The Crab Chronicles

Look At My Beautiful Family

When I was a kid and walking down the street in either Augusta or Knoxville with my dad, it was always tedious. We couldn't go anywhere quickly. People Dad knew would stop him and want to chat. He was so well known, from the bank where he worked, or Kiwanis or the board of this or that organization, that he knew most of the other businesspeople in town.

I quickly learned that if he called a man "Chief" or a woman "Honey or Darling" that meant he couldn't remember their name.

My friend Cindy LaJoy lives in rural Colorado, and has three adopted Asian boys and two caucasian girls. I only say it that way because they get stared at a lot, out there, and it's gotten really uncomfortable for her at times. She posted about it on Facebook. I wished I could comfort her in some way, but of course I can't change public curiosity or opinions.

But at least I know what it's like to be stared at.

I also know how I felt sometimes with my dad. My father was a tall, handsome man. He was always well dressed. Next to him, I felt like the fat, ugly little girl, many times.  Sometimes people would look at dad, then me, clearly puzzled that such a handsome man produced a lumpish kid like me, but they could see the curly brown hair and high foreheads and know right away we were biologically connected.

So I know a little tiny bit of how Cindy feels, with her kids. A tiny bit.

To me, after reading her blog for so many years, and emailing, and Skyping, I feel like Cindy and her kids are family. One of my daydreams is to take a trip out west, one day, with Michael, to see the LaJoys, and see that part of America.

I wonder if people in Colorado will stare at me and Michael?! He is clearly part Kazakh. I am clearly not. He is missing his right hand. I am not.

I have a friend who adopted a limb difference child from China a few years ago. My friend, Jim, lost one of his lower legs as a result of an accident, so he wears a prosthetic leg. One day at an outdoor cafe in China, a group of Asian ladies stared at Jim and his little 5 year old son so long, Jim finally got mad and went over to them, whipped off his prosthetic and put it on the table right next to them. "Yeah, I am missing my leg, and son is missing his arm. SO WHAT?! Don't you know it's RUDE to stare?" He berated them for a minute, grabbed his leg, put it back on, and walked away. They likely didn't speak English but his body language and tone spoke volumes.

In Asian culture, sad to say, kids with congenital limb differences almost always get put up for adoption. There are many little boy babies and toddlers with limb differences that are available. Some are so minor, maybe just a missing finger or a club foot. Those kids are all considered "special needs" which is so bizarre to me. (So... if you want to adopt a baby or toddler from China and don't feel like waiting around 3-5 years, look into special needs adoption. Much quicker process.)

I feel blessed that we live in a very diverse area. Michael's school isn't all white, by any means. In fact, you see just as many Hispanic and black kids, and some Asian kids, at his school.

Walking down the street in Atlanta, you are likely to encounter all races, and all types of families. There are 2 mommy and 2 daddy families. There are big families with many kids, and little ones, like mine.

In the law firm where I work, all three lawyers are married to a lady of a different ethnic background, and they all have children.

I wish Cindy could march up to the people who stare and say "Thank you for taking the time to contemplate my family. Aren't my children BEAUTIFUL?! They all came to me through the miracle of adoption, and I am so blessed to be their REAL mom. I hope you will spread the word that families come in all different sizes and races nowadays. Thanks and God Bless."

Then again, wouldn't it be nice if she never felt like she had to explain her family to anyone??

The two kids in the middle are Angela [Cindy's child now] and Michael, at their orphanage in about 2006.

New Arm

When I got Michael home in spring 2007, it took me some time to figure out what to do about getting him a prosthetic hand. My insurance at the time didn't cover all of it, or even half of it.

The good folks at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and especially Colleen Coulter-O'Berry stepped in and helped.

This is Mike with Colleen and Brian Giavedoni in 2008:

Above, Colleen did physical therapy with Michael to help him make the best use of his prosthetic. Since he didn't lose his hand until he was 5, his brain was wired to use a hand, and it was easier for him to adapt to the prosthetic. Kids with congenital limb differences have a harder time.

