The Crab Chronicles

Blogahholic Entry

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

So much has happened in the past few days since my last post, I hardly know what to start with – so I’ll hit the highlights.

Mother and I made a decision on Saturday to stop taking Alesia to Kumon. She was moving too slowly and the lessons were boring her, and I just can’t afford to pay for Kumon and tutoring for the next year. Bronwyn and I will muddle through with the math until it gets too complicated [about 7^th or 8^th grade level, for me] and we will re-assess when necessary. I told Bronwyn hiring a tutor just for math is certainly an option.

Sunday was a family day. My aunt and uncle, Don and Jane Hasty, were in Acworth visiting their daughter. We got up fairly early and rode up to Acworth and went to my cousin Linda Hasty Harris’ church – she is Don & Jane’s daughter. Her husband Bryant is the minister. We went to the 10:30 Praise service, not the more formal 9:00 service. The 10:30 service is very informal. Bryant played the guitar and we sang praise music, looking at a big screen with the words on it. I wished it had shown the actual music, but it wasn’t too difficult catching onto the melodies. Linda’s daughter Jenny just graduated from high school and she sang and played the piano during the offertory. She has a very good voice, and a lot of poise for such a young person. Bry gave an excellent sermon. I wish we lived closer and we could visit more often. Afterwards we went to lunch at Appleby’s, and got a chance to visit. Poor Alesia had started her period and had the cramps and really didn’t feel good.

I spent a lot of time Sunday afternoon watering the yard. I sweated buckets. It was sooooo hot here. It still feels like July, not May.

Yesterday I was hoping for a very leisurely day, with nothing on the agenda except some laundry. Turned out fate had other plans. My friend Lesleigh called and said she finally was ready to leave her boyfriend. She said she would take me up on the offer to stay in the condo temporarily while she gets her life sorted out. Bruce came in town yesterday and we went and helped Lesligh move out of her boyfriend’s apartment. I was so glad Bruce helped, not just because he is strong and has a truck, but also I was afraid Lesleigh’s boyfriend would be abusive. He has been awful to Lesleigh and she is well rid of him. She just got laid off from her job, though, so she has a ways to go to get back on her feet, financially as well as emotionally. I told her she can stay in the condo until it sells, or perhaps she can buy it when she gets a new job. We shall see. I’m praying about it. Her parents are out of town but even when they are here they don’t help their kids much, which puzzles me.

I got up really early this morning and went in to work, starting at 7:30. I left at 4, because I wanted to have a chance to visit with Bruce. We took more things to the condo for Lesleigh. Her brother is coming in town tomorrow and he will help her, too. Alesia had dance class, and I watered the yard while she was there. We grilled steaks and Lesleigh came over and ate with us.

When I picked up Alesia from dance, she said another little girl in the class had given her a bracelet. The child has Down’s Syndrome and I think the mother was trying to say Thanks because Alesia and the other girls were very sweet to the Down’s child. Anyway, I said to Alesia “Did you remember to tell Nikki thank you?” and she rolled her eyes and said “No Mom, I went up and slapped her!” I busted out laughing. We are so sarcastic, she has picked up on it. She is truly a Thompson now.

I must confess something. I have become a blog-aholic. I have several I read regularly, mostly by friends or friends-of-friends, but sometimes a new one seems interesting. These are food blogs I like:

This is one for foodies who like to read about recipes published in tony places like the NY Times but tried out by real people: http://wednesdaychef.typepad.com/

This is one for a journalist who interviews celebrities but is also very funny: http://janceedunn.typepad.com/

This is one by a woman who gave up being a Mormon and a boring office job and now is a SAHM [stay at home Mom] to a 2 year old. Doesn’t like funny, but it is: http://www.dooce.com/

So now you can see that when I am bored reading my 5,000 daily e-mails from the various message boards I belong to, I turn to the blogs for my infotainment…

DaVinci Plus More

Saturday, May 27, 2006

What a hectic week it has been. I have been so slammed at work, and I can’t seem to get ahead. I seriously considered working some this weekend, but I needed some real time off.

