The Crab Chronicles

Mental Pause Day

Note: there's an old joke about a little boy asking his mother if she was having "mental pause." That's sort of accurate...

It has been such a long, yucky day. I was awakened 3 times last night with a headache. I had to toss down Motrin to get any sleep. Today I’ve had the headache off and on all day, plus just been really weak and lethargic. I think it’s all hormonal menopausal misery.

There were some things I had to do today. I had promised Alesia a trip to Kohl’s to get some new jeans. I gave her a price limit of $40 and she was able to get jeans and a cute new shirt. I like the Goodwill prices better.

I had promised Michael a new pair of tennis shoes. He can’t wear his heelys and his shoes from last year have a big hole in them. We found him some funky looking decorated tennis shoes that look sort of like the old Keds I wore as a kid. Alesia and I both tried to talk him into some Nike’s which were only a little more, and he wouldn’t budge. I hope the shoes can stand up to tennis, walking home, etc.

I felt so miserable after lunch that I couldn’t think what to do. I finally proposed a movie, and we saw Tropic Thunder. It was very funny. I know some people are upset about the film but I really didn’t think it was offensive – it’s just a parody of Hollyweird stupidity. Once you realize that, it’s funny. I wrote up a short review for my Scribblerchick’s Movie Dish.

Alesia’s IEP meeting is in the morning, early. I hope and pray I feel a whole lot better.

Cranky People

Well, yesterday was a day from hell, I now realize. After almost no sleep Saturday night, we were all cranky. I think I mentioned that yesterday. Maybe I should have said we were ALL REALLY REALLY CRANKY!! Like, bite your head off kinda cranky.

After lunch, I had a nap. I needed that nap. The house wasn't cooled down, but I was about to drop.

I cut my nap short, however, to take the kids to see the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight.

Before I say anything else, let me just state for the record, I HATED The Dark Knight. I can't post a review because it would be too much - too many capital letters and exclamation points. I didn't really want to see it, but the kids did. In hindsight, I should have kept napping. It's extremely violent. The car crashes and scenes of breaking glass and people leaping off buildings finally just got boringly repetitive. How many times can you watch something explode?! There was almost no actual dialogue. The dialogue that was there was mostly just stuff like "Sometimes the truth just isn't enough." Huh? Plus, I really got lost in the overly elaborate plot, too. I've said before, I don't want to see a movie where I feel compelled to take notes. I also was irked that Rachel was played by Maggie Gyllenhall, who is not attractive and has a high, icky voice. Then there was Heath Ledger - I can see why that part drove him over the edge. He was basically playing Satan.

Of course, all this could be colored by the fact I was sleep deprived and extremely cranky.

We went to Kroger afterwards, around 7 p.m. By then the boiling hot sun was going down and it wasn't too too miserable. However, Alesia kept saying snotty little remarks, and she had Michael doing it, too. He has always been a sweet boy, and it was horrifying to see him aping her. I finally just lost it. Right there in the middle of the aisle, I was glaring and hissing at them both "You are getting on MY LAST NERVE! You both need to SHUT UP or I am going to lose it and scream at you, right here!!" Alesia was able to stay quiet for all of 3 seconds before making some flippant remark. I almost blew my cool and slapped her. I came close. I scared myself. She will do this over and over - goad me into getting really angry, and I have to physically stop myself from slapping her. If I tell her how mad she has made me, she will retort "Why don't you go ahead and HIT ME?! Others have hit me!" I always reply that I do not hit my children.

I sent a long and anguished email to the therapist this morning, going into more detail. I hope she can help us. She has been out of town for several weeks but is due back today.

I was telling a friend here at work about it, and she remarked that with Alesia, I get all the normal teenaged angst, and then some extra. That's true. I don't think childhood trauma should excuse rudeness, though. I have known people with teenagers who just let them talk ugly and disrespectfully to them, and I told the therapist at the first visit, I simply don't allow it. I don't allow attitude and rudeness. Nor should any parent. If we don't teach them how to have good personal relationships, who will?

On the way to our house we saw two more houses with huge trees smashed into them. That makes 4 trees within a half mile of us that smashed onto houses. One house had an entire set of rooms smashed to bits. It's like something from a war zone. The local news didn't even cover it, either.

So, today has been better, just from the standpoint of being able to come to work and escape cranky people, including myself.

Beware of Granite

I got up and watered outside, and it wasn’t at all hot. In fact, it was kind of overcast, and I was briefly hoping for rain, but none came.

