The Crab Chronicles

The College or Toilets Speech

My cold is a LOT better. I spent yesterday just resting at home, and my voice is much better. I think I will still have this for a few days, but hopefully it's not turning into anything worse.

I finished the new Diana Gabaldon book yesterday, An Echo In the Bone. I was so disappointed. Nothing was resolved in the end. In fact, the book meandered along for more than 700 pages before things really got going. This is an unfortunate phenomenon I have observed in other popular authors, like Ann Rice and Stephen King. They get where they just write and write and no editor fixes their work to make it more readable. They just blather on and on. Eventually, they turn off a lot of their readers. I am getting to the end of my patience with Gabaldon.

I wanted to hear Gabaldon speak at the Decatur Book Festival, but Lesleigh and I got to the venue about 15 minutes before her speech and the line had 500 people in it, standing in the rain. I said Forget It, no way will they get even half the people in that church. She is an excellent speaker, having been a university professor.

Her first novel, Outlander, is a terrific story about time travel, history, romance, adventure, and suspense. It's very exciting. The next one is also good. If you read her books in order, read the first three, and then stop.

Michael was grumpy when I picked him up from school, telling me about failing 3 tests last Friday. I tried to talk to him, and he didn't want to listen. I emailed his teachers in those subjects and asked them to please check his agenda before he leaves class, to make sure he has the homework assignment right. About 30% of the time he doesn't understand it. I let him see the email and said in there quite plainly, he will not be playing sports in the spring if his grades are not good.

I gave him a speech I've given Alesia many times, the Do You Want to Go to College Or Clean Toilets The Rest of Your Life? speech. I told him I would help him, but the responsibility of getting his assignments right and studying for tests rests with HIM. He is smart and capable and I am not going to baby him any more.

He spent more than an hour on math homework he should've done in class, and hadn't even brought his book home so he could finish it. I finally told him after dinner that's it, we have family time now, and you will have to take it in incomplete or finish it before school starts. He was not happy, but that's the only way he will learn, I see now.

Nobody said the worst part of parenting was going to be the homework... 

I posted a review of the movie Year One on my movie review website. Check it out.. 

Sick But Busy

After the recent flooding, I have come to appreciate a pretty weekend when it doesn’t rain. Being sick mars the whole deal. I have been hoping I would just work through this bad cold, but it has gotten worse, despite my vigilant water and vitamin consumption.

 

Alesia had her first SAT prep class yesterday, at her school. She will take the SAT in December, so I wanted her to be prepared. She will probably take it again next year, but it’s good for her to know the kinds of things they ask, and where she has gaps.

 

She was a bit groggy yesterday morning because she hadn’t had much sleep. Friday night she went out with DN, the boyfriend. They went to see the ghost movie, Paranormal Activity. She was not wild about the movie. She went back to DN’s house after the movie and they had a chance to talk and get to know each other a bit better.

 

Yesterday, she wanted to get together with him again, after we had made our Kroger run. Mother and I told her she should suggest some activity that was free. So they played tennis, and then came here for dinner, at my invitation. I was glad to get a chance to talk to DN, and I also met his dad, although he didn’t stay for dinner. The parents are divorced.

Alesia was not happy with me yesterday afternoon when she was running around getting ready for tennis. She didn’t want to wear tennis shoes. I fussed at her and reminded her you can’t wear just any shoes to a tennis court, you have to wear actual tennis shoes. Finally, she wore her high tops. She muttered “I wish I hadn’t said I would even play tennis!” They played at the court at DN’s condo. I talked to her afterwards on the phone and asked her how it went and her reply was “It was FANTASTIC! We had SO much FUN!” That made me chuckle. As Mother said later, she is crazy about this boy and that makes everything fun.

 

DN could probably suggest staring at pavement for two hours and she would go along enthusiastically. Ah, to be young…

 

Michael is not adjusting well to the loss of Alesia’s attention. He got asked to go to dinner and hang out with his friend Colton last night, but before that, when it looked like he would be here with us and DN, he grumped. He said to me, “What are we going to talk about it dinner?!?” I replied something like “We’ll just have a nice conversation?” and he shot back with “I’m going to talk about everything embarrassing about Alesia that I can think of!”

 

I told him in no uncertain terms he WOULD be nice, or suffer a consequence. Fortunately, we didn’t have to deal with it.