I saw the movie The DaVinci Code last night. It sort of simplified the book, but it also made a lot of the historical details really interesting with onscreen depictions of the Priory of Scion, etc. I had thought Tom Hanks wouldn’t be good in the part, but he was credible. I do think other actors would have done better because Hanks just looks tired when he’s not being funny. It was an engaging film, whether or not you believe in the premise. I just read a scholarly article in the Smithsonian that argues that Mary Magdalene was, in fact, much closer to Jesus than the bible tells us. She was a real leader but the early church wanted to marginalize women so they downplayed her role, even to the point of Pope Gregory lying about her being a prostitute. I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure what happened between Jesus and Mary, but it doesn’t change my faith one iota.

 I had a serious talk today with Alesia about her tutoring this summer, and preparing her for high school. She was doing some educational puzzles on the computer and at one point got frustrated when I tried to help her, and said “I don’t want to do this any more!” So I had to reinforce how important it is for her to concentrate on her tutoring and move quickly through the material. I made up a little contract and had her sign it. She promises to master new scholastic skills every day and learn new English words every day. I ended it by saying “I understand that I am agreeing to these things because Mom, Granny, and Bronwyn all love me very much and want me to do well in school.” She looked embarrassed when I read it to her and asked her to sign it.

To make her feel better, I drew up a little contract for myself and promised to eat healthy foods and exercise. She read it and watched me sign it. Now I have to be the shining example of living up to a contract. I don’t know what possessed me…

We went to Sports Authority this afternoon and, after tromping all over the store, we finally found a badminton set, and we got a volleyball. I am going to set the net up in the back yard, so Alesia and I can get out and play. I need the exercise, and I always liked both sports. I just hope the guys coming next week to dig the sewer lines don’t mess up the net.

Bruce called the other night and said he would come home next week for a couple of days. I hope he keeps his word. Alesia knows he has a new bicycle for her.

Horace came over and helped me with cleaning out the garage. The prior owners of our house had left a lot of tiles and shutters from their renovation projects, and Horace said he wanted them. There’s enough tile to re-do an entire room. He also took a couple of extra doors that were in our way. I am hoping we can get the garage really cleaned out and organized, soon. I want to work out there on Monday, since I have the day off.

Funny Girl

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

We went to the grocery store Sunday afternoon, and Alesia wanted to argue about everything. Particularly egregious are the arguments over foods that she THINKS she likes, or will like. She has done this before, then we get home and she takes one bite of said food item and goes YUCK. Anyway, this has been a source of contention for a while now. I have informed her she must eat all of any such food, as we will waste no more food.

When we got in the car to go home from the store, it was relatively peaceful. I tease her sometimes about being so argumentative and growing up to be a lawyer some day [horrors!!]. So I said “Wow, it’s been almost a minute since you argued with me.”  Her reply? “It was more than a minute!” I had to laugh. “You’re still arguing, Kid!”

Alesia has developed a cold sore on her lip, a recurring problem for which I have prescription medication for her. I found the bottle last night and gave her a pill at bedtime, and said “Now tomorrow you must take four of these.”  She got settled into bed, then suddenly jumped up and grabbed a sticky note and wrote on it and put it outside her door. I looked at it and the note said “Mom! Don’t forget the pill for THE LIP!”

This morning, I discovered she has been putting antibiotic cream on her lip, Neosporin. She told me last night she was putting “The cream on The Lip” but I assumed it was Abreva or Anbesol. When I realized this morning that it was Neosporin I got po’d and yelled at her, and she argued right back at me. I tried to calm down and explain she must not ingest Neosporin as it might hurt her. She must not use anything on her lip not specifically meant to be used on The Lip. She continued to be defiant and I confess I yelled at her some more about not arguing all the time. Some of it is just PMS.

I finally calmed down and when we were in the car going to school, I pulled over, took a deep breath, and said “You know, Alesia, even though I get angry with you sometimes, I will always love you and you will always be my daughter.”  This is what the parenting book I read said to do, reassure adopted children of this a lot, so they feel secure. The conversation continued:

Me: “I will always love you, even if you decide to go live with the Eskimos and I never see you again.”

Alesia:  “I’m not planning to do that any time soon.”

Me: “I know you are angry, but I will always love you, even if you hate my guts.”

Alesia: ”What are guts?”

I pointed to my stomach and tried not to laugh. I could almost hear her thinking “Why would I hate your stomach?!” I said lamely “It’s an American expression.”

