The Crab Chronicles

The Latest News

I was up before 8 this morning, getting ready and getting the kids ready. I had to leave at 9:30. The kids left with Bruce to go to Six Flags a few minutes later.

 

There’s a small local newspaper, a weekly, in nearby Dunwoody, and they agreed to do a short profile piece on me. Good PR for the book. I met the reporter at Panera Bread and we chatted for over an hour. He’s an older guy, retired. Here’s the weird thing. He looks a little like Robert Mitchum. Maybe a few years younger than my mother. He also had a Mickey Spillane sort of gruffness. [BTW, Mickey Spillane was a friend of my uncle’s and live in Myrtle Beach for years.]

 

I came home and the rest of the day was really quiet and uneventful. Bruce didn’t get back with the kids until around 5. The kids said they had a terrific time, rode all the big rides.

 

Bruce took Alesia and let her drive this afternoon, all the way down to the shopping center, in 5:00 traffic. They were gone about 30 minutes. I lost track of time or I would’ve worried. Alesia was bouncing around like a young colt when she got back. She was so cute. She said “I only made one mistake!” Bruce told me later she turned and just stopped, pondering what a beautiful job she did turning. He had to say “Alesia, you need to GO NO!” – but I am sure he was kind. After spending a year in Iraq, driving with Alesia is no big deal. I still get a wee bit more nervous, though…

 

I had the strangest thing happen late this afternoon. I keep the ringer off on my home phone because I just hate answering it. I give everyone my cell number. The landline is tied in with my DSL package though and I hate to give it up. So I check every day or so and see who called and get messages. Today I found a call from a Savannah area code. I don’t know anyone in Savannah. The number is the same as my birthday – month, day, year. Whoa. I think it’s a sign. Who knows….

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HUMORHUMORHUMORHUMORHUMORHUMOR<<<<<<<<<<<

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?
      
      USA Today: We're dead
      
      The Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones plummets as world ends
      
      National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, together again
      
      Playboy: Girls of the apocalypse
      
      Microsoft Systems Journal: Apple loses market share
      
      Victoria's Secret Catalog: Our final sale
      
      Sports Illustrated: Game over!
      
      Wired: The last new thing!
      
      Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead reunion tour
      
      Readers Digest: 'Bye!
      
      Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?
      
      TV Guide: Death and damnation: Nielson Ratings soar!
      
      Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs by judgement day with our new "Armageddon" Diet!
      
      America Online: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.
      
      Inc. Magazine: Ten ways you can profit from the apocalypse!

Summer Classes for Women

Mondays can be such a drag. I wish I had something to report, but it's been a very quiet day. I did some marketing on the book, worked on an article, took Alesia driving. My brother came in for a couple of days. Otherwise, no news. So here's a funny!

If I were ever going to become a teacher, here are some of the classes for women that I would love to teach, since I am not typical:

At 
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday,  July 9, 2009



Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat 
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours..  

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Class 4 
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM  

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.  

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield..
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself...
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Birthdays

It’s Michael’s 13^th birthday. Hard to believe my baby is 13! He is a typical 13 year old as far as I can tell. He has a mouth full of braces, many pimples, and mood fluctuations of a woman with PMS.

 

I let Alesia drive for about 30 minutes this morning, at the mall. There was far less giggling. She practiced parking, and making turns. I let her drive from the house to the mall and back, which I felt was OK since it was Sunday morning and the churchgoers were at church, and everyone else was mostly sleeping in. She did really well. The only big thing she’s not remembering is to turn her head and look back before switching lanes.

 

When we got back, Michael was still asleep and it was after 11. He refuses to eat when he first gets up, unless it’s a school day. He was grumpy and acted like a zombie. Mother pointed out that he hadn’t eaten anything in about 16 hours. He kept refusing to eat. Finally, I offered to take him to Waffle House and his mood brightened a bit.

