The Crab Chronicles

Newsflashes

I finally took the plunge and put internet access on my kids’ computer yesterday. They share a computer that stays in the family room, in clear view. Alesia is a junior in high school and Michael is in middle school, so they need internet access to do reports for school. I warned them if I see anything inappropriate on there, they will lose computer privileges for a month. We also loaded on anti-virus and Malware software, in hopes of preventing issues. 

 

Alesia is already mad at me because I gave her a lecture about safe internet use. I try to remember, she's a teenager. Being pissed off at mom is perfectly normal...

 

 

We are in a weird weather state. I went to bed with the air on, because it gets hot and stuffy upstairs, then early this morning I turned on the heat so we wouldn’t freeze getting out of the shower. Mother went to bed with heat on, then got up in the night and turned on the air.

 

Michael had to write a skit about an explorer, for social studies class. I explained to him what a skit IS, and how to write dialogue, etc. and to his credit, he did a pretty good job of it. I cleaned it up a little and typed it for him last night, but I was really proud of how well he did that exercise. I told him this morning I am proud of how well he is doing. Kids need to hear positive reinforcement as much as possible.

 

I looked at my melon patch yesterday and wanted to cry. All my melons were black, from the excessive rain. No melons for us to eat. Back to the compost heap for winter…

In order to learn exactly why my daughter makes hair and makeup choices, I have discovered OK magazine. Back issues are kept in the kitchen at work. I was flipping through it today while I ate my sandwich at lunch and had several “Aha!” moments. Now I know why Alesia went ape recently when my cousin sent a box of clothes and it included a plaid shirt. I’ve never seen her so excited over a piece of clothing. Now I know all the chic vampires wear plaid. I also learned that blue eye shadow is like, totally cool again! One of the makeup models had her hair in two Swiss Miss type braids, and Alesia has started braiding her hair a lot. Now it all makes sense.

 

I encourage her to wear braids and bright blue eye shadow and plaid shirts because I like any look that makes her less beautiful, if you get my drift. Then I don’t worry about keeping the shotgun by the door.

Fab Abs and Tomato Grabbing

Yesterday was such a beautiful day, I thanked God for it, after all the rain we've had.

We got our roof fixed today, at a cost of $125. Others have suffered so much more damage. I feel very fortunate. We dropped off a big donation at Goodwill the other day, in an effort to help the flood victims.

I try to think of how blessed I am, and remember those things when times are rocky. I lost my temper with Alesia a couple of times over the weekend and it was hard to reign myself in, but I tried. As Mother pointed out last night, even though Alesia is emotionally several years behind her peers, she is also basically a sweet girl. I don’t have that many problems with her. I certainly haven’t had her trying to run around and party and break all my rules. By the time I was 18, I had done a lot of stupid things typical of a teenager, and Alesia hasn’t done any.

 I look at both my kids, who are very healthy, do well in school, and are good about helping me around the house 90% of the time, and I thank God for them.

 I love them more than my life, but as I often counsel other parents, love is simply not enough, not with any child. You have to talk to them, all the time. You have to be very clear about your values.

 We talk about things. Even though it makes them uncomfortable, I talk to my kids about drugs, very specifically. We talk about what to do if somebody offers them a joint or a pill or some blow. We see movies with characters who are drug users and then talk about it afterwards. Sometimes we talk about alcohol abuse, but they know too much about that already. They have seen how alcohol wrecks lives. On some level they know if their birthmoms had not been alcoholics they would never have seen the inside of an orphanage.

 When I hear about kids who have done really stupid things, I wonder if parents have really talked to their kids. I think kids need to be told explicitly what not to do, and different possible scenarios need to be discussed. The idea that “just say No” could be effective is ridiculous.

 We also talk about being responsible with bodies, but probably not enough. Neither of my kids is dating yet, so I don’t go into that a lot, but I will. Alesia already knows my feelings, and I suspect that is exactly why she doesn’t date. I don’t think many of the boys she knows would meet my standards, because they are high.

