We've had a quiet day, but a good day. Mother and Alesia and I [mostly Mother and I) finished addressing postcards going out to 70 or so folks who I thought might want to know about the book. I don't have everyone's email addresses.
Alesia and I went shopping for Michael's birthday presents. We found him a lot of things which I cannot describe because he is in the room as I type this. We found him a cool rug for his room, and an easy chair, which he has been asking for for a long time. We went ahead and gave him those, since they were hard to wrap. The rug is pale green shag. The chair came from Walmart and is a glorified folding chair, but he likes it.
Michael was picked up from camp this afternoon, after riding a bus from the mountains. He is like a little zombie boy. I think he didn't get enough sleep or food. He is brown, though, and said he had a wonderful time - horseback riding, whitewater rafting, tennis, water skiing! Adventure Amputee Camp is wonderful.
Sometimes I get emails from people asking me about what it's like to be a single adoptive mom. I usually just say "read the blog!" Here you get the day-in-day-out reality of it. I am not a true example of a single mom, though, to be honest. My mother lives with us, and she is very important to the kids' lives. It's like they have two parents, really.
When I was in the process of adopting Alesia I met a lady online who lives in Chicago, Angie. We became instant friends. She adopted a little baby from Russia. She was a dedicated career woman, until she realized something was missing from her life. She is still the driving force behind the Yahoo group for sinle moms. She posted the words below and I was so moved I wanted to put them here, because she writes from the heart and it's the real deal, the reality of being a single mom. She is addressing a fellow singleton who is in the adoption process, and scared.
"...how can you be a single parent?? One day at a time, one step at a time,
and at times one breath at a time... I remember coming home and
thinking, OK, now I'm home, now what do I do?? But, I figured it out
with each new day... somehow her and I bonded and we figured out each
new step together. I learned to adjust my life to being a mom, instead
of a career woman. I learned to adjust my social life to being a mom,
instead of a single woman.?? Life changed...in fact, my world was
turned upside down. But, then I learned to like upside down much
better than the old way. I have made new friends. I have kept some old
friends, but some I don't see any more. We're still friends, we talk
onthe phone, but life changed for me... and I wouldn't have it any
other way. I'd give up my life for my daughter...she is my world, and
the love I feel for her is so intense that I can feel tears at the
thought of not having her in my life. What if I didn't go through all
that I went through?? What if I hadn't changed to Russia??
What if... and the list goes on, but somehow the journey was all meant
to be... and I just did what I had control over and allowed God to do
the rest...? and WOW...what a ride!
All your fears are so real... I know, I had all of them too. I
over thought everything.. . and in the end, it was all a waste of
time, because it all unfolded and I had no controls... I had to allow
mysellf to let go of control and allow God to "drive the bus" to the
destination of being a mother. I was fortunate I had 5 sisters and a
mother who supported me and loved hearing all the details...they
allowed me to go crazy with fear and it was my mom who always brought
me back to reality and a firm ground to stand on. She always stood
strong in the vision of a little baby girl with me... and she was the
rock through all these crazy fears of a single woman!
The ride is getting faster and of course it gets scarey...but you
know what... if you hang onto your vision of seeing your child, you
will enjoy every bit of the scareyness and learn to enjoy the thrill of
being here! You are so lucky, Linda... you really are... now just
sit back and enjoy!!!!"
angie
In 2006, I went to Edisto Island with Alesia and we met Angie and her daughter, and two other moms and adopted kids. We had a great time during our week together. Here is a photo from then, of Alesia and Angie and her little girl, in Charleston:
Angie is now an adoption consultant for Adoption Ark. If you are thinking about adopting, I can put you in touch with her.
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Since only two people entered comments in the contest for the photo caption, I am sending both of them a book. Shoot me an email with your snail-mail addresses, y'all!
