The Crab Chronicles

Hurrying

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I haven't had much time to do anything in the last few days, much less write. Work is at a breakneck pace as I try desperately to finish up the many tasks I need to do. I am also frantically making lists and thinking about packing. We leave for the beach on Saturday.

The house is now a bright blue. Alesia doesn't like it. I didn't like it at first, but I'm getting used to it. It's not tacky, just different. That's my new mantra.

Alesia's friend Elena came over this afternoon for a couple of hours, and she and Alesia skated and also played in the backyard. It's so good for Alesia to do that. She needs to be just a kid sometimes. It was funny on the way home, though, because Elena said "I didn't saw her at all" and Alesia interrupted to correct her "No, it's I didn't SEE her at all!" My bossy girl...

Where's the Beef?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

We have had a good day – gotten a lot done. Alesia and I planted about two dozen bulbs in the back and front yards. I ordered some new clothes for the beach. I picked up some things to take next week to the beach, etc. We also went to a brunch for newcomers at church and that was fun.

I am thinking I may have jumped the gun a bit in terms of Alesia and testing. We were in Kroger today and I started to grab some ground beef and Alesia said "No, Mom, let me pick out the beef. I know what kind to get." I waited and watched, and she picked it - ground sirloin. I was amazed. We had talked about the fact that I don't like ground chuck and how much better ground sirloin is, but only once, about two weeks ago. So she obviously thinks the right meat is important enough to remember! So learning disabilities are probably not an issue, I am guessing.

How Rich We Are!!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I met this morning with a woman named Becki who has two adopted children from Russia. Her kids have serious learning difficulties, but she was a wealth of information about small schools and tutoring programs. I so enjoyed getting to know her. She only lives 5 minutes away. I felt empowered and encouraged about Alesia's schoolwork, which was such a relief. I have been so stressed out over it.

Yesterday the school board representative told me they would only let Alesia repeat 8th grade next year, nothing else. So she won't be going back there. However, as Mother said, when God closes a door, he also opens a window. Becki was that window, this morning, God bless her.

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I want to share something that my beautiful daughter said today.

We were on a busy street and the traffic at the light was stopped even thought the light was green. There were two motorcycle cops there, stopping us and waving through some sort of motorcade or procession. I thought it might be a funeral but there were no cars with lights on and I saw no hearse.
The last cars were 3 long white stretch limos. I pointed them out to Alesia.

Alesia looked and gasped. "Wow!!"

Me: "Those are limousines."

Alesia looked at me in total puzzlement. "But why are they HERE, in Georgia?! Shouldn't they be in Washington, at the White House??!!"

I chuckled.

"Well honey we have big celebrities that live right here in Atlanta. Lots of rich and famous people. Whitney Houston lives here." I tried to remember what other celebrities live here, but my mind was blank.

Alesia: "But really, most of the famous people live in Washington and New York, places like that. We don't have a white house here!"

Me: "Well, we have some famous people here. We also have some very rich people here and they use limos too."

Alesia sighed theatrically [a trademark of hers]-
"Well, here EVERYBODY is rich! Everyone I know is rich! We're rich! I have over twenty dollars!" 

I had to laugh. I couldn't help it. I have never thought of myself as rich.

When you look at how far Alesia has come, you understand her remark. To Alesia, we are very rich. We live in a house with heat and air conditioning. We have hot water whenever we want it. We have food. We have toilet paper, and shampoo. We can eat fresh fruits and vegetables in winter. We can go to the mountains, and the beach. We can buy beautiful new clothes at Target, one of Alesia's favorite places in the world.

Whenever I get down about my money woes I am going to try and remember that in my daughter's eyes I am a very rich woman. Most importantly, even if the money disappeared tomorrow, I am rich because I have Alesia.

Coco Crisis

March 23, 2006

I called yesterday and set up an appointment for a mobile dog grooming van to come to the house and bathe and groom Coco. They are used to dealing with ailing, aged and delicate dogs. The woman starting combing Coco's fur, where there was a mat of hair, and Coco's tissue-thin skin ripped apart. Mother watched the woman. There was no horrible accident or abuse, it was just a nasty tear.

I cam home, got Alesia and Coco, and we headed to the vet's office. Fortunately, they are good and there wasn't a long wait. The doctor was not the one Coco had seen before, but I liked this guy. I said he had to pull out his books and do an internet search because he was stumped. He thinks there may be possibly several diseases or conditions that could be causing this. I told him it's the 4th time in less than a year she has had to be stitched. He stitched her up and took a tissue sample to send off to a lba for a biopsy. I am praying they will discover what causes this and we can do something. Mother and Alesia were very upset. I was upset but I just sort of went numb.

