The Crab Chronicles

You Annoy Me, But I Love You Anyway

Michael's teacher loaded him up with homework last night. I got home and took Alesia shopping for yet more school supplies, while Michael was at tennis practice. When we got home, he informed me that he had to read a long story.

So we sat and read this story in his language arts book. I was amazed and delighted at how his reading has improved. Mother has read with him all summer, and Alesia. It's funny, but Alesia has more patience. Mother says her years of teaching school left her burned out when it comes to listening to a child read.

I told Mother, it was only April of 2007 that he really started reading in English, and he is already up to 4th grade reading level. He is actually on grade level, after speaking English for such a short time. Before I could bring Michael home, we had to spend a few days in Almaty, to get his passport and everything ready to come to America. My friend Apryl had loaned me a book, the name of which I've blocked out, all about dogs being up and down, and wearing hats, etc. Really cute book, and a good one for teaching English, as it illustrated words like up and down and in and out. Michael just stumbled horribly to get through one sentence. I used to just despair, thinking, how on earth is he ever going to get up to grade level in reading?!

Now, he likes to read Naruto comic books, and he loves the Garfield comics. We have big books of Garfield cartoons. Culturally, he seems more advanced than Alesia - he gets most of the jokes. His brain just works so quickly.

Mother says when Alesia and I are not there, Michael loves to play the piano. I was surprised when she told me that. I was thinking yesterday, with some sadness, that the world of making music is just off limits to him because of the missing hand. No prosthetic can really duplicate what a hand can do, at least not yet. I spent years taking piano lessons and guitar lessons. I loved playing music and singing, just for myself. As I got older I didn't play so much but I continued to sing. Mother and Dad loved to sing and often sang around the house. I'd love to pass that love of making music along to my kids.

Mother said what Michael plays on the piano is actually pretty melodic, and he has some talent. I rarely have time to play any more, but when I do sit down at the piano, he always wants to be there with me, and he listens intently. Alesia took lessons for one year, but she never really enjoyed it much, and was not upset when we said last year, no piano lessons, let's concentrate on schoolwork. She is almost completely tone deaf.

I told Michael yesterday that I want him to play tennis and soccer this fall, as I think both sports are good for him. I even spoke to the soccer director and she assured me we could find Michael a team with practices that would not interfere with tennis. However, if Michael's schoolwork suffers, sports will be dropped. I don't know what we will do in the spring, because we will have to make a decision then about trying to skip him a grade, and free time will be more limited.

Alesia said she was bored most of the day yesterday, since the teachers didn't plan anything for the first day. She really liked her Intro to Interior Design teacher, who is only 25 years old. I looked her up on the school website and she looks about 12. I don't care, as long as she's a good teacher.

Alesia assured me many times last summer that she would do better in school this year. I mentioned something the other night about the importance of taking good notes and writing down assignments in her agenda. She accused me of not believing her when she said she would be on top of everything this year. So I made a rash promise. I told her I would give her two weeks, and I would stay off the school website and not monitor what she did or didn't do in her classes. I would be available to help, but school was entirely her responsibility and I wouldn't interfere. Now I am sort of regretting that promise, but I will keep it. Last year I checked ever class, every week. Often I found she had failed to turn in assignments or made a bad grade on a quiz, and it freaked me out and she got a lecture. So this year, I will see how it goes "hands off" - if nothing else, it should contribute to more harmony in our house.

I have been emailing to a lady at the district level in our county, about the school's failure to let Alesia have an IEP. We had a really productive chat this morning. She said that probably the best course for Alesia would be a 504 plan, since she has the Auditory Processing Disorder. I am so hoping we can do something, just to get Alesia the little bit of extra help she needs.

Alesia has gotten where she doesn't like Michael to hug her goodnight any more. She only barely hugs me. She says she doesn't like hugging, although she readily hugs her friends. Last night she refused to hug Michael and I got really ticked off. He wasn't "touching her stuff" or being annoying in any way. After our brief hug I tried to draw Michael in for a group hug and she got ticked and started really fussing. I shut her down by just hustling Michael out of her room. Then I thought better of it in a few minutes and I opened the door and looked at her intently. "I am really ANNOYED with you, Alesia, but I love you anyway!" I said, as evenly as possible. She just stared at me. I shut the door again. I couldn't go in and attempt another hug, but this morning she was in a decent humor, so maybe my reassurance sufficed.

