The Crab Chronicles

Divided America and Former Friends

I just got a nasty email from a person I thought was a friend of mine, telling me off because we voted differently in the presidential election a few weeks ago. The irony of the email [which she won't ever understand] is that she was denouncing me as being judgmental and yet she was being extremely judgmental.

She said: "It is one thing to have a political opinion and another to show hate, bigotry and derision towards your fellow man." I have never been a hater and I'm not a hater now, but she views me that way.

What she doesn't see is that my choice not to vote for Clinton -- according to her and several other people who have de-friended me on Facebook and in real life -- was my attempt to try and bring about real change in America, not an endorsement of a candidate in the same league as Hitler/the devil/Saddam Hussein, etc. You get the picture.

She views Hillary Clinton as a saint and Donald Trump as a monster. Both are gross distortions.

It saddens me that there are folks who cannot simply say "Hey, I don't agree with you politically but I still like you personally."

There are a number of friends of mine on Facebook who disagree with me when it comes to religion, politics, sports -- all hot-button issues. Yet I don't think they are insane or evil because we don't agree. We simply view the world differently.

I thought once the election was over things would calm down, yet the news media is still stoking the fires of divisiveness, even as they name Trump the Person of the Year over at Time Magazine. The story starts off by hinting heavily that Trump is incapable of understanding working-class people because he's so wealthy. Like Clinton is poor?! According to a story from PBS from last May, Clinton has earned more than $22 million since 2008. It goes on to say:

The Clintons own well-appointed houses in the suburbs of New York and in the nation’s capital. They hold a sole mutual fund worth between $5 million and $25 million. They are regulars at Caribbean resorts and New York’s exclusive Hamptons beachfront.

Hillary Clinton’s three-year speaking tours often came with premium travel – flights on private jets, luxury “presidential” hotel suites and transportation and accommodations for the retinue of loyal aides who traveled with her, according to her contract demands.

Did the Time story mention that? Nope. It implies that Trump was the only wealthy person in the race.

Did I make the right choice in voting for Trump? Maybe. Maybe not. I didn't agree with him 100% and I was appalled by some of the things he said. However, I didn't trust Clinton. As always, I feel like I've voted for the lesser of two evils -- which happens every 4 years.

The guy hasn't even taken office or had the chance to really DO anything, so at this point it's anyone's guess as to whether or not he will lead America back to glory or lead us down the path to hell.

I am sorry that some of my friends have decided I am a horrible person because I didn't vote the same way they did. I don't view them as despicable, or crazy, or deplorable. We just don't agree.

It's so sad to me that the news media, the candidates themselves, so many voices -- have divided us as a nation. We need to come together and get problems solved. If Trump is a terrible president he can be impeached, or voted out.

I pray every day that the leadership of our country will make good choices. I also pray that the president and Congress will make good decisions for us and we will all benefit. If they DO, maybe I will get some of my friends back. I'm not holding my breath, but anything can happen, right?!

 

Protecting Our Girls

The digital age has made it increasingly tough to parent. I read with horror this article a friend posted a link to on Facebook: Sex Before Kissing: How 15 Year Old Girls Are Dealing With Porn-Addicted Boys. I thought/hoped this was a big problem more in Australia than here, because the writer is talking about Australian kids in the article.

However, one of the comments made by another friend on Facebook made it clear this happens here in the US also, which is just awful.

"As someone who taught in CMS for 10 years I cannot tell you how heartbreakingly on point this is. I have taught multiple girls who ended up on sex tapes their first time having sex with someone they thought "cared" about them, girls who believe a blow job or sex really is no big deal with no emotional consequences, girls who had several abortions or miscarriages by the time they were sophomores (that's 15 or 16 years old, people!), and girls who were endlessly harassed with sexual innuendo because of how they were holding a pencil or how they tilted their heads back when they laughed. Girls on my softball team were getting nude photo after nude photo of boys asking them to have sex with them. It breaks my heart to see this and to see so many parents completely oblivious to what their kids are going through on a DAILY basis".

From the article: "Sexual bullying and harassment are part of daily life for many girls growing up as a part of this digital generation. Young girls are speaking out more and more about how these practices have links with pornography—because it’s directly affecting them." / "If there are still any questions about whether porn has an impact on young people’s sexual attitudes and behaviors, perhaps it’s time to listen to young people themselves. Girls and young women describe boys pressuring them to provide acts inspired by the porn they consume routinely. Girls tell of being expected to put up with things they don’t enjoy."

The article reports that very young girls are under terrible pressure to have sex with boys who view them as only objects.

A few years ago I was absolutely stunned when I heard one of my son's friends, who was about 15 years old, had taken a photo of his penis and sent it to a girl he wanted to date. I couldn't believe it, but I know it was true. Nice boy. Nice family. Educated, decent parents. Totally stunned that he would do something like that.

Not long before that, maybe a year or two before, when my daughter was in high school, she told me something that shocked me. She said that during a power outage one of the boys had wanted her to go in the back of a classroom and have sex there. She refused. She was a pretty girl. I thought the boy must have just been some low-life from a terrible home. I was rather shocked he went to that high school though; we bought the house where we live because we had heard that the high school was one of the best in Atlanta. It was, at one time. I wouldn't say that now, unfortunately.