On a positive note, I got my blood test results and all results were normal. Normal cholesterol, normal sugar, normal everything.

I also talked to Dr. Phillips at the school board again, and she gave me the impression that if someone at the school recommends it, that I can get Alesia admitted to the International School in the 6th grade. It may be hard getting someone to recommend it. The teachers aren't really enthusiastic about it, nor was the counselor, but I am going to send a lobbying e-mail and try to get everyone on board with it, to understand my position.

Alesia isn't thrilled with the idea but I talked to her quite sternly and said if anyone at school asks her she is to say she is fine with going back to 6th grade. I hope she remembers that. My only good alternatives are private schools or tutors and that will mean a huge debt burden.

Botanical Gardens

Sunday, March 19, 2005

We have had a good weekend, and a busy one.

Mother and I have decided to paint the house blue. We finally agreed on a lovely dark blue color that I think will look nice.

We took Alesia to the Botanical Gardens yesterday morning and really enjoyed it. They have wonderful gardens with blooming plants, even this time of year. They have huge greenhouses with artificial climates like a rainforest, a high altitude jungle, etc. lots of birds and frogs and things. My cousin mark and his wife came along, and they are very familiar with the gardens and were excellent guides. Mark took a great photo of Alesia [see new photo] We also bought some beautiful bulbs in the gift shop, including red Canna Lilies, which I love.

We had lunch at an old Atlanta restaurant called The Colonnade. Great southern food, lots of variety. Mark had pickled beets – beets are his favorite dish. There were rutabagas on the menu! We had heard of it for years – Pat Conroy said he took his father there. The only real weird thing was they won’t take credit cards, only cash or a personal check.

We watched Defending Your Life last night, the old Albert Brooks movie. Alesia loved it. She has started actually watching kissing scenes, instead of turning away in embarrassment. That is an alarming development.

Today the highlight was that my friend Maria and her son Perrin came over for lunch, then the children went skating. We just took them down the street to the tennis/pool area, and there were no cars in the parking lot, so the skating was good. Perrin showed Alesia how to stop, and encouraged her to be more confident. He is a wonderful skater and can do all sorts of tricks. He’s also getting to be a very cute boy, although at 13 he’s a “younger man” – LOL. He and Alesia get along well, which is great. He’s very easygoing and polite.

Alesia really made some careless errors on her Kumon assignment tonight. I gave her a lecture about being more careful, and talked about the consequences if she doesn’t do well in school. She’s not learning her English words every day like I have asked her to do, either. [I read a chapter in the Love and Logic book, so I focused on explaining actions and consequences.] I tried to get her to understand that SHE will be the one who suffers if she doesn’t get moving on her language work. I don’t know how much good it did.

I get so discouraged sometimes because I think, what if she never gets the point? What if she only gets to about 10^th grade in school and can’t go any farther? I hate the thought of her doing some awful, menial job for the rest of her life.

Venezualan Food

Friday, March 17, 2006

Just before leaving for work I remembered it is St. Patrick’s Day and I found a blouse with some green in it and wore it. I don’t know why it was so important – it’s not like one of those brilliant and wonderful chain e-mails that promise good luck if I follow orders. No, it’s just green clothing.

Used to be the best place to find green was my refrigerator. That has changed since moving in with Mother. Now after every meal we carefully scrape the leftover food into little plastic containers and put it in the fridge, so it’s not wasted. About 3-6 days later I poke it down the disposal in the sink so we will have room in the fridge to put more food we won’t finish. My brother used to say about his fridge, while married to his crazy wife, “It’s where vegetables go to die.”

I cried all the way to work. It was very difficult to get anything done. I have so many fears about Alesia’s school situation, and a possible FAE diagnosis [fetal alcohol exposure]. I did contact a clinic at Emory that can test her to determine if she has FAE. We have an appointment in June for a day of testing. A month before that I have to go in for an interview with a social worker. They are thorough. I hope and pray I’m totally wrong and she is perfectly normal.

I also talked to a lady at the Lullwater School, a private school very close to our house that specializes in learning disabled kids. They are less expensive than Howard, and closer, but they are tiny – 30 kids in the whole school. The student teacher ratio is 5:1. I’m sure that’s good, but this is a bare bones school – they rent space in a Methodist church. I can go talk to them, at least. Couldn’t hurt.

I talked to my real estate agent about dropping the price on the condo so it will sell. It’s been on the market over a year. I can’t drop it too much, though, or I won’t be able to pay off the second mortgage. I am thinking of running an ad in the paper before I drop the price. I hate the thought of not making any profit on it.

