I just talked to Michael's physical therapist, the remarkable Colleen, with Children's Healthcare, and she said they are still working on making the hand/arm, but it should be done soon. She said some of the parts of the myoelectrics had to come in from Germany, and the myoelectrics are always stopped and searched by Homeland Security. OK, I can deal with that. The good news, though, is that once the components are all here, Michael can get his hand. We don't have to wait and see what the insurance company will do, since Shriner's is picking up the costs. YAY!!!
I know that once Michael gets his arm he will have much more confidence, and feel less "different" - at least I pray that will be the case.
I wrote yesterday about our dreadful food experiences over the weekend. I forgot to mention that the best meal we had - in my opinion - was lunch yesterday at the Burger King in Clayton Georgia! Yes, it was supremely unhealthy, but we didn't have to deal with tasteless plastic food or tattoed or pierced wait people. Michael got a Burger King paper crown, and wore it, with great delight, through most of the rest of the day, except a few occasions when Alesia was wearing it. When it was time to unpack the car he gave me some attitude - "I KING, I no have to unload car!" to which I replied something along the lines of your better move your kingly little popka...
I watch with wonder the various stages of the brother/sister dynamic with my kids. They go through periods when they fuss constantly. All weekend, they were allies. Yesterday they spent a lot of time in the car watching movies together. When we got home and I made them go outside and get some exercise, Alesia took a walk and Michael followed on his skateboard. While they watched the movie last night they were curled up together on the loveseat like puppies.
I think perhaps sometimes if I'm hard on both of them, they band together against the common foe, Big Bad Mom. I fussed at them a good bit over the weekend about hotel etiquette [mainly being quiet], about not buying junk food out of the candy machines, and behaving themselves around Bud and Jean, who are elderly and frail. They were good, most of the time.
On Saturday morning, Alesia was getting on my last nerve, typical teen stuff, and we bickered a good bit. Finally, before lunch on Saturday, as I was parking the car, with only Michael in the back seat, I glanced in the mirror and saw his pouty face and asked him what was up. "Why you and Alesia always fighting, Mom? I so tired of it." I was dumbstruck. I felt ashamed. Here I was, the grownup, and I was being a total b**** and he called me on it. I said a prayer and resolved to try and be nicer during the trip, and I think I succeeded, for the most part.
I was reminded of the fact that I have to cut Alesia extra slack on Saturday afternoon, ironically at the Fun Depot. I had walked around a lot with the kids and was ready to sit down and drink something cold. I told Alesia [looking her in the eye, talking slowly] to keep an eye on Michael and I was going to the snack area, downstairs. I went down, got my snack [the aforementioned rubbery funnel cake] and people watched, one of my hobbies. About 15 minutes later, Alesia and Michael came running up, panic on their faces.
"Mom! You're here! We were so WORRIED!!" they said, almost in unison.
"I said I was coming down here to get a snack, remember? I asked y'all if you wanted to come?" I countered, perplexed.
"I thought you said you were going to the bathroom!" Alesia said, still breathless.
"Well, no. You didn't listen, kiddo. I've been right here, just like I said." I said mildly. They went off to play some more games.
I think this is what happens with Alesia in class. She gets excited or distracted and THINKS she hears the teacher correctly, and she doesn't. Then she doesn't turn in the assignment or prepare for the test, because she has the wrong information. I am still struggling with how much to bug her and how much to back off.
I am praying daily about the situation with my brother. The kids sent him a nice birthday card, and called to wish him happy birthday last week, singing on his answering machine, and he never responded. I sent him an amazon.com gift certificate and he never acknowledged it. He called Mother the day before his birthday, but the kids were in school. I had invited him to join us in Asheville and he never even answered the e-mail. I asked him to please let me know when he is coming in town next, so he could talk to Michael about the typical puberty guy things for me. No response. It just grieves me, and mother, terribly. He used to be a good brother and son, and we were all close. Now he has become more and more remote. I finally e-mailed him this morning:
My kids’ birth fathers were never around. They have almost no experience of male family members. Michael adored his much older birth brother, and the boy killed himself when he was 20. Alesia saw her mother "date" a series of men who never hung around to parent her. So my kids have never been able to love and trust a man. Men have always let them down. Now you are letting them down, by not calling, not coming to see them, and seemingly not caring.
You are either part of the solution or part of the problem. I am praying you will change soon, and be part of the solution.
If you pray, please pray he will respond to this, even if he's mad. I have tried being diplomatic. I've tried being a pest. The kids have sent cards and photos, left voicemails, etc. I've done everything I know to do. My brother is a good and decent guy, but I fear there is some issue that he's not sharing with us, and I worry. Try as I might I cannot seem to get him to understand how his actions have repercussions with all of us. I am just bewildered.