The Crab Chronicles

Last Day of Vacation

The days of this vacation week have just flown by, and I hated the look on Michael's face this morning when I reminded him that we have to go home in the morning.

We played mini golf yesterday, and I sweated off about 10 lbs. It's quite a workout for me! LOL I just love the giant fake octopus and shark, the fake volcano, all of it. I forgot my camera or I would show you photos. Alesia did well, and I either hit holes in one, or 6 frustrating shots per hole. Michael, however, has turned into an excellent little golfer, and easily beat me and Alesia. Mother is puzzled how he putts with one hand. However, she forgets that he is very strong in that arm, and his hand is super coordinated, since he has to use it for everything. I doubt he would ever do well at "big" golf, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he has fun and has a sense of accomplishment.

We had lunch at Steak & Shake yesterday, and a big dinner with the family at a wonderful local restaurant, the Chesapeake House. In between, the kids and I spent some serious pool time.

Chesapeake House has a large pond in the back, and Michael enjoyed looking at the alligators and turtles and birds back there. My uncle was able to get in the restaurant easily because there's a special back door that accommodates wheelchairs. The food is a bit pricey, but the kids split a seafood platter and I ordered one of the less expensive menu items, fried creek shrimp. The quality of the food is wonderful - nothing tastes fake, and everything is flavorful.

We came home and watched Dr. Doolittle, which Michael had never seen. I had borrowed a number of movies from a friend at work, for the trip, and we still are running short on movies. I try to leave 3-4 unwatched so the kids can watch in the car on the way home. The portable DVD player was the best investment ever.

My friend Cyndi LaJoy got some good news yesterday about two little girls she has been trying to adopt, and I am so excited for her. I met the older girl, Angela, and she is Miss Personality. I wished I could adopt her myself, along with Michael, but that was before I knew Cyndi. Now I realize God of course had a different and wonderful plan in mind. However, international adoption always is a bumpy road, so please pray for Cyndi and her girls. I believe Angela is about 10 and her sister 6 or 7. I am always thrilled to hear of older kids being adopted.

Michael told me the other day he wished he had a little brother. I wish it, too, and I have sort of looked into it, but I have got to get some debts paid off and get things at home more stable, before I could really consider it. My mother also doesn't cotton to the idea of another child to care for, domestic or foreign, and I have to be cognizant of her wishes. I have always had a feeling I should have 3 kids, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. I pray about it. That always brings me the right answers. 

Friday Morning Update

Well, yesterday was sort of blue, but today is better.

I came in to check email this morning to see if I had heard from Bronwyn, and I did. Alesia is successfully registered for summer school. Hallelujah!! What a relief. Bronwyn is a dear friend to take care of that chore for me - and she said it took 2 hours! Must have been terrible lines.

I take a miracle drug called royal maca root. Yesterday afternoon it finally occurred to me to take some extra maca root, since I was hormonal, and voila, within an hour I felt better. It's a wonder herbal drug for anyone menopausal.

The kids got to go swimming late yesterday afternoon, even though it was chilly. They went to the indoor pool, then came back and got into the outdoor pool right below our condo balcony, so Mother and I could see them. They had a fabulous time, just hanging out and swimming and playing in the pool. Even though Alesia is a bit immature, sometimes that's a blessing, since she and Michael play so well together.

Thanks Daryl and Windy for your kind comments yesterday. They lifted my spirits.

Today's agenda: mini golf, lunch with family, then swimming and possibly dinner out at our favorite restaurant. It's sad our time here is coming to an end. However, I would like to be home, too, and check on our garden and kiss little Miss Coco's hairy face...

Blue Day

My lasagna dinner went well last night, although I didn't have the time to make it right - we used Classico instead of homemade sauce, I regret to say. However, it tasted good enough, and everyone ate well. We also had green beans and french bread. My aunt brought a homemade lemon pound cake for dessert that was heavenly.

It's so hard to watch my uncle's decline. He has a lot of heart issues, including a pacemaker, and he has Parkinson's disease. His hands shake terribly now, and he has to have help with a lot of things. He has always been a strong, active person. He was in the Navy in World War II, and spent most of his life working as a manager at General Motors in Atlanta. He moved here to Myrtle Beach permanently in the mid 1970's when he went to work for Caterpillar, the heavy equipment company. He is 6 years older than my mother.