We spent a rather leisurely morning, and then went to Sports Authority. For some unknown reason, Alesia was in a mood. She needs a new bike helmet, but got upset when I told her I wouldn’t pay more than $30 for one. This is like her third one in 4 years. They aren’t cheap.

Mike’s tennis coach said he should start using a grownup racket, so I found a good Wilson on sale for $54, which was a bargain. I now have two nice, barely used junior rackets which we can’t use any more. [Email me if you want to buy them…]

We get out to the car and I told Alesia to put the bag in the trunk, which she does, and then she SLAMS down the trunk lid, missing Michael’s fingers by a hair. She didn’t even look before slamming it shut. We’ve warned her about slamming things in cars and doing damage. So, I tried to control my temper in the car, but I scolded her. She immediately reverted to “I don’t care” mode, further ticking me off. I canceled a planned trip to Target, and we went home.

Mother and I tried to talk to her about her behavior but she barely cooperated. She acted completely unapologetic. I pointed out if she had slammed the trunk on Mike’s fingers she would have cut them off, thus ruining the one good hand he has. She acted like “No big deal.” It’s the inability to admit she does something wrong, or to say she’s sorry, that just ticks me off every time.

It really stung when Alesia said she wished I would spend LESS time with her and Michael. She doesn’t want me to pay attention to her or spend time with her. She wants to be left ALONE, she stated. I pointed out that since I work full-time, I reserve my weekends and evenings to spend with my children. That doesn’t mean she can’t see her friends.

A short time later, we were in the car getting sandwiches at Jersey Mike’s, and I suggested she call Elena about spending some time at the pool. So Alesia spent all afternoon with Elena at the pool. She was in a much better mood later.

Alesia still has no idea how to handle her emotions, and there are a lot of frayed nerves, I see. Feeling and expressing anger or sadness, not bottling everything up, is new for her, and I'm sure it's scary.

Michael and I relaxed for part of the afternoon, then ran errands. We hit the fish market and produce stand, then came home and unloaded, then went back to Kroger.

Michael was complaining about the heat at the produce stand, and the guy who sold me our fruits and veggies offered him an orange or an apple, out of the blue. Nice young man. I think he was impressed that I was driving my brother’s big, loud truck. Looks pretty cool until you see this fat, sweaty, grey-haired woman practically fall out, then have to heave herself back in. It’s not a pretty sight.

Mike got the free piece of fruit due entirely to the power of his cuteness, I am convinced.

After we got home from Kroger and unloaded the groceries, I was too tired to cook. So dinner was “fallout.” That means, everyone opens the fridge to see what will fall out, that they can eat. Mother had leftover beef stew. I had a hot dog and sun chips.

Michael and Alesia fixed their favorite wraps. This was comical to watch. They take large tortillas, spread them with mayonnaise, add ham or other lunch meat, plus diced tomatoes, and cabbage and pickles. Yep, cabbage. They love it. It’s a Russian thing, I think. Pretty nutritious sandwich, though. Michael’s wrap was more like a foldover and watching him eat was comical. His wrap kept dripping.

Alesia’s wrap was perfectly done, and any excess tortilla pieces were carefully trimmed and fed to Coco. Coco will bite like a piranha for tortilla scraps, I learned.

Our movie tonight was an old thriller, The Jackal, with Bruce Willis playing an international assassin. Alesia and Michael kept being amused by his many disguises and changed hairstyles and colors. Alesia would exclaim “Look, now he looks like Steve Martin!” then “Now he looks like Uncle Bruce!” and “Now he looks like and old guy!”

Michael spotted a booby trap in one scene and solemnly informed us he had found the “granite.” We had no idea what that meant. We played back the DVD and he pointed to a grenade. The two words are close...

Obsessed, That's Me

Two days ago I had a freaky, Oh My God what's happening? kind of moment on my way home. I get on 75 heading south towards downtown and I notice there are no cars on 75 northbound. None. For miles. I am so startled. I drive and drive, and try not to wreck while I rubberneck over to the northbound lanes.Finally, I see a police barricade holding back the northbound traffic. It's a parking lot over there.

I call my friend Brian, who is an event planner and knows all. "The president is in town," he informs me. Then today, I perused my favorite news site, Oddly Enough [weird news and photos and funny captions, what's not to love?!] and found this: http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/2008/07/24/whered-you-get-the-turkey-leg-mr-president/. So the pres was here! I believed Brian, but the photo of W at Dobbins Air Force Base was still a teeny weeny bit thrilling. I work very near Dobbins.