 Alesia was telling me the other day about a boy she likes and she said “He is really nice and he has the best abs of anyone I have ever seen!” in a tone of voice like this made him someone to be revered. I just said “Well, boys who spend a lot of time bodybuilding and worrying about their appearance are usually jerks.” She really bristled at that. “He is NOT a jerk! He is REALLY nice!” I mainly just said that because I want her to think about the boy’s character, and not just be dazzled by muscles. She judges boys on a very superficial level right now.

 One reason I hate for my kids to watch TV is that so many of the messages just bombard them, on a subtle level, and they don’t have the judgment to reject the messages that are harmful or just idiotic.

Kids are told what to wear, what products are “cool” and how to behave, by television. Even the news is brought to them in 1 minute sound bytes, never explained in depth.

 I watched a lot of TV as a kid. However, we didn’t have cable TV until I was in college. There were 3 channels. I heard this  a lot from my mother: “Turn OFF the TV and get outside and PLAY!” I watched a lot of Gilligan’s Island, Beverly Hillbillies, Andy Griffith, the old Dick Van Dyke Show, and Captain Kangaroo. The only lasting impact was that I can sing all those theme songs (or whistle them) note perfect.

 I let my kids watch TV last night for a few minutes while I finished dinner. I left the room to go to the bathroom and when I returned, they were watching a horror movie. I told them to turn it  OFF, since I don’t allow horror movies in my house. They protested loudly. I said “Any movie showing a woman screaming in terror and being eaten by ZOMBIES IS A HORROR MOVIE, y’all.” Duh.

 

 

Funny moment at dinner tonight. Mike started to eat his sliced tomatoes with his hand, and he was talking at the same time, just absentmindedly picking up his tomato. Mother didn't want to interrupt him, but put his hand forcefully back down on the table. Alesia noticed that move and was so startled she burst out laughing and grits flew out of her mouth. Everyone broke up. Mother was laughing so hard she could barely gasp out "Michael! You know better than to eat with your hands!"

Carnival

Today was the opposite of yesterday, weather-wise. Beautiful clear blue skies and puffy white clouds. The temps were in the low 80’s.

 

We ate lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and ran an errand afterwards. It was so nice just to drive around. Fall has not set in yet.

 

I took the kids to a small carnival in the mall parking lot, along with Elena and Anya, Elena’s sister. There were only a few good rides, and the kids said some of them were still a bit wet from yesterday, but everyone had fun. I watched. After a while I got hot and went to the car to listen to NPR.

 

Otherwise, it’s been a non-eventful day. Here are a few photos from the carnival.

 

Here's Michael yesterday playing Nintendo. This is his favorite chair, right behind my computer.

Here's the group, in front of the ticket window.

See the group at about 4:00? That's them. The kids all agreed this big spinning disk was the most fun ride.

This thing just swung them around upside down a few times. Anya said she and Michael had to brace themselves from falling out. Lots of screaming. I thought they should've been playing the song "Ring of Fire" since that was the name of it, but whatever..

Here are Anya and Elena, with Alesia hiding behind the tickets... BTW, I have a strict policy no games of chance are played. the kids don't even ask.

I caught Alesia outside Sheridan's Frozen Custard. Michael was disgusted and wouldn't eat any. We had to run by the nearby Kroger to pick up a couple of things and...

Here he is, eating beef jerky like a REAL MAN.... [LOL]

Notice his cap?! Go Braves!!

We didn't have time to get his long hair cut, but that day is coming. Soon.

Y'all, PLEASE don't forget the Antares Raffle! Please contribute! I am nowhere near my goal...

Soup Day

We've had a very quiet, laid back day, but the rain returned.

All day, it was gray and overcast. Alesia and I hurried to the Kroger this morning trying to beat the rain.

Michael went to his tennis match but it was sprinkling when he left, so he spent all afternoon playing at his friend Colton's house.

Alesia and I saw the movie Surrogates, a sci-fi thriller. It was pouring rain and Mother was napping. I mainly just wanted to get out of the house. It wasn't too great. I like Minority Report a lot better, and it's a similar sort of film, preaching about the dangers of technology.

