Tomorrow is my parents' 55th wedding anniversary. Wow. My aunt and uncle celebrated 58 years together today. That's some kind of record.
I started life having 4 uncles [3 now deceased] and all of them were married for more than 40 years. Only one divorce in the whole lot, and that was a brief early marriage for one of my Thompson uncles.So I've observed 5 strong marriages [including my parents] firsthand.
How do people do it, stay married such a long time?! As a spinster, I find it totally puzzling. Even if I were a hottie and had gotten married young, I honestly don't think I would've stayed married long. I have a low tolerance for boredom. A man whose favorite pastime is sitting in a barcalounger watching The Game would've bored me to tears.
In 3 of the 5 marriages I know a lot about [including my parents' marriage] the two people involved are opposite in temperament. My aunts Diddy and Myrtle buzzed around, efficient and energetic, while both had laid back, easygoing husbands. In my folks' marriage, Dad was the one buzzing around. Mother was pretty laid back, most of the time.
I think that's likely what makes the best marriages, that yin and yang. OTOH, my aunt and uncle [Don and Jane] who have been married 58 years, are not so opposite. Jane is very efficient and smart, and Don is somewhat laid back [takes him 10 minutes to get out of bed every morning] but they are more alike than they are different.
I think a big part of it is sharing a worldview, the same basic values, and a sense of humor. Mother has said often that she and Dad laughed at the same things, and that made tense situations tolerable, a lot of times. They also had a strong mutual respect.
It's highly unlikely that I will ever get married, but if I do it will be to someone I respect. Love is important, but respect is equally important, I think.
Michael cooperated yesterday in watching the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, one of my favorite movies. It still makes me laugh.
I don't know what point I want to make here, except perhaps this. If you have a strong marriage, or even one that is a "work in progress" - I congratulate you. You've done what many folks can't, get married and stay married.
If, like many of my friends, you are divorced, don't despair. Life can be very rich and rewarding without a spouse.
The key is to love and take care of another human being, be it a child, or a relative, or even a friend. That's what it's all about, Charlie Brown.
