The Crab Chronicles

O Christmas Tree

I usually say a prayer every morning as soon as I get up, and ask God to be with me during the day, and be with everyone I love. It gives me the strength I need to get everything done. I woke up this morning asking God to give me the strength and energy to get Major Stuff done today.

It continued to be really cold and rainy all day. We got over 2 inches of rain in the past two days, by our rain guage.

It wasn't raining hard when we went to Kroger, but Mother still got chilled. It's a huge, cavernous store, and it tends to be chilly in winter. Of course, I wasn't even wearing a jacket. Menopause keeps me warm.

We came home and unloaded, and to my surprise, the kids were eager to get the tree set up. We have a new tree this year. I bought it last year after Christmas and got an incredible 50% discount at Home Depot because they were clearing out their Christmas stuff. It's huge and pre-lit with colored lights. Our problem was that it wouldn't fit in our living room, where we always put the tree! Alesia is brilliant at putting things together, so I let her and Michael do it, and she came in and said, horrified, the tree is too TALL!

Well, I found a great spot behind the sofa in the family room, right in front of the french doors to the patio, which we rarely use. We had to rearrange furniture a bit, but it looks fine. It's a HUGE tree - the biggest one we've ever had, in my memory. I told Michael, I remember Mother and Daddy buying a real tree every year, and every year they had a fight. He always hated paying for trees. One year he wanted to go out to some property we owned and cut a tree, and there weren't any trees that would work. After he got a tree each year he cursed, and sawed, and we finally got it set up, and he had a beer. After beer #2 he was willing to talk about putting on the lights.

Michael was actively involved in decorating the tree this year. We talked about the different ornaments and how old they were, and why they were special. We have ornaments special to each person. For instance, we have a nutcracker soldier with Dad's name on it, and Michael was so excited to see it. We have a little bird made of tinfoil that my brother made as a little boy. There's a beautiful hot air balloon ornament that Mother loves, because she loves hot air balloons. We have about a half dozen lacy angels that came from my aunt. The tree seems to be heavy on angels and santas.

We will finish decorating in the next few days. We have more angels, a santa figurine collection, the nativity scenes, etc. We tend to decorate more inside than outside. Mother likes to put greenery around, too, to give the house a Christmasy smell. I hate cleaning it up in January, but I understand the need for the smell. Mother says it's the only way she can tolerate the artificial tree.

I have done some more Christmas shopping online, but I'm far from done. My internet connection is down at the moment and I am having to type this on Mother's computer. Hopefully the AT&T technician can fix it tomorrow.

Splish Splash

It has rained so much today, it feels like a Jacques Cousteau movie. I could hear him in my head this morning: “And now, Dee and Michael walk to ze car, zayre feet making ze squish squish sounds in ze saturated urt…”

I ran errands this morning praying the rain would abate every time I had to get out of the car. It was pouring when we went in for Michael’s noon therapy appointment.

The kids and I went to lunch at Firehouse Subs. Mother won’t leave the house when it’s rainy; says it bothers her arthritis too much. So we are sitting there eating our sandwiches – and they have the best meatball sub I’ve ever tasted, BTW – and the Georgia / Georgia Tech game is on. Of course, I am yelling for the Dawgs. I was sitting there cursing and laughing, totally engrossed in the game. Mike was horrified. The people behind the counter were all pulling for Tech. I HAD to yell for Georgia. It’s the family school. Michael just doesn’t understand that watching a football game can be an emotional experience. I couldn’t care less about football unless the Dawgs are playing, and if they are playing Tech or Tennessee. You see - and this embarrasses me - we have Tech fans in my family. I won’t name names. Despite the Dawgs’ loss today, though, I will back the Dawgs under any circumstances.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty leisurely. I meant to put up the Christmas tree, but I was too wiped out.

I watched a great program on the Food Network about a young pastry chef who makes incredible cakes, Duff. Peculiar looking guy, but his show Ace of Cakes is really fascinating. I have lately become fascinated with decorated cakes and fondant. I couldn’t decorate a cake to save my life, but I find it really enthralling. I don’t know why…

A couple of months ago I hear about a website, Phojoe.com, that alters photos to make the person appear older or younger. I sent in photos of my kids to get baby pictures. I have no baby photos of my kids when they were younger. I was not really happy with the phojoe results, but at least if they ever get a school assignment where they need a baby picture, they have one.