The highlight of my day was making a batch of Butternut Squash Soup. I am trying to perfect the recipe, because it's such a nice, hearty soup. This time I baked the butternut squash in the oven for nearly an hour in a pan full of water, and that softened it up nicely so it could be peeled. Then I chopped an entire onion and sauteed it in butter until soft, peeled and diced the squash, and added a lot of chicken broth to the mixture. Next time I think I will roast some garlic when I do the squash in the oven. I added some Havarti cheese to this batch, and served it with a dollop of sour cream. The kids really like it, which is great because it's so nourishing. I wouldn't even attempt making it without using my Braun hand blender, which is my favorite kitchen gadget.

Below, another shot of the kids in Helen, Georgia. You can see the look of the town, which is like a village in Bavaria. See how tall Mike is now, compared to Alesia?! It's amazing how much he has grown. 

Try Not to Set The House on Fire

Such a full day yesterday, that I actually fell into bed at 11. Didn’t even finish a full chapter of Harry Potter.

I went to lunch with the entire office (all 4 of us) yesterday at a terrific little barbeque place called Jim & Nick’s. They have these mini cheese muffins they put on the table that are sooooo sinfully delicious. It’s so nice to work in a tiny office, where lawyers and staff can just relax and visit together over lunch.

As soon as we got home, we headed to Sams. I was advised by my computer guy to get the Norton Systemworks anti-virus program, and Sams has the best price on it. I am going to install it today, if I can figure out how to dismantle the old one and install this one.

Sams is a wonderland to my kids. So many free samples beckon to them. In fact, when I told Michael about going there the other day his face lit up and he hollered “The sample place! Yessss!”

Of course, we found a lot of other things, too. We really should go more often, because we are careful to only buy things we use, and we save money.

 

I had Alesia put in the frozen pizza into the oven – I was too tired to really cook last night. I went down a little while later and thought it was very strange that there was smoke pouring out. Alesia had put it in there WITH the cardboard circle still underneath it! I tried hard not to blow my top. I showed her where it says on the box to remove the cardboard. Thank God I was in the kitchen, because she could’ve started a fire. Yikes.

 

 

Here's Alesia in Helen Georgia. I like this for two reasons. One, that's her un-strightened natural hair, which is beautiful. Two, it shows some of the architecture of Helen - it's meant to look like a German village, and it mostly accomplishes that.

 

RANT

I looked at Adoption Under One Roof article about children in Africa yesterday and got so mad at an article about children orphaned by AIDS in Africa. There are 15 MILLION of them! They are starving to death, many of them. What is Unicef doing? Very little. One thing they are definitely not doing is making it easier for the children to be adopted internationally. Ethiopia is thinking about closing all adoptions, for example. UNICEF has the official position that the children should stay in their birth country.

I always thought UNICEF was a great organization, but lately I have seen a lot of criticism of UNICEF from folks in the adoption world. This really disturbed me:

“Unfortunately UNICEF is anti-intercountry adoption and will watch children die before they will help promote legal and ethical adoption. To date they have done everything in their power to shut down adoption in third world countries without providing any new solutions. Allowing a few thousand children a year to be adopted from any of these countries would not rob any country of their upcoming generation as their chance of survival in that country at this time is miniscule. Through adoption many of these children will probably grow up with the desire to help their fellow countrypeople when they are adults.”

I left a comment and asked what I could do and someone suggested joining the JCICS - the Joint Council on International Adoption. I am going to do that. I wish I could do more.

Extreme PE Test

Alesia had a great day, and we all benefited. Every few months, she clips Coco and bathes her, and Mother pays her $25. Coco needed a bath. She was a tiny stinky girl. Nobody is allowed to cut her except Alesia, because she is the only person on the planet who will sit and carefully coax Coco into standing perfectly still so she can be clipped. If we take her to a salon they always slice Coco and she has to be stitched up, so we never take her. Coco now has kind of a raggedy haircut, but it's better than her having to go to the vet and get stitched.

I ran Alesia up to TJMax tonight while Michael had tennis and she found some darling pants, dark blue corduroy. She shopped on her own and used her own money. That's a great step for her. Of course, I was in the parking lot reading a book, but she was by herself. She is usually scared to be in stores alone like that, but now she's much better.