This is a video we made about Mike's arm and all the things he can do. Makes me nostalgic to see what a little guy he was. He had been home less than a year. I can't believe more than 12,000 people have seen it! Wow.

 

Over the years, Brian has rebuilt and fine-tuned the first arm, and made it last an amazingly long time. Last fall, though, I knew it was time for a new one.

Michael said the old arm ran out of power before the school day was finished, which was embarrassing to him. Then there's just this dead weight on the end of his short arm.

This morning he finally got the new one!

I am amazed by how much he has grown!

I am also grateful to Colleen and Brian for their amazing skills and kindness. Thanks to Colleen, Mike learned about Adventure Amputee Camp, and has been several times. It's the one time he's with other limb difference kids and he feels perfectly normal.

He loves going to camp and swimming, water skiing, doing the ropes course, riding horses, and all the other activities.

I'm also very grateful for camp, because it was at camp that he first played tennis, and realized it was a sport he could really do well. Now it's an important part of his life and he loves to play.

So many "angels" have become a part of my inner circle and continue to help me with Michael. He may not have a lot of materials things, but we have lovely and wonderful friends. These are just a few of the important folks who recognize what an amazing kid he is and give so much to him: Colleen, Brian, Tom, Melanie, Steve, Lesleigh, Jan.

...and of course, his Granny, who absolutely adores him.

What a privilege and a joy it is, to be Michael's friend/relative/mama.

China Adoption by Single Women

The message below was posted on my Yahoo group for parents who have adopted children with limb differences. It's very exciting to me. I hope all the children can be matched with loving single moms or two-parent families.

"China now allows single women to adopt children with individual needs who are part of China's "Special Focus" program. Many single women have been matched with a young child from China with in as little as 2 months for the gender, age and individual needs they requested. On average, single women on WACAP's list wait 2 - 3 months to be matched with a child depending on the needs and ages they are open to.

Recently, single women working with WACAP have been matched with children with individual needs such as Hepatitis B, ear atresia, spina bifida, a missing limb, thalassemia, and albinism. Contact Ckids@wacap.org or FamilyFinders@wacap.org to learn more about the kinds of children that we have seen in China's "Special Focus" program. WACAP (www.wacap.org) is a non-profit adoption agency.
WACAP will help you complete the necessary paperwork to be on our list of singles to be matched with a child – within the gender, age and individual needs you request. Many children who are available to single parents are never posted on agency websites because they're instantly matched with families when new child information is released by the CCCWA. When the files are released in China, WACAP staff is up late at night to match you with a child who needs a family. You will have three days to review the child's information and accept or decline the child for adoption. If the referral isn't the right child for you, we will continue to search the next month, when new files are again released.
If you've been waiting to find the right child from China on our current list, change your strategy now! Contact WACAP so they can explain the adoption process for single women. Contact FamilyFinders@wacap.org or ckids@wacap.org. Even if your homestudy is not yet started the whole process can take as little as 12 months to have your child home and wrapped in your arms."

MANY Chinese babies are born with congenital limb differences. Sometimes, they are simply missing a finger or two. Even if they are missing a hand, like my son, they can function quite well in society, here in the USA. Please consider one of the special needs children available in China, if oyur heart is so inclined.

New Hands

Most of the time I forget that my son doesn't have a right hand. It's just not an issue. He does everything he wants to do.

Tonight, before bed, however, I wanted to cry. I showed him an NPR story about Hugh Herr, a double amputee who designs high-tech prosthetic limbs at MIT. I was so fascinated by the story it didn't occur to me it would be distressing to Michael. He sat and listened quietly for a few minutes. "What about HANDS?!" he asked, with a note of despair and distress in his voice I rarely hear. "I'm sure he does high tech hands too, kiddo," I said quickly.

We looked for stories, videos, about Herr working on hands, and didn't find any. So we went on YouTube and did find some very fascinating stories about bionic hands. Michael was excited to see the fingers move independently, something his myoeletric hand doesn't do.

