When I was in grad school, I had a neighbor who lived in my building, a high rise for married students or single grad students. I kept seeing him on the campus bus.
He was NOT attractive. He looked like Gene Shalit, with a bushy black halo of hair, and glasses - but not so handsome as Gene. He was so ugly I was intrigued.
We ended up chatting and went out a couple of times.
About the second or third date it was Easter weekend, and I asked him to come out and meet my parents, who lived on the lake near Knoxville. He was nervous because it was Easter and he was Jewish. I assured him we wouldn't pray or do anything religious.We're Episcopalian, so we didn't get real demonstrative about ANYTHING religious anyway. He was still nervous.
I had grown quite fond of him, and was wondering if he was a Possible Mr. Right. After half an hour with my parents I realized the error of my ways.
Don't get me wrong - my parents were very nice to him. HE was a social idiot. Mom asked him what his father did for a living. He sold some product, was all he could say. A bee flew by as we were sitting outside and he freaked out and screamed like a girl. When we went inside for lunch, he never put his napkin in his lap, and held his fork oddly.
I still thought we could be friends.
Our next date, we went to play tennis. I was never a skinny little thing, but I was not obese, and I liked playing tennis. He told me he had dated a lot of fat chicks - looking at me meaningfully as he said it.
OK, strike three you're out, buddy.
A week or so later I knocked on his door. He had a cassette tape of mine and I wanted it back. He answered the door wearing nothing but a tiny pair of gym shorts. Clouds of pot smoke billowed out of the apartment. I grabbed the tape and fled. He had looked like an ape on fire.
Good riddance...
I later heard he was sued for sexual harassment.