 

We tried to read Harry Potter last night before bed but my poor voice is going. We stopped after a short time. Michael said “That’s painful to hear!” Of course, he can read the book on his own, but it’s more fun when I read to him, and it’s something I enjoy. I need to get to the doctor and get some drugs, I’m afraid…

 

Altogether and exhausting day for me, but both kids had fun. Today my plan is to do laundry but otherwise REST. We might take a ride and enjoy the fall scenery - the leaves are gorgeous here right now.

Got 'Er Done

It’s been a satisfying day, because I have gotten several things accomplished.

 

Mother’s computer has been on the fritz for several days but she’s now back online. She sends and receives hundreds of emails every day, and knows a lot more about what’s going on in the world than I do. She asked me this morning if anything important was happening in the world, and I had to say I had no idea. I try and catch the headlines and the weather every morning as I fix breakfast, but that’s it.

 

We made turkey and dressing the other night, and ate only some of it. We got the rest frozen, so most of Thanksgiving dinner is done. We may get a ham, too, depending on who comes to eat with us. Usually it’s just Bruce, and sometimes Lesleigh, sometimes another friend.

 

All my aunts, uncles, and cousins do holidays with their own families. We don’t travel. There are no Normal Rockwell holidays on either side of my family, but then again there are no huge fights, either. We can hang out in pajamas all day and eat sandwiches if we like. Most times, we hang out and relax, maybe hit a movie. Since the worst of the cooking is already done, I might try a new recipe adventure this year, like the one for cranberry sauce on Pioneer Woman’s site, or the one for corn casserole . I will have to make a pumpkin pie, though, it’s the law. No pie means no Thanksgiving. Can’t have that.

 

Michael has never really learned the holiday dates, for some reason. I have to keep reminding him that Thanksgiving is in November and Christmas is in December. I told him recently that we usually decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving, when everyone else is shopping like mad. His whole face lit up. “I LOVE Christmas!” he announced. He has continued to say that a lot. He is really looking forward to Christmas. I am not.

 

Last year, with Bruce in Iraq, I went a bit overboard with Christmas gifts. This year, I am working part time and trying to be really careful with money. I already told Mike he’s not getting any new electronic game playing thingy, sorry. I sent the kids an email yesterday telling them to be thinking about a list of maybe 5 things, none too expensive. We are scaling back Christmas a lot this year. No choice. It’s OK. It’s not about merchandise.

I took Mother to get her toenails manicured. I do not like hanging out in nail places. I am always nervous when people look at my chewed off fingernails or my horrible little Hobbit feet. I need to learn how to say “My nails are all CURSED! Do not look upon them!” in Mandarin and probably Vietnamese. 

 

I have been in despair recently over Michael’s poor face. He has had such a struggle with acne. I have begged him to drink more water, to no avail. He has gotten better about not drinking sodas, and rarely drinks them now. He’s also cut out most dairy, except a bit of cheese. He’s washing his face twice a day. I couldn’t get him to wear the honey and cinnamon mask that really works wonders. So I did some research and he’s now taking vitamin supplements and Brewer’s Yeast. The miracle is that it seems to be working. His face is gradually clearing up. Thanks be to God.

 

Alesia seems to be settling into her routine of having a boyfriend. She told me today he gave her back her jacket she had left somewhere the other day. She sees him after her last class, as their classes are next door. She told me “He GAVE me my jacket!” in the same tone of awe and wonder that I would describe being asked out on a date by Aaron Eckhart. It was so cute.

 

Speaking of Eckhart, I have to confess, he is such a major cutie pie. Here he is. Feast your eyes… [I have a weakness for blonde men...]

 

 

Marching Bands and Boyfriends

It's very hard for me to get excited about football, even regarding my alma mater, University of Georgia. I hope the Dawgs win, of course, but I don't get excited about it. My parents both went there, I went there, several of my aunts and uncles matriculated there, and one of my cousins sons is there now.

However, I have always loved marching bands. I want to skip watching the football and go straight to the marching band. Football fans think I am insane.

My friend John posted a video clip on his Facebook wall of the University of Tennessee Pride of the Southland marching band. I watched it and got Fired Up. Not for UT, no. I got my master's degree there, but it's not the Family School like UGA. (I got only my masters degree there because I was living in Knoxvegas and it was cheaper than leaving town.)

I got Fired Up to see the Dawg band, The Redcoat Marching Band. 