Not that his current prosthetic isn't usable. It is. At the time he got his first prosthetic, in December 2007, he was tickled to be able to grasp things in his prosthetic hand, and to look reasonably normal. He was so TINY, though!

Now, contrast my cute little guy (above in December 2007) and this much bigger guy in February 2010: (Above and below, Mike with his wonderful prosthetist, Brian, at CHOA.)

I told Mike there is nothing I would like more than to be able to get him a new bionic hand. There are two problems - money, and growth. Mike is still growing. Even if I could get him a bionic hand tomorrow, he would likely grow out of it within two years.

Money is a daunting issue, though. The cool hands made by the company Touch Bionics are awesome, but pricey. According to a news story I found, they are $50-70,000.

Mike has a prosthetic hand now that costs more than $30,000, and he has it due to the generosity of the Rotary Club, who has a charity that helps get kids prosthetics. I couldn't afford that prosthetic on what I make. It was out of reach even when I was working full-time.Thank God I was able to get the cost of his myoelectric prosthetic underwritten, largely due to the efforts of our friend Colleen, seen below. She is a wonderful therapist.She also has been responsible for Mike getting to go to the terrific Adventure Amputee Camp.

Brian has worked miracles, getting Mike new adaptations to his hand to let him be able to have some sort of a prosthetic, despite the amazing growth he's had.

When Michael heard the cost of a new bionic prosthetic, he said quietly, "There's no way we can afford that, Mom."

I wanted to cry.

I told him, we should aim to save the money over the next five years, so when he gets ready to go to college, we can buy him a new high tech bionic hand. I told him it won't be so bad if Bruce and Granny and I all save, and Mike can save his money, too.

I didn't tell him that Granny and I are having to be creative to get every bill paid now. It's a struggle.

I am thinking about putting a donation button on this blog, to try and raise money for the prosthetic. Everyone I know is struggling financially, though. Everyone has been hit by this recession. We live in scary times.I also don't want to embarrass Mike. He is very conscientious about saving money.

I am going to pray about it. If you have any ideas, drop me a comment or email, OK?!

As discouraged as I get sometimes, when I see a story like this I think, wow, what an uphill battle this amazing lady fights, to lead a normal life without arms and legs. We should all look at her example of what perseverance and faith can accomplish..

Before you go to sleep again, look at your hand. Flex your fingers. If that isn't an example of the greatness of God, I don't know what is. Now if we can just get the scientists and inventors to follow suit..

Two Little Boys

My friend Stephanie posted this information on her blog because there are two precious little boys in Eastern Europe who desperately need homes. They have very manageable medical conditions - physical, not mental. If you or someone you know would consider a special needs child [limb differences] please pass along a link to this. I can email more information.

Joey-- Joey is a 3yo little boy.  We are awaiting official dx of the limb difference.  What I see is all 4 limbs are indeed there.  Nothing going on w/ the arms from what I can gather.  Keep in mind, I'm NOT an expert.  Basing on Bojan a bit as he has digit differences, clubfoot, and missing leg.  Joey is healthy other than the limb difference.  Now, the orphanage feels he may or may not have hearing issues but unfortunately, can not be tested until stateside.  As a parent w/ a child w/ limb differences and a child w/ hearing issues, I can assure you both are quite manageable and a normal life is absolutely a possibility.  This little boy has SO MUCH potential with a family in the states that can get his hearing tested and address the limb difference.  Are you this little boy's mom or dad?  This country will allow singles and older parents.  It will also allow big families. 