 

Waffle House, a little after noon, was a madhouse. There were 10 folks behind the counter buzzing around, so to me, free entertainment. I love watching a well-run short-order restaurant. The kids and I sat at a counter since there were no tables. Michael ate a waffle and a large plate of hash browns. He then became human. Hallelujah.

 

One of the waitresses at the Waffle House heard me call him birthday boy, and asked him how old he was. “I’m thirteen,” he said quietly, grinning. “That’s what I woulda figured, honey,” she said, grinning. She had horrible teeth, like little kernels of seed corn with big gaps in between. One of the other waitresses gave him a smiley face Waffle House pen, which delighted him. So thank goodness for Waffle House. It ain’t health food but once in a while we indulge.

 

I told him when we got home if he wanted to go to Dave & Busters he had to clean up his room. I asked Alesia to help him, and she did most of the cleaning.

 

Mother thinks I should be more strict with Michael. I don’t agree. When I am really strict he reads that as harsh and he just emotionally shuts down. At first, this morning, he said he wouldn’t clean his room, and I said very calmly that he couldn’t have guests over for a sleepover if his room was dirty. He still refused. I knew if I could persuade him to eat he would be cooperative.

 

I have a theory that he goes for hours without eating sometimes because that hunger is a familiar feeling, and perversely comforting. We all crave the familiar. Even children who are abused want to return to their abusive parent rather than be put in an orphanage. Children of alcoholics often marry alcoholics because of the comfort of the familiar, no matter how negative. For Michael, eating means he’s alert, and then he has to do what’s asked of him. It’s much easier to refuse food and curl up in a ball on the bed with your face to the wall. I hate seeing that withdrawal, though.

 

We went to Game Stop, and then Dave & Busters. Mike bought a new game at Game Stop, and used part of his birthday money to help Alesia buy a new game. I was so glad we had eaten lunch before going to D&B’s, because their food is expensive. So I sat in the incredibly loud, Las Vegas style game room and read a book, and rank a Sprite, and let the kids play the machines. 

 

Alesia was bugging me all the way home about driving. I am going to have to tell her she’s only allowed to badger me once a day, at most. I hate nagging.

 

Mike’s friends came over around 5. They played outside for a while, and ate pizza for dinner. Now they are watching a movie. I am in my room while Alesia watches the movie Twilight. I am not watching it but I can’t help but hearing it. What incredibly lame dialogue. Jeesh. Why do the kids all like this Twilight junk?! It's like a really lame version of the Anne Rice books I used to like. 

This was made on Alesia's birthday. I love this photo. It's a great shot of both girls, and Coco, of course.

 

These are from Mike's birthday today. The one of him midair is not an accident. He had just done a flip, but I didn't catch him mid flip..

 

Saturday With Cousins

Do you ever have a day where everything seems to go pretty much OK, and you even find a lot of little patches of joy in the day? Well, everyone in my house had an excellent day.

 

It wasn’t too hot – highs in the low 80’s. Around here, that’s a cool day.

 

We headed up this morning to North Georgia for a family reunion lunch. (We got the chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A and they were devoured, BTW.) What I love most about heading up to Canton is that I feel like I am reconnecting with my grandfather, Bob Hasty. He was part Cherokee, and hailed from Cherokee County. There is a street named for our family, Hasty Trail. When I am driving along the beautiful country roads I have the feeling I might round a corner any moment and see a tall young man driving a farm horse and wagon. Despite the new houses popping up, time still stands still up there. It’s a gorgeous place.

 

I got a chance to visit with my second cousin Frank and his family, cousin Patricia and her husband, cousin Malinda, and so many more.

 

The kids were angels. Alesia looked adorable, as she went with curly hair and a cute sundress. The photos don’t do her justice, strangely enough.

 

Frank’s daughter paid a lot of kind attention to Alesia. At one point they went outside to chat. Alesia said Nic was very sweet, and easy to talk to. Alesia has a hard time talking to others, oftentimes, because I think she’s self-conscious.

 

Mother said when we got home that it meant a lot to her to go to the reunion, to reconnect with family. She has lost so many family members and dear friends in the last year or so.

