8/23/05
Last Sunday I hosted a brunch in honor of a friend of mine who recently moved back to the area. I love to entertain, and it gave me a good excuse to get the house cleaned.
I was in Alesia's bathroom doing a last minute check. She was standing there watching me. I lifted up the toilet lid.
"I clean toilet, Mom!" she protested.
"Good, Sweetie, I just wanted to make sure, since we have men coming over and they may use this bathroom."
She looked puzzled.
I continued, "You know, men pee standing up?"
She still looked puzzled. Her wispy blonde eyebrows knit together and she peered into the toilet as if it contained a sea monster.
"They do WHAT?!" she said incredulously. "They not sitting down?"
"No, you know, they pee standing up." I pantomimed what a man looks like peeing. She looked horrified. I just chuckled.
"Trust me, this is how they pee. So we have to make sure the toilet is clean."
I told Mother about it today when Alesia was in the shower. She busted out laughing.
I remembered tonight that I was actually ignorant of the mechanics of male peeing until I was about 11. Then I saw it, in person. Scarred me for years.
A business friend of my father's was visiting and I walked in on him in the bathroom, by accident. I got a good look at the peeing he was doing. he was well endowed. He grinned at me. I fled. I ran up to my room and refused to leave it the rest of the weekend he was there. I was mortified with embarrassment.
Alesia got a much less traumatic introduction to it.
Pee on, guys.
[cross posted]