I had totally forgotten about both of those incidents until I read this article and I realized, this sort of bullying of girls by boys DOES happen here in America, every day, and something needs to be done to remedy it.

I don't know what, though.

I'm not an educator and I don't have kids in the public schools any more.

How things have changed. When I was in 9th grade I remember a whispered conversation on the school bus about a girl that had been in middle school in my class and who became pregnant at 14, and dropped out of school. She wasn't a friend. I have no idea what became of her or the baby. I was totally shocked to hear about the pregnancy, though. I didn't know anyone who was having sex with boys as a 14 or 15 year old. All the girls I knew were too busy with school and sports and church activities.

Then again, we didn't have access to thousands of porn videos.

It's shockingly easy for teens to go on porn websites now and see things that would stun most parents. Parents are seldom aware, I don't think, of the dangers of giving kids access to the internet, unchecked. Or perhaps they simply don't think they can really effectively monitor it. Even if your child has no access to porn on his/her devices at home, it's likely some of their friends have parents who don't care. Short of moving to the middle of nowhere, living off the grid where there is no internet or WiFi access, there's probably little that can be done.

People in my kids' age group [15-25] are generally much more immune to being shocked than I was at those ages. Comedies like We're the Millers or Sisters reference sex acts very casually. Sex is everywhere - in jokes [see Trainwreck] outfits on celebrities, TV comedies, movies, YouTube videos. It's EVERYWHERE. It has to be tough for most teens to avoid it, unless they are homeschooled.

So our teens live in a culture where sex is treated so casually, and then we are surprised when it's taken way too far? We shouldn't be.

Remember recently the outrage expressed over Brock Turner? He was convicted of raping an unconscious woman and was given a 3 month sentence. Read this article: Outrage over 6-month sentence for Brock Turner in Stanford rape case.

Turner is a symptom of a much bigger problem.

How do we protect our girls?

My daughter is grown now, and in a relationship. If I had a 15 year old daughter at home, right now, here's what I would do. First, we would have a long discussion or possibly several discussions about not giving in to boys wanting sex and pressuring her to do it. What most 15 year old girls want is love, a real relationship with someone who care about them as a person, not mechanical sex acts.

Secondly, I would do my best to get her into martial arts classes, so she could defend herself against anyone trying to rape her. I would buy her pepper spray to keep in her purse. I would tell her to stop all contact with any boy who sent her a nude photo.

I would also go to the school and RAISE HELL.

Would any of it do any good? I don't know. All I know is this: every parent in America needs to read Sex Before Kissing and find out what's going on with their child[ren] so they can to re-educate the boys about the dangers of porn, and warn the girls and try to help them avoid doing sexual things they don't want to do.

I honestly don't think there is a "safe place" any more, unfortunately. Really, the only way to reverse these dangerous patterns is for parents to really get involved and monitor their kids closely.  Talk to them about what's okay and what's not. Pay attention to what they say. Get them involved in sports and church activities. Keep them busy. Listen without judgment and then get them the help they need, if you find out they are a victim or a victimizer.

I do not want to imagine what will happen if parents DON'T pay attention and reverse this trend.

Brazil Olympics Disaster

Someone asked me the other day if I was watching the Olympics coverage. I'm not. It got me to thinking, why not? When I was a kid I always watched the Olympics. Summer games, winter games - I was glued to the TV. Of course back then we only had three channels, so very little choice in what to watch.

I've never been a fan of hockey but I remember vividly how I felt watching the 1980 hockey game where team USA won, called The Miracle on Ice. I was very proud of our team and proud to be an American. That was the last hockey game I ever watched. It might have something to do with the fact I graduated from high school that year and started college, and life got really busy then - and has stayed busy. Or not. Being a Southerner, hockey just isn't big here. Even our own Atlanta Thrashers eventually gave up and went to Canada, eh.

However, I'm not here to write about hockey.

So far, the Rio Olympics seem to be disastrous.

That makes me angry and sad.

For months we've been seeing news coverage about the zika virus. Back in June, Time magazine wrote Zika Has People Freaked Out About the Olympics But Experts Aren's Worried. Some athletes decided not to go to the Olympics due to health worries.

I was horrified yesterday to see the video of Scary injury: French gymnast Samir Ait Said snaps his leg on vault on Facebook. Hasn't France had enough issues lately?! Sacre bleu!

What horrifies me most, since swimming is the only competitive sport I've ever attempted [4 years on the neighborhood team anyway] is that some athletes are going to be swimming in RAW SEWAGE. What Happens When There's Sewage in the Water?

That article was from back in March. The issue hasn't gotten better.

According to a British article: Rio 2016: Athletes warned to keep mouths closed when swimming in faeces-infested water "Researchers found that many of the beaches in Rio de Janeiro have been long contaminated with raw sewage, household garbage, and even dead bodies, creating hazardous swimming conditions for the 500,000 people expected to descend on the city in August.

“Foreign athletes will literally be swimming in human crap, and they risk getting sick from all those microorganisms,” Rio paediatrician Dr Daniel Becker told the New York Times. “It’s sad but also worrisome.”

UGH.

How desperate are you to win a medal? Desperate enough to swim in poopy water?!? Bumping dead bodies out of the way? Keeping water out of your mouth while swimming in a race isn't really possible. Lots of splashing goes on. I know this from experience.

