Saturday, October 28, 2006
Well, I finally got a notice from Immigration. It was not the 171H, it was a form letter telling us that my mother has to go to some office and get a criminal background check and then swear out a statement that she is NOT a criminal. Jeesh! They're had the homestudy more than 3 months. I guess I should be happy that SOME progress is being made!
I have taken great delight in composing the following e-mail:
Re: 1600A of Dee Thompson
Adoption of child from Kazakhstan
To Whom It May Concern:
I am single. I am trying to adopt a second child, a boy from Kazakhstan. My mother lives with me. We have gone for fingerprints twice, and the last time we were told that they were fine. Now, we are told she will have to submit to a criminal background check. Please make an appointment for her at US CIS so that a criminal background check can be done.
My mother is 72 years old and has NO criminal background. She has never even gotten a speeding ticket or a parking ticket. However, I totally understand the need to insure the safety of adopted children.
Please advise how much money I need to bring, and if I need to bring cash or a certified check. I can bring it in coins, if you prefer.
Thank you,
Dee Thompson
a/k/a The Queen of Patience
BTW, this is the toned-down version. The original was MUCH more sarcastic. I fugured what the hey, if I can give some government drone a chuckle, maybe they will give me a break.
We had a nice day. Alesia had tutoring this morning, then we went to Target this afternoon and bought my friend Gary a housewarming gift. We are going to see him tomorrow. Then we drove around a bit on West Paces, near the Gov's mansion, and stopped at Whole Foods. That place is amazing! I could've lost my mind in there. We got half the week's groceries there.
I figured we had better stop and buy food. A short time earlier we were in the car and I told Mother I wasn't much in the mood for grocery shopping. I HATE doing it. I said "Let's postpone it until Monday. Alesia's pottery class was canceled for Monday." An outraged voice from the backseat immediately bellowed 'We are NOT GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE???!!! You mean we will have to JUST SUFFER and go without FOOD for TWO DAYS!!??"
When we finished laughing I reminded her of the Thompson credo about food: "Alesia, Sweetie, you KNOW Granny keeps enough food in the house that we can live under siege for a month and never miss a meal!"
Silence.
"Oh yeah. You're right."
Earlier in the day, at Target, I had proudly carried on the great Thompson family tradition called Embarrassing Your Children in Public. My parents were the Grand Masters at this sort of embarrassment. Anyway, the Halloween goodies at Target were 30% off, so I bought a black witches' hat, to wear when I open the door. I already have a cape.
As the little guy behind the counter was checking us out, I held up the hat and said "Can I wear this hat out of the store?" He looked at me.
"Sure. No problem."
Alesia piped up, "MOM! You must take the TAG off!"
I leaned forward confidentially and looked into the clerk's eyes. "I like that big orange tag. I think that's a good look for me, don't you?"
He grinned. I heard a heavy sigh from behind me.
We had bought three big bags of candy. It really looked like a diabetic nightmare. As he heaved the last bag into a Target sack, I looked at it sadly. "Well, this is enough for me, but what will we give the poor trick or treaters?"
He laughed.
After the machine ate my debit card and spit it back, I went to work punching the usual buttons. The clerk said, "Do you want cash back?"
"Yes! But not from my account!"
With that, Alesia just turned around and walked out the door.
