The Crab Chronicles

Technical Difficulties

Yesterday was a day of thunderstorms, off and on. I took the kids up to a small water park in Lawrenceville, which is about 30 minutes north of here, and they had a lot of fun - for 1.5 hours. Then it started thundering and we had to leave because they closed. My friend Melissa is planning to go back today with her kids and my kids, and I am praying the rain has moved out, so they can stay longer.

We ended the day at our neighborhood pool and had a great time. I even swam a few laps. There was nobody there but us. Electricity was out in the neighborhood, but the lifeguard let us swim since there were only the 4 kids and me - my two plus friends.

My internet connection is messed up. Grr.... I will blog more later.

UPDATE

Got the internet back, praise God!

Melissa has the kids at the water park again today, so I can catch up with myself a little. Had a job interview this morning that went well, I think. Sounds like a fun job and I hope I get it.

Some shots from yesterday:

Alesia and K in the water -

All the kids loved this huge water slide -

That's Mike and Clay up there, shooting water pistols -

here are the two boys. Don't they look like imps?!

Tried to get Alesia to pose but all I got was the back of her, typical...

Going to Walmart

Mother sent me this and I thought it was too funny -

Men's 
Age as Determined by a Trip to Walmart. 

A man is in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. He is hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint.  He has his old work clothes on.  You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. 
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project he realizes he  needs to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on his age he may do the following: 

---

In your 
20's:

Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.  Check yourself in the mirror and flex.  Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.


In 
your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.  Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it.  Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.


In 
your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different  shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart.  Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.  The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is hot. 

 

In your 
50's:

Stop what you are doing.  Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.  Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car.  Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat  The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .' 


In your 
60's:

Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat anymore.  Hose the dog shit off your shoes.  The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.  The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.


In your 
70's:

Stop what you are doing.  Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too.  Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
 

In your 80's: 


Stop what you are doing.  Start again.  Then stop again.  Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart.  Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Cake Wednesday

Woke up with a terrible sinus headache, and then the toilet stopped up. What a way to start the day. The headache persisted all day, although it got better around lunchtime. If we could just go ahead and get a good rain, I think it would help.

 

I had to wait for the plumber, so we didn’t go anywhere today.

 

When I went downstairs for lunch, Michael told me “The house feels empty without a cake!” So we got out a Duncan Hines Lemon Supreme cake mix and made a lemon pound cake. The kids really did it, but I supervised and greased the bundt pan we have been making cakes in since I was a kid. I am particular about greasing cake pans. The cake turned out really yummy.

 

I had a call from an attorney about a possible job, and I am going in for an interview on Friday morning. I am hopeful it may work out. It’s part-time but the office is close to here and there would be benefits.

 

Alesia put a pork roast in the slow cooker for me this morning. She has gotten to be such a good cook, it was fork tender at dinner. I am trying to train myself to buy less expensive meat and slow cook it until tender – saves money. The roast was a Boston Butt – I’ve always thought that such a funny name. My father used to cook them on the grill all day until they fell apart, then he’d chop the meat and make delicious barbeque. I don’t have the patience to tend a grill all day but the slow cooker did really well.

 

The kids have spent most of the day playing games – cards, Sims, computer games. On quiet days they are really good about entertaining themselves and as they’ve matured they’ve become good buddies.

 

We finished watching Benjamin Button tonight. I am not a big fan of Brad Pitt but he was wonderful. He should’ve gotten an Oscar. It’s such a contemplative, beautiful film. I am amazed it did well at the box office, but glad it did.

Here's a nice still from the movie:

My Young Man/Boy

Mother has been blogging away, and you can see her latest post here. You go, Mom!

As the parent of an older adopted child, there’s a wistfulness sometimes, a longing to have seen my children as little ones. I hate that I missed those cute years. I looked at Michael’s face just now, in the dim light of his room, and I could see the young man he’s becoming. I know my baby is in there, close to the surface. He often still wants to be cuddled, like tonight when his teeth hurt from the braces.

 

I look at Alesia, too, and barely remember the little elfin girl from the orphanage. I see this poised young lady, already at ease more and more behind the wheel of a car, and I marvel at her.

 

Michael asked me why he is never sick.

 

“You’re blessed with a strong immune system. Sometimes children who are never exposed to dirt or germs get sick all the time when they go to school, because their bodies haven’t built up their immunities,” I replied.

 

“But I was stick all the time in the orphanage,” he said.

 

“You were around a lot of other kids and I bet they didn’t always wash their hands. Also, here you get lots of good food, fruits and vegetables, and vitamins.”

 

“Go to sleep now, Sweetie.”

 

The sweetest times are tucking my children into bed, even if Alesia has that radio on and is reading one of those fat Meyer books about the teenaged vampires.