So I went on YouTube, the greatest time-waster ever invented, and just spent some serious time wacthing the UGA band. I watched several clips, but I have to say, this one right below is my favorite. It hints at the frenzied excitement that is a UGA football game day. I don't care where in the US you live, if you've never been to a football game at UGA, or even UT, or Alabama, or any other southern university football game, you cannot fathom that excitement. I lived in a dorm beside the football stadium my sophomore year at UGA, and the motor homes with die-hard alumni would park outside the dorm sometimes two days before game day and start tailgating, and blast Georgia fight songs the entire time until the game started.

Here in the south, "tailgate" is a serious endeavor. It ain't just a piece of the car, y'all.

 

object width="425" height="344">

Hmmm... I am not sure that embedded. Let's try a link. Enjoy.

We had a pretty pedestrian day, except for the fact that I jerked awake at 6:45 this morning, freaked out by the fact that it was light outside. Alesia had been up for more than an hour. She gets up at 5:30 and leaves the house at 7:30. Lord, think how early she would have to get up if she were UGLY?! Yikes..

Alesia announced at dinner tonight that DN [I won't spell out his name here, for privacy reasons], the boy who danced with her at Homecoming and invited her over last Saturday, asked her to be his girlfriend, and she said yes. She said it casually but her eyes were twinkling and her voice was unnaturally high. She said he asked her out for this weekend, although plans are not firmed up yet. Mother and I instantly peppered her with questions, which she fielded with ease. We know where he lives, but we are unsure of siblings. Mother wanted his father's first name. Finally, we got a grip. "Mother' leave her be," I said.

"If he gets out of line, slap him, OK?" I told her. She giggled. "Of course!"

Uncle Bruce has taught her the fine points of self-defense, and I am not concerned. I also have stockpiled cans of whoopass in my room.

I am proud of Alesia, and pleased for her. He seems like a nice kid, and she is not getting hysterical. I think she will play it cool, and I want her to have her first boyfriend while still young enough for me to advise her.

When DN came to pick up Alesia the other night he was exquisitely nice to Coco, who didn't bristle and bare her fangs at him. That's a good sign. He didn't say a word about my purple hair, another good sign. When we see him next, as long as he has reasonably decent manners and is nice to Michael, he will be in my good graces.

I signed Alesia up to take the SAT in December, and she will take 3 PTSA provided prep classes, the next three Saturday mornings. I have to discuss this with her, but tonight was not the night. It's unfortunate that high school juniors have to start making declarations about what they want to do in life. How many 17 or 18 year olds have a clue about that?!

I am just going to advise her that before she can plan the wedding, she will have to go to college.

Go Dawgs!

Fighting Words

It’s a cool rainy day, just like yesterday. I am not sure how this will play out in my house. Both the kids are invited to Halloween parties.

Michael is mad because I told him he can’t spend the night at his friend’s house tonight. I told him the last time I allowed it he stayed awake all night long and was a zombie the next day. Besides, he has had a cold the last week or so. So he is ticked. He kept arguing with me last night in the car to pick up Alesia from her party and I finally said “If you keep arguing you won’t go at all!”

Alesia got home from her party and was nearly manic with excitement. It’s very annoying when she gets that way. I asked her to turn off the porch light before coming upstairs and she retorted “What, you can’t do that yourself?!” At that point I yelled at her, I must admit.

The kids have been so engrossed in all things related to their cell phones that they have been refusing to do what they’re told and they have almost completely stopped being respectful the last day or so. I had to tell Michael 4 times to vacuum the family room yesterday – his regular Friday chore.

One good thing about email is this: I fired off an email to them both saying if they didn’t start being respectful [saying Yes M'am and No M'am] and obeying the first time they are told to do something, they will lose privileges like computer time, MP3, going to social events with friends, etc.

I know most parents of teens are not as strict as I am, but I will not allow disrespect or disobedience. I just won’t. I try not to be a drill sergeant, but a minimum level of compliance is required.

As I always tell them, when you get in the REAL WORLD, the sort of lazy, disrespectful behavior you prefer will not be tolerated by an employer or a boyfriend/girlfriend, not for long anyway.

I am going to tell them both that their rooms must be cleaned before 4 today or nobody is going anywhere, and Alesia has to clean her bathroom as well. Every once in a while I just get fed up with having a scruffy house and I get manic. I cleaned the kitchen and dining room yesterday, and will tackle more today. I cleaned my bathroom right after I got up, except for the tub. That’s Michael’s job.

 

On top of everything, I cannot get the Cher song “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” out of my head…

The Dating World

I was too pooped to blog last night. Mother did a funny post on her blog about how much she hates to play bridge. I once tried to learn that game, and failed utterly. Of course, I was only 11, but still... I have a knack for most games.