My family had a speedboat when I was growing up and I remember my disgust sometimes at the dirty water in Lake Loudoun near Knoxville. However, that was was pristine in comparison to Rio.

I do not understand WHY the Olympics people didn't inspect the water and make the Brazilians clean it up! WTH?! They should move to safe, clean waters, and penalize Brazil for this. It's absolutely disgusting and - far worse - a huge health risk. Dang y'all, get it together.

I do not want to watch our athletes, or any athletes, swim in raw sewage. This is ridiculous.

 

above, at the lake with my dad and cousins, abt. 1977

Making the World Better

So much of what we see on the news every day is so negative. I love seeing stories that are more positive - I look for them. I seek out stories with a sense of fairness and justice. We need more of those stories. We need inspiration.

 

Every night before I go to bed I eat a carton of Chobani yogurt. It tastes great and it's high in protein. Mother often eats it for lunch. We buy about 12 cartons of Chobani a week. I love this story: At Chobani, Now It's Not Just the Yogurt That's Rich.

If you don't want to read the whole thing, here's the main point:

"Hamdi Ulukaya, the Turkish immigrant who founded Chobani in 2005, told workers at the company’s plant here in upstate New York that he would be giving them shares worth up to 10 percent of the company when it goes public or is sold. The goal, he said, is to pass along the wealth they have helped build in the decade since the company started. Chobani is now widely considered to be worth several billion dollars."

The employees who have been at Chobani the longest will get the biggest payouts. Oftentimes when a smaller company is sold the person who founded the company makes out like a bandit, but the workers are left in the dust. Not so for Chobani. 

I've worked for big companies whose CEOs were billionaires, while the people who worked hard to keep the company profitable could barely pay their bills. Is that fair? No. I'm not in favor of socialism or communism - I've seen the results of that firsthand. It doesn't work. However, when the inequality of earnings is so stark and unfair as it is at many big companies here, there needs to be a change of some kind.

It's not only about fairness, though. Doing what's right instead of what's easy often pays off in the long run.

I have a cousin who started working at a small company as a secretary when she got out of high school. The owner of the company recognized her intelligence and promoted her, even though she had not gone to college. Skip ahead 20 years. The owner died and the small company - which was still small but now highly profitable - did something extraordinary. He didn't have children to leave the company to, so he left it to his employees. My cousin, who worked there her entire adult life, kept the company thriving and profitable after the original owner died. She retired not too long ago, very comfortably. That's an example of the kind of thinking we need more of in this country.

I remember seeing a story on TV years ago about a Japanese car company that gave out ownership interests to its employees. Once they became vested owners, they worked harder and were happier, and the company thrived.

 

I also love this story: French supermarkets must now donate all unsold food to charity. France is a country that cares deeply about good food, and I love that about it. Now it's mandatory for grocery stores to not waste food. How cool is that?!

Grocery stores throw away tons of food every day here in the USA, and yet there are thousands of hungry people. That bizarre dichotomy is just disturbing to me. If you want to read the sad facts, check out the website Hunger in America. Many people have "food insecurity" in our country. That's just ridiculous, since grocery stores are throwing out food DAILY.

I watched an episode of one of my favorite shows, Bizarre Foods, and this episode, Dumpster Diving in San Francisco, was fascinating. These two young women get food from dumpsters that's perfectly good, perfectly edible, and "cook it for anyone in need."

Why can't that happen everywhere?!?

The Atlanta Community Food Bank is always in need of donations. Why can't they go to Kroger or Publix and get the food that's being thrown out every day? If I were hungry and had no resources I wouldn't mind eating an overripe banana, or some vegetable soup. Once you throw everything in the soup pot and bring it to a boil for a few minutes you've killed any germs. 

Maybe my feelings are this come from the fact that when my son was small, he often went hungry.

Here's a little story about how that still impacts him today.

I put compost in my garden over the winter, and much to my shock, I am now growing potatoes. I would never have even tried to grow potatoes. Michael and I were outside yesterday and I pointed out the potato plants, which are numerous and thriving, just grown from peelings. "I've picked potatoes before, in Kazakhstan," he said quietly. "When you were with your birthmom?" I asked. "I don't know. I just remember picking them. I don't remember details," he said quietly. It was clearly not a memory he treasured, but rather something sad. I know when he was with his birthmom they were often homeless and hungry. He refuses to eat a banana now unless it's so unripe it's green. She would get bananas from the trash and feed them to him when he was small.

The effects of hunger last a long time, physically and emotionally.

When you walk into an orphanage and look into the faces of kids who aren't fed well, and know that many of them are only there because their parents cannot afford to feed them, it changes you. It gives you an incredible sense of the fragility of life.

 

If you know a similar story to these, drop me a comment and let me know. I really want to spread positive stories, and encourage folks to think about justice and fairness - in employment, in food situations - in everything. My dad used to always said to me "Life isn't fair. Better get used to it."

Well I got used to it, but I still don't like it.

Why can't each of us try, in our own small way, to make the world a better place? Maybe if we do that, it will become a reality. Worth a try, right?!

Here's one way you can help. My friend Stephanie, has adopted 13 kids, all special needs. Her son Nate would love a special therapeutic bike. Nate was severely abused in an orphanage before Stephanie and Warren adopted him. He is nonverbal and has huge challenges. This bike would be such a blessing. Check out their Go Fund Me page and help if you can. Thanks!

