Sunday, October 9, 2005
Today is my brother’s 46th birthday. I called this morning and left him a birthday message on his answering machine. When we saw him last week in Columbia, mother and I gave him some small gifts. I can’t believe in a few years he will be 50…
It has been such a hectic week. I haven’t had the energy to write in my journal. I worked late 3 out of the 4 days I worked after we got back from the beach. I was behind in my work plus had a project due Monday. On Friday night it was almost 9 when I drove him in pouring rain and fog. It was nerve-wracking. I hate driving at night under any conditions. I was exhausted when I got home.
I have tried to get Alesia to understand this week that she can’t just memorize the words and do well in school. I give her credit for developing a better study ethic – with a lot of encouragement from me and Granny. However, she doesn’t really understand the concepts. She’s not getting enough words to make that leap. So she memorizes answers to questions, but if you rephrase the question slightly she is lost. We are going to change that. I spent several hours tonight helping her study for a science test. She had memorized all the layers of the atmosphere [troposphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, etc.] but when I asked her to define “atmosphere” she didn’t know. That’s just one example.
She doesn’t listen. She doesn’t think. She only makes a halfhearted effort at studying a lot of the time. This drives me and Mother nuts because we’re knocking ourselves out to re-learn 8th grade social studies and science so we can teach her. Plus stop every ten seconds to say things like “Do you know the word “harm”?”
After church and lunch today, I decided to alter my strategy. I made her a weekly chart. She gets 50 points a week. If she sasses us or shows a bad attitude when we ask her to do something, she loses a point. If she doesn’t yes “M’am” she loses a point. If we ask her a study question and she obviously hasn’t been listening and can’t answer, she loses a point. At the end of the [5 day] week, if she has 40-50 points still, she gets rewarded – a shopping trip, a movie in a theater, etc. If she has 21-40 points she gets nothing. Fewer than 20 points and she is punished – no TV, extra chores, etc. The chart ensures she can see tangible progress or lack of it, and she can earn rewards. Of course, I had to explain that she must behave on weekends, too, even if there are no points at stake. I think once she gets in the habit of behaving and learning it won’t be an issue. I am praying that will work!
I have read articles about such charts and always thought they might work for some kids but it sounded kind of silly, really. Now I am desperate. She seemed intrigued with the idea.
We had a longish talk tonight about accents. I told Alesia that if she wants to keep her Russian accent that’s fine, but people will never think she is American. However, if she works hard she can lose the accent and avoid the inevitable questions about being Russian and being adopted, which embarrass her. She told me recently she didn’t want me to tell people she’s adopted. I pointed out that the moment she speaks she’s clearly not from here. She’s still saying “these” instead of “this,” for example. I made it clear it’s her choice. I hope she will choose to at least try and pronounce things correctly.
Yesterday we went to the Greek Festival here at the Greek Cathedral. It was great fun. They had lots of interesting things for sale – much, much bigger than your typical church bazaar. They also had fabulous food, and Russian dancing and music. We had a great time.
Today, back to the routine.
We bought Mother one of those silly-looking huge balls, called a therapy ball – or workout ball, in some cases. Found it at Target. Her physical therapist suggested rolling it to another person across a tabletop would help. She tried it with Alesia this afternoon. It worked. This new therapist is great. She is really progressing.
I finished a good book the other day, “The Romanov Prophecy.” Sort of like “DaVinci Code” but not nearly as complicated. It hinges on a prophecy made by Rasputin before the Russian Royal family was executed in 1918 that the Tsar’s would one day again rule Russia. Good read.
As always, I am tired, tired. I do feel some optimism that everyone in my little family seems to be making some personal progress. Except me. I have to work on me...