Inquiring Minds

Every once in a while someone emails me this questionnaire, and I think it's silly. However, I thought I would answer it here, just for fun. Just because you don't know every detail of my life yet, right?! And I know inquiring minds want to know!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?  yes, my grandmother
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED ? I rarely cry, but I think I was in the car going to work and just feeling blue
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?  compared to what?
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? cold lobster
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yes!! See next post
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?  Hard to say. Would depend on if I had a high tolerance for temperamental people...
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Well duh...
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? nope. got them out when I was 10. horrible ordeal. ice cream was such a joke after the nightmare...
9.  WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? only while wearing Depends
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? oatmeal
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? don't wear laceups
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? mentally, yes
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? eyes [or butts, if they're walking away from me]
15. RED OR PINK? what exactly does this mean?!
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? inability to stop eating sweets
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my brother
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? nope
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? none, bare feet rule when I'm at home
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? ice cream [low carb]
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the dehumidifier
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON,WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? oh puh-leeze....
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? clean laundry; city streets after a rain, in summer
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my son
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? well it was Mom, so yeah
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? baseball
27. Hair Color? light brown with red highlights
28. EYE COLOR? blue/green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?  yes
30. FAVORITE FOOD? lobster / Godiva chocolates
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? HAPPY ENDING
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Transformers
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? orange
34.WHAT KIND OF MUSIC ?  classic R&B, Bonnie Raitt, Mary Chapin Carpenter, James Taylor, Billy Joel
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? peanut butter pie or pecan pie
37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?  Replay by Ken Grimwood
38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  currently without one
39. FAVORITE SOUND? MOM, I'M HOME
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME???  Russia [Khabarovsk]

41. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  Augusta, Georgia

NOTE: I am a Guest Blogger on the website Adoption Under One Roof. If you look for the link to the right of here and click on it, you can scroll down and see my post My Children Are Different. It's a great site.

Back to School We Go

We slid into the new Off to School routine this morning with few issues.

I woke up and got my shower, and got Alesia up at 6:17. I had told her I would get her up at 6:15. I expected her to be grouchy. She was, but not because I was getting her up too early. She thought I was getting her up too late. I got this: "It's NOT 6:15, it's 6:17! I have to do my hair!"

I went in Michael's room. He didn't bound out of bed with vigor, either. here is what I saw, in fact:

I finally got everyone downstairs for breakfast. This is my girl, in her new dress, with perfectly straight hair and only slightly out of focus. I think her hair looks better in its naturally curly state rather than straight, but who am I? Just old fuddy duddy mom, so whatever...

After eating his oatmeal and drinking his milk, Mike still hadn't finished his yogurt, so here he is, sucking on the gogurt package.

When I dropped him off at school, he wanted me to go in with him. Nope, you're a big boy, I said, trying a little tough love.

This is the report from when he got home. I always talk to him on the phone when he gets in.

“Michael, what did you have for lunch?”

With great excitement: “I had something that I have no idea what it was but I liked it.”

Granny: “What?”

“It looks like pizza. It was spicy. There was three. First one was filled with something and it was spicy, second one same, third one was filled with meat.”  [Note: we think it was some sort of pasta dish like ravioli.]

This morning he was saying “I won’t know anybody!”  When we talked just now he complained that the kids in his class were all the same ones from last year.

Even WORSE - the teacher, he said, made them line up “Boy girl boy girl! And we have to SIT that way!” There is a little girl, Trinity, who is in his class but she wasn’t there today. I told him to stick to her, since he likes her. She’s a nice kid. Puberty obviously is not far advanced, since he’s complaining about having to sit next to girls. LOL

When You See The Big Chicken...

It has certainly felt like a Sunday, all day. Thank goodness it was better than last Sunday – but then again, we had air conditioning today.

I got up around 7 and I made the kids get up early, too. They watched TV for a while, an infrequent occurrence at my house. I watered outside.

We have had a pretty leisurely day. We drove up to Marietta, which is northwest of Atlanta. Mother wanted to see the square, which she hadn’t seen in years. It’s been the town square since long before Mother was born. My great grandfather Robert E. Butler owned a drugstore there, and many other businesses in Marietta. Mother remembered playing in the cool grass under the big trees when she was little. There is also a bandstand.

