According to Susan Miller yesterday was supposed to have been the luckiest day of the year for me. I read horoscopes mostly for fun, and because I am have a relentlessly curious mind, and I am always amazed when they are accurate in any way.
There were several positive things about yesterday, but I can't blog about them. It remains to be seen if they will work out the way I'd like.
There was one very negative thing, but it, again, isn't really bloggable. [email me if you like]
I read several blogs every day, and my blogging friends are all dealing with some sort of mini-crisis. It makes me feel better to know I am not the only one slogging through life, slaying dragons.
"We read to know we are not alone."
Michael got sunburned on his face yesterday, because he spent most of the afternoon at the pool. We took mother to get a pedicure, came home and headed for the pool. It was cloudy and overcast and looked like it would be stormy, as it has been a lot lately. I hadn't been able to swim laps since Saturday.
So he asked about sunscreen as we were walking out the door and I said nah, don't bother. When I got to the pool I put on sunscreen, and looked for him, but he had wandered off to chat with his friends.
A few weeks ago he was delighted to find an aloe plant at Kroger and we bought it and put it in front of a sunny window in the family room. He has been more attentive and caring of that plant than ANY plant I have ever seen. He hates to cut off a piece of it, but I told him they are like starfish and will grow a new "arm" so don't worry. I have no idea if that's true but it comforted him. The plant is thriving, but I've told him not to over-water it.
The good thing is that Michael's skin [according to our lovely Italian dermatologist] has a lot of Melanin in it, so any day he gets a bit burned, it's turned brown by the next day. Unlike me, with blue eyes and reddish hair - I burn, I hurt, I peel. Yuck.
I do spend a fair amount of time at the pool doing backstroke, which exposes my face to the sun, so sunscreen is important. My face is getting a little bit brown even though my legs remain ghostly pale.
I do not swim quickly or all that well. In the deeper water, I walk and swing my arms, because by that part of the lap I am tired. I also swim breaststroke a lot because it's a "rest" stroke.
I cannot wear goggles. They give me a headache. So I have to watch very carefully, and lift my head and look around, so I don't crash into the side of the pool. I did that once, when I was 8 years old, and chipped a front tooth. It has been crowned ever since.
When I am in the pool, I feel close to God. I know that sounds weird. I mentally screen out all the noise around me, particularly when I am swimming on my back. I look up and see the sky, and start a litany of prayers that I say, off and on, throughout the day. For some reason they seem to float directly up into the sky, into God's ear, when I am staring at the sky.
Right now my life is a corner. There are so many things that need to happen for me to move forward effectively, and everyone around me is caught up in this transition. I can see around the corner, but really going forward is totally dependent on other people's actions, which is very hard for me to handle.
I've always been very independent. As a toddler, Mother used to fight with me every day. I didn't want her to choose my clothes. I didn't want her to dress me. I was single-minded and stubborn and I constantly hollered: I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!
Dad used to tease me and say I rarely talked but when I did, it was to say "I'D RATHER do it MYSELF."
Where did I get that sassiness?? I have no idea.
Maybe I just need to channel that strong-willed little girl and plow on through to the next phase of my life...