Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I posted this on my yahoo board for single adoptive moms:
I have been concerned that Alesia is not understanding the material in school and I called a conference of her teachers. Only 3 showed up but they were the important ones - math, science, and social studies [this year it's called Georgia Studies]. None of them knew Alesia was adopted - one of them was surprised I had no Russian accent! I had to explain about the adoption because they were looking at me like I had 2 heads!
After a month in school, Alesia has a low B in Science, a low C in math, and is failing social studies. I don't know about Language Arts and Business, her 2 other academic subjects, but I think she's doing OK in there. The Language Arts teacher is Russian and also has her in an ESOL class. I am horrified by the failing grade. The teacher assured me she would grade on a curve for the ESOL students but that didn't comfort me much.
I told Alesia this afternoon that from now on I want her to bring home every book and notebook and I will check ever homework assignment every day. She didn't like hearing that. She is very independent. She is bad to do her homework at school and not bring anything home for me to check, though. She also hasn't shown me a single test or quiz yet, and the teachers assured me she has taken several. Fortunately I can check the website of the school for the homework assignments.
I am just discouraged. I thought she was doing so well. I've encouraged her to study and look up her English words every night and she's gotten better about that, but she resents me butting in on her schoolwork. She gets really snotty when I try to talk to her about it.
It's hard for me to be patient. I've explained in English [and a letter I got translated into Russian] that in my familly everybody goes to college and I expect her to go too, and she has to study NOW. I think she's never had anyone talk to her about her future.
We were in the car today on the way to the dentist and when I told her the new rule about homework she became quite sullen.
I said "Alesia you're a very smart girl, I know you can make A's and B's if you try." She replied "I'm not smart girl!" I said "I NEVER want to hear you say that again. I am a lot older and I know a lot more and I'm telling you, kiddo, you ARE smart!" She looked like she didn't believe me and said she felt stupid because she didn't understand in class. I said "Honey, Granny and I are here to help you.
If we can't, we'll find someone who CAN help you" -I was thinking about math.
I don't know how to comfort her.
I also dread having to start in and teach her the social studies lesson every night. I love history, but trying to teach is not my bag.
Also, what little free time I can eke out will fall by the wayside, even though Mother said she'd help her with the Math and Science. That is far more "hands on" than I wanted, but maybe if we can be positive about it, Alesia will view this as a challenge, rather than become too discouraged. I don't want her to give up.
I have been thinking a lot [daydreaming] about the day I can get my condo sold and finally finish paying off the adoption debt, and look at getting daughter #2. That goal seems out of reach now. There are only so many hours in the day. I wanted a 5 year old.
I am praying hard and trying not to let this get me down.
Dee
Addendum: I spent 2 hours tonight going over homework with her and it's now after midnight... Her dental appointment [first cavity filled] and 7-8 p.m. dance class screwed up the day...
