October 19, 2006
Alesia was nowhere to be found when I came home tonight. She had left out on her bike 30 minutes before, Mother said. I got in the car and went looking for her, after standing in the yard calling for a while. When I got home she was here. She had gone across the street without telling me or Granny where she was. I lost it and screamed at her. She has been told several time she cannot go into someone's house without permission. I screamed and yelled. I was so upset, you cannot imagine. Well, maybe you can... I said "I know that until you came here you could go anywhere you wanted and nobody cared. I know nobody at that orphanage cared where you were. But WE care!"
She refused to say anything. I sent her to her room. I called Gabriella [the neighbor] and she said Alesia was over there just hanging, out even though her kids were at soccer practice. I said Alesia was not allowed to go inside the house any more.
I came upstairs and Alesia was sitting on a little stool in her closet, crying. I had calmed down enough so I explained that Granny and I were so worried because we didn't know where she was. She violated several rules - riding her bike without a helmet, not taking the walkie talkie, not asking permission to go inside Gabriella's house.
I said “We were worried – we didn’t know where you were. You could’ve been kidnapped, raped, murdered. I was fixing to call the police!”
She admitted she would have been worried if her little girl had done that.
Her punishment is she cannot play with Gabriella and Tom's little girls at all until Nov. 1st. Then, she can only play outside. They play in their front yard a lot.
I went in my room to change clothes and do a quick e-mail check.
After I had calmed down I went back into Alesia’s room, and held her for a few minutes. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. I apologized for losing my temper and yelling. I said “I love you more than anything else in the whole world. I couldn’t bear to lose you. I wouldn’t want to live if that happened.”
She said “Really?”
I said “Yes, of course. I love you more than anything in the world. You are my life, Sweetie.”
These are the times when I am glad my parents said things like that to me. I knew they were telling the truth.
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This was posted on my Yahoo Single Moms board – Shelly is one of my fellow moms –
