It has been an emotionally exhausting day, a day when I had the blues, and I spent most of the morning crying, which is a rare occurrence for me. I had to cry very softly, to not cause a scene at work.
I re-read an e-mail from Michael's physical therapist this morning, saying the insurance company wouldn't cover the cost of his prosthesis. Then I went online to see how much they cost - it varies, but all myoelectric hands cost over $10,000. Boy, that was depressing. Then I started thinking about the fact that I had not heard from Shriner's whether or not they would cover whatever costs the insurance wouldn't. I kept thinking about Michael's face when I was going to have to tell him I couldn't afford a hand for him, and it just broke my heart.
Sometime during all this I got off a short note to my brother, wishing him a happy birthday. His birthday is tomorrow. He will be 48. In the past year, since his last birthday, he has seen us exactly 4 times, each time being less than 24 hours in duration.
I know everyone has issues with siblings, but my brother worries me. Since his divorce, which was about 7 years ago, he has just kind of become a hermit. He lives 3.5 hours away, not that far, but he always claims he has to work, so he can't come see us. He promised Michael he would come see him in July, then reneged at the last minute.
He doesn't read my blog. My own brother. He has no idea what's going on with us. I hope maybe I'm wrong, actually. I hope he reads it, but just doesn't tell me. I want him to read this post.
I finally talked to the therapist late this afternoon and she said Shriner's will cover the cost of the arm, whatever the insurance company won't cover, anyway. I was so relieved I cried yet again.
I was in a good mood when I got home. Then Mother showed me this, and I started bawling all over again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMF_24cQqT0
For those of you who pray, please pray my brother will come around. He called Mother today, which is a good step. He hasn't called and talked to my kids in weeks. I think he is afraid to love them. I pray every day he will reach out to us. He is missing the joy of knowing a remarkable, delightful little boy, and a wonderful girl. He has no kids.
[If the Youtube link doesn't work, it's a guy named Whintley Phipps doing an incredible version of Amazing Grace. Cut and paste the link, if necessary.]
You need to get aggressive about raising money. Add a tip jar to your blog. Add advertising to your blog. Contact every organization you can find and ask them to help you with funding. Send messages out to all the mailing lists and groups who have adopted from Kazakhstan and for kids who have limb differences and ask for contributions. Contact Martha Osborne at rainbowkids (her story about your book on rainbow kids was what led me to your blog) and ask her to write another story about Michael. Squeeze every nickel and dime out of your budget. Visit daveramsey.com to get budget advice. Don't give up.
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 09, 2007 at 07:40 AM
doh. Or not. I should have read all the way to the end. I was so upset about Michael not getting his arm!
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 09, 2007 at 07:42 AM
Glad to learn about Michael's arm costs. I'm going to Augusta the 24th to see about another elbow. I think this will be no. 8 or 9. Plus I'll go to the x3@X!!X$!& VA about hearing aida and this morning a crown came unstuck!
Seems like it's all downhill!
Posted by: Frank | October 09, 2007 at 09:37 PM
Well, I was so upset about him not getting his arm!
Ben Cliff
Posted by: Order taking service | August 11, 2010 at 11:34 AM