Just when I am at my wits’ end she says something so inadvertently funny that I am stopped short. I can usually keep a straight face. Not always. The other day she said “Why you always laughing at me?!”  I said “You’re a funny kid.” She replied “I am not funny!”

Safety

Saturday, May 20, 2006

I had to go into work for a while this morning and try to get caught up. I have been so distracted with all the adoption paperwork that I have gotten behind. I have a meeting with my boss on Monday afternoon to discuss all my cases. I got a lot done, with nobody there to distract me.

I took Mother and Alesia and Bronwyn to lunch. Bronwyn and I had a good discussion, mapping out the plan for the summer tutoring. I went online and ordered the curriculum from a homeschooling outfit called Alpha Omega. I just ordered the testing, language arts, science, and history, not math. She will get that from Kumon. Bronwyn will be with her as she does the computer learning and gets through the curriculum. The CD-ROM program is supposed to be very visually stimulating, and since Alesia is a visual learner I am hoping this will spark her interest. I want Bronwyn there to make sure she is doing it right, though, and help her with vocabulary. I also want her to work with Alesia on regular reading and vocabulary building. I am praying it will work out well - I think it will.

We had a MAJOR discussion this afternoon about being safe and not wearing provocative clothing. Alesia kept crying because she felt like I was being unfair to not let her wear tiny short shorts out in public. I kept trying to explain to her about the important of being modest and not inciting lust in wicked men. I finally just started crying myself. Mother made us both come downstairs and she talked to us and got us calmed down. Once Alesia realized how genuinely upset I was, she calmed down. I just don't know if I got through to her the idea that she is a beautiful girl and she MUST be careful for her own safety.

The worst part was trying to get Alesia to understand that no, not all men are bad and will want to kidnap and rape her, but SOME men are, and she must be vigilant. So many young girsl wear things that make them look like hookers. It was also hard trying to explain words like "vulnerable" and "provocative" and even "rape."  Then I had to backtrack and say sex is a beautiful thing between two people who love each other and are committed to one another, etc. I didn't want her to think every man who stares at her is some violent rapist. She is a bit like Forrest Gump sometimes and takes things quite literally.

By the time we left for our Target shopping expedition she was much more calm.

Alesia tried on 8 pairs of modest pedal-pushers, but she only liked two pairs. That means she only has a total of three pairs of non-long pants I will let her wear in public. When we were looking at pants, we looked at some that were a couple of sizes too big and had a rather generous "seat" as my grandfather used to say. Alesia looked at them and made a face. "Mom! They're too BIG. My butt doesn't HANG like that!" I just laughed. I then said "WAIT 20 years, my child. Wait."

I bought a printer for the computer I'm going to put in Matthew's room, and it's a snazzy one that is also a copier and prints photos! We checked out the price of the printer ink cartridges, and they're not too bad - less than the printer I have. I want the computer to be totally usable. Alesia loves computers and I think will be fascinated by it.

By contrast to the dramatic afternoon, after the Target trip I was happy to get home and do yard work and bathe the dog, even though I sweated a lot through both chores! Our little garden looks like it’s going to give us an abundance of fruits and veggies this summer. I just wish our little watermelon seeds would sprout. Alesia loves watermelon.

Coco put up with the bathing very well. Her hair has gotten really long but we dare not groom her. I told Alesia that while I'm at work tomorrow morning, she must try to carefully pick out Coco's mats and trim the hair around her face. She has the patience to do it.

Stay tuned...

Paper Pregnant

Friday, May 19, 2006 [lunch hour at work]

 

I just finished eating five of the hottest hot wings I have consumed in many years. I have sweat pouring off my face and my lips feel like they have been attacked with a blowtorch. The weird thing is, I got these downstairs in the Home Depot employee cafeteria, where the #1 cooking rule is, Make It Bland As Babyfood. They should put a warning label on the foods that defy that directive – “WARNING: this food item was gleefully concocted by a Cajun chef whose mantra is “Make ‘em sweat!”

