When I was a kid, I used to swear that I
would be different from my parents when I grew up. I would not live in the
suburbs. I would not have two children – I would have 3! I would live in a house that was
interesting and/or exotic, and my kids would be amazing offshoots of me and my
gorgeous husband. We would be a fabulous family, brilliant, innovative, and
beautiful.
Life is funny. Never quite turns out like
you think it’s
going to, huh?!
Here I am, raising two kids in the suburbs,
in a typical 1970’s house.
No man around, just my mom. Plus a medically fragile dog, a driveway that’s bumpy, a half-dead fridge, and
an old car. Seriously.
I read something today that said Mommy Blogs
always sugarcoat everything and paint too rosy a picture. Maybe I do that, too.
If you could see how messy and dusty my room
is, you would not think the picture so rosy. And Lord knows you don’t want to open the door of my
closet. No-one is allowed in there. It’s a huge walk-in closet and the junk in there
frightens even me.
Getting Michael to school on time is always
iffy. This morning I was trying to do something with my wet hair and get out
the door and Michael said softly “Not to bother you or anything but WE HAVE TO GO!”
OK, well, the big 3 minutes I allot for dressing
and personal grooming is clearly self-indulgent. I’ll cut it down to 1 minute.
Alesia expressed great irritation at
breakfast because she needs to attend her IEP meeting tomorrow after school.
She wants to ride home on the bus. She said meetings are “boring.” I didn’t handle her attitude very well.
I told her basically that after I had busted my butt trying to get the IEP in
the first place, the least she can do is sit through the meeting. Oh, and by
the way, life is filled with meetings no matter what you do, so get used to it.
We are both cranks in the morning.
She called me at 3:30 today and asked why I
wasn’t at
school. I said because the meeting is tomorrow. She missed the bus. Granny had
to pick her up. Granny missed her nap, and was not pleased.
When they got back to the house and called
me, I told Mother the kids have to complete a chore list before they can play
games or watch TV or do anything else recreational. Mother was on the
speakerphone. Alesia said “Why are you giving us chore lists on a weekday?!”
“Well,
because I am the meanest mom in the world, OK? See you in a little bit.”
She had just told me she only had a little
bit of homework. Michael had none because they are doing CRCT testing.
Here are their onerous chore lists and the
estimated time to do each:
ALESIA
Load and run dishwasher [her regular job] - 5
minutes
Put the Lime tree on the back patio - 2
minutes
Make your sandwich for tomorrow - 5 minutes
Make bed and put away clean clothes -10-15
minutes
Do homework - 30 minutes
MICHAEL
Put stuff in blue box and put blue box on
street [recycling] – 5 minutes
Pick up branches and sticks in front yard
and put in sack on lanai – 15 minutes
Make your sandwich for tomorrow and put it
in the fridge - 5 minutes
Alesia called me a bit later to ask if I
happened to have any spare poster board in my room. Hmmm… so I am supposed to
just keep that from now on? And the project is due when, tomorrow?? Funny how
these things slip one’s mind. And yet, one has time for painting fingernails
every day.
Over an hour after Alesia got up today, she
came to breakfast in her pajamas. She spent an HOUR on hair and makeup. I don’t
let her wear much makeup, just a little eye shadow and mascara. I don’t think I
have ever spent an hour on hair and makeup, even when I’ve been in plays. When
I was in The Mikado at UGA I spent far less than an hour fixing my hair and
makeup to transform myself into a Japanese maiden.
Funny story. After the dress rehearsal for
Mikado, a bunch of us in the play went to a bar called The Dawg House and
proceeded to drink some pitchers of beer. I left on my Japanese makeup [clown
white face, bee-stung red lips, reddish-brown hair down in my face] and jeans
and a tee shirt. To say I looked weird would be an understatement. (Then again,
in Athens in 1983 there were a lot of weird looking folks everywhere. The
B-52’s and REM are from Athens…) Anyway, that night some of the tech guys
brought in some fake bricks made of Styrofoam and after a few beers we decided
it would be very funny to thrown bricks around the room. Of course, they were
like nerf balls, but we freaked out some drunken frat boys before the manager
took our bricks away…
I spent all day yesterday waiting for the
eye doctor to call me back. I finally talked to him late this afternoon. He
wasn’t clear the
other day about using the eye drops he gave me. I have to put the drops in my
eyes every day for 2 weeks and wear glasses only. I go back May 2nd. Aaaargh!!
I hate wearing my glasses. On a bright sunny day, I have to wear sunglasses to
drive, and I just wear them over the glasses. (Looks real peculiar but I don’t wreck the car.)
I told him the bifocal contacts didn’t work great. He said he could
probably improve their performance by changing the prescription. I’m not sure. I asked a lady on my
team who wears bifocal contacts and she says although she can read without
glasses, she has to wear glasses to drive. I would not like that. I have a
sinking feeling that one way or another I will be wearing some combination of
contacts and glasses for the rest of my life.