Jack-- Oh my oh my!  I could scoop this one up in a heartbeat...no lie!  His personality just shines through in photos.   That sweet blonde haired kid will win you over.  Just sweetness exudes from him.  Jack is 6yo and going to an institution.  His main issue?  Arthrogryposis.  Yep.  That's it. [NOTE FROM DEE: arthrogryposis is simply limb contracture issues, and there are treatments.] And, it only effects his legs.  He does have a few other issues as well but most are related to the limb differences such as scoliosis and hip dysplasia.  His legs are in a criss cross position.  He is 6yo.  Developmentally, he is fine.  He has a life sentence coming to him when he turns 7 in November.  It's an institution where he will remain.  A family MUST be found for him and soon.  He is not a big boy at all.  There is a $5,000 grant available as well to help w/ expenses of his adoption.  A family interested in Jack will have to keep in mind medical care will be necessary when home.  So access to medical care or a Shriners is important.  

Okay, I personally have a kid w/ limb differences.  I can assure you, it does NOT stop Bojan from doing anything whatsoever.  There are no limits.  None.  [NOTE FROM DEE: My son Michael has a limb difference and it doesn't stop him from doing anything he wants to do. He plays tennis and baseball, swims, runs, etc. - and Shriners will pay for treatment of limb difference kids if the family's medical doesn't cover everything or if there's no medical coverage. Shriner's Hospitals ROCK!] Bojan is getting ready to go to middle school.  Had he stayed where he was, this may not have been possible.  They always told me he'd be President some day. 

Anything is possible if given a chance.  Jack and Joey need this chance.  A chance at love, a chance at a family, a chance at life.  Both can go so, so far in life especially since they are both young.  I can only imagine the possibilities.  Endless.  But, it starts with a simple yes.  Please consider these two boys.  If you can't adopt, at least help spread the word.  Jack especially is running out of time. Once in the institution, he has no chance of being adopted out of there. None. All hope lost.  Please think of these two boys.  One's life is in the balance.  I'm sure you've seen the results of transferring these kids to an institution.  And for a limb difference?!  Give Jack a chance at a new life.  A life where he can do things.  Reach his fullest potential.  Not lie in an institution and wait to die.  This kid has spunk!  He's got life and ready to live it.  Please help him do so.

For either of these kids, you can connect Kids To Adopt out of WA state for more details.  I have some other details but they'll have lots more of course.  Ask to speak to either Katie or Sandy.  Both can help you w/ your son.  I would not be advocating for these two if I didn't think it was critical.  There are these two kids and the sibs w/ CF(cystic fibrosis) that I know have a ton of potential.  The 2yo and 3yo sibs w/ CF have no chance at life if they stay.  Their fees are low.  Any of these children you can find out more info on.  Their website is www.kidstoadopt.org and it has their contact info on there.  All 4 of the kids I've spoken about are from Eastern Europe.  Thanks for taking the time to look and feel free to pass it on.  These children need a home and fast!

Book Talk

Yesterday was a long and frustrating day, but in a good way. I spent a lot of time pondering what the cover of my new e-book should look like. Covers are so important. They are the first opportunity for an author to really make a connection with a readers, and unfortunately books are often judged simply by their covers.

I am not too bad of an artist, but the stuff I drew didn't really look professional, so I reluctantly scrapped my sketches.The professional artist the publisher hired has a lot of notes to read this morning, LOL. I hope she understands my ideas.

As soon as my book, The Warrior's Box, is available for download, I will post a link so those of you with e-readers can get your copy! Hopefully that will happen in the next few days.

Michael got a summer haircut yesterday. His hair is shorter now than it's been in a couple of years, but that's OK. He's going to the pool every day, so he wants a no-fuss haircut.

We learned some exciting news. Mike is going to scuba camp! Usually he goes to the Adventure Amputee Camp, but this year there's a second camp down in Florida for limb difference kids who want to learn scuba. He's a bit anxious about leaving me for a week, but I know he will have fun. Since we can't afford to take a vacation I am so glad he's getting this opportunity.

Since the baseball game Tuesday night was the last of the season, I sent Mike's baseball coach a note thanking him for his hard work with the boys. It was such a good experience for Michael, despite the fact they didn't win many games. The coach sent back the sweetest note, and here is some of what he said:

"It was my pleasure having Mike on my team. Not only did he give every effort, his sportsmanship and attitude were great. His smile is infectious. My approach is to find out early in the season if a player is coachable and Michael was always willing to learn and listen."