 

Memories and Endorsements

I didn’t really blog about the traumatic experience I suffered Wednesday afternoon.

My office shut down at 3 on Wednesday and I came home and got Alesia. We ran to UPS and then Kroger, for some last minute things. The Kroger was like a disaster movie – bizarre, wild-eyed folks all desperate for some last minute item. As we walked in, we had to wait at the door before we could even grab a buggy, as a woman was wrestling with a toddler who was screaming. She got him subdued and went off, fighting her way through the crowds. We pushed our way around the unfamiliar store, desperately searching for a few items. The buttermilk section was decimated – there were maybe 3 cartons in there. [You can’t make decent cornbread without buttermilk, and this IS the south, even thought it’s also suburban Atlanta.] The soup aisle was jammed. I didn’t even attempt it – I sent in Alesia. We finally got to the front, and jumped in the line where you scan your own stuff. A Kroger clerk who looked like she desperately needed anti-anxiety medication barked at us to “Go to the BACK of the line!” – meaning waaaaay back, down the dog food aisle. There were 25 people ahead of us and that was the SHORT line. I saw this elegantly dressed older lady wandering around vaguely mumbling “She’s bringing her dog. What do I feed it?!...” I thought to myself, well, not these overpriced pseudo-plastic dog “treats,” for heaven’s sake, get some Purina, jeesh…

Coco doesn’t eat dog treats. She eats people food. She had been feeling puny all day yesterday, but I got some white meat off the turkey and gave it to her and she perked right up.

I was thinking about doing a blog about my many varied Thanksgiving experiences over the years. Sounds boring, huh?! I will cut to the chase. The best Thanksgiving ever was in 1970. I was 8 years old. My mother and her two brothers and their families, and my grandparents, all rented a big cabin up in the mountains, near Amicalola Falls . We had wonderful meals. I played with my cousins, we walked over to the waterfalls, we went shopping at a little country store. My father taught all the kids how to skip rocks. It was lovely. My aunt and uncle made audio recordings of everyone in the family and I still have a copy of the tape. It’s the only recording I have of my grandparents’ voices.

That weekend, my grandmother played a really funny practical joke on us all. She dressed up like a really decrepit bag lady and came knocking on the door late the second night. My mentally challenged cousin opened the door and she asked for a light for her cigarette. He said something polite like “I am sorry, I don’t have any matches,” and my uncle went to the door and saw Mamaw. He immediately knew it was her. He kept bending down to see her face [he’s 6’3] and she kept pulling her hat lower and stooping over [she was 4’11]. She finally couldn’t go any lower, and started laughing and the joke was blown. I was standing behind my uncle trying to get a look at this weird old woman who had come to the door, totally startled. Mamaw had gone to great lengths for the joke – she had borrowed her sister’s wig, and put chewing gum over her teeth so it looked like she was toothless. And people sometimes wonder where I got my acting ability?!

The worst Thanksgiving was in the late 1980’s, in Knoxville. My brother was stationed in Germany and couldn’t come home, and Dad decided we’d spend the day serving Thanksgiving dinner at the Salvation Army mission downtown. Now, Dad was a huge supporter of the Salvation Army, and raised a lot of money for them over the years. He also believed in personally working, too. He rang the bell and worked a kettle one day every Christmas, and he gave out toys and food to needy families every year. So he was a familiar sight down there, and that was his main charity. However, I was in my 20’s and full of idealism, and I thought well, this will be a good way to spend the day, with poor families. Only there were no families, just ancient, really smelly men. The families went to a different facility. The men looked haunted. It was depressing. I don’t mean to sound awful, but I really didn’t want to be there. I kept thinking, what will they eat tomorrow? Why can’t they stop living on the streets? Dad explained, in the car, that most of those men chose to live on the streets, even though the Salvation Army wanted to help them live better. Dad could see the despair and not let it get to him. It got to me, though. Coupled with the sadness of missing my brother, it made for a terrible day.

