This is an interview with my son, Michael, who is almost 13. Totally.
So, Mike, what's up, Dude?
I hate when people ask that question. No mom, I was just joking. Aaaaagh! Mom!!!
OK. Let's try this again. Are you having fun this summer? Like, at all?
Yes, some parts of it. Well, most, otherwise than being with Alesia sometimes.
I feel you, Dawg. What does she do that gets on your last nerve?
Pretty much everything. Don't write that down. OK, you can put that down.
Totally normal, Dude. You're her little brother. If you got along too well, I'd be worried... So, tennis. How's that?
Totally cool! I love it.
If you could do anything this summer, price no object, what would you like to do?
[After I explain "price no object"] Um, jump off an airplane!
OK, with diapers, or not? No, wait, that would be me....
Take that part out! Mother!
[Michael is shaking his head.]
OK, why would you like to jump out of an airplane, other than seeing the look on my face? use your words.
Because I'm fearless! I AM!
Did you do anything fun today? I mean, other than CVS?
I made my poor omelet. That was kind of fun. It didn't taste right.
OK, well, we'll have another omelet-making lesson tomorrow. What would you like to eat for breakfast tomorrow, if you could have anything in the world?
Donuts and coffee.
So, you want to be a policeman when you grow up??
Not really. It does seem fun, but...
What are you thinking about doing?
Living.
Duh. try again.
Be a comedian!
You're already a comedian, son. Why do you want to do that? Because, like, that won't get you a college scholarship. Let's think scholarship...
Why'd you put everything about the scholarship? I'm not there yet.
Just joking. I am a comedian. The apple never falls far from the tree.
Just keep on going.
Why do you want to be a comedian?
It'll be nice to see my mom wearing diapers a few years later, and laughing.
Mike: Any more, or are you out of ideas?!
Anything else you'd like to tell America?? Your philosophy of life?
Go to the bathroom, eat, sleep, that's the life. Just the simple stuff.
Great. I won't worry about what to get you for your birthday?!! :-)
Do you love your mama, boy?
Oh, sure, M'am!
Mike chose this shot himself. I like it too... He looks like a hippie!!
Mike walks away, shaking his head in disgust. "This is really fun! Hope we can do it again sometime. not."