 

There were funny moments.

 

At one point in the car, Mother sneezed. Hay fever. She sneezes volcanically. Everyone jumps. Alesia had taken off her seat belt to get something from the back. She was so startled when Mom sneezed, she said “Granny! I didn’t have my seatbelt on!”

 

We got back and the kids went swimming. Alesia drove to the pool, and did a super job backing out of the driveway. She is a quick study at driving.

 

I found more than half a dozen cucumbers today when I was watering the garden! It was such a thrill. Alesia ate an entire cucumber for dinner, very happily. Well, actually, she shared part of it with Mike, now I think of it.

 

Michael’s birthday is tomorrow but I let him open his presents tonight. Tomorrow is going to be somewhat busy. He got a scooter as his big present. I found a great deal on one on Ebay. He also got some clothes, movies, a game, books, etc. I gave him a bottle of men’s cologne, which I think pleased him.

 

Alesia has been in a buoyant mood all day. I think passing her first driving test, to get her learner’s permit, was a big step for her in maturity. Her mood has been wonderful. She even let Mike hug her this afternoon, and she hugged me spontaneously. I hope the mood lasts.

 

I gave out several copies of the book today. One of my cousins already emailed me to say just reading the introduction made her cry! That;s good, I think?!

Some photos from the day.

 

 

 

 

In The Arena

After yesterday’s aborted trip to the DMV for Alesia to get her learner’s permit, we tried again this morning. We were there a little after 8, and the line was much shorter. No stinky people, either, at least none close enough to smell.

 

No, today we got it done! I was worried they would give me a hard time about her Russian birth certificate or passport, and there was no issue at all. They just used the Certificate of Citizenship. I do need to get her an American passport, though.

 

Alesia was so excited that she passed the tests. When we got near home, in the neighborhood, I let her drive. She only veered onto a grassy area once. I kept my cool. She parked in the driveway. A little later when we were headed to Kroger she showed Mother proudly, “Look how neatly I parked!”

 

Every time she makes a mistake she giggles.

 

Mike’s friend came over again. I told the boys we would give them a ride to the swimming pool, Alesia driving. Michael looked at C and said “Be afraid. Be very afraid!” I thought it was funny. Then I had to take deep breaths and talk her through backing out of the driveway. It was a little jerky, and she veered onto the grass a little at one point. The giggling immediately followed.

 

When we got in the house Mother asked her how it went. “I did bad,” she giggled. “No you didn’t,” I shot back.

 

“Yes. I did bad.”

“Alesia, you didn’t knock down the mailbox. You didn’t hit shrubbery. I wasn’t screaming. So you did fine,” I assured her. She giggled.

 

Of course, after I got my permit, I knocked down the mailbox, drove through flowerbeds, hit other cars, almost hit the dog – I was a terrible driver when I started. Terrible. My father’s face used to go white and he would sweat profusely when in the car with me. He had a bad heart. I had a lead foot. The first time I ever drove he screamed “Carton of eggs!” over and over, until I finally slammed on the brakes and looked at him. “What does carton of eggs mean?”

 

“Press the pedals like there’s a carton of eggs under them that you don’t want broken, he said, trying to talk normally. He had whiplash the next day.

 

So far, Alesia has only slammed on the brakes once. Today. Tomorrow, who knows?

 

 

We went to Kroger around noon to do the weekly shopping, and I was standing at the front of the store, waiting on Mother and the kids to catch up [Mother drives the motorized cart], and I saw a tall blonde man and thought hmm, what a cutie. Then – wait – wow he looks familiar. And he’s wearing a West Virginia tee shirt. It’s Ben! Whoa! He came over and recognized me and gave me a big hug. We worked together years ago, my first job after moving to Atlanta. We both worked for a lady lawyer who was incredibly uptight and ran us ragged. He was the associate, I was her paralegal. He was back here visiting his brother, although he lives in West Virginia. The really ironic thing is that he has a daughter adopted from Colombia! Small world. It was great to see him.