The irony is that years later, I adopted a child who had lived in the streets at times, with his birth mom. Michael has clear memories of not having any food, being cold, sleeping on concrete, etc. His early childhood was the stuff of nightmares and horror movies. Now he has a warm, secure, loving home. So I feel like I was finally able to do something about homelessness, in my own small way. I also have a wonderful son. I think Dad would approve.

The oddest Thanksgiving for me was in 2004. Alesia’s adoption hearing was on November 14^th. There was a mandatory 10 day waiting period after the court hearing. I had just started a new job so I had to come back and work. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I got to the airport at like 6 in the morning, hoping to catch a flight to New York with my precious Delta buddy pass – one always flies standby on a buddy pass. I got on, seated in the very back of the plane, but it was fine. I got to New York and spent all day hanging out at JFK, waiting for the evening flight to Moscow. Got to Moscow and it was Wednesday morning by my body clock, but Wed. late afternoon after the time change. After the nightmare of getting a cab to a different airport and getting on an overnight flight to Khabarovsk, we finally got in early the next morning. [I had a friend traveling with me.] I had to wait 45 minutes at the Khabarovsk airport for the adoption agency representative to show up, then haul my bags across the frozen expanse of parking lot. It was about 2 degrees, and windy. There were layers of snow and ice on the ground.

The agency had told me I absolutely had to be there Friday morning, early, to do some adoption thing. I had put myself through a tremendous amount of stress with travel planning, trying to get there by then. The agency rep told me when we were in the car going to the hotel that it actually wasn’t necessary – my presence wasn’t required Friday morning after all. That ticked me off enormously. I hadn’t slept in two days, either. We got to the hotel and got checked in. I was then informed that I wouldn’t be able to even go out to the orphanage and see Alesia until the next afternoon, late. I had told her I would see her that day, Thursday. I later learned Alesia was frantic with worry, and had called her English tutor, who then called me to make sure I had gotten in. I spent Thursday walking around town a bit, then trying to nap, and finally going out to dinner with my friend and my Russian friend, Pasha. I was so unhappy, though because I couldn’t see Alesia. [That’s one of the many reasons I will never use that agency again and I don’t recommend them to others, fyi.] Of course, in Russia Thanksgiving is just another day. There was no turkey on the menu. I think I had fish and tried to pretend it was turkey. So that Thanksgiving was quite bizarre.

I have started my Christmas shopping. I like to buy things online, or on the phone. Makes life much easier. I hate going to stores.

I had to work today, which is a bummer. The company only counts Thanksgiving Day as a paid holiday.  It was very quiet. Not a soul poked their head around the door of my cubicle. There was almost nobody around. I called home a couple of times. Mother said the kids had a quiet day, mostly playing games and relaxing. Wednesday and yesterday were rather busy days, so I am glad they had some down time.

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I found a website that has amazing products for parents who have adopted kids form Russia or the former Russian republics. It’s Adopted From Russia. They have bilingual books, tools to help kids learn Russian, or learn English, etc. I went on there with Alesia and Michael watching and we found several products they would like to have. I’m trying to work it out so they might offer copies of my book, too. We shall see. Regardless, it’s a nice site.

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My friend Laura sent me the coolest photo the other day, of a cake her niece Melissa had made, which looks just like a turkey!

Melissa makes AMAZING and beautiful cakes. She can custom make a cake for any occasion. The profits go to help foster children in her home county have a happy Christmas, as Melissa sponsors several children. I copied her explanation of this, below.

So if you are in the Atlanta metro area and want a special cake, Melissa is your gal! Her  website is really a nice showcase for her talent.

“Long story short…I work full time in commercial real estate and have a 3 year old but in my “spare time” I love to make cakes. I work with fondant only but there is nothing that fondant can’t do really. I have never made the same cake twice however. Which is really cool for me. In the past I had a hard time charging people for my cakes. For one I didn’t feel confident in my work and for two I honestly didn’t know how to compare the prices to what since I am not a professional. Over the past 40 days I have a bible study at my house once a week.   Our goal was to reach out to our community and help others in need and use God’s gifts and talents within our group. I decided that I should use the ‘cake art’ talent to serve others. So I charge a flat fee and used all the money towards 5 children we were lead to sponsor for Christmas in Henry County. As of today we have raised a total of $575.00! We get to spend $100 on each child! Not all of it was cake but it was a part of it. It is the beginning of a cool thing!