I'll never forget teaching my grandmother to play Monopoly one rainy afternoon. She loved games. By the end of the afternoon she owned everything and Bruce and I had no money and were destitute. We were adolescents. Taught us a lesson. Mamaw was the epitome of a Steel Magnolia...

It was pouring rain here yesterday all day, miserable weather. I had to go to the Gwinnett County courthouse, but it’s not a bad one to visit. Folks there are nice and it’s easy to file things and get copies to the judge, unlike in Fulton.

On my way back to the office I stopped and got a Wendy’s mandarin chicken salad. I have had that salad before. It’s very tasty. It’s a green salad with orange sections, sliced almonds, crispy Chinese noodles, a piece of grilled chicken, and a spicy sweet dressing. I got back to the office and looked up the nutrition information, and it had a whopping 50 carbs! Yikes. I was so irritated. I ate all the chicken, but left most of the noodles and ate only a few orange sections. I did a comparison and I would’ve come out better to eat a small plan hamburger with cheese.

 

When I came home Jim. Our computer guy, was here, helping the kids and Mom. I was having some issues but he had talked me through how to fix them on the phone, and didn’t charge me for that. He is such a nice man.

 

I waited too long between lunch and dinner, and had only a banana for a snack, so by dinnertime I was ravenously hungry. Not good. The key to me dieting successfully is not letting myself get too hungry. So dinner wasn’t too great, bangers and mash, as the English would say. I ate a cucumber salad and some sausages.

 

After dinner, we were sitting and watching the movie, and Michael said, “I am still hungry!” So he fixed himself a chicken hot dog. OK, fine. At least I have taught him to eat protein snacks and not always junk, thank God.

 

Last night’s big news was that Alesia was asked out by a boy on Saturday, the same boy she danced with all evening at the Homecoming Dance. He invited her to come over to his house on Halloween night and watch movies. I told her she could go, provided he picks her up and brings her home, and I get to meet him and chat with him. I also wanted to know his address. There are going to be other teens there at his house, so I feel some better. I did a little checking and apparently he comes from a nice family.

 

I imagine they will watch horror movies, which I don’t allow in my house, but she will be with a big group so I am not going to worry about it.

 

My little girl is growing up…

Pumpkin Sunday

Alesia and I went driving today, and she got on the interstate! It was so scary for us both, but she did fine. I didn’t think on a Sunday around noon there would be much traffic but I was so wrong! She went from one exit to the next, just a few miles, but she did fine. I, OTOH, had to, uh, weewee (Mother reads this or I would just say pee)  and I thought we might not make it to the Kroger and a clean bathroom.

When you are losing weight (knock wood) you drink a lot of water and you tinkle all the time. It’s a small price to pay for deflating one’s enormous butt, I keep reminding myself.

After running a couple of errands, the kids set to work preparing our pumpkin – see below. Then they went to see some movie about teenaged vampires, called Cirque du Freak. I didn’t go. I went home and read a book. I did, however, take my kids and 3 more kids to the movie. They all said the ending was awful.

I refuse to see any movie with the word “freak” in the title. I couldn’t persuade them to see the Amelia Earhart movie, though..

Michael has been cranky all day. Mother and I both suspect he may be getting sick. Hope not. I may take him to the doctor, though…

 

 

 
Above, this is what happens when I try to take a photo of Alesia. Or below.

 
Fortunately, Michael is a little more cooperative..

 
Yes, he designed the pumpkin to look as though it's throwing up. He's 13.

Makeup, Purple Hair and Bell Peppers

We had a busy day yesterday, like most Saturdays. We got a pumpkin and a beautiful yellow mum, very fluffy and pretty, to put out in front of the house as our fall decoration. I think the mum looks lovely, between the fake vampire and the huge spider.

Michael informed me at kroger yesterday that Halloween costumes were for little kids and he didn't need one. He did, however, plan to go Trick or Treating and wanted his hair temporaily dyed purple. Oh, and some crazy makeup on his face, which he started to describe in garish detail. I grabbed a little makeup kit and some spray on hair color and we were good to go, for less than $5. Yay! I may answer the door in his skull face mask from last year. That thing wasn't cheap...

A lot of time was spent on Michael's social studies project, a research paper about Leonardo DaVinci's drawings for war machines like tanks and helicopters. Bet you didn't know that about Leonardo, huh?! It took forever because I was trying to teach Michael HOW to write a research paper. He had already seen a DVD and read a book and an article, but coaxing the words out of him for the paper was tough.