Now there are lots of funky little stores and restaurants around the square. We didn’t stop and go into any of them, which would’ve been fun. Mother can’t walk that much. We drove around a bit.

We also saw The Big Chicken, which is a landmark. All directions in Marietta start with something like “You go north on 41 ‘til you see the Big Chicken, then hang a left…” The Big Chicken once graced a different eatery than Kentucky Fried Chicken, but now it’s the KFC mascot for that location. To me, when I think of Marietta I think of Dobbins Air Force Base, and The Big Chicken.

We had lunch at Maggiano’s, which is about 15 minutes away from the square, close to where I work. Mother had never been there. The food is good, but not great, we agreed. The portions are huge. Mike couldn’t put away all his spaghetti, and Mother couldn’t finish her lasagna. I ate most of mine, as did Alesia. She had chicken piccata.

We came home and the kids went swimming. Gave me a chance to read a bit.

We’ve been running clothes all day, and I ironed Mike’s new school shirts. Well, he ironed one of the shirts. He said he liked to iron, and he seemed to do it fine. Good skill for him. He has also now learned how to wash his own clothes. The basket is a bit hard for him to manage, but he can mostly do it himself.

Alesia and Michael both can cook a bit, clean, and help around the house.  I think it’s important that they be very self-sufficient. I saw too many kids when I was in college who were totally helpless without their mamas. Some of them were from wealthy families and never had to do anything. Others were from much less wealthy parents but their mamas never bothered to teach them how to make a sandwich or wash a shirt. This is an important part of their life lessons, I feel.

After swimming, we went to Walgreen’s, and ran a few errands.

Dinner was soup and sandwiches. We tend to eat that sort of dinner on weekends, just because we often go out to lunch and eat a lot. Nobody feels like eating a big dinner.

It’s hard to imagine that school is starting tomorrow, August 11^th. In a way I feel sorry for the kids, but then again they get a winter break, and they get out in May. I never started school until after Labor Day, but the whole world has changed.

Jumping Around

We've finally had a break from the heat. Highs the last two days were in the upper 80's. Coooool! Bruce wrote and said he was delighted the temperatures in Baghdad were DOWN to 110! Of course, it's a dry heat there.

Our neighbor helped finish the trampoline last night, and the kids have had a blast jumping on it. We've had some serious discussions about safety. I told them one injury, and it's going to Goodwill. I will post some photos when I can.

I made the kids get up earlier than usual today [8 a.m.] so they can get used to early to bed, early to rise - since school is starting Monday! Hard to believe.

We got the grocery shopping done early, and had lunch at Shorty's Pizza. Mother was lunching with a friend of hers, so it was just me and Michael and Alesia. We had a nice lunch. Shorty's is locally owned and serves a thin crust pizza with all kinds of unusual ingredients to choose from. I had a pizza with a pesto sauce base, and pepperoni and ricotta cheese. Alesia's pizza had salami and mushrooms. Mike just had regular pepperoni but he inhaled it. Right now he is hungry all the time, and I know he's growing.

We headed to Old Navy and I got the kids some school clothes. Michael now has about 5 good, collared shirts. Alesia likes to wear only jeans. In some jeans she is a 4, but in Old Navy jeans she wears a 1!

I just read a news article about Georgia and Russia being at war. That situation scares me. We are allied with Georgia, and not Russia? I need to read up some more about that, so I can decide how I feel. I just hope that little horror isn't going to escalate into World War III. It sure would be weird to go to war against my daughter's birth country.

We were watching an old movie called Eye of the Needle the other night. It's a WWII thriller. At one point I was trying to explain about Hitler fighting a two front war, and Alesia asked me a question starting with "we." I wasn't sure what she meant - "we" meaning Russia, or America? She looked offended. "I am an American now, Mom!" The thing is, she used to say "we" and mean Russia. I am actually pleased she thinks of America as her home country. As soon as she turns 18 next year her dual citizenship will end.

