You remember that long To Do list I mentioned a short while back? I was looking at it today and congratulating myself on all that I've accomplished, all the tasks marked off, and I realized that there's an entire second page with things I still need to do. They include such exciting items as making Michael write thank-you notes for his birthday gifts, and finding out why my car is making a funny noise every time I start it.
Oh joy.
I went to tuck Michael in bed tonight and there was a strange toothbrush and a big tube of Aqua Fresh sitting on the dresser. We don't use Aqua Fresh. One of the little boys over here Sunday night left it. Bruce has been in that room and I didn't realize the toothpaste was there. Michael is incredibly picky about toothpaste. Right now he's using a weird Colgate product with Shrek on the front, and the paste itself is a yellowish goo, supposedly "bubble fruit flavor." I will stick to Crest.
Michael was so tired last night after running all over Six Flags, that he fell asleep on the aerobed in my room in about 30 seconds flat. I had a hard time getting him up this morning. I finally shooed him and Alesia downstairs by telling them Uncle Bruce was leaving soon and they needed to move it. They were little zombies downstairs, at the horribly early hour of 9:30. Bruce said "I'm not leaving just yet. I need to run to Walmart and Home Depot. If you want to go with me, you have to eat something first." Instantly, Michael was reaching for the cold pizza and Alesia stuffed a pickled egg in her face. They were ready to go 5 minutes later. Mother and Bruce thought it was funny. I just thought it was typical.
I insist they eat something before they leave my house in the morning, to go to school or anywhere else. Otherwise Alesia get nauseated and Michael just turns catatonic.
Bruce got some more pavers at Walmart, so the awkward place on the side of the house now has mulch and pavers going up the gentle slope to the melon patch on the side of the house. It looks so much better. I celebrated by weeding for about 20 minutes. My melon patch has tons of blooms! I am so excited. If I could grow one edible melon I would be thrilled beyond belief.
We had an otherwise quiet and uneventful day. Oh wait, forgot...
Alesia had a therapy appointment and we started home about 4:45. She wanted to drive. I decided to go ahead and let her drive. She did fine, except for one right hand turn she overshot. There are new grey hairs on my head from that one. About 4 times I had to say "Alesia slow DOWN!" but otherwise, well, no wrecks yet. Every time she gets behind the wheel I say the Driving Prayer, "Lord, please don't let her wreck the car!"
I imagine she will be a Nascar driver in a few years. The Rushin' Russian Vixen will be her handle, I bet...
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUMORHUMORHUMORHUMORHUMOR>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. |
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FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church. |
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Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. |
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Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. |
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Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss and It's all organized by the Italians. |
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Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! |
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My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be. |
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Welcome to Utah Set your watch back 20 years. |
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In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday. |
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. |
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The statement below is true. The statement above is false. |
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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other. |
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I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect. |
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KENTUCKY
: Five million people, fifteen last names. |
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I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. |
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Dyslexics Have More Nuf.. |
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In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,
It is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person,
Which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey,"
died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was
getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.
And then the trouble started. |
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I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred". |
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Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. |
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Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. |
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I am having an out-of-money experience. |
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As a
senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman,
I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!" |
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Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things. |
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Corduroy pillows are making headlines! |
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I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. |
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I FOUND JESUS! He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana , |
