The Crab Chronicles

Sandwich and Stereotypes

It's been a weird, discombobulated sort of weekend. I had a number of plans that just didn't come to pass. I did get to spend some time with Lesleigh yesterday, and she stayed for dinner last night, which was fun.

I cooked hamburgers on the grill, and made homemade White Acre peas, squash, and a peach cobbler that turned out pretty well.

My friend Paul came over today to work on Mother's computer, and we had some time to chat.

I find as I grow older and Mike gets older and more independent, I need time to hang out with my friends. It keeps me sane.

I am the middle of the "sandwich generation" - caring for my child and my mom.I love them both and it's my privilege to care for them, but I need a break now and again.

Michael and I took Colton yesterday, and we saw Men in Black III, which is a really fun romp of a movie. I recommend it totally, as long as you're not expecting high art. It's just fun. There are some unexpectedly touching moments, too.

My old friend from high school, Jeff Joslin is also in it, which makes it fun for me.

I was sort of disgusted to see a preview for something called Hatfields and McCoys, which is going to be on History Channel tonight. All I could think was well whoop-de-doo, that's how you combine EVERY southern stereotype imaginable and set it to a redneck-on-crack sountrack, and let's see how many people will be watching that hogwash?! Did the feud actually happen? Yep. Does that make it a great subject for a miniseries? Not necessarily. I adore watching Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton, but this whole concept is just disgusting.

Can't I EVER see the south portrayed honestly onscreen, without playing up all the negative stereotypes?! Dang. If you've never been to the south you'd think we are either Gone With the Wind racist nitwits or Dukes of Hazzard rednecks. Hollyweird keeps recycling the same old stuff.

To add insult to injury, they filmed this in ROMANIA, according to the review in the New York Times.

We're about the same as everyone in other parts of the country, except we generally have better manners and we talk slower.

Period.

Grrr.......

I will say this, all these guys [who are in the movie] are awfully attractive, to an old lady like me, so I might tune in just to see them...

From left, Tom Berenger, Powers Boothe, Kevin Costner, and Bill Paxton

Chained to the Oar

One of my top 10 fave movies is Ben Hur, starring Charlton Heston, and I think of it often these days. There's a famous line from the movie that occurs during the part when Judah is a slave rowing a huge Roman ship, chained to an oar.

"We keep you alive to row this ship. Row well and LIVE!" the overseer snarls.

Yeah baby, that's the way I feel some days.

[Above, that's Chuck, looking all dirty and tired, and still the hottest thing around in 1959, if you ask me...]

It's been a hard day. There are many reasons why. I can't blog about them. As my fave singer Mary Chapin Carpenter sings, "Some days you're the windshield / Some days you're the bug."

I can say this - this is the middle of my life. I don't daydream any more about getting married and living in the suburbs. I live in the suburbs. I don't need or want a husband.Or even a boyfriend.

[Some man willing to come over and do handyman chores once in a while would be nice. Oh wait, I've got my brother for that. Never mind.]

I dream about sitting on a porch, in a rocking chair, with a big old mutt dog close by, and a good book, and maybe a glass of iced tea.

That's it.

That's my vision of heaven, right now. Rocking on the porch.

My mom asked me the other day what I want for Mother's Day. Here's what I want.

I don't want to have to do anything for anybody, all day. I want to just do whatever I feel like doing. Everybody else in the house can take care of themselves. Just let me be. I've rowed well, dadgummit. Just let me live.

Let me be the windshield.

That's it. Just a chill day for old mama.

Maybe then I'll get that Ben Hur quote out of my head.

If I Ran the World

I love watching an old movie and seeing an actor who is now famous, but wasn't at the time the movie was made. Such is the case with one of my faves, Gerard Butler.

I always watch a movie (on the computer) when I walk in the morning. The past couple of days, I've been watching Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown, and, to my dismay, I realized that it was the very first movie made by Gerard Butler. However, he looks AWFUL in this movie!! What idiot decided the horrible haircut and scraggly beard were the right look for him there?!

This is yet another fact which proves my lifelong hypothesis that IF I RAN THE WORLD IT WOULD BE A FAR SUPERIOR PLACE!

Here are some changes you'd see if I ran the world:

Hot men like Gerard Butler would not be allowed to grow scraggly beards.

Gerard Butler would have to shave his face every day before going out in public!!

A cure for cellulite would be the recipient of a lot of research money.

Every person could take 4 "mental health" days off every year, paid by the employer.

Spiky-heeled shoes would be regarded as a health menace. [which they ARE]

Nobody would have to learn Algebra or higher math except people going into professions where it's actually needed [like engineering].

Broccoli would be banned from public places.

