It’s been a horrible day, one of the
worst in recent memory.
I woke up this morning with one of
the worst sinus headaches I’ve ever had. I had gotten up at about 5 and taken
some Motrin but it didn’t help much. When I got up again about 7:45, I used the
Neti Pot, which always helps clear out the sinuses, but even it didn’t do much.
The headache gradually got better as the morning wore on, though.
Our neighbor that Alesia babysits
for called this morning, and so she had a child watching job this afternoon. Michael had his tennis match, and Alesia loves playing
with little Mia, so it was good timing. Jenean’s husband paid Michael to come
help him do some yard work, which was very nice of him. I can seldom get
Michael to do anything to help me in the yard.
We went to Sherry’s vegetable stand after picking up Michael,
and got our weekly supply of tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, and a cantaloupe, and
some fresh herbs which I put in pots late this afternoon.
Michael went up to the tennis courts
about 1:30 to practice. Right after I picked him up, I checked the messages on
my phone and I had two from my cousin Tony, saying his mother was very sick.
Tony’s mother is my uncle Lewis’ widow and lives in Rome, Georgia, about 1 ½
hours away. So, all day I have been waiting for Tony to call and say his
mother, Evalyn, had died. I talked to him late this afternoon and she was
hanging on. She has COPD and broke her hip a few weeks ago.
It’s very sad, to me, to think of
Evalyn dying. She is a special person. She has always been wonderful to me. She
always made me feel smart, and special. People never forget how you make them
feel.
Right now I feel so bad for her
children. Even though they are in their 50’s, it’s rough to lose both parents
within a few years. They have no children of their own, either, to keep them
busy.
I cried all the way to Mike’s tennis
match, and I cried a bit more when I got there. I finally got it under control
and just watched the match.
Michael and his doubles partner were
terrific. They beat the other team 8-0. It was very hot [85] and uncomfortable,
but the courts were nice. They were at a country club with a beautiful pool,
clubhouse, and stables, right next to the Chattahoochee River, which you could
see form the courts.
When we got home, after chatting
with Mother and Aleisa, I went outside to work on my plants. Michael had a hard
plastic ball and asked me if he could bounce it off the side of the house. My
mind was a million miles away and I absentmindedly said yes. Suddenly, out of
nowhere, the ball ricocheted off the house and hit me in the eye, very hard.
Knocked my glasses off. Felt like my eye was knocked out. I screamed and
screamed. Mother and Alesia came running out. Mike apologized. We got ice on it
quickly.
Mother told me that she had told
Michael last week it was not OK to bounce the ball off the house like that.
Then I told him it was OK, like an idiot. The ball could’ve broken a window. It
could’ve knocked over one of my pots or my plants, etc. Throwing it was
extremely careless. Michael felt bad.
We came upstairs and I let Michael
watch some TV while I checked email. I told him he needed to take a shower. He
said he was tired.
I explained that after a match or a
game, athletes need to shower. He said he wanted to shower in the morning. I
explained that both Mother and I need to shower in the morning and we won’t
have enough hot water for hot showers for three people. He still refused to shower.
I told him about 5 times, he needed to get in the shower. He wouldn’t do it. Finally, I just lost it. I started crying and crying, very loud. Alesia ran in to comfort me. Michael left. I just was so fed up with his behavior, and it was such a distressing and tense day, and I just lost it. Michael still didn’t shower. Alesia told him. Mother tried to talk to him and he walked away from her, went in his room and shut the door, which was very rude.
Eventually, he showered, but only after I went in his room and dragged him out from behind his bed. I was very sweet to him. It was extremely hard. He simply didn't want to do what he was told. He wants to run his own life. He doesn't understand he isn't capable of it yet.
Michael has gotten where if he doesn’t
want to do what he’s told, he just refuses. No amount of bribes, reasoning,
threats of punishment, etc. will move him. It’s incredibly frustrating. I have
got to get the therapist or Bruce or somebody to talk to him. There are times
it’s OK to negotiate, and times when he just needs to do what he’s told.
As we were brushing teeth, I told
him, “Michael, you need me to take care of you, and teach you things. You have
to obey me. You can’t survive out there on your own. You need me. You are 12
years old. You are too young to run your own life.” He glared at me. “This is
not a tiny village in Kazakhstan, boy, this is a big, bad city.”
When I went in a few minutes later
to tell him good night, he was huddled on the far side of the bed, clearly
angry at me. I kissed his head and prayed. Before leaving, he said to
me very coldly, “By the way, I could survive out there. I don’t need you.”
It’s a battle for control. I am so
upset. I may have to drive to Rome tomorrow or Monday. I feel like I need to be
there for Tony and Lilla, who are my cousins. Yet, I have this little boy who
only obeys when he feels like it. It’s SO frustrating.
Pray for us...
Mike in his tennis outfit this afternoon.