Yesterday was a traumatic and eventful day from he** in which I got very little done. I spent the morning running Mother and myself to the dr. for our adoption checkups [more on that in a minute] and then worked the phones most of the afternoon. I had called and gotten Mr. Plumber to go out and fix the problem of The Smell from Hell – the raw sewage drainage issue discovered Monday. The first team drained the leakage from under the house yesterday afternoon, and put lime down there, so no more smell. The second team came out and told mother they had to dig up the back yard, there were horrible problems, etc. She called me, very upset. After calling a friend’s husband and telling him the situation, I called mother and told her to pay off the Mr. Plumber idiots and tell them to leave. She did. I called a man recommended by my friend’s husband, and they came out today. They told Mom it was a simple problem and they’d have it fixed tomorrow, in a couple of hours. We were both relieved. I’d like to slap those Mr. Plumber jerks!!

I had to have a talk with

Al

esia last night at dinner. She was running around the house wearing short shorts yesterday when the men were there, and Mother told her to get upstairs and she didn’t obey right away. I explained to

Al

esia about men wanting to abduct and rape pretty young girls, and told her the Elizabeth Smart story. I believe in being blunt. She is so naïve, I have to make her understand danger, and how to be careful, because she just doesn’t get it unless I scare her. I told her [at a different time] about trying a class in Choi Kwang-Do, a martial arts class, and she was enthusiastic about the idea. The teacher was very nice on the phone, and said it was good exercise and a good way to learn some self-defense moves. He has a 14 year old daughter and he understands – his daughter is a black belt. It’s the same school where she takes dance, which is 5 minutes from the house.

Mother and I went to the doctor yesterday and got the medical forms filled out and signed for the adoption. I had to get a form for the homestudy for me, and a Kazakh form for the Kazakh dossier. Mother just had to get a medical clearance for the homestudy since she lives with me. They were pretty simple forms, just asking about medical history and current health. The doctor said she has done them many times for adoptive parents. Other than obesity I am actually very healthy, and I don’t have high blood pressure or high cholesterol, or anything. They did a TB test and I don’t have TB. I am also trying very hard to lose some weight. I have lost a little, but I am redoubling my efforts.

After that, I took Mom home, then had to run by the

DeKalb

 

County

courthouse. I had to get a certified copy of the deed to my house which lists me as a co-owner with Mom.

Kazakhstan

differs from

Russia

, because

Russia

didn’t require that. It was easy getting the deed – only tough part was finding a parking place, and the whole thing took me 5 minutes once I got inside. Everything is computerized now and it’s so much easier than it used to be. I remember having to find and copy deeds 21 years ago when I first became a paralegal, and it was miserable – huge heavy, dusty old books, waiting for bad, expensive copies, enduring all the wizened old men smoking cigars everywhere. The men were always nice about helping me, but the cigar smoke was rank in there.

Early this morning I took

Al

esia to the doctor because her doctor has to sign a form for the homestudy saying she is healthy and up to date on her immunizations. They were very nice about it when I called, but pointed out she was due for more immunizations, which I didn’t know. They did the letter for me.

Al

esia got 3 shots, poor kid. She whined about it a bit. We stopped on the way back to school and she got a bagel and a Sprite, which helped her spirits considerably. In the car she kept saying “Take your time, Mom. I don’t need to be back at school any time soon!” LOL

When we walked into the pediatrician’s office this morning, there was a youngish man [30’s] in the waiting room, reading a cute story to his little boy, who looked about 3. The daddy was so sweet to the child, and read very well and with a lot of expression.

Al

esia sat down nearby and listened attentively. I looked at her and she smiled at me. I got this big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I felt such sadness and regret that she and my son have no father. There is no substitute for a good father. I get teary just thinking about it. Of course, I still miss my father every day. I realized the other day when I rearranged my room a bit that I have about 5 big photos of Dad, and I look at his face every day. It hurts so much to know he cannot be a presence in the lives of my children. I know he sees them from heaven.

Al

esia actually reminds me of him a lot, and if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is…

I am getting more emotional right now in general, and I recognize it and remember the feeling, from when I was “expecting”

Al

esia. You are so scared and yet so busy, and it’s overwhelming at times. There are something like 18 documents needed for the homestudy and another 20 or so for the

Kazakhstan

dossier, and although some are just forms to be signed, many require some running around. I have to get 3 sets of fingerprints – GBI, FBI, INS. I have to provide all kinds of financial information. It will all be worth it in the end, the first time I see my son sleeping in his bed. Only other adoptive parents understand this weird “pregnancy” feeling I am going through – it’s actually called a paper pregnancy. I cry at commercials, spend too much time obsessing over the child’s room, eat erratically, surf the net for educational software and toys, etc.