 

 

My friend Bronwyn came for dinner. I made lasagna. We had a lovely visit. She is a teacher and a single mom, so stays very busy. It was great to see her.

 

I made a green bean salad to take to a family reunion tomorrow up in North Georgia. Bronwyn and Mother kept testing it and telling me what else to add to it. I don’t eat cold salads. I think it will be a big hit tomorrow, at least among the folks who like bean salads…

 

I am hoping we will have time to just stop and buy some chicken nuggets to take up there.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Two sites to check out if you need a chuckle -
There I Fixed it

The Fail Blog
The Fail Blog

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I LOVE this quote from Teddy Roosevelt. It pretty much sums up my life:

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

Hot Soup Day

Sometimes I have to eat my words. I like them lightly toasted, not steamed, but today they are steamed, because I am steamed.

 

The high today was 89. Now, by my personal criteria, anything less than 90 is “not hot.” However, running around in the car, in the heat, with both kids, it strikes me as HOT. To make matters worse, we stopped and ate lunch at Arbys, and the air conditioning in the restaurant was on the fritz, and it was like HELL HOT. I told the manager and he mumbled something I couldn't understand. I think my hearing is going, or maybe it was just the steam coming out of my ears.

 

For once, I was glad my kids eat fast. I guzzled down iced tea like I was an extra in Sahara.

 

Alesia was impressed by the fact there was an eclectic mix of folks in Arbys, including some young men in dress shirts and ties. “I’ve never been in a place with so many businessmen before,” she whispered, delightedly. “It’s like in the movies!” I was tempted to tell her only young businessmen eat lunch at Arbys, but I didn't want to argue.

 

We had just come from DSW Shoe Warehouse, where we had found Michael some nice Adidas sandals on sale for $24. I am hoping and praying they will not tear up. He is so hard on his shoes, plus he is growing so fast. He wears a men’s size 8. That’s tough to find. He kept going around trying on the display shoes, despite me saying repeatedly, “Mike, that’s a size 10. Look at the boxes and pull out a size 8, hon.”

 

The start of our day was a trip to the driver’s license testing place, where the line of people was 50 deep. I had told Alesia, let’s go early in the morning, but she wouldn’t listen to me. I had to drive all the way over there and prove to her that there were a slew of people. Many of them were smelly people, too. (What a pity people can’t be fined for having BO. We could make millions.)

 

Tomorrow, we are going to be at the driver’s license place by 8:00, or as close to it as possible. We are not going to sleep until 9 [cough cough].

 

For dinner, I decided to make soup. In our house, soup always begins in our “vintage” [from when I was a kid] Club Aluminum pot. I saw this same pot on Ebay for $54!

Elva’s Vegetable Beef Soup

 

Take a lb. of ground sirloin, and brown it. Add in ½ large onion, diced. Let it simmer for a few minutes. Throw in some salt and pepper. Add in the following and simmer for 1-3 hours:

 

1 jar Classico sauce of your choice [I used Fire-roasted tomato and garlic]

2 cups beef broth

1   8 oz. Can tomato puree

¼ cup red wine or sherry

1 can green beans

1 regular size can of diced potatoes

 

Serve with a Salad, or add more veggies to the soup, add some Fritos, and there’s dinner.

 

I had to give Michael a lecture about playing nicely and how to treat guests. One of his friends came over and spent the afternoon with us. Michael is still not remembering good manners about guests. I had to tell him a couple of times not to just wander off and leave his guest alone.

I also had to tell him no horseplay on the trampoline. I have safety rules for a reason – so nobody will get hurt. Grabbing the child's legs as they jump is NOT allowed. Alesia made them come in because I was on the phone. Mother could see them from her window. After the lecture, Mike didn’t seem phased by my little lecture. I finally just said if I ever see that behavior again I will sell the trampoline and that will be the end of it.

A Breakthrough

I forgot to write about something significant yesterday.