Both my children have dual citizenship until they are 18, then they become just Americans, without doing anything. If they want to retain dual citizenship they will have to file some paperwork or something. I want them to just be Americans. I need to get them American passports, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Since Michael has forgotten his Russian and becomes more American every day, I don't worry about him returning to Kazakhstan. There is nothing there for him, and no family ties.

I was sad to see comedian Bernie Mac has died. He was a brilliantly funny man.

We had a funny evening yesterday.

Alesia and Michael were sitting on his bed. Mike didn't have on a shirt because he had just gotten out of the shower. He has a little belly. Alesia looked at him with great disdain and said "Michael put your shirt on! Nobody wants to see your roly polys!"

Later, we were eating dinner and Mother was quizzing both kids about the parts of speech. We like to quiz them sometimes to see how they do. Mother said "In this sentence what is the word sweet? I like sweet peppers." Alesia shouted "Adjective!" 

Mother said "OK. An adjective modifies a noun. What modifies a verb? What do you call that?"

Both kids sat there, frowning. Alesia finally said, "A proverb?" Mother had to duck her head, she was laughing so hard.

Michael had been having hiccups. Alesia has a cure method that involves jumping jacks and twisting around - you get so intrigued with it you forget to hiccup. Mike did it and the hiccups stopped, but they started back after dinner. Then Michael said "I feel the hick-em-ups coming back!"

Living Outside the Box

Categories are tough. Conforming to a category is really tough.

I recently started trying to fit my blog posts into categories, which you can see if you scroll down and look to the right of this. It's not easy. Most of my posts fit into a lot of different categories, or none. That's how my brain works. One minute I am thinking about different recipes for spinach, the next moment I am pondering how to help Michael learn his multiplication tables. I probably have a bit of ADHD, but I try to use it to my advantage.

The children came to me the other day and said they want to tell people at school that they are younger than they really are. Alesia has decided to tell people she is 15, and Michael to tell people he is 11. While I normally think honesty is the best policy and would not condone this, I responded positively to the fibbing about age. My kids are 2-3 years older than the other kids in their same grade. It's embarrassing to be the only 17 year old in the 10th grade. It's embarrassing for Mike to be in 4th grade at 12 years old. I have worked very hard to help them advance - I've tutored them, Mother has tutored them, we've spent great amounts of time and money on supplemental books and materials - but the school has offered no help, and my kids are, for the moment, stuck.

Recently, a reader sent me a rather mean comment saying I should worry more about Michael being behind in school than about him being different. I wanted to say, what on earth do you propose I do? I cannot afford private school, or full-time tutors to homeschool him. He's only been speaking English just over a year. Michael has been tutored 2-4 hours a day, all this summer, by his grandmother. He has made a lot of progress. However, I cannot tutor him 18 hours a day and tell the school to put him in 7th grade this year, or even next year. For one thing, he deserves a childhood as normal as possible - not pushed to the brink of a nervous breakdown. For another, most adopted kids who are not babies are a year or two behind in school. My children need to learn how to be comfortable being different from their peers in school.

You may think me letting them lie about their ages is a bad idea. I don't think it's a good idea in the long run. However, at the moment anything I can do to help them feel happy and comfortable in school, I will do.

I was a shy, fat kid, with few friends in school. I was very smart, but socially awkward. I also went to a lot of different schools my first few years, for various reasons. So I am very sympathetic with how my kids feel. They have funny accents. They don't know a lot of English words. Some things are just beyond them, culturally - Alesia said last night she doesn't understand the word politics, for instance. She is very naive. It's awkward for them to explain their painful backgrounds, even to grownups.

Most people unfamiliar with Russia, or adoption, or older child adoption, just cannot fathom what a huge adjustment my kids have had to make. At times, it's overwhelming to them. Some of Alesia's high school teachers have demonstrated quite brutally that they don't care, and they won't give her any extra help whatsoever. Her art teacher last year was just a nightmare. I'm still trying to get Alesia an IEP.

Assimilating to a different culture doesn't happen overnight. For most humans, it takes years. My kids are wired differently.

Since I can't wave a magic wand and make their school problems disappear, I have to help my children be comfortable being different. Michael's accent is minimal and he will probably someday soon be able to "pass" - people meeting him won't pick up on anything different, except his missing hand. Alesia's accent seems destined to be permanent, although most people she meets have no idea she is Russian born. However, for the reasons mentioned above, and others, they have to learn to accept and like themselves as being different.