After "hanging out" with friends for two days, Alesia came home yesterday. She hadn't slept or eaten well, and she was pale and grumpy. I let her read the manuscript for my book, however, and she brightened up a good bit, surprisingly. She was able to talk about it at dinner and sound knowledgeable and articulate. The only critical thing she said was the story is "simple" and I pointed out it's a kids book, aimed at 13-15 year old girls. However, I want it to have some appeal to older readers, too. So far the grownups who have read it liked it and said it wasn't boring. That includes my mother, who doesn't read Harry Potter and all the juvenile fiction. If she thought it was a bore she'd tell me.

It's very exciting, all this book stuff, but today I must turn my attention back to finding gainful employment. I can't support myself simply by writing, not yet anyway.

I started reading the second book by my brother's friend Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta. So far, it's really good. It's purely entertaining, which is what I want right now. I just finished a book by Karen White, Learning to Breathe, and although it was well-written as always with her books, I need something less heavy any angsty... [is that a word?!]

Michael and I watched one of my all-time favorite movies yesterday, Chariots of Fire. It's a great story and it was filmed in England. I don't like most of the music, though. The cheesy electronic piano stuff just makes my skin crawl. I wish they'd re-issue it with a better soundtrack.

The heat is up into the upper 80's, and I am hoping we can get some badly-needed rain today.

Problems and Solutions

The past few days have been pretty distressing for a variety of reasons, chief among them the fact that being a parent to a teenager IS truly a nightmare. It's worse than nailing jello to a tree. Add to it the fact my daughter spent nearly 7 years in Russian orphanages and learned a lot of bad behaviors that years of love and therapy haven't wiped out, and you have one stressed mama.

I don't want to go into details of the issues here publicly, but I will say this - Alesia is grounded until the end of April. So you get an idea of the stress level.

Just when I think my life and my woes are way worse than anyone else's, I read about a family struggling to adopt a precious baby girl from Eastern Europe, a baby with limb differences.

This family has a lot of what we call gumption, though. They are raffling off an iPad 2 in order to raise funds for the adoption. Pretty clever. If you want a chance to win, please see their blog. Please re-post on Facebook and help in any way you can, even if, like me, you are short of funds. The longer a child spends in an orphanage, the worse the issues are later..

One of the nicest things the government has ever done is give adoptive parents a sweet tax credit to help them pay off adoption expenses. Unless you adopt from foster care domestically, you are looking at expenses of $15-50,000 in most cases. Costs vary widely depending on the country. The tax credit really helps. The only catch is you can't get the money until after you have adopted.

There's not much else I want to say but I will leave you with a funny:

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.  After every flight, airline pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.  Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.  Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. * P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. * P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. * P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. * P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.. * P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. * P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. * P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. * P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode. * P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. * P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief   search. * P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. * P:Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.. * P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.. * And the best one for last * P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Inspiring Dancer

Every once in a while I run across something that moves me so much I have to put it on here and share it.I love stories of all kinds, but stories about people who refuse to give up no matter what happens to them always inspire me.

As most of you know, my son Michael has only one hand. I belong to a Yahoo group specifically for adoptive parents of limb difference children, and it's a wonderful group. It has 719 members, and the children are adopted from all over the world.These are loving, smart, funny kids, just like any other kids. The missing hand or leg doesn't stop them. They inspire all us parents.

Anyway, Lorraine Fuller is another parent in the Yahoo group. Lorraine posted this about her daughter and it made me cry. With her permission I am reprinting it here. I will try to post a photo.

I wanted to take a moment to brag about my daughter. Paulina was adopted from Russia at the age of ten months. She is missing both fibulas and one tibial and most of her foot and ankle bones. She had a symes amputation on her right leg and a little bitty foot on her left leg where her knee should be. (also some hand differences, but they don't affect her much at all). Anyway, she is a dancer. She dances ballet and tap with her regular prosthetics, and she invented her own special prosthetics that Scottish Rite made for her to dance on Pointe and she does hip hop and some other types without any prosthetics. 