A friend of mine in Carrolton and I have been talking about helping children with our cakes. Children in abused or neglected homes, foster care.. not sure yet where the need is but kids who have never had a birthday party. Maybe once a month make cakes for them. We don’t know details yet. But we want to start this in Jan 09. So if you know some people who could use this service, which wouldn’t cost them by the way. I would love to hear from you.”

PLEASE pass this along to anyone you think might need or want one of Melissa’s fabulous cakes!

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I watched the entire episode of 20/20 tonight about adopted kids. It wasn’t as bad as I had feared, but they said a number of things I found misleading, like their comment that most adopted kids have RAD. I just dont' think that's true. They also said 10-25% of all adoptions disrupt. I have never seen that figure and I doubt it’s true. If it is true, I bet they are counting domestic adoptions as well as foreign. Overall, I still feel it was just a very negative piece. I sure hope the Russians don’t see it, and decide to shut down all adoptions from their country.

I've had some challenges with my kids, but I have never thought for a moment about disrupting. I got the help we needed from a therapist, and read and studied and networked with others. Clearly the main family profiled needed to get into family therapy, and not just ship their child off to boarding school, IMHO.

I know there is a lot of controversy about this show, but I still don't feel like it sent the right message. What they should have emphasized was how parents can be prepared, and how to change a bad to a good outcome when there's a tough adoption. Resources and information should rule, not sensationalism.

Thanksgiving 2008

We have had a nice, quiet holiday.

My cousin Lesleigh was supposed to come eat with us about 2, but called at noon and said she was sick and couldn’t come. Bruce is in Iraq, of course. So it was just the 4 of us. We decided to postpone eating until tonight.

The kids helped me get the house straightened up this morning. They were good help all day, actually.

I made the traditional foods: turkey, dressing, creamed corn, cranberry sauce, fruit salad, cornbread, pecan pie. We were going to do green beans, but decided against them at the last minute. [We had vegetable soup for lunch so I wasn’t going to carp about it.]

Mother and I are not crazy about turkey so we don’t roast it. My kids also prefer soft meats, not roasted or grilled. So we poached the turkey breast on top of the stove, in water, salt and pepper, some chopped onions and celery. The bird was only about 5 lbs. - at the end of the day it was so moist it fell off the bones. We saved the broth for soups.

The dressing was a combined effort of Alesia and Mother and I. We ended up not doing it in the crock pot, but made mother’s traditional dressing, with one exception – we used Pepperidge Farm bread crumbs, which was a lot easier. We made cornbread, and crumbled part of it in with the bread crumbs, and added chopped onions and celery, chicken soup, baking powder, onion powder, pepper and salt, poultry seasoning, and several eggs. It’s always wonderful. I kept adding stuff until it was hard to stir. We ended up freezing an entire pan full of dressing, which we can have at Christmas, which is great.

In the afternoon, while Mother napped, the kids and I saw an animated movie called Bolt  in 3-D. I expected to be bored, but it was a cute story. It was a little weird at first hearing John Travolta's voice coming out of a white cartoon dog, but it was fun once I got past that..

At dinner tonight, we all went around and said 5 things we were thankful for. Mother and I both said we were thankful for our family, our home, etc. I added I am VERY thankful for our wonderful therapist. I am also thankful my brother will be coming home soon. Alesia said, first thing, that she was thankful to be here and not in the orphanage, where she got beaten up. She also was thankful for her mom, her family, her teachers, who tried to help her, and her friends, who looked out for her. It was an impressive list. Michael was thankful for his family, Coco, and the delicious fruit salad.

After dinner we started watching Cleopatra, the Liz Taylor version. Alesia is learning her ancient history just the way I did, through movies! She is fascinated. She’s going to really be fascinated when we finish the movie and she sees Liz and Richard Burton together, and I tell her the back story there. Wowza.

