Friday, September 16, 2005
I am very discouraged about Alesia. I have told her 3 times this week to bring home all her homework every day, to work on her science project, to study. Today, she came home with nothing, saying “I have no homework.”
Last night I stayed up until 10:30 to teach her Georgia Studies for a test. Then the teacher canceled the test.
I reminded Alesia last night to bring home all her science so she could do her project this weekend. I had told her Tuesday to bring home her science so we could do the project due Thursday. On Wednesday when I got home she said about science “I forgot.” On Thursday, she said the science teacher said she could have extra time.
Today, the teacher told her it was too late. When I asked her tonight, she said she didn’t bring home her science because the teacher told her she already had a zero, since she didn’t turn in her project yesterday. I tried to explain that if she didn’t learn it now, she would fail the class. I reminded her that she has to learn all the new vocabulary ever night. She just dropped her head and wouldn’t look at me.
I finally said [quietly] “Alesia, why don’t you do what I tell you? Why don’t you bring home your books and papers like I tell you, so I can help you? What am I going to do with you? I’ve tried yelling, punishment, promising rewards – nothing works.”
She just stared downward at the dining room table. I didn’t lose my temper, but it was hard.
Finally, tonight when I was tucking her into bed I said “Maybe it was a mistake to put you into 8th grade. Maybe you need to go back to third or 4th grade.” She looked dismayed.
She said “Why you put me in this grade?” I said “Because when I enrolled you in school last year they tested you and said you could go into 7th grade. I think maybe they were wrong.”
She said “Can I go to Elena’s school?” then of course I had to explain that Elena goes to a private school, and I can’t afford that.
I am trying to figure out what to do. Today, from work, I sent e-mails to several private school admissions folks today, but got no replies. I even left a message for the headmaster of Galloway School to call me – I met her last year in Russian class. She adopted a little girl even though she’s in her 50’s.
Even if I can Alesia in – to any private school - I probably wouldn’t qualify for financial aid. The school cost from $10-15,000 a year!
Miss Kerivan sent me an e-mail saying she didn’t think Alesia could pass the test to leave 8th grade. She said Alesia tries hard, but isn’t getting it. I need to call her this weekend. Maybe she can suggest what we need to do.
Maybe the problem is that emotionally Alesia isn’t ready, and subconsciously she’s sabotaging herself so she won’t have to go to high school and really start growing up. She’s bright enough to do the work, if she works extra hard to learn English. But she won’t even bring her work home, much less work extra hard.
When I told Alesia that if she gets put back a couple of grades she will be 20 or 21 when she finishes high school, she didn’t look upset. I even reminded her that after that she would have 4 year of college, and wouldn’t graduate until she was 25 or so. She didn’t look upset even then.
I keep thinking about something I was told recently by a colleague who was raised in a foreign country and studied language acquisition. She said that by the time a child is 6, language is hard-wired into their brain. They can become fluent in another language but they will never be bilingual. I read somewhere that it typically takes 6 years of intense study before a person not born here can manage academic English.
Maybe I just have to accept that, and hope Alesia can get some sort of skilled job later, and not push her towards college. Maybe I am being unfair to her.
I am mentally exhausted.
