After all the poetic musings about my garden yesterday, I got home and went out there to plant my extra little plants, and made a funny discovery. Instead of the watermelon I had wanted, I grabbed the wrong little pot and came home with an okra plant! I will have to get another one or two in order to get enough okra to matter, plus I really do want another watermelon. I told Michael about this.
"I can't believe I got OKRA! I don't even like okra!" I ranted.
"You know, Mom, I am just not really interested in gardening stuff."
"Really? Well, are you interested in EATING watermelons?" I replied, with remarkable restraint, I thought. He pondered the statement.
"Well, yeah, duh." He and Alesia love watermelons. He loves spraying for bugs. He loves eating radishes and tomatoes right there, fresh from the ground. There's hope yet.
Mike didn't feel well yesterday, sniffing a lot. Today he got up complaining about his throat. It looked a bit pink. I sent him to school anyway, since he wasn't feverish and has the CRCT test. I e-mailed his soccer coach to say Mike likely won't make it to practice this afternoon and he said not to worry about it - Mike shouldn't be running around in the pollen anyway, and his only speed is "hustle." I laughed when I read that. The words "take it easy" are meaningless for Mike when it comes to soccer.
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Michael and Mother had a "serious" discussion not long ago about a little boy Mike's age that we've spent some time with recently. The child makes a lot of thoughtless, snotty remarks, and Michael doesn't like being around him. I don't, either, which is a shame because I like the parents. Mother said to Michael, "Why do you think he acts that way?" Without hesitation, Michael said "Well it's because he doesn't have a Granny, of course!" Like duh, nobody teaches him manners. We have laughed about that.
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Mother has had a lot of computer issues lately, and had to suffer through a lot of pop-ups that caused her system to halt. There's a technician working on it today. However, we have both been thrilled to see that Alesia has been able to help alleviate most of the issues. She is very good at math, and at problem solving. She loves puzzles. These are her strengths, intellectually. I guess this is the Lord's way of reminding me, she has promise, she can function on her own someday, I feel sure.
MEMORIES
One reason I like reading The Pioneer Woman website, is because she is so funny. She tells stories about embarrassing things that have happened to her. She has a huge readership, too. I only usually tell the embarrassing stories on myself to close friends. She has guts. LOL
Years ago, when I was working at my first paralegal job, in Knoxville, to get to the bathroom I had to walk down a long hallway, lined with lawyers' offices. I used the bathroom and washed my hands. I was busy and I was in a hurry. I walked briskly back to the office I shared with another paralegal. As soon as I walked in, she shrieked "Dee! OMG! Your dress!" I had pulled up my pantyhose and accidentally stuffed the entire back hem of the dress down into the pantyhose. SO my big ol' lumpy butt was on display. It must've been summer because I didn't feel cold on that long walk down the hall of offices.
Horrified, I pulled my dress out of my pantyhose and walked BACK down the hallway, peering into each attorney's office to see if he was in there. Fortunately, most of them were out at lunch. Maybe one was sitting at his desk. I asked him if he had seen me go down the hall a minute before and he said "No. Why?" Well I sure wasn't going to explain. I'm sure my face was bright red, though.
Now, I never wear pantyhose. I don't know anyone around here who wears it regularly. The whole office environment has changed so much since I started working in 1985. Fun facts:
When I had been working about a year, my office actually got a FAX machine! Wow! We had to fill out a form and ask the office manager to send the fax. Nobody but her could touch the machine.
I thought the fact that the enormous copier could COLLATE was incredibly cool. I had never used anything but crappy library copiers at school.
I never got my own computer at my desk until I moved to Atlanta to work in 1993. Before that, I used either a typewriter or an old CRT terminal.
I never wore pants to work until a few years ago. I would wear pretty, casual skirts and dresses, but not pants. I never could find dress pants that fit me well. [I am too big for petite sizes and too small for regulars - in a hellish place between them.] I am too cheap to pay for tailoring.
I had never seen a scanned document on the computer until about 10 years ago. If someone had told me when I started working that 98% of everything I did would be done electronically, and I would use a computer all day, I would have laughed.
I never used a computer until about 1990. I didn't own one. In college, I used an electric typewriter.
I have never filed a pleading [a formal court document] with a court electronically, which is very common today. When I stopped working at a law firm in 2001, I either gave pleadings to a courier or I got in the car, went to the courthouse, and filed them myself. I have driven all over East Tennessee and North Georgia filing lawsuits and pleadings.
I was up in Marietta trying to get in a courthouse years ago and they put my purse through the scanner, like the ones at airports. A huge, beefy, female security guard barked at me "You have an unidentified object in your purse! Step out of line! Open the purse!" I was suddenly scared to death. I stepped out of line, shaking. She handed me my purse while simultaneously pointing at the monitor. I peered at the blob she was pointing too. I reached slowly into my purse and pulled out -
a compact. A small, square compact with powder in it. The guard looked at it with great suspicion. "It's a COMPACT," I said, opening it and showing her the powder. I made a gesture like powdering my nose. There were snickers heard throughout the crowd of onlookers. "Go on through!" she barked.
After I was able to relax and chuckle over the whole silly thing, I thought seriously of getting the guard a gift certificate for a makeover at the Macy's cosmetics counter, or something similar. The poor dear looked like she needed personal grooming help in a bad way.
Later, I thought how funny it would have been if I'd pulled out the compact and waved it around, chuckling evilly, and said "It's the Max Factor bomb! You're all getting powdered!!" But of course, Ms. Beefy probably would've shot me...
I have a million "war stories." I will share them from time to time, when it's a slow news day here at the Crab Chronicles...
[NOTE: I finally had a minute to write up a review of The Forbidden Kingdom - check out Scribblerchick's Movie Dish for it!]
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