I was trying to expand my vegetable repertoire, and squash looked so inviting. I tried coating it with olive oil, spices, and parmesan, and roasting it under the broiler. Yum!

I used to love to eat at a place here in Atlanta called The Vortex. As you can tell from the website, it's an upscale biker bar for yuppies, not actual bikers.  It was right down the street from my office two jobs ago.They had the BEST fried zucchini in the known universe. It would arrive in its basket, piping hot, like chips of molten lava, and burn my mouth to shreds and I ate that zucchini like it was my last meal before being hung with a clothesline. [Don't know where I got that image; sometimes it's best not to know.]

I cannot take the kids to the Vortex. They have naughty photos on the walls, women draped over motorcycles. If I took the kids, they would be too distracted to eat, I fear, and someone might call DFCS on me. I found the naughty photos disturbing. Mike, being a 13 year old boy, would probably have to get a shot of thorazine to deal with them....

Thank goodness the Harry Potter books don't contain descriptions of squash, just English food. Squash descriptions would totally distract me from my delightful performance art of reading. One thing is interesting. Rowling never describes the kids eating vegetables. Yet, she can afford a private chef for herself and could eat a different squash dish every day. Hmmm...

I tried to grow squash last year in my garden. I got two tiny yellow beauties. Some varmint or bug destroyed the rest of my squash. It was heartbreaking.

The good news was, my favorite vegetable stand had it in abundance all summer.

I tried Paula Dean's recipe for squash cakes not long ago and I loved it. However, they tend to be mushy and don't hold together well. I am working on a variation of it that works well and is low carb. Stay tuned on that.

Thanksgiving will mean a squash casserole. I will try not to watch my brother cover it with hot sauce. I am in denial about that..

If you have a favorite squash recipe, email me or leave it in a comment. The kids are getting hostile about my squash obsession. Please. I need inspiration.