It has taken me a long, long time to accept that I am different. I have never easily fit into any category, even nonconformist. As a kid, I liked dolls and tomboy things. I enjoyed cooking and playing football in the street. I wrote poetry, and I liked to go fishing. My family was nonconformist in a lot of ways. Manners and obedience were very important in my house. Watching sports was not. While other parents in the south used the "N" word casually and easily, in my house my parents never said it, and it was a spanking offense. We talked about history and politics at the dinner table. I was taller than every kids in my class until the 6th grade. I just never fit a category. 

My entire life has been different. I didn't follow the normal course of going to school, getting married, working or staying home, having two kids and living in the suburbs. I happen to have two kids and live in the suburbs at the moment, but there are very few single moms who match my demographic. I am very opinionated but I try not to offend people - that took a long time and it's a skill I am still working on, the not offending part I mean. I am very creative, but not particularly good at drawing or sewing or "craft" things. I have a high IQ but I'm not a genius. I come from a family background that looked white bread and conservative, but my parents were both unique and didn't fit neatly into categories either. We're all a bunch of oddballs.

My brother and I have sometimes had a tough relationship, because, as my mother like to say "He marches to a different drummer." I tried in my younger years to fit in, and he never did. Brother has always thought and said and done exactly what he wanted. He has conformed only as much as necessary. He truly doesn't care if people don't like his house, or his haircut, or his opinions. He is comfortable with himself, and that's what matters. I want my children to be like him, in that respect.

Alesia and Michael both care very much about whether they are liked. Most kids do, I bet, but they don't have the marked differences to contend with. Like me, my children don't fit neatly into any category.

I constantly ponder ways to get Alesia and Michael to understand that if they like themselves, and demonstrate self-confidence combined with good manners, that others will like them and be drawn to them. They must never pander to anyone or anything just to make friends. This is a huge challenge for me as a parent.

The fibbing about their ages is OK, to me, for the moment. I have to help them accept that it's OK to be a little older than their peers, but they aren't there yet.

When I was a kid I wanted to fit in. I used to fuss about getting the latest toy, or clothing item, or whatever would make me feel part of the "In" group. Even as a young adult, I used to worry excessively about superficial things like my hair. I don't know exactly when I changed from being concerned about others' opinions to being completely my own person. I suspect it was when I got Alesia home and realized that the only truly important job I've ever had is being a mother, and nothing else even comes close to that in importance.

I can't give my kids the private school educations I'd like them to have. We can't afford a big house or a new car. I can't afford expensive vacations, or designer clothes for them, or so many material things their friends have. I can't supply them with a father. We don't even have extended family members who are consistently in our lives, to my regret. However, if I can figure out how to teach them to be happy with themselves, and to contentedly march to the beat of their own drummers, I will feel like I've done a good job as a parent.

The Rant on Budgets

The kids started putting together their trampoline this morning. They can't finish it alone - they need a big strong guy to help. Hopefully one of the neighbors can come over tonight. I asked Michael how big it was and he said "It's bigger than your car, OK? Let's just say that."

I have been trying to figure out a realistic budget. I have resisted this for a long time because 1) I hate budgets, and 2) I kept hoping the condo would sell and I could get that debt off my plate. So far, no sale on the condo. I think this must be a record - more than 3 years and it's not sold. Of course, it hasn't been on the market the whole time, but still... Let's just say I will never buy a condo again, OK?!

It's always hard for me to make a realistic budget because stuff always pops up unexpectedly. Like last April, Alesia had the endoscopy and the medical bills from that - what insurance didn't cover - were around $1,000. Unexpected medical expenses stink. Then there are unexpected car expenses - and I am driving my Mazda until it's ready for the junkyard. Sometimes we have unexpected house expenses, too, for plumbers, etc. or like Alesia's makeup mirror falling out of the bathroom wall. Haven't figured out how to fix that one, yet. [It may go on the Honey-Do list for my brother, for when he's home in November.]