Catching Up

I just realized I haven't posted all week, and anyone who knows me might be wondering what I've been up to. Life is very busy of late, but in a good way. So here's a rundown of my recent activities, and a few observations.

I hate shopping in malls and even in big stores like Target, so on Monday I did 95% of my Christmas shopping, online. The packages have already started arriving and I've spent a fair amount of time getting things wrapped and under the tree. This always includes a hunt for all the wrapping paper, tissues, and bows from last year. This year it was also vitally important to get presents under the tree because Lola likes to walk under it.

The tree is right in front of french doors in the family room, and Lola's favorite activity is sitting in front of those doors, looking for people walking down the street that she can bark at. One day I heard her barking and went over and Michael was walking in. Lola was directly under the tree and her tail was wagging furiously - and all I could see was the tail in the tree, threatening some glass ornaments with imminent destruction..

Now, there are enough presents that she is not trying to walk directly under the tree any more. I did leave her a spot where she can still sit in front of the french doors and look out at the street.

Last Monday and Tuesday were mainly spent calling every rental car place on this end of town, trying to find Michael a rental car. Since it was the end of the holiday weekend, most places didn't have any economy cars in and it wasn't until late Tuesday afternoon we found Mike a car. It was at a Hertz place in Buckhead. That's about 15-20 minutes from my house. We got there and got him in the car, then had to fight HORRIBLE traffic to get home. Took me 90+ minutes and I had to stop and use the potty at Target. I've not been working an office job in almost a year so I had forgotten the commute ordeal. It was so awful I came home and wrote a short story about it.

Michael's car is a Kia and it's a color the clerk called "gold." I would characterize it more as "burnt pumpkin."

Michael had finals at school on Monday and Wednesday and I helped him study.

The other big thing I accomplished this week was getting Michael registered for next semester. He is again just taking two classes, but he is also working and I don't want him to feel overwhelmed. He's not keen on college, yet, and I keep praying something will ignite a spark in him and make him WANT to learn. He's taking Intro. to Psychology, which is something he's very interested in, and basic Russian. Hopefully he will enjoy both classes.

He decided last night that it would be fun to basically shave his head. Not just a short buzz, SHAVED. Looks like he just started basic training. I argued against it, but he was determined. Told him he will just wind up wearing a lot of HATS all winter..

A Final Thought...

The shooting in California is a tragedy, but unlike most of the politicians I don't think there are any easy solutions. In general, I am against the idea that more gun control is needed. However, I was disgusted by Republicans Block Two Gun Control Measures. If someone is on a terror watch list, of course they shouldn't be able to legally buy guns. Jeez Louise that's a no-brainer. However, the sad situation in our country is that the solutions to mass shootings aren't easy. We need better mental healthcare. We need to involuntarily commit people without the ACLU going nuts about it. We need to restrict radical Muslims from living here, which is very hard to do. We also need to arm ourselves, because criminals and crazy people don't obey gun laws. It's a complex problem.

 

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg

I was reading that the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, is getting ready to donate a lot of money to charity in the coming years. I'm sure this is going to be interesting to watch. The article says that:

"Mr. Zuckerberg and his wife, Dr. Priscilla Chan, said they were forming a new organization, the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, to manage the money, through an unusual limited liability corporate structure. “Our initial areas of focus will be personalized learning, curing disease, connecting people and building strong communities,” they wrote."

I know there will be tons of people clamoring for this money.

I have a proposition, though.

There is one simple way to really ensure that the money will truly impact the future, and it's very simple: give all the money to children and mental health.

No child in America should go to bed hungry. No child should get a substandard education. No child should do without adequate mental health services. No child should get pregnant at 13 or 14 and have a baby that's going to live in poverty and do the same thing in 13 or 14 years.

There are thousands of children in the foster care system in the USA and many of them will grow up to populate our prisons. That cycle needs to end.

Every child that wants to go to college should be able to go, regardless of cost. If they cannot do college work they should get remedial help.

Should the government be doing this, instead of private charities? Sure, but the government is too much about power, and it's utterly corrupt.

If we invest in children, who will shape the future, we invest in ourselves. We invest in our descendants. We put human lives ahead of all else, as it should be.

 

So much of the violence in our society stems from people who are mentally ill, and we have closed down most of the mental hospitals in America. We wonder why there are so many shootings. It's not the guns. It's the mental illness. Sane people do not commit mass shootings. We need treatment options. We need places where people can be put away but treated with compassion -- not the horrors of old-time mental hospitals.

How bad is it? According to Mental Health America:

"The numbers are alarming: Over 42 million adults suffer from a mental health problem, with over eight million reporting suicidal thoughts. Over eight million adults suffer from a mental illness and are uninsured, and one out of every three adults with a disability report inability to see a doctor due to costs. Additionally, over six million children suffer from an Emotional, Behavioral, or Developmental (EBD) problem, and more than eight percent of youth have attempted suicide. Young females are twice as likely to attempt suicide as compared to teenage males, and one out of every three families report that their child’s insurance was inadequate."

 

If we can solve these two problems, Mr. Zuckerberg, or at least make significant inroads, there will be a lot less suffering in America and the future will be much brighter. These problems cannot be fixed with a legislative bandaid, though. We need real help for the long-term.