Michael informed me at breakfast he MIGHT have a test in PE today. "You don't know for sure?!" I fussed. Nope. he didn't know. He got another lecture about writing things in his agenda.After breakfast, I read the study sheet to him. I now know far more than I cared to know about extreme frisbee. Before this morning I had no idea it was a sport. Next I guess he will be playing extreme hola hoop, or extreme slinky. So after school I asked him how he did on the test. "Good," except I missed one. I bet he made at least a B. Smart kid.

Here is his saving grace. If he hears something and he's listening carefully, he will remember it. Alesia is the opposite - in one ear and out the other. If she sees it, though, she's fine. She is a visual learner.

Remember about 10 days ago the kids went camping with my friend Melissa and her family?? Here are a few shots.

 

Elderly

Another day without rain. You learn to appreciate dry air when you live through a horrific flood.

My son informed me yesterday that we needed to immediately get in the car and go to the store and buy marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers because he was CRAVING s’mores. Can you tell he lives in a house full of females?! If he were not such a boy’s boy it would worry me a tiny bit, but he’s all boy.

I have a question for you parents out there. When do kids develop tact?! When does that kick in? My daughter is a little behind her peers, emotionally, as I’ve mentioned, but she seems to be missing the tact gene entirely.

Alesia said the other day, when I asked her the age of one of our neighbors, “Oh, she’s elderly. She’s probably, I don’t know, in her 50’s!” Mother and I laughed. Not happy laughter, more like OMG! ACK!

Mother HATES the word “elderly.” She prefers simply “old.”

I think of myself as middle aged. I am 47. I guess, to be accurate, I should say I am “on the dark side of 40.”  

Next year will be 30 years since I graduated from high school. I feel really really elderly, just thinking about that. There are almost no photos of me from high school, because I thought I looked so awful. Now I look back at the few photos we have and think, I was so delusional. [Or should that read DEElusional?!]

When I was a junior in high school, in 1979 to be exact, I played Mrs. Paroo in The Music Man. My daughter Marion was played by a sweet girl named Jamie. I just got a friend request on Facebook and was delighted to catch up with her a little bit. She hasn’t changed at all, even after 4 kids! She looks like she just got out of high school! I look like a hag, OTOH. I expect my next play I will be cast as one of the witches in MacBeth. Yikes!

It’s fun seeing old friends from high school, but man, the years have been kinder to some of us than to others. I should have an advantage, sort of – after all, fat fills wrinkles!

 

BUT SERIOUSLY

I like the 2009 version of me better than any other version. Yes, I'm too fat. I have grey hair and wear glasses. I burp too loudly. I don't shave my legs often enough. I never go clubbing, or to concerts. My favorite things to do are read to my son, grow flowers and vegetables, and watch movies at home. And that is OK. I had my fun. Now I have a real life, a life that means something.

 

I like myself, I have lots of love and lots of laughter in my life, and life is GOOD. If you want that too, quit judging yourself, quit trying to be perfect or look perfect, and just live. Just love. Just pray and be at peace about your life. Forgive yourself and forgive everyone else who has wronged you, because that's what we're supposed to do. That's the only way to be happy. I wish I had figured that out years ago.

 

Here endeth the sermon.

Gone to Jail!

My internet was screwed up last night and I didn't get to post, so this morning it will be The World's Fastest Post Before Breakfast! I know you, my faithful readers, have to know my situation.

Here's the Good News:

The rain has moved away from us for a few days! YAY! Yesterday it turned sunny and hot [mid 80's] and we started drying out. That was a huge blessing, even though the kids said the back yard was a field of mud.

The Bad News:

We discovered a water stain in the ceiling of our family room. I am not even sure what type of repairman to call to fix it - a roofer?! Clearly our roof was not protecting us properly from the monsoons.

The Odd News:

I had to go to JAIL yesterday. Yes, as part of being a paralegal, one occasionally has to go to jail. I needed a criminal hearing transcript. I went to three different buildings to find the clerk who could help me, finally ending in the Gwinnett County Jail.

I am used to going through a metal detector to get into a courthouse. However, this one made me leave my purse in the car! I was only allowed to carry the wallet, cell phone, and keys. Then, when I found out from a surly female guard where I needed to go, she wouldn't let me go without surrendering my keys and cell phone. WTF?! I was nonplussed. I felt naked without my cell phone, and I don't use it to do anything but make calls! Then I had to fill out a form. I was told I would have to return in a week or so and pick up the report. Oh joy.