 

Tonight we were cleaning shrimp for dinner, and she told me she wished she were a vampire. She was giggling when she said it. I teased her about it a bit. “You just want to date that cute vampire guy with the girly hair!”

 

“Mom!” She quickly changed the subject. “Eeeuw, I hate doing this!” she exclaimed. She told me she wouldn’t eat any shrimp, they were too yucky. Then she ate a good helping of them at dinner.

 

Michael ate lots of shrimp, a bisquit with blueberry jam, and a huge bowl of cantaloupe. I wish I had grown it, but mine are not here yet. Lots of blooms, though.

 

We are fortunate to have a fish shop nearby that sells good quality shrimp and fish, without all the chemicals you get when they are frozen and shipped to the big chain stores. The fish store has a lot of exotic things there, too, that we don’t eat. When I was in there Sunday a tall, handsome black man came in and bought 5 lbs. of crawfish and 2 lbs. of frog legs. Michael wanted to go home with him.

 

I am trying to get the kids motivated to do some academic things before going back to school. Despite being home all summer, I have not had much success at getting Michael to do workbook pages. I told him today if he’d do 4 pages he could play on my computer for 30 minutes.

 

Alesia got the same deal for doing an exercise in a workbook filled with exercises to help her develop abstract thinking skills.

 

I can’t afford another internet connection, but I let them have a little time on my computer, with warnings. I check history, and warn them never to click popups.

 

The new Yahoo/AT&T email seems to always have a large photo on my email page of something yucko, like cellulite-covered legs, or a wrinkled face, or yellowed teeth. Do people really click on those things?! I never want to encourage those sorts of ads so I try hard to ignore them.

 

GREAT SHRIMP

Here's how I sautee shrimp: melt a stick of butter in a skillet on low heat. Add 1 or 2 cloves of fresh garlic, minced fine [I use a garlic press], juice of 1/2 lemon or lime, 1 tbsp. balsamic vinegar, 1 tbsp. vermouth or sherry, fresh ground pepper, salt, 1-2 tbsps. soy sauce, a few drops Tabasco. Put in shrimp on low and turn until pink and opaque. Serve over rice.

Boy Needs Home

We've had a really laid-back day, which was great. Michael had an orthodontist appointment and Dr. C said everything looks fine. He had two teeth that had never come in because there wasn't room in his mouth, and now they are coming in. Of course, tightening and adjusting the braces always hurts, so he's had aspirin today, to try and make the discomfort manageable.

My corn is getting tassels and it looks like there are about 4 ears developing. I am excited about that.

Every once in a while I feel compelled to try and advocate for a child needing a home. However, I have now been informed my assistance in finding a home for a child I hear about is not necessary. I am puzzled, but I am complying with the request to remove the information. Seems to me like someone advocating to find a home for the boy would want to reach as many people as possible, but maybe there are facts I am not aware of. In any event, in an effort to not cause problems, I took down the rest of this post.

It's always sad when adoptions are disrupted. 

Please pray the little boy finds the right family. I am praying.

Camera Shy

It just occurred to me that I forgot to do a blog entry yesterday. Oops.

We had a very slow and quiet day, and just goofed around. I took the kids to Walmart to pick up a few things, and we ran by Old Navy and let Alesia look for jeans. Other than that, nothing much happened.

Thought I'd give y'all a little photo essay.

When you adopt a child from Russia or Kaz you have to do a post-placement report every year for several years, and include photos. I try to take lots of photos of the kids. A lot of times I get results like the photos below. We were on vacation and I stupidly thought the kids would be OK with making photos.

Someday when she is famous, this is the face Alesia will give the paparazzi:

It's better than this face, which looks like she just drank a lot of cough syrup...

I have lots of photos of their backs.

Here, they were fascinated because someone dropped their cell phone in the water.

This shot, though, from the mini golf course, is my favorite. I showed this to Alesia the other day and she said "Who is that girl?!"

My cousin sent me the cute photo below of her "boys" and I had to laugh, because the looks on their faces are all about "don't take our photo, Mama!"

Slug Saturday

I have been a useless slug all day. Slept late. Didn't do anything useful all day except water the gardens.

I left the house only once, to take the kids to our favorite local all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. On the way home we picked up a Wendy burger for Granny. She isn’t big on Chinese buffets.

 

The kids like this particular buffet because they can get sushi, as well as the standard dishes, chicken on a skewer, eggrolls, etc. It’s a pretty eclectic buffet. Michael mixed up wasabi and soy sauce and dipped his first sushi roll into it, and chewed with a look of pain on his face and tears in his eyes. “That’s not even hot,” he said slowly. Alesia laughed. “Michael I can SEE the tears in your eyes!” she said accusingly. “No, not hot, “ he insisted.

 

The game was on. Wasabi was flying.

 

I finally said “Look, enough. This is supposed to be a nice lunch, not an endurance contest.