 

Thanksgiving Drama

Well, my brother came in Wednesday afternoon and we had our big meal Wednesday night, because Michael had to work yesterday. I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

The Thompsons had a small but delightful celebration. All the "big" cooking was done last night because that's when we could all be together. Michael had to work all afternoon today and Bruce had to go home this afternoon and be at work tomorrow morning. So last night was the feast -- steaks, scallops, homemade mashed potatoes, squash casserole, roasted onions/carrots, pecan pie, and Apricot Brandy pound cake. YUM.
Today, Bruce and I went to lunch at Hudson Grille when Michael was working and I had the traditional lunch - salad, turkey, dressing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and apple pie. Bruce had a ginormous burger. We both could only eat a fraction of our food, so we walked out with several takeout boxes and there's enough food left over from my lunch to feed Mother and I dinner -- although I may not eat again until Saturday! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

So last night, after dinner, I was in my bathrobe watching TV and I got a call from a friend, LeeAnn, whose daughter is a friend of Michael's. She had seen Michael standing outside his car in front of the mall and he had been in a wreck. LeeAnn and her wonderful husband picked up Michael and his friend and brought them home.

Michael was turning left and another car came out of nowhere and hit him. He got cited because he was turning, though. He was SO upset. Really really upset. The car wasn't that badly damaged but it had to be towed.

I hope the car can be fixed. We don't need all this extra stress right here at the holidays, but I just keep telling myself it could have been worse.

Michael has final exams Monday. It's his last day of class, though.

Let's hope Christmas will be drama free!

A Rockstar Employee

I read an ad the other day for a “Rockstar profile writer” and I responded to the ad, with great excitement, because it sounded like a terrific job. Writing full-time? Interviewing interesting people? I was practically drooling I was so excited.

It felt really weird. The application asked for links to my best stories and a link to my LinkedIn profile, and a photo. The application didn’t give me a chance to write a normal cover letter or send a resume, which I thought was weird. Then again, I got the impression that the ad was written by someone in their 20’s, or possibly 30’s. I don’t know many millenials who use the word “rockstar.”

The word “rockstar” to me conjures up an image of Jim Morrison, who was the quintessential “rockstar.” His defining characteristic, to me, was that he used a lot of drugs and died young. Was he a genius? Debatable, but probably. I don’t think any employers truly want a “rockstar” – someone who lives fast and furious and burns out.

I think what an employer truly wants is someone who stands out from the crowd by being extremely dedicated to the job, loyal to a fault, and willing to go the extra mile to get things done. What would you call such a person? “Rockstar” seems the opposite of that. “Rockstar” seems to imply youth. Then again the Rolling Stones are bonafide “rockstars” and also grandpas and eligible for social security.

There is a perception in the business world that someone in their 50’s shouldn’t be hired because they will not be as productive as someone younger. I understand that perception. When I was in my 20’s I felt the same way.

Now that I am in my 50’s, though, I see the other side of the coin.

Since I missed the chance to write a real cover letter, I wanted to respond to the ad and explain why I would be the perfect person for the writing position.

What most people don’t realize about being a paralegal is that it develops a lot of skill sets critical to being a good journalist or writer.

RESPONSIBILITIES (what you'll be doing)

Researching and writing original content. I’ve been writing a blog since 2005 and I’ve written more than 3,000 blog entries here at The Crab Chronicles. I’ve also written many articles for online and print publications. Like, hundreds of them. I’ve also written website materials for myself and for a number of lawyers.

Reading background material and preparing interview questions. In my paralegal life, I’ve read literally thousands of pages of depositions and file materials and called and interviewed witnesses. Not once or twice, but literally hundreds of times. I’ve interviewed CEOs of companies, store clerks, and all sorts of folks in between.

Interviewing top business executives. I was an employment law paralegal for 15 years. I’ve interviewed countless business executives – not about fun profiles of them either, about touchy subjects like why they’ve been accused of sexual harassment. If I can handle those interviews I can handle anything.

Crafting catchy headlines. Every time I write a blog headline I keep in mind what search engines will pick up. The first time I read the definition of the term “SEO” [search engine optimization] I laughed because I’d been doing SEO for years already.

Preparing irresistible story ideas. What makes an “irresistible story idea”? Once that’s defined I will be able to take the ball and run with it.

Email intro'ing clients to our photographers. That sounds like standard business correspondence, not anything terribly difficult. If I’m trying to describe the photographer in a positive way, I can do that. It’s like writing a press release.

Interfacing with countless internal cloud-based tools like Slack and Trello. I’ve never used Slack or Trello. However, I just watched several videos about them. I understand why one would use them when employees are scattered around and working from home. Being in the same room with someone and handing them paper? That’s so yesterday. Trello looks like a more evolved version of Outlook, but it looks pretty easy to use.

Editing your colleague's stories. I’ve been editing briefs for lawyers for many years. I’ve also edited website content for lawyers. I’ve edited my mother’s blogs for years now. I’ve edited countless papers for my children, which is why they get good grades in English. Editing is my favorite thing to do, next to writing.

QUALIFICATIONS (skills you should have)

● 3+ years of professional writing experience. I have been a professional writer for more than 6 years and I have a master’s degree in Creative Writing.

● Skilled at writing 2,000 word features and 500 word stories alike. I’ve written two books and I’m working on a third. I’ve written more than 3,000 blogs, most of which are shorter than 500 words.