Mother is walking less and less these days. She has painful leg cramps that leave her legs very sore. It's tough to watch her have to limit her activities. We went to a really nice bookstore this morning and she had to spend a lot of time there sitting on a bench. Thank goodness nicer stores have places to sit now.

Sometimes I get pretty blue when I realize that I am in the generation of folks who is now having to watch their parents really decline, in their senior years. My mother gets on my nerves sometimes, but I hate the thought of being there when she dies. I also feel obligated to make sure she has the best quality of life possible before then. Sometimes I worry more about her than I do my kids.

One thing my kids benefit from with Mother is that they have to leanr not be selfish. My life is devoted to them, of course, but I also have to care for Mother, and even Coco, and they see that example. My kids help Mother every day, too. They help Mother in and out of the car, and she never has to carry anything. Michael is her designated purse carrier. Alesia is really conscientious about helping Granny with her seatbelt. They are sweet, good kids anyway, but caring for their grandmother helps them to be compassionate.

Today it's cool and breezy - really not swimming weather. We went to the bookstaore, and had lunch with the family. My kids love coming here to the computer center because I let them use the computers to their hearts' content. Mother is napping right now.

I was thinking about going to a movie late this afternoon, but I am a bit too paranoid to be without my phone between 5 and 6. That's when my friend Bronwyn is going to try and register Alesia for summer school, for me. I gave her the fees, and a limited power of attorney, and she is a teacher in the same county, but I am not sure she can do it. DeKalb County is just peculiar, and it sometimes seems there's a conspiracy against everything I try to do. I couldn't pospone the registration, even though I am on vacation. I feel a lot of bitterness because I think if they had just put Alesia in the right class or given her the right help she would not have failed Biology. There is a late registration date but I fear the classes may be filled up by then.

I lost my temper with Alesia yesterday after we left the go kart place, and I regret that. I could not make her understand that the tokens she had bought could not be used outside of that place. Sometimes I just despair at getting her to comprehend even basic things. She also has gotten really sarcastic lately and that grates on my nerves.

I am thinking about taking a long walk on the beach after I hear from Bronwyn about the school thing - good or bad. I need to clear my head.

I see things all the time and I think "I wish Bruce were here to see this. He would love this." It's sad to know he's so far away, and will not be home any time soon. He can't even get a decent night's sleep a lot of times, because of the noise of rocket fire.

One of my cousins sent my brother a care package and he got it already. He was so tickled. Another cousin is readying a package and I know he will be delighted to get it. For just about $11 a smallish box can be sent to him, and he will get it in about a week. Snacks like nuts and dried fruits are appreciated [he eats pretty healthy] and books, are good too. Michael always draws him a picture. If any of you reading this would like to send him a box, e-mail me. If he can't use whatever is sent, he passes it along to the other guys. If nothing else, remember all our troops in your prayers, please.

Speed Kids

I HATE these computers. This machine just ate yet another post. Aaaargh!

We have not been to the beach today. I took the kids to the Nascar Speed Park this morning so they could race around on go karts - something I used to love to do when I was a kid.

It was an expensive morning - nearly $60 for the go karts, a snack, and a few video games. This supports my theory that almost everything fun you can do with kids costs anywhere from $50 and up. Nothing is cheap. It cost $20 to buy enough tickets for 1 person to ride go karts 3 times. Yikes.

I am making lasagna for the entire extended Myrtle Beach family tonight. That will be interesting, in the teeny tiny condo kitchen.

Thunderstorms are rolling in, so swimming is iffy this afternoon.

That's all the news I know.

People Watching

I finally got to relax - about 11 last night. LOL

I awoke at 7:30 this morning and woke up Michael and we went for a nice walk on the beach. I asked Alesia if she wanted to join us and her response was a mumbled "Unh" and she rolled into a tight cocoon in her foldout bed.

I love the beach early, before so many people are out. There were a lot of folks walking, some running, and a fair number of people like us, just strolling. We passed 3 jellyfish, beached and dead, thank goodness. I talked to Michael about the tides, and how seashells are made.

I saw a woman walking down the beach who was so funny. She had on a leopard print top and matching pants, and very white hair, styled in a 'do. She had on rhinestone-rimmed glasses and she was talking nonstop on a cell phone. She would've looked right at home on a street in Beverly Hills, I imagine.

Michael flew his dinosaur kite. I wished I had taken my camera, because he looked so adorable, racing around, flying his kite. He also collected seashells for Granny and Alesia.