One thing I am trying to do is bring my lunch. Food in the cafeteria here has gotten really pricey. Plus I am tired of it. Today I brought some of our wonderful homemade vegetable beef soup from last night. It's very hearty [thick as stew] and filling. That saves me a good bit right there, if I can bring leftovers. Mother isn't crazy about leftovers anyway, so they tend to languish and get thrown out. She and the kids prefer sandwiches. I am not keen on sandwiches, mainly because I do not like mustard or mayonnaise, except in recipes.

When I was a kid I flatly refused to eat anything with mustard or mayonnaise on it. Needless to say, we rarely went to McDonald's.

I was on a local TV show called Trooper Terry when I was about 6, and there was an issue. Trooper Terry was a local TV personality in Augusta who talked to his kiddie audience and showed cartoons [think local version of Howdy Doody]. All the kids in the audience were supposed to eat these hamburgers and fries from Kelly's hamburgers, and smile and look happy on camera. I refused to eat the hamburger because it had mustard and ketchup on it. I imagine the camera operator was horrified to see my scowling face in the audience of kids, and panned away a lot. Those were the days before video cameras or YouTube, or I'd show you. It was NOT a happy experience for me, despite the thrill of being near Trooper Terry, whom I adored.  Anyway, I digress, as usual.

Let's digress some more.

When I was in college, I had $25 to eat on every week, after I got my own tiny apartment. Even in 1982 that wasn't much money. That had to cover everything, too, like toiletries and magazines. It was brutal. One day, driving back to Athens, I was stopped by the police for speeding. I was going 80 in a 55 mph zone, and I got a ticket for like $175. That wiped out my meager savings and my food money. I remembered my cousin Terri telling me once she would eat beans for a couple of weeks sometimes and save her food money for new camera accessories [she was an avid amateur photographer]. So I decided not to tell Dad I had that ticket. I decided to eat only oatmeal and what was in my pantry until I could get the money together for the ticket. I love oatmeal, so this seemed like a reasonable idea. It took about 1 day to go through my pantry stocks of tuna and Campbell's soup.

On about day 4 of the oatmeal diet, Dad called me as I was sitting down to dinner. He said something casual like "What are you eating for dinner?" and I started sobbing uncontrollably. He asked me what was wrong, and I blubbered "I have to eat oatmeal, OK? JUST OATMEAL!!" He asked why, and I finally broke down and told him about the speeding ticket. He started laughing hysterically and had to hand the phone to mother. She was not sweet about it. No mommy comfort was forthcoming, to my chagrin. You see, my father was a speed demon, and collected speeding tickets all the time. We never went on vacation that he didn't get at least 1 ticket, and sometimes 2 or 3. Those were the days before fuzzbusters or CB radios. So Mother was annoyed I took after the old man with the leadfoot.

Dad took pity on me and just paid the ticket, and sent me some money for food.

It was a year or so before I could eat oatmeal again.

So BUDGET is not a happy word for me. I have to make peace with it.

Help Diana

My friends at the Antares Foundation are trying to help a young girl named Diana, who has diabetes. She desperately needs medical supplies to help her manage her disease. If you can, please see this page about her - I met her  when I was adopting Michael and took her some supplies, but diabetes is a serious health condition and the orphanage doesn't have the resources to really keep her well. She is a sweet girl.

Embrace the Dawg

At this moment, according to weather.com, it is 96 in my zip code, and feels like 99. Don't you hate that little "feels like" addendum? Isn't that TOTALLY subjective? So for me, 96 feels like 120, and for my 75 year old mother it feels like maybe 85.

Without looking at the computer, I could tell you by 10:00 this morning it was going to be a scorcher. I had been to both kids' schools and my hair was hanging in wet strings around my face. I looked like a short, fat, white Rasta woman, with a bad attitude.

At the moment, I do not like being an Atlantan. I wish I could trade places with my buddy Hallie up in Maine. Of course, she wouldn't want to be here either.

This is the weather where you stay inside, in the air conditioning, unless you have no other choice. A "cold front" is pushing through, though, and by next week the highs will just be in the upper 80's. Wow.

I took both kids to Open House at school today.

Michael's elementary school has been named a Georgia School of Excellence, and it shows. The building may be old, but everything there is run like clockwork. I got the forms, and filled them out. We got his agenda and a school calendar. I paid PTA dues. We saw teachers who smiled and said hello. We found his classroom, met his teacher, etc. The books were on the desks, ervything was neat, and the teacher was very nice. We chatted for about 10 minutes. She reminds me of his teacher from last year, who was terrific. As I left the school, I was asked about donating a book to the library, and Michael picked out a book and I paid for it. Everything was calm and happy, despite there being a lot of folks, many with small children, and some who didn't speak English.