It's almost as good as the day I ate lunch near Evander Holyfield. I walked right behind him coming back from the bathroom! He's not very tall. [No, I didn't follow him to the bathroom, I'm not that weird.]

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We had an interesting morning. Here's what I reported to my brother:

Since Mike had that bad episode last week where his arm was burning and he had to sleep with an ice pack, I wanted to get him in to see a specialist. Colleen arranged for us to see Dr. Allan Peljovich, over at Northside, who specializes in hands and lower extremities.

Dr. Peljovich was very nice, and very kind to Michael. He took an x-ray. There is no overgrowth of any size to warrant surgery and he likely will never need surgery – only about 5-10% of child amputees ever do. Dr. P said the pain occasionally and burning feelings occasionally were normal.

There is also some phantom pain and sensation in the missing hand and fingers, which Michael had never admitted to me before. Dr. P told Mike that’s totally normal and nothing to get freaked out about or worry about. He seemed relieved to hear that. He told me in the car later that the phantom feelings are sort of scary. Dr. P said the brain just doesn’t realize the hand is gone. I told Mike I had heard of that, about phantom pain in missing limbs, and it’s normal.

Dr. P also said to pay attention and when there is pain or burning or itching, to think carefully about what was happening a day or so before that, to try and know what actions to avoid. He said Mike can do anything he wants with the short arm, though, as long as it doesn’t hurt. That’s good because he uses it to get more power in his backhand when playing tennis. [There has been no pain or burning since he started playing tennis a lot, though.]

He didn’t think a followup visit was necessary. We can just go back if there is a big issue.

The only awkward time was when the nurse was taking the medical history. She asked me what information I have about his mother and father and I said I have none. I also don’t have any medical to speak of, except for some notes in Russian in a little booklet. She also asked me about the accident which caused the amputation – even though I had written out an explanation which was perfectly clear. I think with any new doctor we see from now on I am going to ask them to talk to me privately about the history. Michael looked really unhappy when she was asking me about it.

When we were going home in the car I told Mike he needs to help Alesia this afternoon to get the house straightened up before Lesleigh comes over, and he sighed and looked at me and said “Lesleigh is family. Why are you so OBSESSED with the house, Mom?!” LOL

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I wrote up a review of The Great Debaters and it's here:

http://deescribbler.typepad.com/flick_pages/

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I just read that the water advisory was canceled. Woo hoo!! We'll be drinkin' some H2O tonight!!

Storms in Georgia

We had a terrific thunderstorm last night. We lost electricity for about 15 minutes. Michael was having fun running around with the huge industrial type flashlight he got from Uncle Bruce. We took the pork roast out of the electric oven and put it in the gas oven. We gathered up candles.

Fortunately, the power came back on. No major damage to anything I could see.

When the storm was pounding us, I went out to the front porch and sat there for a little while with Alesia, watching it. We watched the sheets of rain pour down the hill across the street and move down to our yard. The yard was covered in pine cones. I told Alesia her Grandpa Tony [my dad] loved to watch a good thunderstorm - from the safety of a porch, of course.

The nice thing is we got some badly needed RAIN. It was 95 yesterday. My plants were all wilting, big time.

Our movie last night was The Great Debaters, about a small black college debate team that went up against Harvard in 1935. It was a terrific film. It opened up several discussions with the kids about  racism,  debate, civil disobedience - all great topics. It was a history lesson, but well acted and engaging. Denzel Washington directed and starred. I highly recommend it.

I finally got a minute to download Michael's birthday photos. They didn't come out too well, alas. It was morning in the dining room, which meant everything was flooded with light and we looked like washed out ghosts.

Seeking Help and Healing

I talked to Colleen, Michael's therapist, about the burning sensation he was having. [He is not still having it today.] She is going to try and get him an appointment with a specialist in upper extremity and hand issues. I never knew there was such a thing. I'm happy to hear it, though.

I found an article that explains what may be happening, and here's the link: http://www.amputee-coalition.org/inmotion/may_jun_06/congenital_part3.html. Scroll down to the sub topic How Often Will My Child Need a New Prosthesis. It talks about bone overgrowth, which is what I am fearing is happening with Michael.

It was kind of Colleen to reassure me that if Michael does have this, that the surgery to correct it is outpatient surgery. I was afraid it was going to be some long ordeal.

On a happier note, I ordered Michael an ice cream cake from Bruster's, and got him a balloon for his birthday. We finished wrapping the presents last night. I so hope he will have a happy birthday tomorrow. I am not trying to have a party. We are scheduled to go bowling with some friends, though. We are going out to lunch, too.