 

I had to get gas in Mother’s car, and Michael had just been awake from his nap a short time. I had gotten him to eat half a banana at home – I ate the other half. He wanted something else, though. So we get to Quick Trip, and I am thinking about his phobia about going into stores alone.

 

He doesn’t like to go in stores alone. I don’t know why. He said in Kazakhstan clerks in stores would sometimes be mean. Likely in his village he was known as the son of a woman who sometimes stole things from stores. I have explained to him numerous times that clerks in stores here won’t be mean to him. He didn’t believe me.

 

I turned to him after shutting off the car engine. “I need to put gas in the car. I want you to go in the store and get what you want for a snack, by yourself. I can go with you, but if that happens I’m not going to be in a good mood and I will make you hurry.”

 

He looked thoughtful. He hates to be hurried. “OK, I’ll go alone,” he said. I gave him some money and prayed nobody would say anything to him.

 

He came back with two sticks of beef jerky. Not what I would’ve chosen, but whatever. The fact he could go in there alone and buy something is a breakthrough!

 

He ate one and put the other one in his room. Alesia hoards food, too. I just ignore it. They are both healthy, and don’t have bad teeth, so I let it go. It’s a comfort thing for them. They spent so many years hungry, they need the reassurance of food close by.

 

I had to get tough with Michael this afternoon. I spend a lot of time at the computer, and he likes to come in and drape himself over me, and be cuddled. I am OK with that some of the time, but not all the time. If I am in my room he also wants to be in there. Today I had to fuss at him to get him to go entertain himself. I hated doing it, but I needed to concentrate.

 

Mike also wanted to play computer games on the kids’ computer, and I told him before he could do that he had to vacuum the family room, put out the recycling, and read for 30 minutes. He was not a happy camper, but he got it all done. Maybe he was irritated more than usual because I had to tell him that he needs to do 4 pages in his bridge book every weekday this summer in order to complete it. I also want him to read every day for 30 minutes. Summer is not as carefree as he’d like it to be. I am trying to instill in both kids an understanding of the fact we have work time and play time. You have to work to earn play time. I think it’s an important life lesson.

 

I have been telling him he cannot play sports unless he can get all his homework done in a reasonable time, and that needs to happen every day. Schoolwork comes first and must be done independently and correctly or no sports. He loves sports, so it’s his incentive.

 

Alesia has picked up a couple of jobs for the next few days feeding the neighbors’ cats while they are out of town. She is responsible and does it without being reminded. It’s another good way to build esteem and confidence in her.

 

We are going tomorrow to get a letter from her school saying she’s a full-time student, so she can get her learner’s permit.

 

I spent some time this afternoon applying for a job. I look every day but I don’t always find any worth pursuing. I am not worried. Something will work out.

 

I made Pioneer Woman’s Crash Hot Potatoes for dinner, along with barbequed ribs and a salad. The potatoes were awesome. The ribs turned out OK. Any meat I can throw in the slow cooker on low all day is a winner.

 

Michael ate a hearty dinner, and got up from the table saying cautiously “I’m full for now!”. I asked him if he had saved room for dessert. He got a twinkle in his eye and pointed to the side of his belly and said, “Give me a little while, and I’ll clear some room!”

 

Sure enough, after about 15 minutes of the movie he asked for dessert.

R&R Day

Alesia just came in and told me her makeup didn’t look good today and she won’t wear blush any more. I tried to tell her how to apply blush, but she doesn’t believe me. Oh, the irony.

 

I dressed up and put on makeup every day for years. I spent 20 years looking for Mr. Right, and like the boy scouts, I was always prepared. Now, if I was simply going to Kroger on a Saturday I usually didn’t wear makeup, but going to work, going out on a date, you better believe I was in full war paint.

 

I took an entire course in makeup when I was in college because my major was Drama. There are two kinds of makeup – stage makeup and what we called street makeup. Street makeup is more subtle, obviously, but the same principles apply. I made an A in makeup.

