Saturday, June 18, 2005
I feel so sad and stressed out. I cried when I got close to the manor care place today. I stayed 3 hours this morning, Alesia in tow. She was a good sport and not fussy. She mainly just watched the TV in the room.
Mom said the nurse we hired to stay with her last night did great, and she liked her. Thank goodness. I hope she can come every night.
I spent the afternoon getting some boxes unpacked and broken down, and went to the grocery store. When I went back, I went alone. Alesia stayed with Tim and Maxi again.
Mom said that she had to tinkle this afternoon and called for a nurse and nobody came for over an hour. She just had to wet the diaper, which she hates. I was so irritated when she told me that. I had told the nurse and the aide before I left to check on Mom and respond immediately if she said she needed to potty. They acted stoned, totally uncaring.
Tonight, before I left, mom said she wanted to sit on the potty. I knew it would be futile to get a nurse in there - they wouldn’t respond this morning when I was there. So I tried to just help Mom myself.
I knew she could stand up and walk two feet to the potty. She walks fine. She told me to get a nurse and I told her I could handle it. I am so stupid.
I finally spoke sharply told her and said stand up. Her legs buckled under as she stood, and she slid to the floor. Seeing her on the floor scared the hell out of me. I ran out in the hall yelling for help. Mom was groaning. It was awful.
It took 5 attendants to get Mom off the floor and back in bed. After that was accomplished I just lost it. I stood and cried for a while in the bathroom. Mom said not to worry, she was fine, etc. I felt just awful. I just am so tired of seeing her in pain. It’s torture to me.
The only good thing was that after that the nurses were much more attentive. They also said they’d call the doctor – it’s procedure. He should see her more than once a week.
Mom is better. She even read a book for a while, and asked for a crossword puzzle. However, she is pushing too hard. She said her shoulders hurt. They were late giving her the pain medication this afternoon. I was ready to slap somebody over that.
When I picked up Alesia, Maxi said she had just stayed inside and watched TV the whole 2.5 hours. I think she is sad. She knows how upset and sad I am. She knows how helpless Mother is now. She was good all day and didn’t even ask to go to the pool. Poor kid.