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We watched the movie Ordinary People [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinary_People] last night. I remember seeing it when it came out in 1981 and being totally blown away by how realistic it was, and amazed at the performance of Timothy Hutton. It's the only really excellent film I could think of about a teenager seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. I wanted to see what Alesia's reactions were to the film. She got very into it, probably because it's about a teenager. I did a quick google search just now and found where using this film as a teaching tool is not just my idea, it's been used by the American Psychiatric Foundation. http://ap.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/23/3/174

I wanted Alesia to care about the main character and watch as he heals with the help of a good therapist. Yes, it's a work of fiction, but it's also very realistic. It's easy to care about the characters.

Alesia always makes comments when she's watching a film, and they can be very telling. For instance, last night at one point the teenager had an emotional breakthrough and was sobbing and Alesia said softly "He needs a hug!" - and just then the psychiatrist hugged him. At another point she got very angry, because the mother in the film, brilliantly played by Mary Tyler Moore, is so cold and distant with her son.

I feel so strongly that movies are a fabulous way to teach kids without them knowing they are learning. I wanted Alesia to see how recalling the trauma would cause the boy to be able to process it and move forward. During the pivotal scene of that, I said softly, "See, he's finally able to remember and feel sad."

If nothing else, I hope it makes her think. Comparing her own past to what she saw, and empathizing with the boy, might help get her started on the road to recalling her feelings and processing them.

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As most of you know, I wear almost nothing on my feet but Crocs, the ugly but comfortable shoes which I fell in love with several years ago. They are the only shoes which feel good on my hobbit-like feet. I was absolutely delighted to see that Crocs fever has spread to the highest echelons of society. I think I will see if I can find a photo of McCain or Obama wearing Crocs - whoever wears them in public, that's who I'll vote for. LOL

Happy Birthday to Me

We have had a really nice, laid-back day. I don’t know when I’ve had a better birthday.

It began with a phonecall from my brother in Iraq, which was a great treat. It was only the 2^nd time we’ve been able to talk by phone since he left in February. He sounded good. There was a 5 second or so delay in hearing him, which was surprisingly awkward. The call was bouncing around a bunch of satellites, though, I’m sure. He sounded in good spirits, which is what’s important.

We went to IHOP for breakfast. The waiter was a small chubby white guy, and he wasn’t Mr. Personality. Right after we got there, I noticed all the other wait staff had cute little hats or necklaces or something on that was red white and blue, little cute party favor looking things. So I said to our waiter, “Where’s your cute necklace?" He gave me a disgusted look, said “Oops, forgot it!” in a very dry voice, and I almost laughed.It was much more funny when I told the story to Lesleigh later.

The kids went to the pool for a couple of hours this afternoon, which was great. It gave me some time to visit with Mother, free from interruptions. When the kids are around that’s hard to do.

While Mother napped this afternoon I took the kids and Lesleigh met us at the movies and we saw Hancock, the new Will Smith movie. I knew vaguely that it was about some superhero who looks like a homeless person, but that was all. It turned out to have a really riveting storyline. It was very archetypal. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it, but it was excellent. Will Smith was playing a moody introvert, totally opposite of his usually affable hero type, and he was amazing. Go see it.

We had honeybaked ham, broccoli salad, rolls, and fruit salad for dinner. Yummy!

After dinner I grabbed Les and the kids and we headed up to Decatur to watch fireworks. I had heard for years that they have a great show, but never wanted to deal with the crowds and parking. Turns out, we parked about 4 blocks away but it was an easy walk, and the crowds were very mellow. We people watched and sipped decaf cappuccinos from Starbucks [Michael was thrilled] while waiting for the show to start. The fireworks were MAGNIFICENT. I have seen a lot of fireworks, and I almost didn’t go, but I’m glad I went. Michael was captivated. Alesia enjoyed them, too, but she wasn’t spellbound.

There were a couple of tense moments, when Michael darted away from me, and I sort of panicked.  We will have to work on behavior when out in a crowd. At one point he said to me “You’re really uptight, you know?!”

While we were watching fireworks I noticed a nice looking young man standing near us, and he and Lesleigh chatted. We kept thinking the fireworks were over, and then another round would get fired off. I could feel some of the vibrations in my sternum, which was really eerie.

