A friend of mine said not long ago, "He [meaning Michael] wants to see you happy so BE HAPPY." [my capitalization]
The remark irritated me to the max. How could I simply "be happy"? Am I not entitled to feel grief and resentment for all the trials I've endured in 2013? Why should I have to plaster on some fake smile and pretend to Be Happy?!
The more I pondered the absurdity of her statement, the more my Inner Voice was saying "CHOOSE IT."
I have had a lot of things to deal with in 2013. Here are just the highlights:
Trying to get The Write Rainmaker to be a healthy business.
Trying to deal with physical problems that led up to my hysterectomy in July.
Dealing with the onslaught of medical bills since my surgery.
My son's having a head injury.
Having to put Coco down.
Continued worry about my daughter.
I could [and sometimes do] think obsessively about all of these issues and more. I could go over them again and again in my mind, trying to reason out solutions to the issues.
I am prone to not handling things well. I worry. I fret. I root around in my own head until the dirt flies everywhere and I feel mentally like Pigpen, walking around in a cloud of his own dirt.
What GOOD does that do, though? What does it accomplish?
The best thing I can do is think of all my blessings, with gratitude. I am grateful for so many things. A warm house. The company of my mom and my son. My cute Lola. Great friends.
Happiness is a CHOICE.
It truly is.
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be" -- Abe Lincoln
Being glum and worried all the time accomplishes nothing. I know this.
So what if we are not having an elaborate Christmas? We will be together.
I am repeating this as my new mantra: Happiness is what I choose. In 2014 I will remind myself as often as I need to that for the sake of my family and my own sanity, I must choose happiness.
Instead of dwelling on all the unhappy things, I will simply choose happiness.
Here endeth the sermon.
photo by Lisa Amos