● Outstanding interview skills. As a paralegal, I interviewed witnesses countless times. I’ve interviewed many people for my blog featured called Twenty Questions. I worked for a newspaper once and got to interview famous people. No sweat. I can interview anyone about anything.

● Terrific researcher and master at LinkedIn and Google advanced searches. I currently work for a publisher and I spend a good deal of time researching. I was researching online starting in 1993, when most of you reading this were in grade school.

● A compulsion for impeccable attention-to-detail. I worked for lawyers for many years. If I had not been detail-oriented I wouldn’t have lasted 6 months as a paralegal.

● Exceptional ability to tell stories. I come from a family of storytellers. I love to tell stories, which is why I love to write. Most of my 3,000+ blogs are my written stories. I’ve also written 2 books and 3 feature-length screenplays, which is taking storytelling to a whole other level.

● Ability to translate complex ideas into simple ones. Talking to legal clients often involves explaining lawsuit complexities in easy-to-digest ways, and I’ve done that countless times. Also, I have read my kids’ school textbooks and explained concepts to them in simplified terms many many times.

● You know how to dive deep into someone's background, cut through the fat & get to the core of what's truly fascinating about them. Yes, I do. I learned this from attorneys, who hate anyone in their office wasting time. Cutting through BS is an important legal office skill.

● Can perform at high-quality under tight deadlines. I’ve done that my entire career.

● Whiz at headline writing and crafting SEO titles. Yep.

● Copy editor extraordinaire. Yep. Lawyers have given me Appeals Court and Supreme Court briefs to edit.

● 100% reliable. Always. I don’t drink, do drugs, smoke or drive anywhere at night, so yeah, this one is covered. I can also supply you with names of former employers who will vouch for me on this one.

● Killer communicator, both written and verbal. Read my blog. Call me.

● Self-directed. I’ve been mostly working from home now for years. My whole life is about being self-directed. I take care of myself, my mom, my son, an old house, my car, my dog, my career - all myself. All the time.

● Can start right away and hit the ground running. I can start on Thanksgiving if necessary. We're eating in the early afternoon and not watching football.

TEN MORE REASONS WHY I WOULD BE AWESOME – yeah, some of these are things you can’t ask me in an interview

1. I am looking for a job where I can stay for the next 10-20 years, not a stepping stone to another job.
2. I write every day, 300-3,000 words, whether I am getting paid or not.
3. I do not have small children at home and there is zero chance I will get pregnant and have to deal with childcare issues.
4. I’m not married and I don’t date so romance will never divert my attention.
5. I hate drama and BS. I will go to great lengths to avoid both.
6. I write every day, 300-3,000 words, whether I am getting paid or not.
7. I may be over 40 but I actually LIKE learning new technology things like Slack and Trello.
8. I have a terrific sense of humor and that often comes through in my writing.
9. You will never find anyone any nicer than me.
10. My threshold for boredom is very low, so I like to stay busy.

From My Resume:

Editorships:

            Assistant Editor The Big Bold Beautiful Blog, June 2011- January 2012

            A Marietta Gal's View (Editor only), July 2009 - present

            Editor, Home Depot legal departmental newsletter, The Legal Eagle, 2005-2006

            Contributing Editor, Chambers Mabry McClelland & Brooks paralegal guide, 1996

 

Blogs: 

The Write Rainmaker [my blog about writing services for small business owners]

The Crab Chronicles [daily blog] Writer and Editor, 2005-present

The Word Ocean devoted to publishing poetry by Southern poets

 

Recent Web Articles:

            A Fun Time At the Boneyard, Atlanta Area Mom’s Blog, 1/16/2015

            What Never to Say to Adoptive Parents, Atlanta Area Moms Blog, 3/10/15

            Ten Tips to Get Your Child to Eat, Atlanta Area Moms Blog, 4/1/15

            Cowgirls, (review), The Edge Atlanta, 5/19/14

            Eric Has Two Mothers, (guest blog), Monday Coffee and Other Stories, 01/29/2014

 

Recent Print Articles:

“Season of Ashes,” in Georgia Backroads Magazine, Fall 2015

Prosthetics: To Wear or Not to Wear,” In Motion magazine September/October 2013, pages 16-17

 

Publications:

            Authored:

Adopting Alesia: My Crusade for My Russian Daughter (nonfiction) Wyatt-MacKenzie Press, June 2009

This is a memoir about my daughter’s adoption from Russia in 2004.

Jack's New Family (Children’s fiction) United Writer’s Press, January 2007

Jack is a 9 year old Russian orphan adopted by a single American Mom. He describes in his own words [in Russian and English text] how it feels to be

adopted and live in America.

Contributed:

Our Day of Passing: An Anthology of Short Stories, Poems and Essays, edited by Ingrid Hall, Summer 2015

My essay about my father’s death, “The Last Gift,” was included in this anthology about death.

Monday Coffee and Other Stories of Mothering Children With Special Needs, edited by Lyn Jones and Liz Whiteacre, (nonfiction), fall 2013

My poem “My Daughter Sings” is included in this anthology of essays and poetry  by moms of special needs kids.

The Divinity of Dogs: True Stories of Miracles Inspired by Man's Best Friend, edited by Jennifer Skiff (nonfiction) Simon and Schuster, October 2012

My story “The dogs that lived outside the orphanage” is included in this collection of true stories.