Years ago I had to go to the DeKalb County jail, and get a prisoner released. He was a client of ours. He had been arrested for possessing crack, which is what caused the auto accident which landed him as our client [through the insurance company]. His clothes had been stolen. I took him new clothes, right down to undies, shoes and socks. I then drove him to the downtown Salvation Army. He was a nice kid from a good family but they disowned him because of the drugs. I and my assistant had worked hard to send him books to read in jail, get him released, and get him to the Salvation Army. They helped him get a job and a place to live. He promptly turned his life around, got married, found God, and started working. Next thing we know, his wife is pregnant. He sends the attorney I worked for a message and said if the baby was a girl, he was going to name it after HER, the Attorney!!! She didn't do anything. Really ticked me off. But I digress.

That's all the news and bitter recollections of jail I can offer at this time. More later...

SPARE CHANGE?!

I know it's hard to think of making a huge contribution to a charity these days, but think about this. Do you have a jar with spare change in it on your dresser? I keep a glass on my dresser and I empty my spare change into it every night. I probably have $10 in there. I am going to take all that change in a bag to Kroger this weekend and put it in the machine that gives you money for change, and send the amount to the Antares Foundation. It's not helping me on my dresser, and Antares will use it to better the lifes of orphans. It doesn't matter if it's $100 or $2 - they can use any amount. Plus, if you send your spare change, you could win one of our terrific raffle prizes! What better use could there be for spare change?!

Here Comes the Sun!

Made it into work and the SUN is shining, Hallelujah!

I had to go to the bank and the post office this morning and the roads were deserted. I walked into the bank and I was the only person in there. Ditto for the post office. That was weird.

I talked to my cousin Lesleigh, who lives closer into town in an area called Buckhead. She said the flooding was so bad down there she couldn't leave the apartment and was home from work. When she was going home late yesterday afternoon her car conked out and she had to wait and wait for a tow truck and finally got home after almost 2 hours. Yikes. I am just glad she was safe.

Bruce called last night to make sure we were OK, and I told him Michael had been in a high good humor yesterday afternoon, despite having to walk partway home in the rain. Bruce laughed. "Dee, he's a BOY. At his age I would've been looking for a BOAT." That's true. Thank God Michael isn't as wild as his uncle used to be.

My kids are home from school. Alesia knocked on my door at 6:30 this morning and asked if she had to go to school. I said "No, didn't you see the note I put on the bathroom mirror?" No, she had not. I stupidly put it on the big mirror, not the makeup mirror. She heard about the school closings on the radio but didn't believe the radio! Mother and I explained that the radio is accurate about school closings.

Better get some work done. Just wanted everyone to know we are OK down here, although I pray for the families of folks who have died in this mess.

Flooded Atlanta

UPDATE: 11:21 p.m. - The DeKalb County schools are closed tomorrow so my kids get a day off. So be it. I would worry too much if they were at school. Tomorrow the chance of rain is only 60%! That's an improvement!

Here's more about the situation - 

UPDATE 6:11 p.m. Flood waters are receding and rain has stopped! YAY! PRAYER WORKS!!

Dee

4:30 p.m. Every once in a while life spins out of control. My town is under water. My backyard has a river running through it, and that ain't just a movie!

I am praying the water won't come in our house and praying we won't lose power. Y'all pray too, PLEASE!! Schools are closed all around us. People have died.

It took me almost an hour to get to Michael's school to pick him up, because the water was just torrential. Felt like a monsoon.

>> BREAKING GOOD NEWS! Alesia got a 99 on her Algebra II test!! YAY!! Happy news!!<<

When I finally got to the neighborhood Michael was halfway home, head down, trudging through the rain, which had slacked off by then. We had to turn around and take an alternate route home, because the creek was over its banks and my poor neighbors B&D, their house was sitting in a pond.

I couldn't get in my driveway, so I parked in front of the neighbor's house and Michael and I hiked through a foot of moving, muddy water.

I have tried to take photos but they didn't show up through the window.

PRAY this mess won't come in my house, please!!