 

Michael had eaten an entire plate full of food after a while, and he said “My stomach isn’t even FULL. I need MORE.”

 

“Have at it. Eat whatever you want,” I encouraged him, knowing we would have a nutritious dinner. He cannot be filled up any more.

 

Alesia ate heartily, then came home and took a nap. Michael read, and I read.

 

At 5:45, the power went off, for 30 minutes. Yuck. I was praying the entire time. It’s too hot to be without power. The high today was close to 90, and the same thing is forecasted for tomorrow.

 

I was able to pick enough green beans from my garden to serve with dinner tonight. That makes me incredibly edibly happy. Michael ate all of his soup and salad at dinner, then informed me he couldn’t hold anything else, especially not the green beans I had given him in a small bowl. I was taken aback. He loves green beans. “I really don’t like these homegrown beans, Mom,” he finally admitted.

 

He prefers Del Monte Blue Lake green beans to homegrown beans! Aaargh!

 

My corn is getting growths on it that likely will turn into CORN! Not just any corn either, silver queen  – the absolute best corn of all time. I cannot wait. I planted almost 20 corn plants and about 16 are thriving. Mother said I had to make sure there was cross pollination. Well how on earth do I do that? I can’t tell male plants from female plants.

 

How come wonderful corn has to come from cross pollination? Why can’t it just come from a test tube?!  My corn plants have to get it on, right out there in the side yard?! I hope they’ve been doing it, quietly of course. They’re behind a privacy fence, so not visible from the street.  I want to eat my own corn at least once this summer.

 

Maybe I ought to put a boombox out there and put on some Barry White music, hope they feel the magic in the moonlight…

 

 

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Weeks ago, I signed on to be part of the Decatur Book Festival – “The largest independent book festival in the nation.” I had no idea of how big it is, or who would be there. Now, I feel scared and humbled. Peruse this list and tell me it’s not amazing. On that long list of distinguished authors, there’s me. Like a real author. I don’t like the expression “OMG” but that’s what went through my mind when I saw that list. Mary Kay Andrews will be there. Rick Bragg. Nathalie Dupree. And me. I will be the enormous sweaty blob of terror trying to locate all the bathrooms and stay near them.

 

I will be reading and talking on one day, and signing books another day. I need to get it figured out. I only have 15 minutes to talk. I imagine they will stuff a sock in my mouth and boot me off the stage when they find out I am incapable of stopping after that amount of time. Heck, I will barely be warmed up by then.

Music from the Past

Have you ever been given something from your past, something that you don’t even remember?

 

Through the magic of Facebook, I reconnected with an old friend from Knoxville, Jeff W. He and his family lived down the street from us for many years and our two families were friends. Jeff’s Mother Dot and my mother reconnected, after being out of touch for some years. My parents left Knoxville in 1991, and moved back to Augusta, where I was born and lived the first 8 years of my life.

 

Dot sent us a package which we just got today, of some piano sheet music which she had borrowed sometime in the late 1970’s, and just forgot about. Going through the stack of music was a revelation. There were gems like Mairzy Doats, I Love You Truly [which Mother used to sing at weddings], and some music by a group from the 50’s called The Four Lads. There were several songs from Sammy Kaye – Swing and sway with Sammy Kaye. Maybe tomorrow I will attempt to play through some of them. Those old sheet music covers have photos of young Dinah Shore, Frankie Laine, etc. There is a small book of Stephen Foster songs that belonged to my grandmother and was published in 1940. It’s pristine.

 

Holding that old music, listening to my mother start singing each new song as I handed it to her, was like being in a time capsule. Mother used to sing professionally, in USO shows, weddings, etc. and some of it was her soloist music. That’s part of the magic of history for me, connecting to the past through antiques, stories, music. It’s on reason I love time travel novels. I want to believe in it.

 

Just for fun, I scanned in the cover of my copy of Scarborough Fair. [Ignore the yellow line on the right, it's from my crappy scanner]

Obviously they were capitalizing on the Simon & Garfunkel song, but they were aiming at a non-hippie audience, too. Note the liplock on those two. He was just kissing half of her mouth. What the...? Classic of kitschy?! What do you think?

 

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The kids and I saw a new movie this afternoon called The Ugly Truth, with Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl. If I have time, I will do a review on my movie site. It was very funny in places, and touching. It just wasn’t as well crafted as I would’ve liked. It lacked something indefinable that a great RomCom has..

 

However, on thing it has is Scottish actor Gerard Butler. He makes my heart flutter.. I just wish he would be clean shaven more often! I hate beard stubble! [It’s that sort of brilliant observation that makes my movie reviews must-reads, for dozens of people a month…]

I haven't published a Hunk Photo in a while, so here's Gerry. Isn't he hunkalicious?!!

