The Crab Chronicles

The Rant on Budgets

The kids started putting together their trampoline this morning. They can't finish it alone - they need a big strong guy to help. Hopefully one of the neighbors can come over tonight. I asked Michael how big it was and he said "It's bigger than your car, OK? Let's just say that."

I have been trying to figure out a realistic budget. I have resisted this for a long time because 1) I hate budgets, and 2) I kept hoping the condo would sell and I could get that debt off my plate. So far, no sale on the condo. I think this must be a record - more than 3 years and it's not sold. Of course, it hasn't been on the market the whole time, but still... Let's just say I will never buy a condo again, OK?!

It's always hard for me to make a realistic budget because stuff always pops up unexpectedly. Like last April, Alesia had the endoscopy and the medical bills from that - what insurance didn't cover - were around $1,000. Unexpected medical expenses stink. Then there are unexpected car expenses - and I am driving my Mazda until it's ready for the junkyard. Sometimes we have unexpected house expenses, too, for plumbers, etc. or like Alesia's makeup mirror falling out of the bathroom wall. Haven't figured out how to fix that one, yet. [It may go on the Honey-Do list for my brother, for when he's home in November.]

One thing I am trying to do is bring my lunch. Food in the cafeteria here has gotten really pricey. Plus I am tired of it. Today I brought some of our wonderful homemade vegetable beef soup from last night. It's very hearty [thick as stew] and filling. That saves me a good bit right there, if I can bring leftovers. Mother isn't crazy about leftovers anyway, so they tend to languish and get thrown out. She and the kids prefer sandwiches. I am not keen on sandwiches, mainly because I do not like mustard or mayonnaise, except in recipes.

When I was a kid I flatly refused to eat anything with mustard or mayonnaise on it. Needless to say, we rarely went to McDonald's.

I was on a local TV show called Trooper Terry when I was about 6, and there was an issue. Trooper Terry was a local TV personality in Augusta who talked to his kiddie audience and showed cartoons [think local version of Howdy Doody]. All the kids in the audience were supposed to eat these hamburgers and fries from Kelly's hamburgers, and smile and look happy on camera. I refused to eat the hamburger because it had mustard and ketchup on it. I imagine the camera operator was horrified to see my scowling face in the audience of kids, and panned away a lot. Those were the days before video cameras or YouTube, or I'd show you. It was NOT a happy experience for me, despite the thrill of being near Trooper Terry, whom I adored.  Anyway, I digress, as usual.

Let's digress some more.

When I was in college, I had $25 to eat on every week, after I got my own tiny apartment. Even in 1982 that wasn't much money. That had to cover everything, too, like toiletries and magazines. It was brutal. One day, driving back to Athens, I was stopped by the police for speeding. I was going 80 in a 55 mph zone, and I got a ticket for like $175. That wiped out my meager savings and my food money. I remembered my cousin Terri telling me once she would eat beans for a couple of weeks sometimes and save her food money for new camera accessories [she was an avid amateur photographer]. So I decided not to tell Dad I had that ticket. I decided to eat only oatmeal and what was in my pantry until I could get the money together for the ticket. I love oatmeal, so this seemed like a reasonable idea. It took about 1 day to go through my pantry stocks of tuna and Campbell's soup.

On about day 4 of the oatmeal diet, Dad called me as I was sitting down to dinner. He said something casual like "What are you eating for dinner?" and I started sobbing uncontrollably. He asked me what was wrong, and I blubbered "I have to eat oatmeal, OK? JUST OATMEAL!!" He asked why, and I finally broke down and told him about the speeding ticket. He started laughing hysterically and had to hand the phone to mother. She was not sweet about it. No mommy comfort was forthcoming, to my chagrin. You see, my father was a speed demon, and collected speeding tickets all the time. We never went on vacation that he didn't get at least 1 ticket, and sometimes 2 or 3. Those were the days before fuzzbusters or CB radios. So Mother was annoyed I took after the old man with the leadfoot.

Dad took pity on me and just paid the ticket, and sent me some money for food.

