I feel compelled to write a quick post and clarify something.
Back in 1996 when Tom Cruise did Jerry Maguire - one of my all-time favorite movies - he was awfully cute. Now he is a couch-jumping Scientology-spouting wack job. I hate to see it. He's a good actor. I will not be running for president of his fan club anytime soon, however.
Our movie tonight was Alesia's choice of one of my old VDR tapes, When Harry Met Sally. In addition to being able to sing every word to every song and knowing most of the lines, the movie brought back a lot of bittersweet memories.
WHMS was released in 1989. It became like a personal theme song for me, the whole film. I had jeans and turtlenecks like Meg Ryan. I had curly hair. [Well, mine was reddish brown and natural, not a blonde perm, but still...] I had a man I loved, who only thought of me as a friend. Yep, for about 8 years, we were close friends and that's all. I kept thinking if I was patient, he would suddenly become mature and realize happiness was right in front of him. Sadly, he never matured. Finally, in 1996, I came clean about my feelings, and he said he could only think of me as a friend. It was winter 1996. I was devastated.
We learned a few months later that my father had cancer, and that then overshadowed everything else.
The year 1996 was horrible. I parted ways with the man I thought of as the love of my life, the man I devoted myself to for 8 years. My father died. A close friend at work quit and I learned she had been telling lies about me to my boss for several years.
This work "friend" had been feeding misinformation to my supervising attorney for years, because she wanted me fired so she could take my job. The attorney suggested to me on several occasions that I should check myself into a mental health facility. I thought that was really bizarre, but then she was a bizarre person. Then I found out about my friend's betrayal.
The only good thing about 1996 - which I didn't know about until years later - was that it was the year my son was born. So in the midst of terrible grief and pain, a small ray of light was born on the other side of the world.
"When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
From a perspective of a dozen years, I see a lot more now. The pain of 1996 gradually subsided, with the help of a good therapist.
The man I loved is actually still my friend.
My father's spirit lives on in me, and I see him in the faces of my children, every day, even though they are adopted.
The friend who betrayed me? She actually contacted me right before I brought Alesia home and wanted to be friends again. I couldn't do it. I know the Lord says to forgive, and I did that, but I couldn't forget.
I never realized my life was a soap opera until just now. LOL