I am not a retail snob. I am happy to shop at Goodwill, or the Dollar Store, or any garage sale with a bargain to be found. I passionately dislike malls and I try to avoid them as much as possible.
I passionately HATE shopping. I know, I am a woman, it's supposedly genetic, but lemme tell ya, I'd rather set my hair on fire or get a root canal than be forced to walk around the mall, even the small and relatively friendly mall close to our house.
We desperately need a new can opener. The one we have takes a lot of brute force to be persuaded to open anything, then it won't shut off. I ordered another one a few weeks ago from a website called www.alwaysbrilliant.com and the brilliant folks there took a couple of days to tell me it was on backorder. Then I got several e-mails saying it was delayed. Then delayed some more. Then, finally, an honest e-mail which said they had no idea when I could get the dadgum can opener. C'mon! That's insane! So I canceled my order.
Yesterday at lunch I ventured out to the mall near my office. I had to go to the post office and mail off a copy of my book [Jack's New Family - see link at left to purchase your copy, Today!] to a reviewer. I decided to make a slight detour and go through Sears. While there I got the great idea to look for a new can opener. After all, it's Sears, the place where you go to buy large appliances. I found the can opener display. There were about 4 models displayed. The boxes containing the actual appliances were below the displayed models. I looked and looked and thought, I must be losing my mind, there is only ONE actual can opener here, in my price range. There was some ritzy high-tech thing that cost $45 but I thought no way am I going there.
I looked around for more openers, thinking surely there must be more than this. Surely there must be a display of them? I looked all over the appliance department. No display. Also, no salesclerks, anywhere. Finally, I spotted a clerk, a very old lady with a 1972 upswept hairdo, shuffling quickly over to my direction, her head down, unsmiling. She looked, honestly, like a robot. I said "Excuse me?" and there was no response. I pondered what to do. I decided to heck with it, on to the post office. They lost a sale due to The Stepford Granny Saleswoman there. So be it.
When I was growing up, the mall near our house was divided this way. JC Penney's was Mother's hangout. Sears was Dad's place. Spencer's was where my brother and I gravitated. I occasionally bought painter's pants at Sears. I only wore painter's pants for a couple of years - I mean, I wore no other pants during that time. I had an older cousin who wore them and I thought everything she did was cool. So Sears outfitted me there for a while. Dad always bought appliances and lawn mowers there.
When I was about 14, I decided I wanted a 10 speed bike. Dad said nope, I'm not buying you a bike that cost that much [about $50-75 then]. So I saved babysitting money and did extra chores, and saved allowance money, and FINALLY, I was able to buy that 10 speed, in Sears. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was the culmination of about two years of saving money. I got the bike home, quickly realized it was too much bike for me, and rarely ever rode it again after that. [Sorry, bet you thought that story would have a happy ending, huh?!]
My whole point is, that Sears is probably still only in business because of nostalgia and the long-vanished dream of good products and customer service, which is a shame. Like so much of retail, it's not about customer service, it's about the bottom line. So it's hard to find a warm body in a store to help you, and pretty soon the warm-bodied customers will be simply memories.
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IN OTHER NEWS
Our movie last night was Mr. Holland's Opus, a wonderful film about a music teacher. It always makes me cry at the end. For a brief moment, it makes me think I want to be a teacher. Thankfully, those moments always pass. [With my temper, I wouldn't last long, I'm sure.]
My daughter has to turn in tomorrow a project, a model of a DNA strand. Hers is made out of pipe cleaners and wooden beads. I do not think making it has enhanced her learning experience. She viewed it as a craft project. If I were the teacher, I would re-think that idea. I would probably insist that it be edible, perhaps made out of cake, and then eaten afterwards, and all the kids would be in a sugar frenzy, and a danger to themselves and others... [yet another reason why I should not teach]
Alesia went to clean up the kitchen after dinner last night and the dishwasher, which I THOUGHT had been run, had not been run. My bad. Her reaction was hysterical. She looked at a dish in the top rack, straightened up, narrowed her eyes, and the following phrase popped out of her mouth like she was channeling Queen Latifah: "Oh no, you didn't!" We just died laughing. I imitated her phrasing and SHE died laughing.
Michael always gets out of the shower, wraps himself in his purple towel, and zips out to tell me he's clean. I am always at the computer. I then tell him he has to dry off, and he tries to shake the water off, like a dog, and I laugh. Then he likes to dance around like a little Chippendale's dancer, with lots of winking and wriggling. It's hysterically funny. Once or twice the towel has slipped and he's shrieked "No! You can't see Mr. Happy!"
Bruce has called a couple of times from Ft. Benning. He is in with other older guys who have been called back to active duty. I think he is enjoying himself, but he marvels at how different the Army is now. One of his old hangouts on post has now become a WiFi cafe. A lot of the acronyms have changed and he has to learn all the new ones, which is like sort of a puzzle. They do yoga stretches before PT. I asked him how he liked his rommate, and how many guys were in his class, and after each question he barked "That's classified! I can't talk about it!" I just thought well, OK, whatever. Let's see how you stand up to torture from a woman with a lot of chocolate and a small, fierce dog...
Like an idiot, I spent almost $3 on an Odwalla energy drink at lunch. I am trying to get off sodas. This Odwalla drink promises "serious energy." I'm not feeling it. So much for truth in advertising! How many odwallas had to die for that stupid drink, huh?!