One day, before I die, I am going to go to a beach and put back all the seashells I have collected over the years. I have about a shoebox full.

Late in the morning, we collected my aunt and uncle and two cousins and rode in convoy out to a place about 30 minutes north of here, called Indigo Farms. Beautiful flowers or every kind, and tons of fresh produce. We got tomatoes, a big cantaloupe, strawberries, blueberries, and unshelled pecans. I so wished we could have bought more. I look forward to showing the kids our special nutcracker at home, an iron dog we've had since I was a kid. It's always fun to eat nuts you have cracked and dug out.

After lunch and a quick trip to the drugstore, it was time to hit the pool. I told the kids they were on their own for 30 minutes and then I would join them. That's the beauty of having older kids. I just make sure they are slathered with sunscreen and off they go. We can see them from our balcony.

BTW, we tried some of the new spray on sunscreen and it does NOT work. Michael's short arm got burned a bit, and his back, yesterday. I slathered him with moisturizer last night and he complained about "smelling like a girl." However, I pointed out that this morning he was not burned any more. Voila!

We had more fun in the little water park and pool, and then late this afternoon we went in the jacuzzi. I have never cared for them much but Michael loves the jacuzzi, and even Alesia got in. I got some cute photos of the kids in there. I hope they come out.

We had dinner at The Golden Corral. Don't laugh. It's a buffet, and the food at the Golden Corral here is excellent. There's a HUGE variety of food, and everyone can get what they like. Michael ate like a little horse. I told him he had to eat a vegetable and he got a plate full of green beans. He had watermelon for dessert.

Several folks working in the Golden Corral were young people from Russia. I always like to chat with folks from Russia, and Alesia can speak to them in Russian. The boy who gave us our drinks could not stop looking at Alesia - not surpriseing, since she had no a new sundress and looked like a model. The girl who was our server also was very sweet. She was from Ekaterinberg. They both spoke excellent English, and said they like it here in America. They were both very thin - obviously they don't eat at work.

The people watching at Golden Corral is quite amazing. A lot of folks looked like they had stepped right out of The Far Side. One woman was probably 6'2, had long red hair down her back, and a very tight halter top. There was a tiny Asian woman with very blonde hair who looked like an extra in a James Bond movie. The table next to us had enormous women and tiny little men. One couple we saw, the man was bald but had a long beard, braided. He wore button earrings which would've looked at home on a 1950's housewife, and pants falling off his butt. His girlfriend was enormous and had on a tiny little halter top. Wow. Silence would prevail at our table as we all just gazed in amazement/amusement.

I asked Michael a little while ago what his favorite thing about today was and his reply was "Dinner!" LOL

Frankie Say Relax

I just typed up quite a long post, one of my better posts acutally, and because Typepad has changed how I can post, I couldn't copy it and I accidentally lost the whole thing. AAAARGH!!!!

We had had a nice day. We had to shop for some essentials, and then had lunch at a Chinese buffet. Michael was fussy about eating, but decided he could do lunch after I threatened to not let him go to the beach or pool this afternoon. What a surprise.

The kids and I coated ourselves with sunscreen and headed for the beach, after lunch. [Note: no matter how much sunscreen I wear on my face, after a day outside in the summer it will be pink.]

We got to the beach and I had spread out my blanket and settled down to relax and try to tan a bit. I got comfortable. The kids went in the water and jumped waves. After about 15 minutes they said they wanted to go to the water park. Oh, and I had to reel in Michael's new kite.

I gathered up all our stuff and we tromped over to the water park. It's a small park in the hotel/condo complex. It's aimed for younger kids but it has a couple of water slides and is sitll plenty fun. I splashed around with the kids and then we got on innertubes and floated down the manmade "lazy river" which was fun and relaxing. I got out, and had just gotten comfy in a lounge chair, when I was informed the children wanted to go to another pool. I gathered our stuff and off we went. [There are 9 pools in the complex.]

I played ball with the kids in that pool for a while. I then hit the lounge chair again. My butt had hardly touched the chair when I was informed that Michael wanted to go in the jacuzzi. Alesia doesn't care for jacuzzis and I wanted to monitor Michael and make sure he didn't bother anyone, so I got in the jacuzzi. I don't like them much, but the warm jets of water were very relaxing. Just when I started to be comfortable, I was informed that it was time to go to yet another pool.

See a pattern here?! I can't relax! When I told Mother about this later, the kids were sitting there eating a snack and they started giggling, then guffawing, when I described how they had an uncanny ability to notice when I was really starting to relax, then insist on yet another activity. No rest for Mom!

Oh well. I'll rest when I'm dead.

We ate dinner last night at a fancy, upscale restaurant with Asian fusion cuisine [good, but not too frou frou]. Tonight, it's ham sandwiches in the room, which I really prefer.

I am hoping around 11 tonight I will be able to thrown my tired old, slightly pink 45 year old body in the bed and actually RELAX.

Greetings from the Beach, Vacation 2008

We have had a good day. We got up and went to breakfast at K&W cafeteria. Good food. Much cheaper than the fancy buffet at the Embassy Suites which adjoins the condos. Mike got some fat link sausages because they looked like Russian sausages, which he loves. However, of course they didn't taste the same.

 

After breakfast we came back here and I checked e-mail, then we headed over to my Uncle Bobby and Aunt Myrtle's house. Bobby, who is 6 years older than my mother, is looking frail. His Parkinsons has advanced so his hands really tremble. He was perfectly lucid, though. Myrtle and his granddaughter, Lana, take good care of him. Myrtle's family has lived in Myrtle Beach for about 100 years or more, and at one time Myrtle's dad owned hundreds of acres in North Myrtle Beach, bought in the teens.

 

After eating a sandwich with them, we had to go to Kroger. We got over $200 worth of food, but that's all our breakfasts for the week, plus probably 4-5 dinners. We tend to eat out at lunch and in at night - cheaper that way.

 

There are bikers are everywhere and a bit annoying with the noise, but they don't seem to be bothering anyone.

 

The weather is a little cool - 70's and very breezy. If it were 5 degrees warmer it would be perfect.

 

Since we got back from the store, the kids have been in the pool or the ocean. I let them stay in the ocean a while on their own, jumping waves. I figured there are enough nice looking folks around so if they get in trouble somebody can fish them out. 

 

They are both very white, so I am slathering them with sunscreen. Alesia keeps fretting about getting a tan, but I assured her by the end of the week it will be obvious she is tanned.

 

I went in the ocean with Michael and I was trying to keep an eye on him, and a wave knocked me on my butt. Then I couldn't my footing to be able to get back up. Michael tried but couldn't pull me up. I was like a beached whale. I took a wave full in the face and started spitting and sputtering, and a nice man [a big guy] walked over and offered me a hand and got me up. No more ocean for me. I got a lot of sand in a lot of crevices, if you know what I mean...

 

Mother told the funniest story about Michael. The other day when he came home from school she gave him a couple of pieces of stale bread and told him to pinch it up to give to the birds. A little while later she saw him carefully tearing it into tiny crumbs. She asked him what he was doing.

 

"This is for the ants, Granny!"

"No, no, we don't feed the ants!"

"Why not?!"

"Well, we don't want them coming in our house."

"But we feed birds," he insisted.

"Yes, but birds don't come in the house and cause problems. If an ant comes in the house I will step on him."

 

She said he got a look of absolute horror on his face. LOL

 

Tomorrow, I told Mother I am taking the day off. I'm not cooking or cleaning, and I am not going anywhere, except perhaps the pool. I have a good book to read and I'm just going to RELAX.

 

We Are Here

We got into Myrtle Beach yesterday after a fairly pleasant 6.5 hour trip. Alesia didn't get sick in the car, hallelujah! The town is crowded with bikers but a lot of them will clear out tomorrow. For some reason this computer is incredibly slow so I am not going to attempt a long post. Hope everyone has a fun weekend! More later!

Dee

Racing to the Finish Line

The day has just been a blur.

I picked up my car this morning before work. It’s a relief to have it fixed. However, it’s almost 10 years old and has over 100,000 miles on it. I just pray it will last long enough for me to be able to afford another one. Right now a car payment is just impossible.

I had to concentrate on a rather involved project at work, trying to get everything done before leaving on vacation. I got most of it. I think I can finish the rest pretty quickly when I get back to the office on June 2.

I took a big 15 minutes for lunch. I stayed until almost 6 p.m. I hate days when I am so pressured.

About 3, everyone else left. A huge thunderstorm rumbled through. I felt a sinister sort of glee because even though I couldn’t leave early, I wasn’t out slogging through that horrible traffic. By the time I left, the rain had slacked off and most people were at their destination. I got home pretty quickly, after filling the car with gas. Gas here is $3.85. Yikes.