A flat tax would be instituted - 20% for everyone.

and a few more serious ones:

Congress would be completetly overturned and there would be some new rules - term limits, no lobbyists, no free healthcare for congressmen/women, etc.]

English would be the only language for public places and documents. Immigrants would just have to learn it, not expect accommodations.

and finally, my favorite:

All financially secure, stable couples [whether married or unmarried, straight or gay] would be REQUIRED to adopt at least one child before they had biological children. That right there would cure a lot of ills, because children released from foster care or kicked out of orphanages at 17 or 18 often go on to become criminals, simply due to a lack of loving care and guidance.

Yep, the world would be a MUCH better place if I ran it.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

After all the excitement on Friday, I needed a comewhat restful day yesterday, and I got it. The entire week was hectic. If I don't take some "down" time at the end of every week I get sick. It's inevitable. So hopefully yesterday was restful enough for me to avoid illness.

I have a friend named Dana who has been my friend now almost 20 years. We met right after I moved here in 1993, both working at the same law firm. We both love movies, so that's been our primary way of getting together over the years. I met Dana at the movie yesterday.

Yesterday's movie was just excellent, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. A comedic love story, it had a lot of surprisingly clever dialogue and beautiful cinematography. It also had some surprising lessons about faith. I highly recommend it. I put the trailer below because I so want to help this movie find an audience.I want to buy it when it comes out on DVD, I already know, because it's such a gentle, wonderful movie.

 

I love Ewan McGregor because he's such a good actor and certainly easy on the eyes. However, when I read that he'd adopted a 4 year old girl from a Mongolian orphanage after filming a movie there, my opinion of him rose tremendously.

I know there's some backlash against celebrities adopting children internationally, but the more it's done, the more high-profile those adoptions are, I feel the better. He actually went to the orphanage and saw all those children and he adopted one. I don't know how anyone can visit ANY orphanage and not want to adopt at least one child. You give them a chance at a decent life, and sometimes you give them life itself, like my friend Stephanie.

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Michael and I also went for a walk in the mall, late yesterday afternoon. I prefer walking outside but we have a lot of hills around here, and right now I'm getting bitten by mosquitos every time I walk outside, which is maddening. I hate malls - lots of crap nobody needs, at idiotic prices.

Every time Michael would be fascinated by things at the mall, I'd remind him that he did not NEED yet another pair of tennis shoes. He now wants to go buy headphones. I think he should make do with earbuds, but he's determined to spend his money.

For dinner last night I had put pork chops in the oven and accidentally nearly burned them to a crisp. They were edible, barely. I was so glad I had some spaghetti squash to fix, and I bought some hashbrowns at the store. I don't usually endorse ready-made foods because in general I think people should fix fresh food. However, grating potatoes irritates my hands something fierce and Mike loves hashbrowns, so I discovered Simply Potatoes. They are in the same section as the pudding at Publix. These garlic and herb potatoes are terrific. I highly recommend them.

Those are the highlights of yesterday - sort of pitiful, huh?! So be it. Enjoy your Sunday.

The Face in the Mirror

Lots going on in my world, but nothing earth-shattering.I have one child at home and he does one sport. I don't know how working parents with more than one child do it. I truly can't imagine the logistics.

Michael has an appointment today regarding his new prosthetic and so I let him sleep a little bit this morning. Yesterday was hectic, between school and tennis practice, then Colton came over for dinner and to help Mike with his math.

We watched a cute movie, Mr. Popper's Penguins, last night. Michael liked it. I enjoyed it. I'm not sure why it didn't do better at the box office, but if you have younger kids, it's entirely appropriate, so I can recommend it without reservation.

I was puzzled by how aged Jim Carrey looks, in the face. He is the same age as me. Makes me wonder if I will look like a wrinkled hag if I lose too much weight?!?

The number 50 is looming out there, this summer, and I am dreading it. I am not vain about my looks [lord knows I have no reason to be] but it's more that I'm aghast at how quickly it has all passed, all these years. I look at photos of myself in high school and college and I think ah, there I am, that's me. Then a mean little voice in my head says THINK AGAIN, YOU OLD BAT.... :-(

Yesterday was a very nice day at work. I can't go into details, but it was pleasant. I had kind of a stressful day Monday, running around the courthouse, so I was ready for a break. A legal career is not for the faint of heart, as it can be very stressful sometimes. It helps a lot if you work with nice people.

I have a bird's nest on the outside sill of my window, and the birds serenade me every morning. There will be no sleeping late for me in the near future.

My mother got some bad news yesterday and was quite upset. Please keep her in your prayers. She has had a very stressful past year. Getting old ain't for sissies, as Bette Davis once quipped.