I had lunch with my friend Tina at a tiny Venezualan restaurant. Food was very tasty; reminded me a bit of Cuban food. I had black beans, rice, a pork slice, friend plantains, and something called a “reyhado”? or something. It was the Venezualan version of cornbread, but shaped like a pancake. Tina and I talked nonstop the whole time. She was good therapy for me. Her baby came from Russia 3 months ago and he is adorable. I was telling her about my fears for Alesia and FAE and she recommended the doctor at Emory with the clinic where Alesia will be tested.

I have had a lot to absorb today. I came home and watched “L.A. Story” and old Steve Martin movie that’s silly and cute. Good therapy.

Mom said Alesia was skating up a storm after getting home from school. I will post a photo of her I took last weekend. [See photo album]

School Dazed

Thursday, March 16, 2005

I met this morning with Alesia’s teachers, the school counselor, and the school psychologist. I liked the psychologist a lot. He is a young man and looks like Tim Robbins [but I didn’t hold that against him]. We got there a few minutes early and I was able to fill him in one Alesia’s background and her poor school history.

The counselor was nice, but very negative about Alesia being held back further than 8^th grade.

The teachers were very positive about Alesia as a good student who tries hard, but they agreed with me she isn’t ready for high school next year. I told them the principal was pretty negative to me and just gave me the name of the person at the school board in charge of retaining students.

The most disturbing thing they said to me was to tell me about Alesia’s memory problems. The math teacher said she can explain a math concept to Alesia and she can demonstrate she understands it, but when she’s asked again a few minutes letter she hasn’t retained the information.

I have done some research on FAE [Fetal Alcohol Exposure]. Alesia’s mother was an alcoholic and there’s a good chance she drank while pregnant – it’s quite common in Russia. Although Alesia doesn’t show the physical symptoms of FAS [fetal alcohol syndrome], she does have some problems. Here’s an excerpt from a website:

“Even more troublesome, prenatal alcohol exposure also affects brain development, and children with a range of FASD symptoms often have significant trouble with speech and language skills, memory, attention and behavior and emotion functions, Goldson said.”

It’s very depressing to think about.

I am going to have Alesia tested for learning disabilities. There are a couple of private schools here that specialize in kids with learning disabilities. I have an appointment to tour one of them on the 28th, and I am going to talk to another school tomorrow, that's closer but not as impressive.

I pray I am wrong and she’s not learning disabled, just having problems with language and poor schooling in Russia.

Mother felt very good after the school meeting. I didn’t. I feel like I’m still fighting an uphill battle. It was very hard to concentrate the rest of the day at work.

Blah Monday

Monday, March 13, 2006

I got my big Success Sharing bonus at work today - $171. Whoopee. That almost covers the costs from last weekend's buying binge for Alesia. What's so irritating is that Home Depot makes billions of dollars a year, pays it's executives more than the Sultan of Brunei, and pays the people like me - who really keep the company going - a pittance. I had to wear my apron to a little pep rally this morning just to get my lousy check.

Alesia was in a very good mood tonight when I got home, which surprised me. She had a lot of homework. She apparently zipped through it pretty quickly. I don't think she's being real careful and giving it her best effort, but that will change once I redirect her to more understandable work. She's zipping right along with the Kumon.

Below is a post I did for my Yahoo Single Moms group, just thought I'd share.

I am a member of NetFlix, and it has changed my life. I pay for 3 movies at a time, and I get them in the mail, watch them, and mail them back in the envelope provided. No more frustrating cruising around Blockbuster or worrying about late fees. They have a HUGE selection of films, too.

Thank God Alesia is as big a movie nut as me.  :)

I am a serious movie-fanatic [though I can't stand most television]. Alesia is not allowed to watch TV on weeknights but if she is good she can watch part of a movie after dinner. Rarely do we get to watch a whole movie in one sitting unless it's a weekend.

I say all this because I want to propose a little exchange of information. I have "discovered" several small films that are very entertaining, and I want to mention them below. If you have any similar movies you like a lot but people rarely rent, please reply and tell us the titles. I can look them up.

I tend to like "chick flicks" that have good characters and dialogue, not so much action films - though I will watch them and there are some I really like, like Independence Day.

Anyway, here are my movies:

Truly Madly Deeply
British comedy about a woman whose husband dies, then comes back to
haunt her, moving in with his scruffy ghost pals who are annoying

The Boyfriend School [a/k/a Don't Tell Her It's Me]
Romantic comedy with Steve Guttenberg playing the brother of a romance
novelist whose sister gives him a "makeover" to woo a woman [bonus on
this one - it was filmed near Charleston]

Jack and Sarah
Another British romantic comedy, about a young father of a baby whose
wife dies, and he hires an American nanny.