It was a year or so before I could eat oatmeal again.

So BUDGET is not a happy word for me. I have to make peace with it.

Our Lady of Sunburn

I woke up with a wicked sunburn on my shoulders. My plan was to lounge under the umbrella and read all afternoon yesterday, but it was so hot I found myself venturing out to get wet, and then a brief swim with Michael, and today I realized my stupidity in thinking no sunscreen was needed on my shoulders. Aaaargh!

Alesia's face and chest got a little red. She tans so beautifully, it's rare to see her with sunburn or even a red tinge, but she was definitely burned yesterday. I had asked her if she put on sunscreen and she said yes. She and Mike have been giong to the pool in the late afternoon when the burn level is lower.

For me, being able to spend more than 15 minutes reading is such a delicious luxury. Before I had kids, I spent hours and hours reading. I used to find an author I liked and read everything they had written - like Diana Gabaldon. As TV degenerated into the reality-show mess it has become, I found myself watching less and less TV in favor of reading a good book.

I would however spend a lot of time watching shows like A&E's America's Castles. I never missed that show. I still have very clear mental pictured of Mark Twain's house, and the Frank Lloyd Wright house in Chicago, etc. I find houses fascinating.

This is close to my "dream house" - a Victorian with a wraparound porch:

THINGS NOT SO PLEASANT TO PONDER:

I was absolutely horrified to learn that a kangaroo attacked a zookeeper at the Atlanta zoo yesterday. Here's the link: http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/living/stories/2008/07/29/kangaroo_zoo_atlanta_attack.html

NOW do you understand why I have a morbid fear of kangaroos?! Any 6 foot tall, 141 lb. giant rat will scare the crap out of anybody!

I am pondering how to cut my spending and live more frugally. I hate to ponder this. I am not a person who is extravagant in any way. I detest clothes shopping and rarely buy clothes. I don't buy much of anything "extra" except the occasional book. I have become a faithful Goodwill shopper. However, I blow too much money on things like eating lunch at work every day, and trips to the movies.

Another small extravagance is that I don't skimp on plants and things for the yard. So I am pondering growing my own seedings next spring and saving money on that. That way, at least, I could save money on flowers and veggies, which are my main hobbies in the warm months - which means March - October, here. I am also planning another compost area.

If you have ideas on good companies to order seeds from, let me know.

My resistance to sound money management stems, I am sure, from the fact that my father was such a fanatic about money. Every January he would announce dramatically "We spent TOO MUCH money on Christmas and we're going on an austerity program around here!" This "program" meant chiefly that he would yell at Mother about the grocery bills and any items of clothing she purchased. After he died, she went out and bought a whole new wardrobe, and Bruce and I applauded her on that. She also had to learn to balance a checkbook and deal with finances, which Dad had never allowed, but she did a great job.

[NOTE: I posted a review of Journey to the Center of the Earth on my Scribblerchick blog. Check it out!]

Walking On the Edge!!

Before I start my exciting blog post I wanted to tell you something. I don't usually pay much attention to the mechanics of my blog but in a few days I will have posted my 700th blog entry! I also have almost 200 comments!

So I wanted to take a moment to say thanks for reading. Sometimes I want to start my posts "Dear Reader" but it seems to unbelievably goofy to do that, so I resist the temptation.

I am working on an essay about why I blog, in hopes it will be included in an anthology about mommy bloggers. As long as they aren't looking for something really "literary" I think I have a chance. It's forced me to think a bit about why I blog.

The blog started out because I got tired of writing multiple emails to friends and family members who wanted to know how things were going with Alesia, when she first came home. So I started blogging and made A Record of the New Normal available to only select folks. That was fine. Eventually, though, in order to publicize Jack's New Family, I realized I needed a public blog. It was scary, going public.

I often start to write about my opinions on some topic, then decide to keep quiet. I am a big ol' wussy, is the reason. I posted about my aversion to body piercings and tattoos and got some very negative comments. So I decided to avoid controversy.