 

If I can ever lose some weight [I am trying] I will get back to wearing makeup, at least sometimes. Just putting on lipstick will make my mother happy.

 

Michael is coming around to himself, but he’s been tired and he’s been on R&R all day. Mother has been worried, but I told her, he just didn’t eat and sleep enough in camp. So today he did his laundry. That was the only productive thing. After we got back from running errands this morning, he played Nintendo for about 30 minutes, read a book for 30 minutes, and then took a nap for nearly two hours.

 

Michael is reading a book called The Mystery of the Silver Spider. Bruce and I read all the books in the series when we were kids. The mysteries aren’t all that tough to figure, but they’re fun. I told Michael that Bruce read all the books when he was young, and Michael chose to read it. I am so tickled. He has also gotten where he will read silently, on his own. Used to be he would only read aloud with one of us sitting right next to him. Now he knows enough English he can figure things out on his own.

 

I can tell Michael is growing. He starts slow in the morning [bread and jam] but picks up speed as the day progresses. For lunch at Waffle House he had a waffle, a huge plate of hash browns, and all my grits except one bite. He came home and slept. He got up and ate half a banana and a big stick of beef jerky. For dinner we had sautéed shrimp and scallops and he ate a plateful, plus yellow squash, a big helping of rice, and a salad. Later, as we watched Hancock, I ate an orange and he ate half. Then he wanted another orange.

 

Mother and I noticed that his voice has dropped some more since he got back from camp, too. It’s amazing. He is sounding less like ET now.

I reviewed Rachel Getting Married and The International on Scribblerchick's Movie Dish. Check it out.

 

Mother said something tonight at dinner that was nice. (Of course, scallops are her favorite meal, so she was in a good mood.) She said she was “content.” I am so glad of that. She doesn’t need to spend her final years all alone. We need her. She tolerates us. It’s a great arrangement.

Here he was last year:

 

 

This was made a few weeks after Mike came home, June 2007, at Alesia's baptism and confirmation.

 

As A Single Mom

We've had a quiet day, but a good day. Mother and Alesia and I [mostly Mother and I) finished addressing postcards going out to 70 or so folks who I thought might want to know about the book. I don't have everyone's email addresses.

Alesia and I went shopping for Michael's birthday presents. We found him a lot of things which I cannot describe because he is in the room as I type this. We found him a cool rug for his room, and an easy chair, which he has been asking for for a long time. We went ahead and gave him those, since they were hard to wrap. The rug is pale green shag. The chair came from Walmart and is a glorified folding chair, but he likes it.

Michael was picked up from camp this afternoon, after riding a bus from the mountains. He is like a little zombie boy. I think he didn't get enough sleep or food. He is brown, though, and said he had a wonderful time - horseback riding, whitewater rafting, tennis, water skiing! Adventure Amputee Camp is wonderful.

Sometimes I get emails from people asking me about what it's like to be a single adoptive mom. I usually just say "read the blog!" Here you get the day-in-day-out reality of it. I am not a true example of a single mom, though, to be honest. My mother lives with us, and she is very important to the kids' lives. It's like they have two parents, really.

When I was in the process of adopting Alesia I met a lady online who lives in Chicago, Angie. We became instant friends. She adopted a little baby from Russia. She was a dedicated career woman, until she realized something was missing from her life.  She is still the driving force behind the Yahoo group for sinle moms. She posted the words below and I was so moved I wanted to put them here, because she writes from the heart and it's the real deal, the reality of being a single mom. She is addressing a fellow singleton who is in the adoption process, and scared.