Keep praying I can get him home before Christmas!

Granny Chill

May 17, 2006

When I got home tonight Mother was in a tizzy trying to cook dinner and she had been outside and gotten mosquito bites and wanted to scratch them, but not burn dinner. After listening to her for a moment, and me trying to soothe her, Alesia looked at Mother and said sternly, "Granny, chill OUT!" We just laughed.

Coco is the funniest dog. She almost never goes outside, and she likes to take the tiny milkbone dog bisquits we give her as treats and hide them. Tonight Mother found one in the toe of her shoe! We find them under sofa cushions, in our beds, etc. Coco could survive for a week in the house if left on her own - not that we would ever do that of course...

Things are still stacked up at work, and getting further and further behind. Feels like I’m swimming upstream through mud, there.

On a more positive note, I posted this on my yahoo site tonight:

Things are rocking along. I got my employment verifications today, and tomorrow I am getting the medicals done, and I have to get a copy of the deed to my house. In some ways Kazakhstan is easier, in some ways harder. I got my homestudy reference letters, and the autobiographical update took about 15 minutes. I have to go to the police station next week and get my fingerprints AND Mother's, and on June 6 I get the ones for the 171H. The homestudy should be finished in a couple of weeks.

We got my son's room almost ready for him! It looks so nice. I got a muted blue/green plaid comforter, very LL Bean looking. My father collected cowboy hats, and I've collected some baseball caps and campy hats over the years, so we ordered racks and hung the hat collection. We hung a Remington print of a cowboy over the bed. Mother contributed her precious teddy bear collection, atop a little toy chest that was mine growing up, and Alesia contributed some books. He will sleep on the iron spindle post bed my grandfather bought for himself and my grandmother in 1923 for $11 - an iron bed I grew up sleeping in that has stood the test of time! There's also a painting in there by my uncle. It's a room filled with special things. We installed a new ceiling fan, and on Friday there will be w small, new desk, and next week hopefully a good used computer - for both kids to use.

I am just so impatient for him to be home. I am hoping and praying I can take 2 or 3 months FMLA leave and help him with his English a lot when he gets home. Alesia has promised to help, too. She is excited.

My friend the Delta pilot got us buddy passes for the Atlanta to Frankfurt leg of the trips, which helps tremendously. Too bad they are phasing out that program - I got spoiled in business class when I used those passes to bring Alesia home. You really get pampered.

Keep us in your prayers that things will continue to go smoothly!

Dee

House for Barbie, Room for Matthew

Sunday, May 14, 2006
We have had a very good weekend, and accomplished a lot here at home.

I spent a lot of time yesterday switching furniture around and getting Matthew’s room ready for him. We bought a new comforter and pillow sham set in more masculine colors, a blue/green plaid look. We still have to put up the new ceiling fan and get his little desk assembled and clean out the closet, but I think that can be done pretty easily. It’s a little tricky to make the room like like a boy, but not a little boy and not a teenager. Ten is an awkward tweener age as far as decorating, but that’s OK.
I moved the dresser/mirror combination from Matthew’s room to mine and gave him my tall dresser. I also moved in the extra bookcase from his room to mine. My room actually looks much better with this arrangement. It’s nice to have the dresser/mirror, as it was made in the 1920’s and belonged to my father’s mother, whom I was named for.

Alesia and I went to Sunday school and church this morning. She wore her new pink/white skirt and white blouse from Talbot’s we got a couple of weeks ago. She looked very cute. The skirt has a built-in slip and she was delighted. She had never seen a slip before. The kids in her orphanage dressed like ragamuffins, the caretakers were poor and dressed shabbily, and most young Russian women dress like hookers. So she knows nothing about decent clothes and coordinating outfits. She is learning, though.

The bishop was at church today and the service included confirmation. I was glad Alesia saw that. I haven’t been able to talk her into even getting baptized, but I try to gently lead her that way. She asked me today if she chose to be Episcopalian if she would have to be that for the rest of her life. I said no, when she grows up she may find a church she likes better, and she can join it if she likes. She still has a hard time with God. She is highly suspicious of anything she can’t experience with her 5 senses, and demands proof for everything – sometimes it’s a real pain. Mother and I discussed this today. That skepticism probably was a great survival skill when she was an orphan. It’s hard to get her to trust and have faith now, though.

