My son Michael turned 14 years old today. It's hard to believe my baby is now a TEEN. Not a tween, a TEEN. Adopting Michael was the best decision I ever made.
After I had adopted Alesia in 2004 I had no plans to adopt again, but I soon realized she needed a sibling. My search began. In fall 2005 I found the photo of "Igor" on the Adoption Ark website. I can't copy the photo I saw, but he is a tiny, scowling, burr-headed little boy in that photo. I knew as soon as I saw his face he was my son. I just knew. He was born the same month my father died, in 1996. One life was over but another had begun.
In December 2005 I started the ball rolling, without telling anyone. This is from my journal:
I sent an e-mail to Kim Fury at Adoption Ark asking about Igor, and received this reply: Igor is in Kazakhstan. He is available for adoption now. He is described as being bright and funny.
I was showing Big Igor [translator and driver] one of the photo books I
made for Igor, when he was brought in. We were all sitting around a small
conference table. Igor looked at me. I smiled. He smiled shyly. He sat down
across the table from me and next to the Assistant Director.
It was explained to him that I was from America and I was
interested in adopting him. While they told him the situation I studied him.
When I got a chance, I introduced myself in Russian. He
smiled, probably not expecting me to know ANY Russian, but of course I always
hedge my bets and explain “I speak Russian BADLY, and just a little.” Russian
speakers always appreciate that I try, I’ve found.
I asked him if he wanted to go to America. “DA!” [yes] was
the enthusiastic answer.
The first question he had for me was my age. “Honey, I am
really old, I’m 44,” I explained. He laughed and told Big Igor that seemed
really old, to him.
We spent a good deal of time poring over the two photobooks
I had brought for him. One is a homemade job and consists mostly of photos of
me, Granny Elva and Alesia and the house, including his room. His eyes lit up
when he saw his room. He also was tickled to see Coco, and repeated her name
several times, grinning. I explained about the photo of Coco [our dog] in a
jaunty Christmas sweater “She doesn’t always dress up like that.”
The second book was one I had made using a program on the
net, and it’s a hardbound book, pretty nice looking. I had Big Igor explain
that it will stay with me until after court, then he can keep it. It has more
photos, including a photo of my brother Bruce when he was a little boy. I
explained to him that he reminds me a lot of Bruce.
Throughout the photo gazing he was very quiet, but clearly very interested in everything. Afterwards, I had him brought closer to me and we talked for a few minutes, big Igor translating. I told him that when I adopted Alesia I had to teach her how to be in a family, and I would teach him too. “We have a very loving family,” I explained. “We have a rule, you will have to hug me at least twice a day, OK?” He came over and I hugged him. I almost cried, but I caught myself in time and didn’t. He was so tiny, it was like hugging a little bird. I kissed the top of his head.
This is one of the earliest photos I have of Michael, thanks to the folks at Antares. He is on the far right. This was made during the summer of 2005, when he was at camp. As you can see he is tiny. This is pretty much how he looked the day I first met him, but when I met him it was March and freezing cold and snowy. Contrast this with the photo of him today - what an amazing growth!