Anyway, Lesleigh was teasing me and saying, “Wow, everyone celebrated your birthday, Dee!” and the young man congratulated me on my birthday. After the show ended, I introduced myself and shook his hand. He said he would like to sing Happy Birthday to me, so I said OK. He has a beautiful, trained voice. He sang it in Italian! I think he learned it phonetically, because afterwards I thanked him in Italian and he looked sort of blank. He was a sweetie, though. Gave me his card – he works for a singing telegram company!

After I saw that I started singing God Bless America, and he joined me! It was fun. After we finished, there was some applause - probably from the folks who were more interested in drinking beer than in hustling the family out of there. LOL

Altogether a great day!

A Hatchet Job

I knew when I was writing yesterday's post that I was leaving out important Daddy-isms, and Mother reminded me of one last night.

If that ain't good, grits ain't groceries!

That usually came out when he was eating something particularly delicious. Often, it was somethnig he cooked for himself, or I should probably say grilled, since that was what he mostly cooked.

I have been longing lately for more fish. The kids like it, I like every kind of fish and seafood, and we used to eat it 2-3 times a week. We only stopped because I saw a report on TV about how imported fish aren't inspected, and are sometimes bred in filthy ponds and have all sorts of diseases. Yuck! So we stopped buying tilapia and shrimp and salmon and all that great stuff.

We recently found a place close to the house called Southern Seafood. It's a fish market; that's all they sell. Everyone in there is a tiny Chinese person, and only the people behind the counter speak English. The seafood is awesome - it doesn't taste like it's full of chemicals, like the stuff from the grocery stores.

Mike and I went in there the other night and bought 2 lbs. of beautiful, big shrimp, scallops, and salmon for grilling. We had the shrimp just sautéed in butter and garlic and lemon, the other night. Last night, I cooked the scallops. I sauteed onions and some slivers of green pepper [from our garden!] with lots of fresh ground pepper, in olive oil and a little bacon fat. I then threw in the scallops and seared them on high heat, turning constantly. Next I added in heavy cream with fresh garlic, basil, and a little butter - yummy! Even Mike tried one and said he liked it. Thanks be to God we aren't on a low fat diet. LOL

Our movie last night was the biogrphical film about Muhammad Ali, starring Will Smith. When I was a kid I idolized Ali. I wanted to be a boxer. I didn't know much about him personally, but I knew he was a phenomenal boxer. My boxing obsession meant I would box in the garage where my brother had weights and other exercise equipment. I think we even had a speed bag. The day I hung up my gloves was the day I fell down an bruised my hip, a deep bruise that had me in pain for days. I decided then I was not going to be the world's first female boxing champ.

The children didn't know anything about Ali. I had to stop the film and explain a lot of things - Sam Cooke, segregation, black muslims, boxing licenses, etc. It was very educational for them. We didn't finish the film, but we will tonight. My biggest quarrel with it is that we don't really see the man as a person, in unguarded moments. It's too much about surfaces, events, and some clever banter. It's not telling me anything about Ali's heart. Too bad, too, because Will Smith is excellent.

We have tall bamboo in our backyard , for privacy, and it was planted by a former owner. It screens us from the neighbors really well, but I HATE the stuff. It pops up little trees all over the yard, all the time. We have to kick them down to prevent a forest back there. Maybe this is where Mike got his first English phrase "I'm gonna kick him up!" which we still laugh about. So one of Michael's birthday gifts is a hatchet. It's a nice one, with a leather hood over the blade that snaps in place. I will try to teach him proper respect for it and to not run around like a maniac. I think he will be OK. I won't have to worry about him cutting off any of his own fingers. He likes cutting. He got outside with me last night and had great fun with some new garden clippers, helping me deadhead our three large rose bushes.

We got a lot of thunder last night and it looked like it would rain but it didn't. Mother said we got a shower there today, though. We need rain, bad. I might have to get out in the yard and do a rain dance. That always works.

My Little Guy

My friend Apryl, who is with Antares Foundation, sent me two photos she found of Michael from July 2005. I looked at them and wanted to cry. He told us just the other day how his head was shaved when he first went to the orphanage.

Mike's on the far right. He was 9 years old and he looked about 5.

This is a photo that was made recently:

He looks like an entirely different child, huh?! [This is right before Alesia carried Coco up to bed - Coco loves being carried like this!]

I looked at the kids in the photo above and I thought, what has happened to them? Where are they now?

Michael's orphanage was one of the better ones for older children I have seen anywhere, but once the kids turn 17 or 18 and finish school, they are on their own. They usually have no family to help, no resources.