Once I got home all I could think about what all the little tasks I needed to accomplish before leaving. Fortunately, God watered my garden and plants for me. 

I got in a new pair of Crocs I ordered. I am ready for the beach!

I will try to post something every day but I may be too tired tomorrow. It’s a 6-8 hour drive, depending on how much we have to stop.

Gratitude as an Attitude

My friend Amy [Alexs' mother] left a comment about yesterday's post and the fact Alesia feels she is entitled to complain about her breakfast. I understand her comment very well. I even agree with it. However, as an adoptive parent, to think that our children should be grateful is to engage in behavior that will only cause stress and consternation - to the parent, not the child.

As I've said probably too many times, my daughter lived in dire poverty before I adopted her. Her first 6 years were spent in a place where paved roads are a rarity, and there was no electricity, in winters that were brutal - often 20 below. The orphanage was not much better, but at least she ate more regularly, and was sent to school. She knows poverty.

However, for the past 3 years she has lived in a middle class house in an Atlanta suburb, and had a very comfy existence. Before that she lived in a nice condo for 6 months. She eats well, has pretty clothes, gets to take vacations to the beach, etc. This is her normal, now. That other life was long ago and far away, to her. She doesn't think about it all the time now, and I'm glad of that.

It takes real maturity remember to be grateful. Alesia IS grateful, however, even if she doesn't always show it. On the wall of my work cubicle is a beautiful Valentine's Day card, which says on the front: Mom, I'm Grateful to You. Alesia spent a long time choosing that card. She still writes me notes and cards occasionally thanking me for being her mom. It's a lot more than most parents get, but then most kids aren't adopted when they are 13.

I realized after I posted yesterday's post that it sounded like Alesia is a whiny, yucky girl, and that's not true. Most of the time, she's a sweetie. She snarls a lot in the morning. So do I. Mother avoids the kitchen most mornings until we clear out and her coffee is ready for her. Mike is the only one of us who is generally cheery in the morning.

Mother gets exasperated sometimes because the kids ask for a lot of expensive stuff which we can't afford. ALL kids do that. I just say "I can't afford that," and they usually hush. Should they be grateful to not have to live in dire poverty? Yes. But we cannot expect it. Children only know NOW.

I have never had an ambition to be wealthy. I have not pursued it. I had a chance to go to law school, all expenses paid, and I turned it down. I knew it would mean years of 60-80 hour work weeks, and intense stress, and I couldn't stomach that idea. I watched my father work like that and thought nope, I want a life outside of the office. I have not regretted that decision, except in one way. Education.

One thing I truly wish I could afford is private school. I keep wishing Alesia could go to a school where she gets the support she needs to do well. I am spending a lot of time thinking about how she is going to get through the high school years successfully. Every so often I look online at private school tuition, and despair. Around here it's usually $13-22K a year. The church schools tend to be a bit less, but I don't want her indoctrinated into some sort of rabid dogma that I don't agree with. I make too much $ to qualify for financial aide, I feel sure. To even apply to most schools it costs $70-100. That can add up fast.

I wish I could send Mike to private school or just pay tutors so he could advance more quickly and catch up to his peers. He said yesterday all they are doing in these final days of school is watching "movies with talking animals - talking horses, talking dogs, blah blah blah." He was/is bored. He is going to be out of place next year in fourth grade. He should be in 6th or 7th. I don't dare to dream we could get him ready to skip 5th grade in 2009-10.

Mike runs on two speeds - either 100 mph or sound asleep. There's no middle ground. Mother says my brother was the same way. Must be a boy thing.

Alesia had to give a presentation for her English class yesterday, the ethnography project. She had to actually stand in front of a class and admit she's adopted - something she rarely does, at school. She said she froze, and the teacher had to prompt her with questions to help her get started. I am proud of her. She showed me the oversized booklet she had created. It bridges both cultures. I helped her, but she chose the photos and wrote the captions and put it together. I hope she keeps it forever.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am excited that on Saturday, June 21st from 3:30-4:30 there will be a special seminar at the Amputee Coalition of America annual convention here in Atlanta, and me and several other adoptive parents of kids with limb differences will be running it. The purpose will be to encourage prospective parents to adopt kids with limb differences. We're not sure of the exact format yet, but I always welcome opportunities to encourage people to adopt older kids and/or kids with limb differences.