This was Michael’s second Thanksgiving in America. Last year we were with a lot of the extended family in Myrtle Beach, but we ate in a restaurant. This year it was just us, but we ate a traditional meal. I pointed this out to him while we ate. He was just trying to plow through his turkey and dressing so he could eat his fruit salad….

ABC Should be Horsewhipped!!

I am not one to get on a soapbox but now I feel compelled to do so.

Tomorrow night on 20/20 they are running a show on how awful older kids are who are adopted from foreign countries. They say most kids have RAD [reactive attachment disorder], FAS, etc. The parents in the clip I saw obviously don't speak Russian, don't know how to help the little girls, and are just clueless.

The trailer is on this site:

http://abcnews. go.com/2020

This is the blurb: "Adopting from overseas has created more pain than joy for some parents."

It is APPALLING!! I watched the trailer and wanted to scream. They are basically saying if you adopt an older child that child will be a nightmare. I am ready to stop watching anything on ABC, in protest.

I have two older adopted kids. They are GOOD KIDS! They love me and are attached well. We've had no big behavior issues. They both see a therapist, and she has helped tremendously.

ABC is just grabbing for sensational stories, and they should be bombarded with protest emails.
The emails can be sent to:

http://abcnews. go.com/Site/ page?id=3271346& cat=20/20

Please join me in protesting this show.

Happy Thanksgiving, Uncle Bruce!

I sent my brother the following:

The kids were underwhelmed by the prospect of the 5 day weekend, probably because I made it clear I needed them to clean out the garage and help me with some yard work. I also want to put up the Christmas tree and get the house decorated. I paid them $5 each for the garage, and promised points for helping me with the other stuff, but they still weren’t enthusiastic. Oh well.

When I came home today the garage was spotless. Alesia told me later that she had done most of the work. I am sure that’s correct…

I told them last night, they should’ve been raised by Grandpa Tony. He just said “Do it” and you didn’t argue. I didn’t mention the rages he would fly into if we dared be the slightest bit resistant to his Mussolini-like parenting style. Alesia complained about the fact we don’t do enough “fun” activities as a family. I pointed out she got to go roller skating, we went bowling, and we went to Medieval Times, just in the past couple of weeks! I sure don’t remember doing that many fun things when we were growing up. I also pointed out to her that we didn’t have many clothes. Alesia has a ton of clothes. I think I was lucky if I had 3 pairs of pants that fit at any one time.

I didn’t mention walking 10 miles to school in the snow, but I was tempted.

Michael is bad about leaving his new glasses around the house. Last night when we headed up to bed I spotted them on the table next to the front door, and I would’ve carried them but I had to dash upstairs to the bathroom. When I came out, I told Michael to run down there and get them and put them on his dresser. He was lying on his bed, clearly tired. I had to argue with him and fuss at him to get him to go downstairs. He lost Gameboy privileges recently for refusing to do what he was told, and I had to threaten him last night. He finally came upstairs dragging himself as slowly as possible. Then he refused to brush his teeth. I was trying so hard not to lose my temper. I went in the bathroom and brushed my teeth and ignored him, and slammed stuff around in the bathroom. It was childish but it made me feel better. [The hairbrush is made of strong stuff because it didn’t break when I banged it on the counter about 10 times.] Finally, Michael came out of the bathroom toilet area where he had been hiding, and he ran to bed while I was telling Alesia good night.

I walked into his room and tried to act normal but he wasn’t having it. He was huddled on the side of the bed, facing away from me, curled up in a ball. Suddenly, I felt like The Worst Mom in the World. He is afraid of going downstairs in the dark alone. It reminds him of when his birthmom made him walk outside alone at night to buy her booze and threatened to beat him if he refused. Dark still scares him. Here I was being mean when he was tired and scared. Yes, he should’ve obeyed instantly, but I probably should’ve just let him go to sleep when I saw him on the bed, dozing off. I made a quick decision and then regretted it.