 

At the end of January, she attended a hip hop convention. She took a two hour class Friday night and danced all day Saturday and Sunday and walked away with a top award. Since she won that award the year before, they just gave her a lifetime scholarship.  She got a standing ovation and it was pretty amazing.

 

This past weekend she went to a more general dance convention called the Pulse. She was in the opening number so this meant lots of dancing, again starting Friday night.  One of the instructors was Mia Micheals, world famous choreographer.  Mia stopped class (500 in that class, over a thousand in other classes) and told the dancers that this (Paulina) was what it meant to dance with heart and to put your all into it.  Afterwards she hugged her and told her that she wants to work with her. 

By lunch break on Sunday Paulina had terrible rug burn on her legs and the end of her "stumpy" was cracked and bleeding. (she doesn't wear prosthetics to dance in conventions because after the first hour of classes her legs swell too much from the constant dance, it's pretty high level intensity) She danced two more classes giving it her all and would not quit.  (Even when the last teacher, very grumpy because he had just flown in two hours before from shooting a Brittany Spears video told her to stand up three times before he figured out she didn't have legs)  Anyway, Mia Micheals wanted to recognize her in the award ceremony so they offered her a lifetime scholarship and she got another standing ovation.  Capezio, one of the biggest names in dance supplies, gave her some free shoes and some other opportunities may be opening up.  She went to school in her wheelchair yesterday, and came home sick at 2.  She is home sick again today. (Her dance teacher is also sick, so I think something was going around and all the dance weakened her immune system) but she still says it was worth it. She told the Capezio lady that dancing was like breathing for her. 

Oh and the capezio people thought her pointe legs were a work of art, so great job Scottish Rite!!! Anyway, thanks for listening to my brag, I am so proud of my daughter. She doens't give up or slow down or ask for special treatment, she just gets out there and does her best. She practices all the time and works hard.

Lorraine Fuller

Differently Abled

I don't think a whole lot about my son being an amputee, because it has so little impact on our daily lives. I help him tie his shoes and sometimes help him with other small tasks, but that's about it. He can tie his shoes himself, but if we're in a hurry I just tie them for him.

I was rudely reminded recently that he is regarded as "handicapped" by ignorant folks who don't know him. He tried out for a little league baseball team a couple of weeks ago and I was called and told he had not made the team because he couldn't field the ball quickly enough. I had watched him hit line drive after line drive when he was up at bat. I couldn't believe this guy was telling me Michael wasn't good enough to be on the team. I could barely restrain my temper. "If he had a chance to be on a team, he would get better at fielding. It's because he hasn't had the practice doing it, or anybody showing him how, that's the only reason he couldn't throw as far as the other boys, or as fast." I was shaking when I hung up. I was SO upset.

For one of the very few times in my life, I felt deep regret at being a single mom. I cannot teach my son how to throw. I don't know how, and even if I did, I couldn't show him because of my deformed shoulder. Mother and I asked Michael the next morning how he felt about not making the team, and he shrugged and said it didn't matter. He seemed very blase, but I knew he was upset. The second team in a few weeks had rejected him. I asked him if he wanted to go out for pony league [which doesn't require a tryout] and he said no. There's a large church nearby that has a big sports program and their baseball team is highly regarded, but the fees are $165 and I simply don't have it.

I showed Michael this video about an adopted Chinese girl who is a triathlete, and his only remark was "That's cool."

If Michael had a more obvious limb difference I could probably find some grant money somewhere so he could compete in athletic events with other amputees. He wants to compete with folks who have all 4 limbs, though, and in that he will always be seen as not quite good enough.

As much as it hurts to watch Alesia go through the dating rituals, it hurts a lot more to see Michael struggle to compete and find acceptance. I am at a total loss as to what to do.

