The
act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. – David Hare
I am thinking of a historic figure, a very
famous man, whose name I am sure you know. Yet, here are some things you may
not know - he came from very humble beginnings, was poor and not well educated,
and had to get married at 18 because his girlfriend was pregnant. His name?
William Shakespeare. Today is Shakespeare’s birthday. He was arguably the greatest writer in
history. What a story, huh? Too bad he never wrote his autobiography so we
could better understand his life.
In Shakespeare’s day, people didn’t “retire.” Maybe if he had, we would know more of his story.
I have shared here before that I have a
childhood friend named Jimmy who is battling cancer. I got a distressing update
on his condition this morning. The doctor is telling him the next surgery has
been canceled because the cancer in his lungs is too far advanced. Jim is a man
of faith and I hope God will give him the strength and courage to see this
battle through to the end, whenever that may be. He has two children, a boy and
a girl, almost the same ages as my kids. I hate to think of them losing him. Please
pray for Jimmy.
I keep thinking of this, which is a prayer
we say as our service is getting ready to end:
“Eternal
God, Heavenly Father, you have graciously accepted us as living members of your
son our savior Jesus Christ, and you have fed us with spiritual food in the
sacrament of his body and blood. Send us now into the world in peace, and grant
us strength and courage, to love and serve you, with gladness and singleness of
heart.”
Some people don’t like the fact that after years
of going to the Episcopal church you get the service memorized. I like that
fact. I find it very comforting. I particularly like this prayer, because it
doesn’t
tell God what we want, it says basically give us strength and courage to accept
whatever happens, knowing God is in our heart. I like that.
I am going to send Jimmy a message and urge
him to write his life story, for his children. Whether he lives one more year,
or 30 more years, his children will want to know his story.
A buddy of mine at work was telling me yesterday
that he has the same kind of learning disability as Alesia, the auditory
processing issues, but he was never diagnosed as a kid. He’s a little older than me.
However, he figured out what was wrong, and was able to be pretty successful in
school once he figured out work-arounds. However, the high school counselor
told him he was “not
college material” and
so he never even applied to college, opting instead for the navy. How sad that
learning disabilities used to be so misunderstood.
I urged him to try and write down his story,
to give to his kids one day. Children need to hear about difficulties their
parents have overcome, and how they did it. I think his story is a triumph. He
now has a good job and is a respected professional. He didn’t let the learning issues ruin his
life. That takes strength and courage, overcoming that kind of thing.
My father grew up poor, in a small town in
Georgia. His father was barely literate. His mother was a teacher, though, and
she inspired him and his brothers to learn. My uncles went to college on the GI
bill after World War II. Dad just had to work his way through college and grad
school. He had some form of dyslexia, I now realize, because although he was an
avid reader, he could not spell. I mean, he couldn’t spell “cat” – I am not exaggerating. I don’t know what that’s called. However, he went on to
have a successful banking career and to have both his kids graduate college. My
uncles also finished college, and master’s degrees, and became teachers. My family isn’t unique in that, either.
My dad liked to talk about his family, so I
know his stories. I really wish he had written down the story of his life,
however, as something I could pass along to my children.
My mother’s story is similar. She grew up in a family that,
while not exactly poor, always had money issues. Both my grandparents had to
work hard to make ends meet. Mother started working when she was 15, and worked
throughout high school and college. She put some of her money towards helping
her older brother pay for college. When it came time for her to go to college,
there was no money for it. She had to work to get herself through. She talks
about those days sometimes.
Both my parents had to be strong and
resourceful to overcome real difficulties in their lives. They are great
examples to me.
I am getting ready to publish my book about
Alesia’s
adoption. I want to inspire people. I also want her to know what I went
through, because it was the most important fight of my life. It’s entitled Adopting Alesia:
My Crusade for My Russian Daughter. The almost two years it took to
complete her adoption were a real rollercoaster ride. There were so many
setbacks, and so many naysayers. I cried all the time. I wrote, and I cried.
Two remarkable and wonderful things happened as a result. One, I have my
beautiful daughter. Two, I have a lot more faith in God. At times, when it
seemed like doors were slamming in my face and I would never get Alesia home, I
learned to just pray, and ask others to pray for us. It’s literally a LEAP of faith,
when it seems like everything is against you, and yet you rely on God to see
you through, and he always comes through.
My friend Cindy L is going through a long
adoption ordeal right now, trying to bring her two daughters home from
Kazakhstan. I have read her blog and cried many times, so empathetic for her
plight. Cindy has great wisdom and strength, though. I read her blog every day because she is so inspiring. What a wonderful legacy she has to pass
down to her sons, and one day soon, I hope, to her daughters.
When I suggested he write down his story for
his kids, my work friend said he wasn’t a writer. Um, I have to disagree. He can write
emails and reports. He can write business letters. If he can do that, he can
write. Writing is a skill like any other – it’s honed through practice. If you don’t practice you will never
improve. Writing what’s in your heart is a good way to put things in
perspective, too. I advised him to just write a few sentences every day, and
get in the habit, and one day he would have a story to give his son.
I urge all of you, try and take some time
each day and write about your life. Tell your kids and grandkids your story.
Tell them not just the facts, but the feelings. Take months or years if
necessary. How did it feel to live through the forming of your family? What
were your parents like? What kinds of jobs have you had? Where were you on
9/11? How did that affect you? How do you feel about God? What lessons have you
learned in your life? What are your feelings about the current recession? All
of these things are just jumping-off places.
Start by thinking, if you were going to die
soon, what would you want to leave as your legacy? How can you inspire your
kids and grands? What hard-won wisdom can you pass along? You don’t have to be Shakespeare. You
just have to give it your best. Write what’s in your heart. Go back and edit it later. That’s the beauty of a computer.
Like Shakespeare, your words
can live long after you are gone.
2007 shot of Michael and family friend, Miss Jean
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