I stretched out on the bed beside him. He wouldn’t let me hug him. I apologized for losing my temper. He finally rolled over and hugged me. I didn’t make him brush his teeth. I wanted peace.

In some ways he is a lot easier than Alesia and in other ways he is harder.

I made a good dinner last night. I modified an Embry family recipe a bit because I was pushed for time. I took a package of three big, boneless chicken breasts, washed and salted them, and cut them into bite-sized pieces. I browned them in butter, salt and pepper. I mixed up in a bowl an 8 oz carton of sour cream and a can of Campbell’s Cream of Shrimp soup. [You can use any cream soup.] I added in some Lawrey’s seasoning salt, onion powder, black pepper, etc. I spread the mixture over the chicken and continued to cook. I then took 2 big flour tortillas and cut them into bite-sized pieces and threw them into the pot. They turned into dumplings. I stirred a couple of times, then I covered the skillet tight with foil [it was the big skillet we have no lid for] and simmered for about 20 minutes. I cooked some fresh asparagus and that was dinner. Even Mother said the chicken was good.

The original recipe calls for you to just put the chicken in a dish and bake it, with a topping of crumbled Ritz crackers mixed with butter and poppy seed. It’s really yummy that way, too, and you can serve it over pasta or rice.

I am working Friday. I am taking some days off at Christmas, though.

No more news to report.

What is the weather like over there now?!

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The kids drew pictures for him, which I scanned and emailed to him. They were also thank-you's for some $ he left them last week when he returned to Iraq.

 

This is the other side of Michael's drawing:

What's Wrong with History?

I saw this quote this morning and had to laugh:

History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
- Clarence Darrow

Then, of course, I had to look up Darrow. What made me laugh is that I am always trying to get my kids to develop an interest in history, and I have told them if they don’t learn about it they are doomed to repeat it. They don’t understand that yet. I am sort of hoping the words will just stay in their heads and haunt them, though.

I saw the funniest story on CNN about teenaged boys who violated a noise ordinance in their small town one time too many, and the judge finally sentenced them to listen to an hour of music like Barney and Barry Manilow. I do not know how to enbed videos, but here’s the page.

I read several blogs each day. Seems like someone’s always “tagged” and I get to read lists of things they like. So I will jump in here and give my lists. They are not in order, of course. I’d like to see an end to the economic crisis sooner than getting my hair cut…

8 TV shows I like to watch
1. I sometimes watch Are You Smarter than a 5^th Grader

2. Good Morning America

3. Today

4. Anything on HGTV

5. Anything on Food network

[That’s all I can come up with. I don’t watch much TV.]

8 places I like to eat

1. Shortys

2. Blue Ribbon Grill

3. My favorite Chinese restaurant, the name of which escapes me [because I seldom get to go there]

4. Spiced Right Barbeque

5. La Madeleine

6. The Mad Italian

7. Mama Fu’s

8. Steak & Shake

8 things that happened yesterday

1. Argued with Alesia in the car on the way to school.

2. Read an entire book to Michael that the therapist recommended.

3. Helped Alesia with a project on Spartacus.

4. Ate delicious homemade vegetable soup for dinner.

5. Watched All of Me

6. Applauded Michael for drinking more water.

7. Looked on ebay for bargains on the things my kids want for Christmas.

8. Made plans to send Leap Pad supplies and my kids’ outgrown clothes to a friend of mine.

8 things I look forward to
1. Being out of debt.

2. Getting myself in better physical shape.

3. Seeing Alesia succeed in school.

4. Both my kids getting out of adolescence.

5. Decorating the house for Christmas.

6. My brother’s safe return from Iraq.

7. My MAPREC Russian Christmas party.

8. My friend Cindy L bringing home her two little girls adopted from Kazakhstan.

8 things I love about Fall

1. Getting in the car and not sweating buckets.

2. The kids go back to school [well, actually that’s a mixed blessing]

3. Driving around, looking at the beautiful fall foliage.

4. Making pecan and pumpkin pies and pumpkin bread.

5. Cool weather conducive to the kids playing outside.

6. Getting a day off at Thanksgiving.

7. Looking forward to Christmas.

8. Planting bulbs.

8 things on my wish list
1. Haircut

2. Perfect parenting skills.

3. An end to the economic crisis.

4. DVD camcorder

5. A great diet.

6. Garden hoe.

7. More hours in the day.

8. Better gardening skills.

AN OBSERVATION

I was never a big Star Wars fan but I’d always been a big fan of Carrie Fisher. She is so witty and honest. I love this quote: “I think of my body as a side effect of my mind.” Amen, sister. After a long battle with addictions to drugs and alcohol, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Yet, she is one of the most funny, brilliant people in the world. I would love to be friends with her. I think…