Snowflakes: A Flurry of Adoption Stories, edited by Teresa Kelleher (nonfiction), Wyatt-MacKenzie Press, November 2009.

My essay “Interesting Connections Observed” was included in this collection of stories and poems by adopted children and parents.

Call Me Okaasan: Adventures in Multicultural Mothering, edited by Suzanne Kamata (nonfiction) Wyatt-MacKenzie Press, May 2009. My essay, “Mothering My Russian-Speaking Children” was included in this collection of essays by mothers living all over the world. The book was named one of The Japan Times’ favorite books of 2009. Call Me Okaasan also won a bronze medal in the 2010 Independent Publisher's Book Awards competition.

Additional Writing (Play Reviews):

Guys and Dolls (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 11/4/13

Stomp (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 9/27/13

The Book Club Play (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 5/21/13

Stacey Todd Holt: from 'Swing' to Lead in 'The Producers' (Interview), The Edge Atlanta, 1/29/13

The Producers (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 1/29/13

Les Miserables (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 4/27/12

Billy Elliott: The Musical, (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 3/15/12

Spaghetti Squash, (Guest Blog), Adoption Under One Roof, 3/6/12

Memphis (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 2/2/12

Divided Among Themselves (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 10/3/11

Come Fly Away (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 8/5/11

A Lady With Whole-Life Swag, (Interview) The Big Bold Beautiful Blog, 8/3/11

Fiddler On the Roof (Review), The Edge Atlanta, 7/22/11

Website publications:

Adoption Under One Roof: Guest Columnist, Cooking With D, (September 2009-May 2011)

Education:

M.A. Creative Writing, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, 3.8 GPA

B.S. Drama, University of Georgia, Athens, 3.42 GPA

Honors:

• Golden Key National Honor Society, inducted 1984
• “The Lost Boy and the Train,” Poem, published in The Phoenix, the University of Tennessee literary magazine, 1990
• Finalist, Atlanta Film Festival Perfect Pitch contest, 2003, for screenplay “The Theory of Hip Movement”

photo by Lisa Amos

Pre-Holiday Rant

I realized just yesterday that Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK. Holy Terduckens Batman! Next week the Christmas madness really kicks into high gear. I don't want to get off on a rant here [in my head I hear Dennis Miller's voice saying that] but we are NOT READY.

We may never be ready, unless I get hold of a truckload of Xanax sometime soon.*

Then again, unlike most people, we stay home and family comes to us, family meaning my brother, who comes in Wednesday night and leaves Thursday afternoon because he has to work Friday. Everyone else - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. - is either dead or not coming to my house, which is fine by me. [Actually, the dead relatives are welcome to come hang out.]

Holidays are still stressful to me, though. Just the thought of the pre-Thanksgiving crowd at Kroger makes me want to run and hide.

So I wanted to just let fly with some rants, for a minute. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

CHRISTMAS MERCHANDISING -- before Halloween was even over I saw Christmas merchandise being stocked at CVS. I hate to sound Scroogey, but that's not about celebrating the birth of Christ, or celebrating family, or whatever noble sentiment one might associate with the holiday. It's about MONEY. Period. It gives me a small bit of satisfaction to picture Jesus with a whip creating havoc in the CVS or the Target or wherever. "And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves." Matthew 21:12

SNARKY VOICEMAIL GREETINGS -- I called someone the other day and had to hear "I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience." Really? So whenever the hell you feel like returning calls, you MIGHT get back to me?! Thanks. That's the verbal equivalent of the bouncer outside a nightclub not letting me in because I'm not pretty enough. My revenge on people who use that "my earliest convenience" phrase is to just not leave any message. I wish I had the guts to say something like "Yes, this is Officer Smith with the State Patrol, just wanted to know we've located your vehicle and I'm afraid it's currently a blazing car-b-que on I-285." 

Father's Talk With Son About Paris Terror Attack --OK, I'm sorry, but I thought the father's response to his child was ridiculous. The bad guys have guns and we have flowers and candles?! The child isn't stupid. He needs reassurance the bad guys won't win. I disagree with people who say how moving this was. It was idiotic. I want to hug that child and say Listen, ISIS won't win because we have BIGGER guns and more people!

SNARKY GUESTS -- Had a guest in the house recently who informed me that the floor in the guest bathroom was really not up to her standards of cleanliness and I needed to get in there with some industrial-type cleaner. I was so stunned, I had no words to reply with, other than "Get the F* out of my house" but that might sound like an over-reaction, so I exercised a tremendous amount of self-control and merely said "Sorry. We can't afford a maid right now."

TURKEY PURISTS -- A friend posted on Facebook that she needed suggestions about cooking Thanksgiving dinner for a huge crowd of people, and I suggested she poach the turkey in the crockpot. You buy a turkey breast and stick it in the crockpot with some herbs and butter, cover it with chicken broth and cook it all day. At the end of the day, you have incredibly moist and delicious turkey. You don't have the Norman Rockwell painting of the perfectly browned bird, no, but you have turkey THAT'S NOT DRY AND TASTELESS! Jeez, let go of the past already.

At my house, we don't eat turkey. Nobody likes it. We make do with a nice beef tenderloin, a couple of side dishes, a cold beer and pumpkin or pecan pie. Then we sit around and talk to each other instead of watching football on TV. Yeah, we're weird. Get over it.

