Really
tired and sleepy today. Had to fight to stay awake when I was in the car on the
interstate, which is not good. I got extra sleep last night, too. Guess it’s a
combination of mental and physical exhaustion.
I like a lot of things about Buddhism. I think
that one can learn something from every major religion or philosophy. I really
liked this article about the Buddhist practice of mindfulness.
I want to practice it more. It’s sort of a meditation. The part I really liked
was the idea to not nitpick the past or worry about the future, but to be
mindful of the present. Washing dishes can be a mediation [I once wrote a poem
about it]. Playing piano, putting on shoes and socks – anything can encourage
mindfulness. It’s a
way to lessen anxiety and promote mental health, is one way of seeing it. I
like that.
As my life gets more and more complex – I already turned my work
calendar to May, and I am planning how best to help Michael with his social
studies project due Friday – I need to be more mindful. I need to pay attention
to the here and now. I worry too much about the future. When I am thinking hard
about something I tend to gnaw on my fingernails, scratch my feet, play with my
hair, etc. Anxiety is an ugly thing.
When my father was dying of cancer and I was
driving back and forth to Augusta every weekend, I found listening to books on
tape kept me sane, kept me from crying all the time, and really helped me. I
shut everything out of my mind except the sound of the voice reading the book.
It was such a small activity but it literally helped me stay sane and not wreck
the car.
Yesterday, I was sitting next to the plot
where my aunt’s
ashes are interred, and I was listening to the bible verses being read by the
priest, and I thought, I do not want to cry here. I need to be present in the
moment, and not draw attention to myself. I need to hold myself together for
the sake of my cousins. I let the words wash over me, and I watched the ants.
The ants helped me.
I just re-read that previous paragraph and I
am proud for sounding so together and focused. Now I have to be honest. The
burial ground is back in the woods, and it was very peaceful and serene, unless
you are me. I was thinking, OMG, IS THAT POISON IVY?! Is that ant going to bite
my foot? Are there brown recluse spiders out here?! Walking in the woods is my
idea of hell. Sitting there even for a brief time nearly killed me. I decided
to concentrate on the ants. Of course, I was also fully aware that if a red
aunt had started climbing on my foot I was likely to jump up and start
screaming. I prayed the ants would leave me alone. They did. Thanks, God.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
You
are going to hate yourself over this.
It
scores automatically, too.
If
you get less than 3 wrong on the first try I will be VERY impressed!!!
It
is FUN...
Click here: How Smart Are You?
SPONSOR A STUDENT
Opening Your Home to a Foreign Scholarship Student
Every year, more than 1100 high
school students from former Soviet countries come to the U.S. to study for one
year in American high schools and live with American host families. These
students are participants on the Future Leaders Exchange (FLEX) program, funded
by Congress and sponsored by the U.S. Department of State. American
Councils for International Education will be working with 45 of these students
during the 2009-2010 school year and we are currently looking for families of
all kinds in the U.S. interested in opening their homes to these young
people. These students have gone through a very competitive selection
process to earn the right to represent their countries and have been
chosen for their fluency in English as well as qualities of
leadership. While in the U.S. , students will study in American
high schools, be involved in community service in their towns, and take part in
activities that will develop them as leaders and deepen their appreciation for
the importance of civic responsibility. Students receive a monthly
stipend, health insurance, funds for school-related expenses and enrichment activities
and are supported by a local coordinator in their community.
FLEX students who still need host
families are from such cities as:
Russia – Belebey, Irkutsk , Kaliningrad ,
Kazan , Krasnoyarsk , Moscow , Saint-Petersburg, Sarov, Strezhevoy, Vladivostok
, Volgograd
Ukraine – Brody,
Dzhankoy, Hadyach, Ivano-Frankivsk, Kolomyya, Kostopil, Kranohrad, Lviv, Nova
Kakhovka, Radekhiv, Zaporizhzhya
Kazakhstan – Pavlodar
American Councils is looking
for families willing to host who are able to provide students with a safe,
nurturing and English-speaking environment, a place to sleep (sharing a room is
okay), meals and snacks as you would normally provide a member of your family
and a quiet place to study. All types of families are welcome including those
with teenagers or younger children in the home, retirees, “empty nesters”,
young couples and single parent families.
For more information, or to
share information with others, please visit http://apps.americancouncils.org/acinbound
or contact Brian Peterson in American Councils’ placement office in Washington
, DC at 202-833-7522 or [email protected]
.