Here’s the question that I ponder all the time, and have pondered for years: Why are so many brilliant, charismatic, witty people mentally ill? Does being a true original only happen when you push the envelope out to the edge of madness? I have had several dear friends in my life that I cared about very much, but eventually I had to break off the friendships because they revealed to me they were mentally ill. By “revealed to me” I mean they acted so bizarre I figured it out, not that they sat down and told me. I wish that had been the case. Nope, I finally had to back up and squint in order to see the craziness of their actions. Then I had to grieve over the loss of their friendship, knowing I didn’t want to get caught up in their crazy, and that they would never seek real help. People who are solidly mentally healthy are, I hate to say it, usually somewhat boring. I prefer good-hearted folks who are eccentric but not crazy. I know the risks of being friends with those folks, though... It’s a fine line.

FINALLY

I got this nice email from a friend of mine who is in my parents’ group, and I was really heartened to see there are resources for Learning Disabled kids like Alesia:

I read your post about colleges that offer assistance to students with learning needs. I work at a Christian independent school in Sandy Springs and numerous students from here have taken advantage of the opportunities offered at colleges around the county with Learning Resource centers. The University of Georgia has a GREAT one that has free tutoring, rooms for students to take every test/quiz for all their classes and to have "extended time," and a variety of other sources. Once Alesia gets her IEP you will have the documentation you need to include on her college aps. My school has a Learning Resource Specialist who works with students at our school who have a "learning difference" and she helps the teachers plan methods for teaching to those differences. If you need her name/email address let me know as she can assist with a list of colleges.

Moustache Man

It has been rainy and cold here all day. The past week has been cold, which is so weird for Atlanta. Highs have been in the 40’s and 50’s, with some bone-chilling winds. Usually we don’t see weather like that until January. I can usually wear shorts on Thanksgiving, and sometimes on Christmas.

The cold has made me reluctant to get out in the yard and tidy up the many dead pot plants and dead leaves. I also really need to rake the pine straw out of the front yard and put it in the back flowerbed. I am thinking about trading letting the kids “buy” computer time with yard work. I let the kids play games on my computer last night for about 45 minutes, and now they are eager to earn computer time. Their computer doesn’t have an internet connection. [Of course, I warned of dire consequences if they went on naughty sites.]

Michael is wearing out his eyeballs looking for impending signs of puberty, like armpit hair. He said to me the other day, “Look! Hair here!” pointing to his armpit. I put on my glasses. I didn’t see any hair at all and told him so. He has some hair on his legs but that’s it. He was disgusted I didn’t admire his armpits. He grabbed my camera and took a photo of his armpit. You can imagine how that turned out.

“Michael, if I can’t see the hair with my glasses on, 4 inches from your body, I’m sure the camera will not see that hair either, son,” I informed him. I was trying to be diplomatic. Fortunately, something interrupted us and that conversation ended without him going blind trying to see the nonexistent hair.

This morning at breakfast he informed us he now has a moustache. He said proudly “Alesia said she can see it!” I wanted to giggle but I couldn’t. Alesia has very sharp eyes and she could see a bruise on a gnat’s butt, but that didn’t make that moustache legit, to me. I said “Michael, everyone in the world is covered with fine hairs, even girls. Granny and I both have moustaches – that’s part of the fun of being an older woman, OK? I don’t see anything no your upper lip, though.”

Adolescent hormones have caused some hairy times with Alesia, pun intended, and I do not look forward to Michael in the throes of full-blown adolescence. He’s getting there fast, non-existent armpit hair notwithstanding. His voice is getting lower. His feet are getting bigger every day, it seems. He’s growing ¼ to ½ an inch a month. Hi face is losing that babyish quality.

