The Crab Chronicles

Connections

I was thinking yesterday about connections, and today I hear that a cousin of mine has died. I didn't really know her too well, but I am praying for the family. I have a huge extended family, because all of my grandparents had between 8 and 12 siblings, most of whom grew up and had children.

My cousin Warren is my 4th cousin, I think. We have to go back 4 generations to find the common ancestor, who died decades before either of us were born.

Doesn't matter. I cherish Warren and Kim. I feel closer to them than some of my family I am closer to by blood.

I used to be very interested in family genealogy and I have charts of all my cousins and grandparents and great-grandparents. I love charts.

Too bad all of life can't be neatly organized in charts.

[OTOH, I despise spreadsheets. I can make them, and use them, but Excel is not as user-friendly as a good old-fashioned chart, IMHO.]

I also heard from an old friend of mine from Home Depot days, and rejoiced in the fact she is doing very well and is not far from me, working in downtown. Hopefully we can have lunch one day.

Michael heard yesterday that he has passed the CRCT, so his standardized test scores were OK and he can pass on to 9th grade in peace, thanks be to God. He feels like he is going to pass Math, too, thank goodness. His attitude and demeanor are totally altered, much for the better.

We had a frittata for dinner, loaded with veggies and cheese, very filling, and some homemade applesauce I made on Sunday. He ate good portions of both. An hour later he said "Do we have anything to eat?!"

Yep, he's growing! Had shot up half an inch the other day when measured. Thanks for the growing prayers. Keep 'em going. We'll buy more groceries.

I feel a lot of support from other adoptive moms out there. We are all connected in such a profound way. I am always enlightened, inspired, and even left in tears by the blogs I read every day, those of my friend Cindy B, Cindy L, and Stephanie. There are others I read weekly, too - too many to list here.

A friend of mine has been texting Alesia, thanks be to God. I know she's alive. She's not speaking/texting to me right now. I keep praying for her, though, many times a day.

Despite the fact that I don't have much time to socialize, I feel very connected to a huge community of friends, cousins, neighbors, etc.

Some people say computers are a bad thing, but I totally disagree. Facebook is like a virtual cocktail party, with everyone chattering about this or that, some things profound, some trivial. Nevertheless, it provides a sense of community, and people crave that.

I don't really know more news. Hope everyone has a blessed Tuesday!

Spring Stress

Yesterday was a really stressful day, for a variety of reasons, and by the end of it I was craving a big 'ol barcalounger and chocolate. Can't really blog about all the stressors, but they are similar to what most everyone faces.

At the end of the day I had myself a good cry. Then I was able to make dinner, and soldier on. Mother talked me through it.

There are people who wonder how I can live with my mother. Two women in a house can be difficult, especially when the ladies involved are as independent and opinionated as me and Mother. However, when I am blue she comforts me, and vice versa. I dread the day when I lose her.

Being a single working mom and a caretaker for a teenager, senior, a fragile dog, an old house, and two cars, is stressful. Sometimes the stress feels overwhelming.

Included in the stress is sadness. Sometimes forwarded emails form old friends can be very hard to read. I heard last night about a lady I knew years ago, whose husband worked with my dad. "M" has brain cancer, and it's inoperable. She is being taken home from the hospital and will likely not be with us much longer. So sad to hear that, as she is a very funny, smart, vibrant person, a teacher. She is just a little older than my brother, and is way too young to be taken by cancer. I feel so sorry for her children, even though they are grown.(If you are a person of faith, please say a prayer for "M" and her family)

I know what it feels like to lose a parent to cancer. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.

Today, I decided to be nice to myself all day. I'm not going to say or do anything negative. I am even going to try very hard not to think any negative thoughts. So far, so good - but I have yet to eat breakfast.LOL

My friend Elizabeth's blog, with its gorgeous photos, was a balm to my eyes this morning. I wish I could visit Cornwall, England, where she lives. Her photos of it are just beautiful.

It's the first day of spring. I am going to try and ignore the horrible pollen everywhere.

My Soapbox

Seldom does news reporting bother me much, if at all, but in the past few days I've read several stories about the US soldiers and the dead Taliban and I am furious.

For those of you not in the know, there's a video that's gone viral of US Marines peeing on dead Taliban fighters.

This story says "The Taliban, who have made recent moves to talk an end to the war, described the apparent abuse as "an inhumane and savage act by the American soldiers in Afghanistan."

Really?

I don't think the words "inhumane and savage" are appropriate at all. They are ridiculous. We're talking about dead bodies. The Taliban are "inhumane and savage" to living humans.

A quick search of the terms "Taliban atrocities" turned up this article from 2001. Here are some of the things the Taliban have done, to living people:

"The Taliban killed eight boys who laughed at soldiers, burned an entire family alive, and killed 100 Afghans and hung their bodies from lamp posts to warn would-be defectors.The report also includes allegations of atrocities dating back to September 1996, when the Taliban captured Afghanistan's capital city of Kabul, castrated the country's president and killed and tortured his brother, according to the U.S. Department of Defense."