Michael chided me about stepping on an insect on my way into the house, but instead of the snotty retort which sprang to mind, I paused briefly to get control and just said "He's gone to be with Jesus. Hallelujah for the bug."

Alesia's high school, however, was a different story. It's also considered an excellent school, but in my opinion, it's not. It's only excellent if your child is advanced. If your child needs an IEP, or simply some remedial help, it's awful. It took me 10 minutes just to find a parking space. We got in there, and had to ask around to figure out where to go. There was no helpful person and there weren't even any signs. We finally got to the gym, and I paid her student fees [$40 - like my outrageous property taxes aren't enough?!]. We went to pick up her schedule and were told to go to the library. In the library, we were told to go back to the gym. In the gym again, we have to wait 10 minutes before someone finally tells us the schedules won't be available until Monday. However, they are on the computer, we are told. I got into work and took a quick look - the website for parents is out of commission until Monday. Aaaargh!!

I took Alesia home and gave Mother a quick report of the school visit with Alesia.

By the time I got to work, I was a sweaty heap of seething resentment. It took me a while to calm down.

I did see a cute license plate, which cheered me up a little. It said DAWGGON. For those of you not from here, it means "Dawg gone" and "dawg" is the preferred spelling for Georgia Bulldog fans. Even though I went to grad school at the University of Tennessee, my heart will always belong to the bulldogs. My parents went there, uncles and aunts went there, etc. Mother has a signed, framed photo of Uga, the Georgia mascot, in her room. It's bigger than photos of me, but that is no big deal. I think Uga is cuter. We were all sad when the latest Uga passed away in June, the one pictured below. A new Uga will grace the field for the first game though. English bulldog puppies from the Uga line are prized.

[Before you get excited and start thinking I am a football fan, think again. I love the dawg, love the traditions, feel loyalty to the school, but I HATE football with a passion. I'd rank attending any football game right above an enema on my list of things I want to do in my spare time...]

We're Cooking Now

My brother emailed me this afternoon and said he has the day off tomorrow. I am so happy for him. That will be his first whole day off since he got to Iraq in March. I don’t know how he’s done it – 12 hours a day, 6.5 days a week. Yikes.

Alesia has been a lot better today. I don’t know why. She goes through ups and downs. So do I, though. Being female is soooo much fun.

Alesia and Mike did better on their chores today. Mike even cleaned up his room. Mother said he was running around saying “I can’t afford any more fines!” LOL

Our wonderful neighbor is canceling the dog walking job, but the kids may walk the dog sometimes without pay, just depending on their schedules when school starts. They like walking her, and they adore our neighbor. The money isn't that important to them. They get some exercise and get outside. I am a big proponent of both.

I went at lunch and finally got the kids a trampoline. They seemed pleased but not overly so. It’s a 12 foot, so not too big. Hopefully Alesia can put it together herself. I always wanted a trampoline as a child, so I admit it’s something of a wish fulfillment for me. It was also on sale at Sports Authority. That’s my favorite word, “sale.”

I grilled steaks for dinner, and we had the famous zucchini cakes from Paula Deen’s recipe collection. They are wonderful. The kids enjoyed grating the zucchini. We didn’t have squash. I left out the butter and just forgot the parmesan, but they were still wonderful.

Michael is an enthusiastic kitchen helper. He singlehandedly got out all the pie recipe ingredients after dinner and put together our little diet cheesecake recipe. It’s not really cheesecake, but it’s yummy, even with Splenda. It works on low carb diets.

Fake Cheesecake

1 tub real Cool Whip

1 8 oz. Brick of cream cheese

1/3 cup Splenda

Soften up the Cool Whip and cheese and mix well with the Splenda. Put into a graham cracker crust and chill well - about 3 hours. Serve alone or with fruit on top.

I wonder how it would be to use real whipped cream instead of Cool Whip, and maybe Ricotta? I like to think of ways to add in the calories. LOL

Mother has served this many times. It’s very tasty.