Our movie tonight was “All of Me” the Steve Martin / Lily Tomlin classic. That’s a family favorite. One thing I like about it is that it teaches that what’s important in life isn’t money, it’s following your heart. Plus, of course, I think it’s Steve Martin’s most brilliant movie. I highly recommend it. There are a couple of mildly naughty seduction scenes so it’s not for little kids but it’s great for 10 and up.

As soon as Alesia saw the opening shot of Steve Martin getting out of bed, she said “He’s REALLY hairy!” I said “All men are hairy, hon, but you’re right, he’d win a prize for it. Let’s hope your brother isn’t ever that hairy…”

My Girl, Medusa

We've had a great day, rather busy as always.

After buying groceries, I took the kids roller skating while Mother napped. Alesia had wanted to do it last weekend but I vetoed the idea, since Bruce was here. I got some reading done, with my ears stuffed full of Kleenex so I wouldn't hear the obnoxious music. I am reading Paula Deen's autobiography, which is really interesting. Her father was missing part of his leg due to an accident.

Alesia was very upset with me this morning, sobbing because I had taken away her mascara as a consequence for failing her Geometry test last week. I thought I had gotten all her makeup the other day but the mascara had been overlooked. Anyway, I felt like The World's Cruelest Mommy, when she wouldn't get out of bed today. I finally relented and said she could use the mascara, since she refused to leave the house. She cannot have her hair straightening iron back until December 1, though.

After her shower tonight she put about a dozen tiny braids in her hair. It will look quite bizarre tomorrow but I don't plan to say anything to her, my little Medusa..

We had a wonderful piece of news today - Bruce's deployment in Iraq ends February 1st. So he should be home shortly after that.

I posted the note below on my message board for the Yahoo group for parents of adopted kids with limb differences, and on my Single Moms group board. I thought it was amusing. I bet everyone else read it and thought, that woman is just a weirdo.

As most of you know, My son Michael, adopted in April 2007 from Kazakhstan, is missing his right hand. He was beaten by a gang when he was small and lost the hand to frostbite. He functions really well now, though. He is 12.

While we were waiting to see the therapist yesterday there was a little 4 year old girl in the waiting room. She was a cute, lively little girl. Her mom was in with the therapist. I chatted with her for
a few minutes, with Michael nearby.

She finally asked me in a very demanding voice "Now where is his hand, hmmm?" like he was hiding it.

I panicked. I had no idea what to say. It shouldn't have taken me by surprise but it really did. I could not think what on earth to say. So I just blurted out "Michael is from Kazakhstan. When he was small, a MONSTER ate his hand!"

I figured she'd say something like, no, what really happened, but she didn't. Her eyes got real big.

I looked at Michael and he was grinning. He thought it was funny. He showed her his little arm. That seemed to satisfy her.

She went back to playing with something else for a while. A little later, she went up to him and said "Hey! Let me see where the monster bit you!" She grabbed his sleeve and he tucked his little arm by his side like he had no arm at all. She was peering up into his sleeve, but he wouldn't pull out his little arm again. Michael was laughing.

I can't recommend this approach to dealing with questions about limb differences. The little girls mom probably hates my guts now, but I thought it was funny.

Yep, I am a loony...

Movie Review of Twilight and Fabulous Desserts

Let me start by saying this is a totally frivolous blog post.

Alesia saw the movie Twilight this afternoon and you can read my interview of her on my movie review site here.

Somebody sent me an email which I keep looking at and looking at. I'm not going to copy all the photos here, but some of these are absolutely amazing. These are all CAKES.

 
I like this purse. It would be hard to eat it. I'd manage, though.

The above image is exactly how I looked before I quit smoking.

The image above is supposed to be a Russian fur hat, I think. That's what Alesia thought. In Russian stores, when you buy something, you put the money in a bowl on the counter, and they give you change in the bowl. There aren't hand to hand transfers of money. I don't know why that's the custom.

The kitchen and the sewing machine are SO VERY COOL!