Michael is writing little "stories" - just paragraphs, really - about his life in Kazakhstan. Mother works with him every day for a couple of hours, tutoring him, and he has made strides already. I am wondering if the stories could be knit together for a book of some kind. He writes honestly and pretty well for an 11 year old who barely knew any English a year ago. He talks about playing with a friend and skipping school - in first grade. He writes about when he first went to the orphanage and they shaved his head. He has told us how he hid from the authorities when they tried to take him from his mother, even though she had been so horribly neglectful and abusive. If he can find his "voice" as a writer, I think it would be therapeutic for him to write all this down, before he forgets it or blocks it out.

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Alesia was better last night. She and Michael ate pizza for dinner, a rare treat, and we all watched Hello Dolly. I sang along to a lot of the music, and Alesia didn't complain.I did a dinner theater production of Hello Dolly when I was 17, and believe me I know every word to every song - we ran 8 shows a week for 5 weeks. It's a great show, though. Mother actually watched with us, which is a rare treat.

I felt the presence of my dad with us. He loved "Dolly." He and Mother saw it on Broadway with Carol Channing in the 1960's. Seeing it always makes me think of him.

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I was dismayed to see that George Carlin died over the weekend.

I grew up seeing him on Laugh In, and later I heard his comedy albums and memorized some of his routines, just because they were so clever and thought-provoking. I can still do part of his routine comparing football and baseball. When he did Saturday Night Live I would stay up and watch it until the end, because he always ratcheted up the humor level on the show.

Classic Carlin: We buy houses just to hold all our STUFF. We collect more stuff over the years, and we have to buy a bigger house to hold it all. // I don't take a camera on vacation. I have a trick I use - I just look at something and REMEMBER it. // I've never understood why you can't sing at the dinner table. You can stand right next to it and sing your a** off!

Carlin was raised Catholic but turned away from the church and was openly antagonistic about it, and abotu all religion, basically. Sometimes his rants in recent years were really distasteful to me, if not downright offensive. However, I still read his books and watched him whenever I could, because he always said things that were intelligent and made me think about the world a little differently - even if they ticked me off. I will miss the occasional sighting of him on TV or in print, because his voice was unique, and it's stilled forever. 

A Visit from Tony

I got up early this morning and went out and watered everything while it was cool, when it was legal to water. We are on water restrictions and can only water 3 days a week, with a hose. We’re not getting enough rain to do the job, either, although we got a shower late this afternoon.

Alesia and Mother had a blowup this morning. Mother made her two hard boiled eggs, and Alesia complained that she suddenly didn’t like or want them. She has an aversion to egg yolks, but not all the time, which is infuriating. Mother was fed up with her behavior yesterday and today the second thing out of Alesia’s mouth was a complaint, then a muttered remark, and Mother went into orbit. I had to intervene. I sat down and talked to Alesia. I told her the constant complaining has to stop. It’s mis-directed anger. I hope the therapist can help us.

My cousin Tony came to visit. He lives in Lexington Kentucky and teaches high school. He was named for my father. Young Tony, or Tono as we used to call him, is the son of Dad’s oldest brother Lewis. Lewis was a wonderful artist and we have many paintings of his.

Tony doesn’t have kids but he is wonderful with kids, and Alesia and Michael really liked him. He drove down from Rome, Georgia, which is about 1.5 hours north. His mother lives there and he was visiting her. Lewis died a few years ago. I had not seen Tony in about 3 years. He had a few more grey hairs, but he was the same old Tony. Very funny, quick to laugh, very sweet. Alesia said she liked his smile particularly.

Mother was feeling a bit creaky, so Tony took me and the kids out to lunch. I wanted to go to a little Thai place but it was closed. We ended up at Fuddruckers, which was great because the kids went and played videogames and Tony and I had a chance to visit. Then we came home and Tony went for a bike ride [on my brother’s bike] with the kids, which pleased them enormously. He also got out in the backyard with Michael and kicked around the soccer ball.

The kids and I went to see The Love Guru this afternoon. I like Mike Myers, but the movie was just immature and silly. There were few out-loud laughs. There was a lot of crude humor, which I usually enjoy, but here it was, for long stretches, ALL the humor. I kept waiting for some kind of real plot – even Austin Powers movies have plots – but the plot of The Love Guru was just paper thin and silly.

It was a nice day, though. I like to do something every weekend where it’s just the kids and me – gives Mother a break, and I want to be with them, even if it’s just a movie.

This is not a great shot - I don't know why Alesia didn't smile - but none of the photos came out too well, alas.