My mother’s day present was a cute watch with a leather band and a little silver bracelet with a heart. Alesia bought it last weekend when we were at the mall, with her own money. She also made me a beautiful card, with the following poem:

What a beautiful day
What a beautiful Mommy
I love you very much
Everywhere even in your tummy.

Pretty clever. She drew me and Mother and herself in between us. She looks like a little girl, not a 14 year old young lady.

Alesia still likes to play with Barbie dolls. Her best friend Elena likes them too, but finds it hard to admit that since she’s now 15. I told Alesia that since she and Elena were in orphanages and didn’t have dolls to play with, they’re just catching up now, and it is OK to play with dolls. Alesia and Elena made a dollhouse a few weeks ago out of an old cardboard box in the garage, but the box subsequently got rather beat up, and Alesia was upset about it. Today, I took her to Toys Rus and let her get a Barbie house. She was so delighted. She said over and over “I’m so happy!” I’ve never seen her so delighted over anything. It was almost pitiful. Nobody ever got her anything like a dollhouse, or even a doll, until I came along.

I ran to the grocery store late this afternoon, and fixed Mom a special Mother’s Day dinner, of filet mignon, spinach soufflé, and yeast rolls, with Godiva chocolate ice cream for dessert. I gave her some lotion and shower gel that smells like gardenias, and a manicure kit. She seemed delighted with it all. I also vacuumed and straightened her room, and took her “to ride” this afternoon.
Mother hasn’t wanted to get out much because she starts coughing. I am taking her to the doctor Thursday morning for the adoption medical, and I want her to get more medicine if she is still sick. She has gone through a round of antibiotics and they didn’t do much good.

I didn’t get more of the garage cleaned out, or the laundry room cleaned up, but I feel good about what I did accomplish.

Thursday Again

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mother had a bad night last night and didn’t get much sleep. I am somewhat worried about her, as the sore throat and cough are persistent. If she is not a lot better by Monday I will consider taking her back to the dr.

I didn’t even take my adoption paperwork list to work today, as I didn’t want to be distracted. It’s so hard to concentrate on work with so much happening in my personal life, but I have to get back with the program…

Alesia’s schooling for next year is still up in the air. I am debating options. I thought I had it all worked out, but Dr. Biles at the little tutoring place in Loganville fell and hurt herself and her health is a big question, plus the distance and transportation issues, plus she doesn’t return calls promptly, which is irritating. I have left about 4 messages in the last two weeks – at least two before she fell. Mother is not crazy about the idea of Alesia going there, and that’s a big factor. I trust her instincts.

I found a private school in Stone Mountain that sounds like a deal but I don’t know – tuition is high and it’s awfully tiny – 27 kids. My friend Becki is mulling over her options two, but hers are more limited as both her kids have learning disabilities. She doesn’t think much of the Stone Mountain school.

I did get a drs. Appointment made for me and Mom so Dr. V can fill out both the medical forms for the homestudy and the dossier. I also am getting a letter about my insurance coverage and a letter about Alesia’s health. I even have to get something from the vet saying Coco is up to date on her shots! Yikes!

I sent the following to my aunt and uncle, who were kind enough to write me a nice recommendation letter for the homestudy, and curious about the adoption process:

All countries have slightly difference adoption rules. Kazakhstan is, in some ways, easier than Russia, less paperwork. Some things in Kaz are a bit more of a pain. I have to prove I own a home, for instance, and I have to have a letter from the bank saying I'm a good customer. I don't think that's unreasonable - they want the kids to go to financially stable people.

I have to go over and spend two weeks seeing the child every day - this is true for all parents. I've heard they will usually let the older kids stay with the adoptive parents in the hotel. This gives me time to get to know him and vice-versa. Then there will be an adoption hearing. I am coming home afterwards. Some parents stay. Anywhere from 2-6 weeks later the adoption is finalized, and I can get his new birth certificate and passport. I can go back, or I may pay for an escort to bring him to either Almaty or the US - I will have to figure out what's cheaper, the escort or me going back.

