January 5, 2007
I got to sleep a little later this morning. I stayed home and supervised the cleaning of the carpets in the family room and living room. The carpets look amazing – like new! Sure hope Coco is discouraged from messing them up for a day or two. I am having my parents’ group over tomorrow night for a Russian Christmas potluck, and I wanted the house to look straight and clean. I think we will have a good turnout of folks.
I wanted Alesia to stay in her
room with Coco, keeping her out of the way. Since Bronwyn couldn’t come today
due to illness, while the carpet cleaning folks were there, I had Alesia write
out a little essay on why she likes snow. I reminded her how to write a
paragraph. She did a good job. There are only a couple of sentences we need to
fix.
I am going to try to give her
some writing assignments to work on every week. I also reminded her I want her
reading at least one book a week. I told her that once she gets to high school
she will have to be reading and writing a LOT, so she needs to get used to it.
Last night, we went through all her reading books. That little stinker has a
pile she hasn’t read. I told her there will be no more new books until she
finishes the ones she hasn’t read. I told her to get to work, and she could
probably have them all read in a few weeks. She read an entire book just today!
It was an easy one, but still, I am glad she read it. She started another one.
I just hope she doesn’t finish them all before I get paid again.
I asked for a CD for Christmas,
a new one by John Mayer called Continuum. I had heard his songs on the radio,
but not bought any of his albums. This is a terrific album. I had forgotten the
pleasure of listening to new music, and letting my mind drift a bit. His lyrics
are intelligent and the songs are mostly subtle, but with a good beat.
Listening to these songs has had
a rather wonderful effect on me the last couple of days. While listening in the
car, I have felt like the last couple of years have peeled away, and I am back
to pre-Alesia days, in my mind. Not that I want to give her back or anything. I
just feel like I’m getting back to myself, reconnecting with the person I was
before she came into my life. There was a lot I didn’t like about that life,
but there were some good things. Listening to music used to be a transcendent
experience, sometimes. I have somehow just not done that. Of course, I try to
stay on a strict budget and not buy things for myself, including CD’s.
When Dad died it took me about 8
months to get back to “normal” and even longer for me to accept that altered
normal. I feel like just in the last few weeks I am getting used to the new
normal of being a mom. It’s been more than two years since Alesia was added to
my life, but the time has been mostly filled with anxiety and frenetic
activity.
We were watching an old kids’ movie
last night that I own, called Bedknobs and Broomsticks. At one point, Angela
Lansbury’s character takes off flying around on her broom, leaving the three
kids in the house alone. I said “Look! I can’t believe she just went flying
around and left those kids alone!” Alesia looked startled at my vehemence and
said “They’re OK, they’re asleep.” I flashed on my certainty that Alesia’s
birthmom left her alone when she was small and said quickly “Alesia, a good
mommy never leaves her children alone at night. Never.” Alesia frowned, and
just turned back to the movie. I didn’t want to belabor it. I feel so
responsible for re-educating her on how good people behave, and how good
mommies behave. She really doesn’t know.
I pulled out some old photos of
my brother, his school photos from when he was around Matthew’s age. They
really do look alike, though Bruce’s teeth were in much worse shape. I may scan
one in for the album I am making for Matthew, online.
On my Yahoo Single Moms board,
this was posted, and excellent column by John Rosemond, about adoptive
families.
http://rosemond.com/index.php?action=website-view&WebSiteID=389&WebPageID=13440
I remember Mother used to read his column, and told me she thought it was very valuable advice. He articulates what “traditional” parenting means. I have perused several columns online, and I agree with him.