I made the best dinner last night. I took some beautiful pork chops, thick and meaty, that we got at DeKalb Farmer's Market last week, and stuffed them. They were butterflied. The stuffing was a mixture of minced portobello mushrooms, onion, and parmesan and fresh black pepper, sataueed in butter. I put the stuffed chops in a 9x13 pan and put some sherry in the bottom of the pan and baked them for over an hour at 300, then another hour kept warm at 200, wrapped tightly in foil to prevent drying out. They were fork tender.

Below is a funny story from Mother's friend Caroline (pictured below with her hubby and Mom). I just wanted to share it, and she gave permission:

"My mother couldn't eat salt because of her high blood pressure, so everything she served, my father and I automatically salted.  But she did adore bell peppers, in any color!  As a child I hated ALL vegetables, except corn-on-the-cob.  Corn off the cob was as bad as all the others.  Spent the night at a friend's once, though, and, being a polite little girl, I forced myself to try the vegetables her mother served for dinner.  They were delicious!  I had seconds! Naturally, I asked my mother to please find out how she cooked them.  The answer was simple - my firend's mother was not enamored of bell peppers.  (I noticed they weren't as colorful as my mother's.)  My mother, on the other hand, put chopped bell peppers in everything and assured me they had no taste, they only added color!  My mother lied!  Corn on the cob?  She'd never figured out how to attach bell pepper to them!  To this day, I hate bell peppers in any color!!!  Fortunately, Keith shared my aversion, but, to the day she died, mother kept chopped peppers in her freezer and offered them to me regularly - to give my food a bit more color.  And, to the day she died, I declined the offer. And then we'd both giggle."

 

 

Chef Boyardee and Defiance

Yikes, I didn't realize I would get so many comments about Alesia's photo... I need to clarify. She is a beautiful girl, and it's not a bad photo at all. It's just that she is MORE beautiful now, with her hair back to a more blonde color. That's all I meant. The photo just isn't as pretty as she is!

Mother published a really cute, funny post on her blog, entitled Chef Boyardee and Other Foreign Foods. When she was growing up, my grandmother considered Chef Boyardee an Italian cuisine! This is one of Mother's best blogs ever.

Why is it that Alesia gets mad and acts snotty every time I ask her to do anything?! We had a fight this morning because she didn't want to use the proper pan for making herself an omelette. Then we had a fight because she didn't clean her bathroom very well.

I finally just told her that until she learns to respond in a civil way to me and not be so oppositional, I am just going to ignore her. This has worked in the past, but who knows if it will work today.

Teenaged girls!!! AAAAARGH!!!!!

Mnemonics and Dancing Feet

Mondays are always hard but today I feel like I have been running ALL day.

The good news is that my first "run" was by the doctor's office to use her scales. She agreed it would be OK and the office is very close to my house. I lost 12 lbs. last week! YAY! All the changes were worth it. I didn't deprive myself either. I had part of a dessert Saturday night. I imagine most of it was water weight, but that's OK. Good incentive to keep going. If I could lose around 8 lbs. a month that would be great. We shall see. Habits are hard to reform but I am trying.

Michael was in a foul mood all afternoon. I was trying to help him study the map of Europe, since the test was postponed to tomorrow. He knows all the major countries - France, Spain, England, etc. He foundered on Eastern Europe [Slovenia, Slovakia, Croatia, etc.] but I figured out a mnemonic way to help him. If you start at the Czech republic and go south, the countries are Czech Republic, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, and Albania. CASCBMA, or Carry All Sick Cats Behind My Ass. (I knew he would remember a phrase with the word "ass" in it, sorry Granny.) Going southward the other way there's Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Macedonia, or Send Her Some Money.

I took a beginning Bible study class my freshman year in college and I used mnemonic devices like that all the time.

We got Michael's bracket back on his braces. I hope no more come loose, as they are going to start charging me to fix them.

Michael insisted on showing me a video of some kids doing some weird dance called The Jerk. He and Alesia are intrigued with that. It didn't look like actual dancing to me - looked like they were attached to electrical wires, with unfortunate results. So I got on YouTube and showed Michael some REAL dancing, Riverdance. I also showed him its country cousin, clogging. I tried to insert a video but I am not sure it worked... Great thing is, Mike LOVED this video. It is impressive, showing excellent clogging to all different styles of music. Enjoy [hopefully].