The Taliban hates women. According to this article "Women have been forced to wear head-to-toe burqas, and those stepping outside their homes without one have been beaten with whips. The Taliban have shut down schools for girls and forbidden women from working."

They seem to be determined to make everyone suffer. "The regime has banned makeup, music, dancing and other recreational activities, sometimes using executions and hand or foot amputations as punishment."

An organization called RAWA is trying to help.  "RAWA represents everything that the fundamentalist Taliban regime hates. Founded in Kabul, Afghanistan, in 1977 as a feminist organization, RAWA began exposing excesses committed by warring factions that arose after the collapse of the Soviet-backed regime in 1992 and then by the Taliban, which seized power in Kabul in 1996."

A 2010 Time magazine cover showed a woman whose nose and ears were cut off, thanks to the Taliban.

"Our cover image this week is powerful, shocking and disturbing. It is a portrait of Aisha, a shy 18-year-old Afghan woman who was sentenced by a Taliban commander to have her nose and ears cut off for fleeing her abusive in-laws. Aisha posed for the picture and says she wants the world to see the effect a Taliban resurgence would have on the women of Afghanistan, many of whom have flourished in the past few years."

These are living, breathing human beings who are suffering every day, from the nightmare of Taliban rule.

Those marines who peed on the dead Taliban soldiers are heroes, in my book.

Shakin' It Early

OK, I have finally come up with a way to exercise so I'm not bored out of my mind. I get up every morning and throw on some shorts and a tee shirt and dance for 20 minutes.

Yes, the floors can take it. They're solid.

I was looking for some music to rip, so I could listen to it while dancing, and I found an old CD I had bought in the bargain bin a few years ago. I played an old song that really made me want to get up and dance - Baby Love by Mother's Finest. I remember seeing them at the fair in Knoxville years ago and they were awesome. I do not know how anyone could listen to that and not want to dance.

Another song I love is September, by Earth Wind & Fire. This was popular when I was in high school. It's still being enjoyed, like in the movie Night at the Museum. It's a classic.

If you are trying to get into the groove in the new year, I urge you to find some good dance music and just dance around your house. So what if you jiggle? So what if you aren't a great dancer? If you're at home doing your own thing nobody will see.

I just try to work up a good sweat before I jump in the shower.

If you prefer more contemporary stuff, here are a few of my faves, thanks so Michael's influence:

Mercy, by Duffy

Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera

Pumped Up Kicks, by Foster the People

Women's Rights in the World

How is it possible that it's almost 2012, and yet around the world women are still being treated as less valuable than men?

A woman in Saudi Arabia was beheaded on Monday because the government said she was a sorceress. I bet she wished she lived somewhere else. In that country, 30% of all women are illiterate. Only 5% hold jobs outside the home. According to a recent PBS article:

"Saudi Arabia is known for having some of the strictest laws in the world limiting women’s rights. Many women follow a strict dress code that requires them to cover their hair and faces, and most are not permitted to drive cars or travel without a male chaperone."

That poor woman was essentially punished by death for being a witch. A WITCH. In 2012. We stopped hanging witches here in America, oh, more than three hundred years ago. Hello?!

In India, according to this story, a million female babies are aborted every year, simply because they are female. That video is truly shocking. Even though the tradition of paying dowries is illegal, most families still do it. So a girl will cost a family a lot of dowry money, but a boy will bring in the money when he marries. So many female babies have been aborted or outright killed, that there is a huge shortage of women in India now.

Around the world, women are treated horribly simply because they are women.

What really amazes me is that female babies are being killed in a country headed by a woman. India's president is a female.

And I worry because America is behind the times by not having a female president. In Germany, Angela Merkel is chancellor. She has a Ph.D. in Physics. Even Pakistan, which is not particularly accepting of women's rights, had a female president in recent years, Benazir Bhutto.

But back to my original thesis.

So how is it possible that women are still facing terrible discrimination all over the world, in 2012? I found an interesting site, Women's Rights Worldwide. They noted:

Men, being physically stronger than women (in general), have exploited this advantage over the centuries to mold societies, religions, and traditions which are, in many cases, advantageous and convenient for men, but oppressive and abusive to women. Let us expose these inequities for what they are and begin the process of restoring fairness to all societies.

The best way to do that is through education.

According to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan: “No tool for development is more effective than the empowerment of women.”

The depressing thing is that my daughter has quit high school and is now living with a man who she says supports her. She doesn't go to school. She doesn't work. She doesn't have a computer. The last time I tried to talk to her about getting her GED, she just blew it off, "I'm still young. I have plenty of time," she said blithely.

If you're the mother of a girl, talk to her. Tell her how fortunate she is to live in America, where a woman can drive a car, or vote, or walk down the street without an escort, without being covered head to toe in a black veil. Tell her to get an education. Tell her to never, ever, depend solely on a man for support.

Work for women's rights. Start with your daughter.