I decided today to list some of my opinions. Go ahead and send the nasty comments. I probably won't print them but I hope it will make you, Dear Reader, feel smug and happy.

Things I Find Very Annoying:

1970's fashions - they looked idiotic then, so why return to those days?! why on earth should anyone with an ounce of body fat wear hip huggers? Or halter tops? Designers are soooooo lazy. Instead of the comfy caftans we SHOULD be wearing, they're going for a very annoying retro look. As long as fashion is going retro, why aren't we seeing the high-waisted plaid bellbottoms so popular when I was in middle school? or the shirts with enormous collars? where are the leisure suits?

Smock Tops that Make A Woman Look Pregnant - if you aren't pregnant, why do you want to look that way?! Anyone bigger than a size 2, WILL look pregnant in something like this:

Smart Cars - I keep seeing these zipping around on the freeways. I am all about fuel efficiency, but these things are like waterbugs on the surface of the interstate. In my huge mid-size Mazda, I feel like a lumbering Frankenstein clod next to the little Smart cars. Are they really smart, safety-wise? what would you prefer around you in a close encounter with a huge truck - a Smart car or a 1970 Catalina?

Sassy Kids on TV - I absolutely hate the Disney channel. Every time I let Mike watch TV, he wants to see Disney sitcoms. I watched 5 minutes of one the other day [Mike had the TV on while I was making dinner] and I wanted to hurl a tomato at the screen. Are all sitcom writers young punks with no children? My kids are taught to be respectful and not snotty to grownups, but that seems to be a very old-fashioned notion.

People Who Don't Keep Their Word - My kids have already figured out which of my friends do what they promise, and which ones are very casual about keeping commitments. I don't allow Michael to see his little friend Xavier because the child's mother doesn't keep her word when it comes to honoring playdates. It has hurt him. I'm trying to teach my kids this - when you say you are going to be somewhere or do something, keep your word. Be honorable.

People Who Consider Colon Cleansing a Religion - you know who you are. If I could spend half my waking hours on the potty I might agree with this view, but I can't.

People Who Think Shopping is Nirvana - to me, shopping is just somethign I have to do sometimes. It's not a sport. It's not a hobby. I know a woman who went back to work and left her kids home unsupervised just so she could have more money for shopping. Excuse me, but I believe there's a commandment on this one, something about Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods?

People Who Send Me Political Emails - I am NOT political. I'm not. I will hold my nose and vote for the lesser evil, on November 4th. I think all politicians on the national stage are morally bankrupt, and I find our whole political system out of whack and depressing. I would vote in favor of letting a computer run the country, if possible - it couldn't be bought off by special interest groups.

Emails about Praying for the Troops - I pray for my brother and all our service people EVERY DAY. If I don't send around your chain email about praying I am not a heartless heathen, OK?!

People Who Assume My Kids Are Like Most Kids - This is a little harder to explain. I overheard a woman recently ask my daughter if she likes to "hang out at the mall with her friends." She also asked me why on earth Alesia is 16 and doesn't have a driver's license.Well, first of all, Alesia is about 13, emotionally, not 16. She doesn't "hang out" anywhere in public without me around, or another responsible adult, because she is very naive and she could get into trouble without even realizing it. She is easily led into irresponsible behaviors. If someone her age offered her a beer or a joint, I am not sure if she would say yes or no. I am not sure she would remember the numbers "911" if she was in danger. She is impulsive and doesn't think about consequences. This is not her fault. It's part of the reason why she's in therapy. Just don't assume she is like every American teenager.

My son is also naive. He hardly glances across the street before darting out. His birthmom let him drink beer, and he often says he wants beer, despite my telling him he can't legally drink until age 21, and I will NEVER let him drink in my house. He likes to brag he will punch out anyone who gives him a problem. Is her serious? I know he says these things in a joking tone, but he spent his first 8 years running wild in the streets, drinking and smoking from a very early age. Fighting was common. I have to educate him about how kids his age in America should act.

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OK, so let me know if you agree or disagree. Let the games begin!