It has been a tough week,
emotionally and physically. Between the bouts of nausea [a side effect of the
antibiotic] and my arthritis, I’ve not done too well. I think all of my
decrepitude is exacerbated by plain old stress. The cold weather doesn’t help
either.
Tomorrow is my last day on
the antibiotics, thank God.
I keep wondering what to do
about my trip to Kazakhstan. Should I forget about it? Then I picture myself
running around like a nutcase trying to get it all done when I finally get the
LOI and can plan the trip. On the other hand, I almost think I’m jinxing it if
I prepare too much. No easy answers.
Alesia is plowing through
the American Girl series of books and I am very proud of her. I think they are
only on 3rd of 4th grade level, so no challenge, but she
is learning about history, in a small way, and broadening her world. We are
also watching some good movies. Tonight we watched “Seabisquit” – lots of
lessons in there about the Great Depression. Tomorrow we are watching “O Pioneers”
– a TV movie based on the Willa Cather novel.
Bronwyn came and worked with her some extra time today, to make up for having missed some time this week. Alesia is hungry for knowledge. I can see it in her. It gives me hope that maybe someday she can go to college.
I continue reading Cindy’s
blog every chance I get. She was blogging [an archived post] about people who
aren’t very interesting to her. I said Amen, Sister! As I was reading. There
are people at work who probably think I am standoffish because I don’t
participate in conversations about American Idol, or any sporting event. I have
not interest in sports or reality TV. I’m not interested in people who are
passionate about clothes or cars, or any sort of silly material thing like
that. I AM interested in things like, how do I help my kids like themselves and
do well in school? How do we fix the ozone layer? Do I ever want to live in the
country? Could I ever afford another adoption? Can I stand to keep being a
paralegal?
The people I want to know
are people who are passionate about ideas, and who are caretakers. I want to
know people who are interested in God, and faith, but not hung up on only their
point of view. I like to hear about the nooks and crannies of the human heart,
and how do we shine lights there? Or should we simply be content with the
darkness sometimes?
I have always loved books
and movies and music. They will always be part of my life, and they give me a
mental break. They don’t interest me passionately any more, however.
I used to think being rich
and not having to work would be perfect happiness. The more I take comfort and
pleasure in my little house, and my mother, daughter, and dog, the more I
realize how stupid I was just recently. Today my mother sent me a cool e-mail
with some amazing photos of China. Alesia stood next to me by the computer, her
arm around my shoulder, and we ooh’d and ah’d together. I thought of my friends
who are Chinese, or who have adopted children from China. Most of all, I was
just delighted to be showing Alesia the world. That’s my idea of happiness.