Michael, Bigger and Bigger

I have been after Mother for a while to start blogging, and now she has begun. Check out A Marietta Gal's View. [Mother was born in a little town just north of here called Marietta.]

My mother has always been a huge influence on me. She let me read whatever I wanted to read, and I started reading voraciously at the age of 7. Through books, I have lived all over the world in every historical era. Mother never censored what I read. Of course, I was never around any books she felt like would be really harmful.

I told Mother, blogging is a great way to express one's self, and whether or not anyone reads, who cares? I blog for myself. She is 75, and she has earned the right to write whatever she wants. It's fun and therapeutic.

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Mike has been rather fussy today, but I attribute a lot of it to the fact he is truly growing like a weed. I measured and he has grown almost an inch in the past 6 weeks or so. All he wants to do lately is sleep and eat. I took him to Target to use his birthday gift card and he was so fussy we just came home.

Finally it occurred to me all he had for breakfast was a piece of bread and jam. I told him from now on, he has to eat some protein for breakfast, every day. His whole personality is brighter when he is not empty. His hunger mechanism is out of whack due to all the years he spent hungry.

Mike has changed so much over the years it stuns me, sometimes -

Look at this tiny little guy! This was made shortly after he came home in spring 07. I remember his entire foot could fit in my hand with room to spare.

This was made in Myrtle Beach, his first vacation with us.

This was his first day of school, August 07.

This was in Nov. 07, right after he got his prosthesis.

January 08.

Sometime in early 08 -

June 08

August 08
 

Nov. 08

May 09, vacation

A few weeks ago, June 09 - [his feet are now longer than mine!]

Leadfoot Thompson Hits the Road

You remember that long To Do list I mentioned a short while back? I was looking at it today and congratulating myself on all that I've accomplished, all the tasks marked off, and I realized that there's an entire second page with things I still need to do. They include such exciting items as making Michael write thank-you notes for his birthday gifts, and finding out why my car is making a funny noise every time I start it.

Oh joy.

I went to tuck Michael in bed tonight and there was a strange toothbrush and a big tube of Aqua Fresh sitting on the dresser. We don't use Aqua Fresh. One of the little boys over here Sunday night left it. Bruce has been in that room and I didn't realize the toothpaste was there. Michael is incredibly picky about toothpaste. Right now he's using a weird Colgate product with Shrek on the front, and the paste itself is a yellowish goo, supposedly "bubble fruit flavor." I will stick to Crest.

Michael was so tired last night after running all over Six Flags, that he fell asleep on the aerobed in my room in about 30 seconds flat. I had a hard time getting him up this morning. I finally shooed him and Alesia downstairs by telling them Uncle Bruce was leaving soon and they needed to move it. They were little zombies downstairs, at the horribly early hour of 9:30. Bruce said "I'm not leaving just yet. I need to run to Walmart and Home Depot. If you want to go with me, you have to eat something first." Instantly, Michael was reaching for the cold pizza and Alesia stuffed a pickled egg in her face. They were ready to go 5 minutes later. Mother and Bruce thought it was funny. I just thought it was typical.

I insist they eat something before they leave my house in the morning, to go to school or anywhere else. Otherwise Alesia get nauseated and Michael just turns catatonic.

Bruce got some more pavers at Walmart, so the awkward place on the side of the house now has mulch and pavers going up the gentle slope to the melon patch on the side of the house. It looks so much better. I celebrated by weeding for about 20 minutes. My melon patch has tons of blooms! I am so excited. If I could grow one edible melon I would be thrilled beyond belief.

We had an otherwise quiet and uneventful day. Oh wait, forgot...

Alesia had a therapy appointment and we started home about 4:45. She wanted to drive. I decided to go ahead and let her drive. She did fine, except for one right hand turn she overshot. There are new grey hairs on my head from that one. About 4 times I had to say "Alesia slow DOWN!" but otherwise, well, no wrecks yet. Every time she gets behind the wheel I say the Driving Prayer, "Lord, please don't let her wreck the car!"

I imagine she will be a Nascar driver in a few years. The Rushin' Russian Vixen will be her handle, I bet...

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUMORHUMORHUMORHUMORHUMOR>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

 

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.

 

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

 

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

 

Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French      and It's all organized by the Swiss.  Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss      and It's all organized by the Italians.

 

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

 

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 

Welcome to  Utah Set your watch back 20 years.

 

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

  

The statement below is true. The statement above is false.

 

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

 

I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.

 

KENTUCKY : Five million people, fifteen last names.

 

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

 

Dyslexics Have More Nuf..

 

In Memoriam With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, It is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, Which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.  The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.  They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

 

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food.

 

When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred".

 

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

 

I am having an out-of-money experience.

 

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.  Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280.  Please be careful!"  "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

 

Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.

 

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

 

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

 

I FOUND JESUS!  He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana  ,