Post Oscar Weary

TURBULENT is the best word to describe my life in the last few days. I feel like I've been put through a meat grinder. Too much on my plate. No time to myself. 

I told my boss this morning, it was so nice to be back in the office where things are peaceful. LOL

I had to go to a funeral this afternoon, and I came back and napped. I never nap. I couldn't keep my eyes open, however. I was up late last night watching the Oscars.

I have not seen the silent film that won all the awards. I really wished The Help and The Descendants had won more. Both are terrific films.

This was my favorite dress, worn by Penelope Cruz*:

Below is my least favorite dress:

These are some more dresses. I didn't really care much for any of them but the white one:

The red dress with the floppy thing at the neck?! ICK.

Not much more to report. Tonight: early to bed!

*She used to date Tom Cruise and I always thought, what a great name if she married him - Penelope Cruz Cruise!

Oscar Night!

It's OSCAR night! Be still my heart. My favorite TV night of the year.

I've had a really busy day, including working all morning, so there's not much to blog about. I worked 3 hours. Came home and ate lunch. Went to Wally-world and picked up a few things. Went to Kroger. Came home. Dropped Mike off at the tennis court and went to the fish store for some shrimp. Now I get to put laundry away, clean up the kitchen, and then WATCH THE OSCARS!

I want to say one thing very clearly here. THE HELP should have gotten a LOT more nominations. It's a phenomenal film.

Here are the nominees with my choices for winner in red: [in some cases the highlighting didn't work except on the film's title but you get the picture.]

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Nominees:

The Artist (2011): Thomas Langmann

The Descendants (2011): Jim Burke, Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (2011): Scott Rudin

The Help (2011): Brunson Green, Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan

Hugo (2011/II): Graham King, Martin Scorsese

Midnight in Paris (2011): Letty Aronson, Stephen Tenenbaum

Moneyball (2011): Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz, Brad Pitt

The Tree of Life (2011): Sarah Green, Bill Pohlad, Dede Gardner, Grant Hill

War Horse (2011): Steven Spielberg, Kathleen Kennedy

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Demián Bichir for A Better Life (2011)

George Clooney for The Descendants (2011)

Jean Dujardin for The Artist (2011)

Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Brad Pitt for Moneyball (2011)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs (2011)

Viola Davis for The Help (2011)

Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011)

Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn (2011)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Kenneth Branagh for My Week with Marilyn (2011)

Jonah Hill for Moneyball (2011)

Nick Nolte for Warrior (2011)

Christopher Plummer for Beginners (2010)

Max von Sydow for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (2011)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Bérénice Bejo for The Artist (2011)

Jessica Chastain for The Help (2011)

Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids (2011)

Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs (2011)

Octavia Spencer for The Help (2011)

Best Achievement in Directing

Nominees:

Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris (2011)

Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist (2011)

Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life (2011)

Alexander Payne for The Descendants (2011)

Martin Scorsese for Hugo (2011/II)

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen [I have no opinion here since I only saw one of these]

Nominees:

The Artist (2011): Michel Hazanavicius

Bridesmaids (2011): Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo

Margin Call (2011): J.C. Chandor

Midnight in Paris (2011): Woody Allen

A Separation (2011): Asghar Farhadi

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

Nominees: MONEYBALL!

The Descendants (2011): Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash

Hugo (2011/II): John Logan

The Ides of March (2011): George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon

Moneyball (2011): Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan

Night Driving

There are very few things that I fear or that make me really anxious, but driving at night, in the rain, is one of those things.

I had Colton and Michael in the car with me last night at 6:30 as we left Phipps Plaza after going to the movies. I generally avoid all malls. I hate shopping. Phipps' parking lot has changed a lot over the years, and I got turned around in the lot, trying to exit onto Wieuca Road and not being able to, Michael laughing at me from the back seat. "Let's use the GPS. You need it to get out of the parking lot Mom!" he'd chortled.

Very funny, son.

The only reason I'd ventured to Phipps was that it allowed the boys to see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and me to be next door seeing My Week With Marilyn. Worked out perfectly.

I liked the film, and I think Michelle Williams totally deserved her Oscar nomination. She was brilliant. The film wasn't really a powerhouse, though. I love films about characters. I don't care if anything explodes. I have gotten used to seeing British films that have more oomph than My Week With Marilyn. Maybe that's unreasonable. Not every film can be as brilliant as The King's Speech. Maybe it's unfair to even say My Week With Marilyn is a British film, just because it was filmed there. Michelle Williams is American.

Another thing I didn't like about the film was actress Julia Ormond was cast as Vivien Leigh, which was horrible miscasting. She neither looked nor acted like Vivien Leigh. [I used to be be sort of obsessed with all things having to do with Gone With the Wind.]