Joe Versus the Volcano
This was made years ago and stars Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, in the
least-known effort together. It's very quirky but sweet and funny.

Being John Malkovitch
You probably know of this one. Very very weird, very funny. Stars John
Cusack, whom I adore.

Update

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I'm really tired and don't feel much like posting, but here is an e-mail I sent earlier to a friend of Mother's who reads my blog:

I am reading a book called Love and Logic, Raising Teens - it's a good book, but it basically aims to correct parents who are not strict enough, which is not my problem. One thing it does say that I like is that sometimes you have to let kids screw up and NOT bail them out, not be so overprotective. I agree with that. If they never experience negative consequences of their foolish actions, they will never learn.

I like to SAY I am like a drill sgt. but it's not really the case. Alesia knows I adore her and we talk all the time. I also mark off points on a behavior chart most of the time instead of yelling or punishing. So far her worst punishment has been not to see one of her friends on one occasion. I also send her to her room or deny her TV or movies - none of those are really onerous things.

You asked about home schooling. I don't have time to do it myself. If we do home schooling I will hire a tutor. Mom and I talked about it and it would probably be for the best. She's not too patient these days, but she's in pain and on pain meds a lot. If we could find a college kid or someone not too expensive to just guide Alesia through a review of all the curriculum from about 4th - 8th grade that would be ideal.

I spoke to Alesia's Kumon [tutor] teacher and she said Alesia is doing really well and progressing quickly. I told her Alesia is always in a great mood after a Kumon session, and it's clearly helping her reading. Math I can't tell yet, but she tends to go too fast and miss things carelessley. Kumon's approach is to drill the kids in basic stuff until they are perfect until moving up a level. It's a very successful program, it just doesn't advertise, unlike Sylvan.

One of Alesia's saving graces and the reason I wish I could persuade more people to adopt older kids, is that she cherishes us. We were sitting down to lunch in a local mexican restaurant yesterday and I said "What do you like to do, or what are you doing?"  - I can't remember which - and she said "I like to spend time with my Granny and Mom. I like being part of a family."  how many 14 year olds do you hear saying that?

Skating Girl

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Alesia got her first pair of skates today.

We went to Kumon this morning, then picked up Granny and went to Frontera for an excellent lunch. I don’t even like Mexican food but I liked it.

We took Granny home, and I decided to run by the Sports Authority that is near our house, and just see if they had some skates. Alesia tried on a pair of quad skates [like I wore as a kid] and was pretty wobbly on her feet. She insisted on trying on a pair fo in-line skates. I thought well, she will try them and hate them, and we will get the quad skates. What an idiot I am. She liked the in-line skates and actually did better on them. I forgot she has long skinny feet, unlike me.

Then, like an idiot, I finally thought to look at the price tag for those light blue skates she loved - $100. Yikes. Plus she needed a new helmet and knee pads - $154 all together. She was very happy and excited, though.

We came home and it was a beautiful day – temps in the high 70’s. Alesia put on her skates, pads, helmet, etc. and had a great time skating around in the driveway and in front of the house. She skated over to the neighbors’ house, and in their driveways – nobody fussed, maybe because I was right there.

I ran along beside her and caught her several times. She fell a few times but not bad, not even any scrapes or bruises. She is able to brake, and she zips over to the grass when she feels wobbly.

We went to Target and bought her some new underwear and pants. I can get her more after payday next week. She also needs a new bathing suit – she reminded me as we were walking out the door. I will wait on buying that closer to the trip.

We watched a very funny little movie tonight called Kung Fu Hustle. It didn’t make a lot of sense but it was not boring and was very funny, even with subtitles. The violence was all pretty stylized and cartoonish at times.

I am really sore from running around with Alesia, trying to keep her from bad falls on the skates. She has been in a really joyous mood all day, though, which is great.

Yesterday evening, Alesia went to see her friend Elena and hang with her family, and I met my friend Maria and we saw “Failure to Launch,” the new romantic movie with Matthew McConaughey – he’s such a doll, when he looks bathed and shaved - he looks dirty in some of his movies, and of course that’s a turn-off. In real life he’s kind of a nut, but I don’t care. The movie was about a 35 year old man that won’t move out of his parents’ house, so they hire a woman to entice him to leave. It had a lot of really funny, original laughs. My brother needs to see it just for one bizarre and hilarious scene in a gun store.

Lots to do tomorrow, including Alesia’s youth group.