This is what I have learned:
There is no perfect love.
Love is like soil; filled with millions of grains -
Tiny stones worn through time, but
Whether boulder or sand,
Waiting to grow things.
Death is not even an end to it.
Dad taught me that.
The tiny cord stretching from that world to this
Unseen but unbroken.
I feel it.
I feel your arms around me, and hear your voice.
I look in the mirror and see your eyes.
Love can cover miles in a fraction of a second.
Love penetrates space, time, oceans, iron –
It is everything.
It can be anywhere.
I did not make a mistake in loving you, little girl.
I did not make a mistake in letting you go.
The agony of being a mother is letting go.
Only in the arena would you learn.
Only the harshest lessons would penetrate your soul, so encased in fences to keep the predators out.
I sought to spare you –
protect you –
save you --
I forgot that stubborn spirit that kept you alive.
You think we are not in touch.
You think you are hidden from me.
You think we are far away.
You do not understand
the filaments of love
that cocoon you.
In my heart a niche awaits, sheltering
a flame which never wavers.
I know you will see it one day.
My hands may be empty but God’s hands are holding you close,
and one day those hands will lead you home.