Anyway, it was fun teasing the boys about watching Nicholas Cage in a big action movie. He's close to my age. I don't think much of his acting skills. I can't see him playing, for instance, a lawyer. He always exudes an air of crazy, that becomes really creepy the older he gets.

Otherwise, it's been a fairly quiet weekend. Rain is either falling from the sky or threatening, today. Good day to work on taxes...

Coordination

I hate when Michael is sick, because it's so difficult to make plans. Trying to gage how he's going to feel is always tough.Yesterday went entirely differently from how I thought it would.

Thursday night, Mike felt awful, and was blowing his nose every 5 seconds. I had made him go to school because he had a test and he wasn't running fever.

Yesterday morning, I let him sleep a little later than normal, and went in his room to wake him up. I told him he could stay home, but if he did it would be tough to make up all that work on Monday. For some reason his teachers always give him a ton of homework on Monday. He thought about it, and decided to go. I was glad to see that.

However, my deal with him was that if he needed me to pick him up at school, I would do so. Therefore I got to work a little late and then worked thru lunch, anxiously wondering if/when my phone would ring or I'd get a text telling me he wanted to go home.

Fortunately, my policy of letting him sleep a lot - and dosing him heavily with extra Vitamin C and Grapeseed Extract, which is rich in antioxidants - worked.

Finally, about 2:30, I texted Michael and he said he was OK and wanted to go to tennis.

As I was eating my late lunch, the Boss asked me to take a delivery to another office on my way home. I agreed, and thought to myself, how am I going to coordinate getting Mike to tennis if I am stuck in Friday traffic?

I got the delivery made, although I didn't use my new GPS. (I couldn't figure out how to turn it on. I need another tutoring session from Michael.) Then I got stuck on I-285. Fortunately, another parent helped me out with getting Mike to practice. He had to come home, change clothes, and eat a sandwich in the car.

For the next 9 weeks, until early April, Michael has tennis practice every day after school. The matches are on weekdays, too. I'm glad he made the team. It's just going to be very busy, trying to coordinate everything.

Michael and I started watching an interesting movie last night, 50/50. I couldn't figure out why it had an R rating, then about 5 minutes into it, Seth Rogan's character blurted out some really inappropriate things and I was just sitting there in shock. Michael, to his credit, said "What a jerk." See, this is why I don't censor what he watches too much, except for not allowing horror movies. Michael, at 15, is already pretty mature about a lot of things. Rogan's character in the movie made some more inappropriate remarks later, and Michael was disgusted. That's how it should be. Another kid would've reacted differently, perhaps, so I urge parents to not just lay down one blanket "No R movies" or whatever criteria. Judge each movie on its merits, and know your kid. Some movies get an "R" rating for no good reason. 

It's too bad that stuff is in there because otherwise "50/50" is a sweet little movie, and funny [in spots, not a laugh riot.] It also features a young actor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who is really fascinating to me. He's very talented, and he has the most interesting and expressive face. He acts without even seeming to act, which is the way it's supposed to be done.

Maybe I like him, too, because I can see Mike looking a bit like him in a few years...

Happy Groundhog Day

I didn't realize until late in the day that it's Groundhog Day, which is, I've mentioned before, one of my top 5 favorite movies. I can sit and say all the lines with the characters, which is why my kids don't like watching it any more.

I can remember my Dad doing that while watching Macarthur. It freaked out my friend Scott when he was visiting and Dad did it.

I guess the message I love about Groundhog Day is that you can change. You can fix your life and make it better. Of course, the main character in the movie is forced into that, but he changes nonetheless.

I also love Andie MacDowell in this movie. Of course, she's from Gaffney, South Carolina, and that adds points, to me. The scene below where she explains her perfect guy is one of my favorites:

 

Of course, I don't need General Lee to tell me we're having an early spring. There are daffodils pushing up in my backyard! I am running the air conditioner!

And, Michael is sick. He had to stop taking the antibiotic for his face because it was causing severe itching. Then he got around a sick kid. Plus he went to germ central school. He felt rotten this morning but I made him go to school because he had a test in science. After school he insisted on going to the tennis team's first practice. He had a headache but he didn't want to miss it.

He came home and crashed. He ate a good helping of fresh guacamole, plus shrimp and rice, for dinner. I made the guacamole from fresh avocados, and just added lime juice, salt, and a little onion powder. They are very nutritious.Mike loves them.

I don't like them. I ate spinach.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but Michael was in bed at 9:30, which is a great thing.

Happy Groundhog Day, y'all. I will be glad to see this week END...