"...how can you be a single parent?? One day at a time, one step at a time, and at times one breath at a time... I remember coming home and thinking, OK, now I'm home, now what do I do?? But, I figured it out with each new day... somehow her and I bonded and we figured out each new step together. I learned to adjust my life to being a mom, instead of a career woman. I learned to adjust my social life to being a mom, instead of a single woman.?? Life changed...in fact, my world was turned upside down. But, then I learned to like upside down much better than the old way. I have made new friends. I have kept some old friends, but some I don't see any more. We're still friends, we talk onthe phone, but life changed for me... and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd give up my life for my daughter...she is my world, and the love I feel for her is so intense that I can feel tears at the thought of not having her in my life. What if I didn't go through all that I went through?? What if I hadn't changed to Russia?? What if... and the list goes on, but somehow the journey was all meant to be... and I just did what I had control over and allowed God to do the rest...? and WOW...what a ride!

  All your fears are so real... I know, I had all of them too. I over thought everything.. . and in the end, it was all a waste of time, because it all unfolded and I had no controls... I had to allow mysellf to let go of control and allow God to "drive the bus" to the destination of being a mother. I was fortunate I had 5 sisters and a mother who supported me and loved hearing all the details...they allowed me to go crazy with fear and it was my mom who always brought me back to reality and a firm ground to stand on. She always stood strong in the vision of a little baby girl with me... and she was the rock through all these crazy fears of a single woman!

  The ride is getting faster and of course it gets scarey...but you know what... if you hang onto your vision of seeing your child, you will enjoy every bit of the scareyness and learn to enjoy the thrill of being here! You are so lucky, Linda... you really are... now just sit back and enjoy!!!!"

 angie

In 2006, I went to Edisto Island with Alesia and we met Angie and her daughter, and two other moms and adopted kids. We had a great time during our week together. Here is a photo from then, of Alesia and Angie and her little girl, in Charleston:

Angie is now an adoption consultant for Adoption Ark. If you are thinking about adopting, I can put you in touch with her.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Since only two people entered comments in the contest for the photo caption, I am sending both of them a book. Shoot me an email with your snail-mail addresses, y'all!

Thirteen Years Ago

I'm in a reflective mood today. Anniversaries do that to me.

On July 11, 1996, my father, Tony Thompson, died. He was at home, in his den, surrounded by people who loved him. The cancer was just too advanced. It was his time to go. My brother, not one to ever discuss spirituality, said later he could feel the angels in the room.

Every July 11th since then, I have thought of Dad, but I don't get really weepy any more.

One week later, on July 19, 1996, on the other side of the world, my son was born.

When I was poring over photos of special needs kids in the fall of 2005, I asked God to show me my son. I had no idea which child was mine. The next thing I saw was a photo of Michael, and the birthdate was listed as July 1996. I looked at his little face and that date and thought, ah ha, there he is. He looked just like Bruce at that age, too, so that sealed the deal. I feel like Dad was guiding me to him. I feel Dad is with me very often.

This is a little photo essay about Dad.

Here's Dad in about 1952, a few years before he met Mom. He told me once that the first time he saw Elva Hasty he knew he was going to marry her - I'm sure the fact that she looked like Ingrid Bergman had nothing to do with the decision. She said she knew he was the one, too. (Thank goodness she didn't marry the other guy she was dating at the time, or I would be really short...)

Eventually, along came Bruce and me. Dad said once that after he finished paying off all the school loans for him and Mother, he only had a few years before he started paying for college for me and Bruce. We were fortunate, though - unlike Mom and Dad we didn't have to pay for all our college expenses by ourselves. Dad was there for us.

Although there were many ups and downs in their almost 40 years together, Mother and Dad were best friends. They genuinely liked and respected each other, and that's the basis for a good marriage.

Eventually, Bruce and I grew up. Dad and Mom got a lot of gray in their hair during those years. Coincidence? I think not.

Although I look sort of like the female version of Dad in the above photo, here's something interesting.
Bruce reminds me a lot of Dad. He has the same voice, for one thing.

Bruce also likes to do projects around the house, like Dad. The big difference is that Bruce does things much slower and more methodically, and with a lot less cursing...

I feel very fortunate that my kids have Uncle Bruce in their lives. They have an uncle who adores them, even though they don't have a grandpa.

I will miss Dad every day for the rest of my life. I am blessed to have Bruce as my brother though.