The Crab Chronicles

A Word from The Villain

Now that Michael's back from camp the house seems normal again. He slept like the dead Sunday night, from sheer emotional exhaustion, I think. He was really tired Sunday afternoon and kept saying "Nobody missed me!" even after our hugs and reassurances. Having lost one family, he will probably always have some extra anxiety about losing us. 

I noticed last night when I was cooking dinner that Michael was rather hyper. I was in a foul humor after a tough day, and the more grouchy I got, the more hyper he got. I didn't realize it until this morning when I was driving into work, brooding over the whole situation. I suspect perhaps it bugs him when I'm grouchy because it reminds him of his birthmother being in a foul humor and I imagine that caused her to drink more, and/or be more abusive to him. Even though I am never abusive, I can see perhaps there's a bad association there. I need to learn to be more calm.

Alesia and I got into this morning. We finished up breakfast and I said to her "We need to go upstairs and get dressed." We were both in gowns and robes. I got up and headed for the stairs and she followed behind saying "I need to go upstairs and get dressed?" in a somewhat snotty tone. I said "WE need to go upstairs." She said again "I need to go upstairs?" Now I was getting irritated. "No, WE! for heaven's sake!" She shot back "You don't have to say it in a mean way!" By then we were upstairs. "I wasn't being mean!" I said, exasperated.

When we were driving to school, I reminded her she often doesn't understand what I say and I have to repeat it. That doesn't mean I am being mean. She is way too sensitive. It's maddening sometimes. I will try to explain something and she will say "You're being mean!" and I'm not. Sometimes I just try to be detached, but that doesn't work either. Then she gets really upset. So then it becomes a case of me being the Villain. The other day she said I was a monster. I think she was half-teasing, but then again there may have been some truth to it. I'm not a monster. She may just think of me that way. I cannot fathom why.

When we have rows like this morning I get this picture in my mind of her packing her bags and leaving when she turns 18 next year, and it fills me with dread and panic. It's an irrational fear, I know, because she will have 2 more years of high school, but I worry that she will listen to bad counsel from others, and head off.

We have our work cut out for us in therapy.

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I found an interesting blog today, about cooking:

http://www.southernplate.com/

I always enjoy perusing cooking blogs, but I also find them a bit intimidating. I do not have the patience to take step by step photos of my cooking process.

Also, a lot of my favorite recipes are ridiculously simple.

For those of you on low carbs, here's an easy one. Take chicken tenders, wash and salt them, and put them in a shallow baking dish. Wash and slice mushrooms on top of them. Cover with heavy whipping cream and a heavy sprinkling of parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 for an hour, uncovered. Simple, huh?! I made it last night. [I think this is on my Recipes page but I'm not sure]

Now, if you want to make it a little more rich [!!] dip the chicken tenders in melted butter, then dredge in flour, and brown in the skillet a bit before cooking.

I also sauteed some yellow squash and onions in garlic and olive oil, and we had some pasta, and sliced peaches as a dessert.

Do you have an easy, family-pleasing dish you would like to share? If so, please leave it in a comment and I will publish it.

When I was a kid we used to sometimes make hot BLT's but without lettuce. We would take slices of bread, put on a slice of cheese, a tomato slice, and a broken up slice of bacon on it, and run it under the oven broiler until the cheese melted. Warning: don't put lettuce under the broiler! [For my friends who are clueless about cooking...LOL] You could add hot peppers, leave off the meat, whatever. You just have to be careful and watch the oven the whole time so there is no burning.

Walking On the Edge!!

Before I start my exciting blog post I wanted to tell you something. I don't usually pay much attention to the mechanics of my blog but in a few days I will have posted my 700th blog entry! I also have almost 200 comments!

So I wanted to take a moment to say thanks for reading. Sometimes I want to start my posts "Dear Reader" but it seems to unbelievably goofy to do that, so I resist the temptation.

I am working on an essay about why I blog, in hopes it will be included in an anthology about mommy bloggers. As long as they aren't looking for something really "literary" I think I have a chance. It's forced me to think a bit about why I blog.

The blog started out because I got tired of writing multiple emails to friends and family members who wanted to know how things were going with Alesia, when she first came home. So I started blogging and made A Record of the New Normal available to only select folks. That was fine. Eventually, though, in order to publicize Jack's New Family, I realized I needed a public blog. It was scary, going public.