He loves sports, but at 14, kids in sports now on school teams are so good, he can't compete. Maybe if I'd gotten him started at 5 or 6 it would've made a difference. Then his soccer/baseball/basketball skills might be where they need to be.

His tennis team is practicing now but it's a very young and inexperienced team and I doubt they will have a winning season. I fought hard to make the team a reality, though, so he would have SOME sport he could play.I am the co-captain.

He doesn't like running because after he runs a short while he gets a pain in his chest. I have no idea why. I don't know anything about running. The last time I mentioned it to the doctor, he didn't think it was a big deal.

I bet Mike would be a good golfer, but I can't afford that sport.

He could play on the church basketball team with Colton but Michael says no, he doesn't want to. He's still small for his age and shooting baskets is a challenge, with or without a prosthetic.

I don't want him to give up.

Every time he starts anything new, he wears his prosthetic until the other kids get used to seeing him, then after a time he will go without it and hope they don't comment.

The other day at tennis practice, one of the new players on the team was horsing around and whacked him pretty hard on his left hand. I was so ticked. He has ONE hand, and this kid hit him? His thumb was swollen and red. Then the kids who hit him didn't apologize. I seriously wanted to call the child's mother, but Michael asked me not to. He never wants to feel different or call attention to his missing hand.

Growing up as a fat kid, I totally understand that. I totally sympathize with not wanting to seem different or weird.

I am sort of in a quandary. I am praying about it.

Here he is on the tennis court in September 2008, just a couple of months after he started playing.

Here he is at the Adventure Amputee Camp last summer.

A View from the Bleachers

Beautiful day here, sunny and in the low 60's. I spent the afternoon watching Michael and Colton try out for a baseball team at a park in Decatur. Sitting outside and chatting with my friend Melanie [Colton's aunt] was just delightful.

So hard to believe it's still January, and a couple of weeks ago we were having an ice storm!

I sat in the bleachers this afternoon and watched Michael try out for a baseball team and I thought you rock, my little man, you show 'em what you can do! He hit line drive after line drive and flew from base to base as if on wings. All the grownups on the field running the tryouts were cheering him on - and that was just the tryout! He didn't have the proper headgear or cleats but if he makes the team I'll find a way to buy whatever he needs. I was so proud of him.

This is the part of being a parent of a "special needs" child that is just inexplicable to anyone who hasn't experienced it. The triumph of watching your child do something well that "experts" would say he couldn't do is just so sweet.

I had a parent tell me not long ago "Well, all he can really do is soccer, right, since it doesn't require much with the arms?!" Um, no. I am not forcing Michael to play soccer to meet someone else's definition of what sport he should or shouldn't play. I couldn't find a rec league team close by for him anyway - by 13 or so most kids around here are rabid players, not out there just for fun. Michael is a brilliant tennis player and if given half a chance he will be a wonderful baseball player. He figures out how to do what he WANTS to do - that's what's important. I want him to play sports but I am not going to push him. I think two sports is more than enough.

FYI, he catches the ball in his glove, sticks the glove in his armpit beneath his short arm, pulls the ball out, and throws it. The entire motion takes just a couple of seconds. He figured that out himself.

 

I let Alesia use my car this afternoon and she was very responsible with it. She went to the movies with a friend and then to Chick Fil-A, and then took Michael to Best Buy, late this afternoon. He'd been bugging me about Best Buy and I didn't want to go.

Just when I think she is not going to mature any more anytime soon, Alesia leaps ahead. You go, girl.

This is the only thing Mike bought at Best Buy - a new cap - like he needs another one! LOL

The shirt belongs to Uncle Bruce, BTW...

When it comes to world events I usually figure nothing much is going to affect me directly, but I am concerned about the situation in Egypt. We don't need more instability in that part of the world. I am praying the situation will be resolved peacefully and will not spread instability to the region. We ALL need to pray this will resolve itself in the best way possible for everyone..