CABLE COMPANIES -- in the recent dustup with Direct TV and Comcast, I informed both companies that I would not respond to any emailed bills, only paper bills. I keep getting emailed bills. I never should have given them my email address. Lesson learned. When they find that I don't pay emailed bills they will call me, of course, and I will tell them politely why my money goes out of here on paper, if I'm asked to pay someone, on paper. Call me a Luddite. I don't care.

PEOPLE WHO IGNORE EMAILS -- If you don't like to write long emails that's fine. Just respond in some way -- one sentence is fine. It lets me know you got the email and read it and you're not lying dead in front of your computer. Complete silence, however, is just rude.

ANTHONY BOURDAIN NEEDS TO CHECK INTO REHAB ALREADY AND SHUT UP! Guy Fieri rocks - Bless his little square peroxided head, he's going verbally toe-to-toe with the giant asshat of the food world, Anthony Bourdain [I think "bourdain" is a French word meaning verbose blithering idiot]. I LOVED reading Guy Fieri Fires Back at Anthony Bourdain: He's Definitely Gotta Have Issues. Um, yes. Bourdain cannot cook. All he can do is criticize. Kudos to Alton Brown, too:

"Alton Brown, a prolific cookbook author and Food Network host, also took issue with Bourdain’s sense of superiority. “When was the last time you saw Anthony Bourdain actually cook anything?” he said. “I’ve spent 14 years cooking my own food on television and I’ve never seen him cook a meal.” - People

 

*to any potential employers: I don't take Xanax. Never have. Never will. When I get stressed out I just go in the bathroom and cry for a while, then reach for the peanut M&Ms, not drugs or alcohol.

The Golden Rule of Fashion

I have lived long enough to be able to see that fashions go in cycles. I've personally seen peasant blouses that were popular in the 1970's come back in style. Also ponchos - I had one as a kid in the 1970's, then around 2004 they were popular again for a minute. Ditto for boots, which are again popular.

I could not care less about clothes. However, I am endlessly fascinated by home decor.

I watch a lot of HGTV and I am amused to see home furnishings going in and out of popularity. Granite countertops are so 5 minutes ago, for instance.

Subway tile backsplashes are still hot.

Wallpaper borders are "dated."

"Mid century modern" is what I would call "old 1950's stuff." Ugh. Not to my liking.

If I hear the phrases "pop of color" or "wow factor" ever again I may throw something at the TV.

I was delighted the other day to hear a guy looking for houses on an HGTV show say "I don't LIKE open concept." YOU ROCK, MY MAN!

What made me think of this was a link on Facebook to this Wall Street Journal article Decorating With Teal, the Color People Love to Hate. The example photo comes from the home of author Mary Kay Andrews [aka Mathy Hogan Trochek], an author I like a lot.

"Novelist Kathy Hogan Trocheck embraced the teal-painted porch floors left by the owner of a cottage she and her husband bought in Georgia two years ago (“It feels like you’re walking in the Caribbean,” she said). But the porch dining area is otherwise furnished in neutrals and only touches of color."

Who owns that cottage with the teal floor?! The photos of the cottage I've seen, from her owner's Facebook page, show a charming place, decorated eclectically but very attractively. (MKA owns two Tybee Island beach rentals, The Breeze Inn and Ebbtide and both are quite attractive.)

What infuriates me about the article is that it's undermining everything I feel to be true about home decor and fashion, in general. Why should anyone tell anyone else how to decorate? It's ridiculous. If everyone had the same taste, what a boring world we'd have.

Here's Dee's Gold Rule of Fashion:

WEAR WHATEVER YOU LIKE and DECORATE YOUR HOUSE WHATEVER WAY YOU LIKE

You have to live inside your skin and inside your house. If you like to wear clothing considered "out of style" go ahead. Wear it proudly. WHO CARES what other people think?! They aren't YOU. Ditto for your house. YOU are the one living in it.

My kitchen countertops are terra cotta tile. Any decorator would be horrified by them. I love them. Not keen on the colors, but the fact that I can take a dish right out of the oven and set it on the counter without a trivet is WONDERFUL.

I am always amused/appalled by people who hire decorators. They then pay a lot more than necessary because that decorator has to get their commission. Why not just go out and look around and buy what YOU like?!

I have a friend who is fond of buying dark oil portraits of long-dead people not related to her in any way, and putting groupings of 3-6 of them on the walls. I would not want them on my walls, but she likes them.

I have a relative whose living room has 10 different patterns of fabric in it. Not my taste, but so what?! It's HER living room.

Over and over on the HGTV shows, I see the "after" walls painted some icky neutral color, no curtains on the windows, and one pathetic little sofa pillow the only "pop of color" in the entire room. Well if you're trying to sell a house, fine. Be as bland and boring as possible because most people FEAR strong color. Sell that beige house.

One of the joys of my life was buying a condo and realizing I could paint the walls any color I liked, and put down blue carpet, and once I got through, my little condo was beautiful. I eventually painted the walls of my bedroom deep pink, and my tiny kitchen walls pale purple. It was MY home. Then I tried to sell it, and no offers came in. I finally, reluctantly, had all the walls painted "eggshell." By then I was living in my house. I never got the condo sold, but I got a renter in there. I may one day move back to the condo, and I hope I will be able to afford to re-carpet and re-paint.

below, the condo before I moved out