I often start to write about my opinions on some topic, then decide to keep quiet. I am a big ol' wussy, is the reason. I posted about my aversion to body piercings and tattoos and got some very negative comments. So I decided to avoid controversy.

I decided today to list some of my opinions. Go ahead and send the nasty comments. I probably won't print them but I hope it will make you, Dear Reader, feel smug and happy.

Things I Find Very Annoying:

1970's fashions - they looked idiotic then, so why return to those days?! why on earth should anyone with an ounce of body fat wear hip huggers? Or halter tops? Designers are soooooo lazy. Instead of the comfy caftans we SHOULD be wearing, they're going for a very annoying retro look. As long as fashion is going retro, why aren't we seeing the high-waisted plaid bellbottoms so popular when I was in middle school? or the shirts with enormous collars? where are the leisure suits?

Smock Tops that Make A Woman Look Pregnant - if you aren't pregnant, why do you want to look that way?! Anyone bigger than a size 2, WILL look pregnant in something like this:

Smart Cars - I keep seeing these zipping around on the freeways. I am all about fuel efficiency, but these things are like waterbugs on the surface of the interstate. In my huge mid-size Mazda, I feel like a lumbering Frankenstein clod next to the little Smart cars. Are they really smart, safety-wise? what would you prefer around you in a close encounter with a huge truck - a Smart car or a 1970 Catalina?

Sassy Kids on TV - I absolutely hate the Disney channel. Every time I let Mike watch TV, he wants to see Disney sitcoms. I watched 5 minutes of one the other day [Mike had the TV on while I was making dinner] and I wanted to hurl a tomato at the screen. Are all sitcom writers young punks with no children? My kids are taught to be respectful and not snotty to grownups, but that seems to be a very old-fashioned notion.

People Who Don't Keep Their Word - My kids have already figured out which of my friends do what they promise, and which ones are very casual about keeping commitments. I don't allow Michael to see his little friend Xavier because the child's mother doesn't keep her word when it comes to honoring playdates. It has hurt him. I'm trying to teach my kids this - when you say you are going to be somewhere or do something, keep your word. Be honorable.

People Who Consider Colon Cleansing a Religion - you know who you are. If I could spend half my waking hours on the potty I might agree with this view, but I can't.

People Who Think Shopping is Nirvana - to me, shopping is just somethign I have to do sometimes. It's not a sport. It's not a hobby. I know a woman who went back to work and left her kids home unsupervised just so she could have more money for shopping. Excuse me, but I believe there's a commandment on this one, something about Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods?

People Who Send Me Political Emails - I am NOT political. I'm not. I will hold my nose and vote for the lesser evil, on November 4th. I think all politicians on the national stage are morally bankrupt, and I find our whole political system out of whack and depressing. I would vote in favor of letting a computer run the country, if possible - it couldn't be bought off by special interest groups.

Emails about Praying for the Troops - I pray for my brother and all our service people EVERY DAY. If I don't send around your chain email about praying I am not a heartless heathen, OK?!

People Who Assume My Kids Are Like Most Kids - This is a little harder to explain. I overheard a woman recently ask my daughter if she likes to "hang out at the mall with her friends." She also asked me why on earth Alesia is 16 and doesn't have a driver's license.Well, first of all, Alesia is about 13, emotionally, not 16. She doesn't "hang out" anywhere in public without me around, or another responsible adult, because she is very naive and she could get into trouble without even realizing it. She is easily led into irresponsible behaviors. If someone her age offered her a beer or a joint, I am not sure if she would say yes or no. I am not sure she would remember the numbers "911" if she was in danger. She is impulsive and doesn't think about consequences. This is not her fault. It's part of the reason why she's in therapy. Just don't assume she is like every American teenager.

My son is also naive. He hardly glances across the street before darting out. His birthmom let him drink beer, and he often says he wants beer, despite my telling him he can't legally drink until age 21, and I will NEVER let him drink in my house. He likes to brag he will punch out anyone who gives him a problem. Is her serious? I know he says these things in a joking tone, but he spent his first 8 years running wild in the streets, drinking and smoking from a very early age. Fighting was common. I have to educate him about how kids his age in America should act.

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OK, so let me know if you agree or disagree. Let the games begin!