Home Depot will let me take my vacation to go over for trip 1. When I go back [or he gets here] I can then take FMLA. All new parents - whether a child is biological or adopted - are allowed by law to take up to three months unpaid leave, and come back to the same job or a comparable one. I could also take it, for instance, if a close family member were ill and needed me to stay home. Some companies allow longer than three months. I don't know how much FMLA leave I will take - depends on finances. My company does have a $3,000 adoption grant I can get after the adoption is finalized, and that will help with expenses. Most big companies offer these.

Yes, I will have to carry approximately $8-10,000 in cash. It's not fun. I have a money belt I wear under my clothes and I carry my passport and all cash and credit cards in it. It will have to be new $100 bills. Eastern Europe and Russia are sitll cash-based societies, for the most part, and bribes are paid throughout the process though nobody calls them that. I've taken a money belt on all my trips to Russia. I pull out a little spending money and stick it in my purse, but I keep the bulk of my money in the belt, and I only take it off to bathe or sleep - then I hide it carefully. Sounds a bit like a spy movie, huh?!

The fees for the adoption are $13,000 - I get a discount because he is special needs and older. I get a $10K tax credit, and $3K from Home Depot, and I have a friend who is a Delta pilot who is giving me buddy passes for part of the trips, so that cuts down on travel expenses. So it will still end up costing me probably $5K or so out of pocket, but the rest is reimbursable.

Most people don't realize adoption is really very affordable.

Thanks again -

Love,

Dee

Trivial And Important Pursuits

Tuesday, May 9, 2006
[NOTE: I cannot figure out why the last post looked so weird...]

We had a Teambuilding Event at work this afternoon that I actually enjoyed. We played Team Trivia and my team won. We also ate pizza and cookies, and pretty much had the Mellow Mushroom to ourselves. Good deal.

I got to come home early, and Alesia and I got out in the garage and cleaned up and unpacked some boxes. The front yard had piles of stuff for the recycling service to pick up tomorrow. Mom's movers put a box labeled TRASH inside another box and sent it with her in the truck! They were getting paid by weight, so no wonder... The hard part isn't unpacking, it's figuring out where to put all the stuff once it's unpacked! I feel good about what we've accomplished, though. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as the garage is concerned.

We ordered a cute blue and green plaid bed set for Matthew's room. I am planning feverishly how to set up his room, and revise all the space in there. We have extra linens and wrapping paper in the closet, and junk under the bed, etc.

It's hard not to think about the room - I need to concentrate more on the homestudy documents and quit obsessing over the room! LOL

Books and More Books

Monday, May 8, 2006

We had such a busy weekend I had to come to work to get some rest!

I remembered this morning a funny thing I forgot to report about Saturday. We have sheet music that was my grandmother’s, that was published in the early 1920’s. Then we have books and sheet music I bought when I was taking piano lessons. I have a book of pop songs from the 70’s that includes a photo of Michael Jackson before he had all the surgery. I took it into the family room and showed

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esia and her eyes got huge and she said “THAT’S Michael Jackson?! Really?” I said “Yeah, that’s when he looked like a normal person.” LOL

Yesterday it was pouring rain so we skipped church and got some more cleaning out done – this time it was books. We went through every book in the built-in bookcase in the family room and took out all the old novels and books of Dad’s that we don’t need to keep. We ended up carting 5 big boxes of books to Goodwill! There will likely be at least three more boxes when we get the bookcases upstairs cleaned out.

It was so funny when we went to the Goodwill place in back of Northlake Mall, because I was thinking there is no way I can unload those boxes; I am just exhausted. When we got there, all we saw was one black guy with a cell phone to his ear and he seemed totally uninterested in helping us. I told

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esia to get out and open the back door of Mom’s car and see if they would help her unload the boxes. She was wearing short shorts and a little tee shirt.

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l of a sudden, three guys appeared out of nowhere and unloaded the books! Even the guy with the phone grabbed a box with his free hand!

We still have boxes in the garage, and I dread going out there, but I am determined we will get that thing cleaned out and organized in the next few weeks. I am determined to get Matthew’s room fixed up, too, in the near future. I am going to trade dressers in there and take out one of the bookcases. I think we can get it looking like a boy room without too much hassle. My new preoccupation is mentally rearranging the furniture upstairs.