Thursday, May 11, 2006
Mother had a bad night last night and didn’t get much sleep. I am somewhat worried about her, as the sore throat and cough are persistent. If she is not a lot better by Monday I will consider taking her back to the dr.
I didn’t even take my adoption paperwork list to work today, as I didn’t want to be distracted. It’s so hard to concentrate on work with so much happening in my personal life, but I have to get back with the program…
Alesia’s schooling for next year is still up in the air. I am debating options. I thought I had it all worked out, but Dr. Biles at the little tutoring place in Loganville fell and hurt herself and her health is a big question, plus the distance and transportation issues, plus she doesn’t return calls promptly, which is irritating. I have left about 4 messages in the last two weeks – at least two before she fell. Mother is not crazy about the idea of Alesia going there, and that’s a big factor. I trust her instincts.
I found a private school in Stone Mountain that sounds like a deal but I don’t know – tuition is high and it’s awfully tiny – 27 kids. My friend Becki is mulling over her options two, but hers are more limited as both her kids have learning disabilities. She doesn’t think much of the Stone Mountain school.
I did get a drs. Appointment made for me and Mom so Dr. V can fill out both the medical forms for the homestudy and the dossier. I also am getting a letter about my insurance coverage and a letter about Alesia’s health. I even have to get something from the vet saying Coco is up to date on her shots! Yikes!
I sent the following to my aunt and uncle, who were kind enough to write me a nice recommendation letter for the homestudy, and curious about the adoption process:
All countries have slightly difference adoption rules. Kazakhstan is, in some ways, easier than Russia, less paperwork. Some things in Kaz are a bit more of a pain. I have to prove I own a home, for instance, and I have to have a letter from the bank saying I'm a good customer. I don't think that's unreasonable - they want the kids to go to financially stable people.
I have to go over and spend two weeks seeing the child every day - this is true for all parents. I've heard they will usually let the older kids stay with the adoptive parents in the hotel. This gives me time to get to know him and vice-versa. Then there will be an adoption hearing. I am coming home afterwards. Some parents stay. Anywhere from 2-6 weeks later the adoption is finalized, and I can get his new birth certificate and passport. I can go back, or I may pay for an escort to bring him to either Almaty or the US - I will have to figure out what's cheaper, the escort or me going back.
Home Depot will let me take my vacation to go over for trip 1. When I go back [or he gets here] I can then take FMLA. All new parents - whether a child is biological or adopted - are allowed by law to take up to three months unpaid leave, and come back to the same job or a comparable one. I could also take it, for instance, if a close family member were ill and needed me to stay home. Some companies allow longer than three months. I don't know how much FMLA leave I will take - depends on finances. My company does have a $3,000 adoption grant I can get after the adoption is finalized, and that will help with expenses. Most big companies offer these.
Yes, I will have to carry approximately $8-10,000 in cash. It's not fun. I have a money belt I wear under my clothes and I carry my passport and all cash and credit cards in it. It will have to be new $100 bills. Eastern Europe and Russia are sitll cash-based societies, for the most part, and bribes are paid throughout the process though nobody calls them that. I've taken a money belt on all my trips to Russia. I pull out a little spending money and stick it in my purse, but I keep the bulk of my money in the belt, and I only take it off to bathe or sleep - then I hide it carefully. Sounds a bit like a spy movie, huh?!
The fees for the adoption are $13,000 - I get a discount because he is special needs and older. I get a $10K tax credit, and $3K from Home Depot, and I have a friend who is a Delta pilot who is giving me buddy passes for part of the trips, so that cuts down on travel expenses. So it will still end up costing me probably $5K or so out of pocket, but the rest is reimbursable.
Most people don't realize adoption is really very affordable.
Thanks again -
Love,
Dee
