Thursday, August 24, 2006
What a
relief. I went to the dr. this morning. She is monitoring my weight. I
had lost only 4 lbs by her scale, but at least that’s something. She
was encouraging and we chatted for a few minutes. I have been pretty
anxiety-ridden for the last 10 days or so and it’s been really hard to
stay on my diet. I am trying to get back to it today.
Coco had to
have 3 stitches in her little foot yesterday. She did well and Mom and
Alesia brought her home at lunchtime. Coco tore her bandage off last
night and we had to cone her. I hate doing that, but she tends to lick
and gnaw the wounds, and we can’t let them get infected or re-torn. She
still looks cute, in her red sweatshirt and her cone. I ordered a baby
brush and it should be here in a few days, so we can brush her hair and
try to prevent more mats.
I am
starting to get accustomed to looking in the mirror and seeing this
short-haired woman staring back at me. It still seems strange. When I
brush my hair it feels weird. I still keep unconsciously flipping my
hair back when I’m fixing to get on the phone, or leaning over, even
though there’s nothing there! I feel nutty every time I do that but old
habits are hard to break. It hasn’t been this short in many years.
I am getting
excited about going to Washington next week. I have gathered up the
records on Alesia and I still need to fill out the paperwork, but I
feel goof that we will get away for a couple of days, and find out,
finally, if Alesia has learning problems or adjustment problems and we
need to get her some help. She gets very moody, and I know that’s
typical of an adolescent, but I wonder if some of it is an aftereffect
of the institutionalization. I wonder if there are things I should be
doing that I’m not doing.
Since I
started making Alesia do pushups for being rude or sassy, she has
almost completely stopped. She has only had to do them 2-3 times. Now I
know why drill sergeants are so effective.
My anxiety
level over the adoption keeps increasing, then I get angry with myself
for being so irrational. I should know the ups and downs of
international adoption by now, and I know it’s silly to be anxious but
I can’t help it. I posted a message on an adoptive message board about
the 171H and wondering when I will get it. This was the reply I got: “Atlanta
takes about 8-10 weeks to process the approvals. Once it is approved it
then can take another week or so to receive the letter. The INS Officer
is fairly new and is really bogged down.” So my homestudy wasn’t
received until about July 28, which means it may be the first part of October before I get the 171H! Aaaargh!
I hate waiting. I try to comfort myself with the thought that Feb. or
March in Kazakhstan will be better than January, but it doesn’t help
much.
I am
re-working my children’s book to be from the perspective of a 10 year
old boy coming to America. So I e-mailed my friend Apryl and asked her
to ask her son some questions. He was adopted 2 years ago from the same
orphanage where Matthew is now. So he knows the scoop. I know this will
help me compare/contrast the two worlds, and be more meaningful to
Matthew. Below are the questions and answers:
When he was in the orphanage, did they bathe daily? ANSWER: No....only once a week. There were no bathtubs at the school orphanage-only showers.
Did they have soap and shampoo in the orphanage? ANSWER: No shampoo.... But yes, there was bar soap which was also used to wash
their hair. He remembers the soap being green and white.
Was there toilet paper? ANSWER: Yes, there was toilet paper. They were only allowed to use a small amount (about 4 inches) and it had to be thrown in the trash cans--not the toilet. The toilet paper itself was similar to the brown paper towels we have here--only with more of a crepe-paper texture.
How often during the week did he change his clothes and get clean ones? ANSWER: Right after their baths. There were no pajamas....they slept in their underwear and shirt (like a t-shirt) in the summer. In the winter they slept in their clothes or same as summer because the heat made the building so warm. They wear school uniforms on school days. After school is over they change into regular clothes. On weekends they wore regular clothes. The children had to wash their own school uniforms on Saturdays.
What was his favorite food in the orphanage? ANSWER: Pizza (but not like the pizza here-had onions, eggs, tomatoes, cheese, and on them) and hard-boiled eggs were his two favorite foods. Pizza was a special treat-maybe twice a month?
Did he eat horsemeat in the orphanage – I heard it’s standard in Kazakhstan? ANSWER: The only meat they had was the meat in the soup and sometimes sausage. He doesn't know what kind of meat it was.
How many hours a day did he go to school? [Alesia only went 4 hours in Russia] ANSWER: He doesn't remember.but a photo I have has a
schedule in the background. And it started at 8:45 and ended at 2:45.
What did he think America would look like before he got here? ANSWER: Smoother roads (a translator who had been to the US told him that.)
Not as much rain. The same amount of snow as in Kzaakhstan (Big surprise to him that there has only been one day of snow here in three years-and that there is no snow on his birthday-there was ALWAYS snow on his birthday – in January!) Nicer buildings, nicer cars - a lot of cars. He thought that everything would be nice and perfect
What was the strangest thing to him about America when he first came here? ANSWER: Tall buildings, skyscrapers, a lot of cars, WOMEN
drivers, bicycles hanging from the ceilings at Wal-mart, traffic lights that hang in the air, not as much snow (as mentioned above), the way toilets flush, air conditioning (took him a while to figure out).
I had asked him another time what he thought the US would be like. He had unrealistic expectations---that Mama and Papa would buy him anything and everything he wanted. That he could eat anything he wanted and drink all the Coca-Cola he wanted...That we never said no - and
that he NEVER HAD TO SLEEP! Lol!
Before he was adopted, had he ever:
ANSWERS
- been to a restaurant? No (That's not true now for children who have sponsors! Even some who do not have sponsors have been when someone has sponsored an outing for a group.)
- been to a movie in the theatre? No, he had never been to see a movie in the theatre until he had been in the US about a year. (The first time we took him, he asked if we brought the "remote" from home if we could "pause" and/or re-wind the movie! lol!) Again - since Antares started helping in Petro-some of the children have been to see movies in the theatre on outings!
- been to a grocery store? NO
- been swimming in a swimming pool outside or inside? Yes, a wooden framed pool at the camp-I can send you a photo
- seen American movies? [if so, which ones?] seen American cartoons? [if so, which ones?] He says yes, but can't remember the names-some of what he had told me before were ones I wouldn't have let my children watch at that age - they were American movies-but in Russian, not English.
Cartoons - Yes, Tom and Jerry (his favorite!) Winnie the Pooh (not the same Disney one we know though-the Russian one is
brown---I guess this was not an American cartoon.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (old American cartoon) They also watched. Rugrats-was another American cartoon they watched on weekends. Dr. Ahbaleet was a Russian cartoon they watched.
Below are other miscellaneous comments from him:
Other foods they ate:
For breakfast: hard-boiled eggs, bread, oatmeal (No cereal) Tea (no tea bags)
For lunch: soup,
For supper: oatmeal and other stuff (I know they had a lot of vegetables-there was a huge garden at the camp
with cucumbers, peas, potatoes..)
After supper played for an hour.
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