The Crab Chronicles

Eating An Elephant

It was a rainy day AND a Monday, but I didn't let that get me down! Anyone remember that old song? Anyone? Bueller?!

I put my sheets in to wash at 7:45 this morning, and finally got them back on the bed, clean, at 11 tonight.

I used my lunch hour to get Alesia signed up for Taggart's driving school during the Christmas holidays. Yay! An early Christmas present from Uncle Bruce. He must've been alarmed at the grey hairs I've sprouted since undertaking teaching Alesia to drive.

On the way home from work, I get a call from Alesia. "Mom, can I eat some of the turnips for a snack?!" Thank you, Jesus. Another vegetable she likes. She really, really likes it! [Name the celebrity who said something similar...]

Michael informed me of a science test on Friday, then counted the number of pages he has to study and informed me he would never be able to study all that in time. Big pouty face. Bad attitude.

"How do you eat an elephant?" I asked him. He scowled.

"One bite at a time! C'mon Dude! I will help you. We will review one chapter tonight, one tomorrow, and one Wed., then we will review it all Thursday night."

"I can't DO IT!" he whined.

"Michael, look at me. I was an A student in school [not in science, but I didn't want to split hairs] and I know how to study for a test. If you pay attention and try hard, I will help you study and you will make an A on that test!"

He reluctantly perked up and we got some studying done.

My very kind neighbor sent me a coupon for the store where he works, and I was able to do some online shopping and got some great deals. I asked Alesia what she wanted Michael to give her, and she refused to name any item except a new bra. We browsed bras. Michael kept laughing at the models and saying "You need a pushup bra!" I didn't say much. She had put herself in the line of fire. So she picked out a bra, and when she left the room we picked out a cute night shirt for her. Michael chose a hoodie and she got it for him. They both chose Uncle Bruce a shirt that they thought was "cool." I can't tell here what they chose for Mother because she reads the blog, but it's a nice gift.

The kids still have to get me something, and I have to buy stocking stuffers, but otherwise I am DONE with Christmas shopping! Woo hoo! I will make some homemade baked goodies for a few friends and neighbors, but I consider that FUN.

I was quizzing Michael at dinner on some of his science terminology. "What do you call it when big rocks break down other rocks?" I asked him. The answer I was looking for was weathering. He thought about it. "Abortion?" he asked. I was aghast. "No, the word you mean to say is abrasion, not abortion. Totally different thing. That's the wrong word, anyway, it's weathering. Good lord!" 

Mother laughed. "Better explain that again!" she teased.

These are a dozen things I have learned the hard way, both good and bad.

1.    If you have an incontinent dog who is also sneaky, she will find the cleanest carpet in the house to poop on. [Coco did a liquid poop on Michael’s shag rug in his room and he screamed like he was being eviscerated when he saw it.]

2.    A 13 year old boy wants to play with something ALL THE TIME. Tossing rubber balls, rubber bands, paper airplanes, etc. will happen, and yelling does no good.

3.    When a teenaged girl has PMS, the only way to prevent child abuse is to send her to her room. I like to add the words “Don’t come out until you can control your mouth!” It means nothing to her but it makes me feel better.

4.    The day you start a diet will be the day somebody brings you something homemade (like chocolate chip cookies) and your resistance crumbles…

5.    Chick Filet’s buffalo sauce will open up your sinuses, big time. Have Kleenex handy before you start dipping those nuggets.

6.    No matter how early you start your Christmas shopping, you will get to Christmas eve day and suddenly realize you forgot someone or some gift, or stocking stuffers.

7.    Every Christmas, you end up wrapping presents on Christmas eve, no matter how efficient you are. [Our tree will have presents under there so long they are dusty, and presents wrapped in grocery bags and duct tape at midnight on Christmas Eve.]

8.    Signing your child up for driving school is a blissful experience.

9.    The day you get excited about eating a vegetable you’ve never eaten before is the day you know, for a fact, you are on the dark side of 40.

10.   Lecturing your kids about all the sneaky things they shouldn’t do only gives them ideas.

11.   Never look in your child’s bookbag or backpack. There are things in there you just don’t want to know about.

12. Shopping for myself is a drag. Shopping for my kids is fun.

Turnips and S'Mores

I have a new passion – turnips. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I have discovered that turnips are Da Bomb, though. They taste yummy and have lots of nutritional value.

My brother bought some turnips and fixed them for lunch yesterday, along with the sushi. He just boiled them until soft and added salt and butter. I tasted a bite. Tasted like a fibrous potato. Very tasty. Since I love all things squash-like, I am sure it’s no surprise that I decided I liked turnips. [I don’t like turnip greens, though. Ick.]

 

 

I remembered reading a recipe on Pioneer Woman’s site for Turnip Gratin some time back. I made it tonight. I didn’t use gruyere, though; too expensive. I used shaved parmesan, Asiago, and a mixture of Colby and chaddar. I cooked the turnips ahead, sliced them into a dish and layered the cream, garlic, and cheeses, and baked. It also called for chicken broth, and I put too much. Alesia liked it. Mike didn’t. Not all the turnips got cooked soft. I thought it had a nice flavor. Mother said it was good. There’s enough left to eat it again tomorrow, and I can bake it some more until hopefully all the turnips are soft. I am glad to find a new vegetable and a new recipe. I just have to work on cooking it. 

 

We’ve had a really quiet day. Our major activity was to go grocery shopping. We also got some laundry done.

 

After dinner, Mike made s’mores. I wouldn’t let him make them until Bruce was here to show him how to light the gas logs. He toasted marshmallows until they were black smoking chunks. Alesia and I couldn’t believe he ate those. He said just before bed he was feeling nauseated. I had no sympathy. None. Live and learn.

 

I did some Christmas shopping online this morning. I have pretty much finished what I am getting the kids. There won’t be a lot of gifts, but what I bought are things of lasting quality, I hope. I found Alesia some beautiful emerald earrings, deeply discounted of course. She loves all things green. Mike is getting his tennis racquet and a Nintendo game he wants. Mother and Bruce haven’t done their shopping yet and they are always generous, so I am not worried the kids won’t have a good Christmas. I am trying to keep things low-key, though.

 

We found several small gifts at Kroger to send to Miss Jean, Mother’s friend in Asheville who is almost 90. She has no family other than us, and we want her to have a happy Christmas. Her gift, and the gifts for my sponsored kids in Kazakhstan will be the most challenging. I like selecting them, though. I like knowing someone is going to have a happy Christmas instead of a sad one, because of my efforts. It reminds me of all the hard work my dad did for the Salvation Army for so many years. [That’s a very worthy organization, BTW, if you’re thinking of charitable giving…]

 

Back to the grind tomorrow…

Ready for Christmas

A really lovely day. Our house is now Christmas-ized inside and out! I am ready for the season. Our big tree is in the family room downstairs. Our little tree is on a bookcase upstairs, in the hall. Our manger scene and part of the angel collection, plus assorted gold reindeer in repose, are in the living room. The santa collection and stockings adorn the mantle. Outside, there is a garland draping the front entrance to the porch, and a wreath is hung. I love Christmas decorations.

 

 

I’d love to have Vegas style lights but we do not have outside power sources. Also, I fear if I put up lights like that my father would rise up out of the grave and smote the whole display. He thought outside lights were tacky. I don’t agree; often they are lovely. I just can’t bring myself to hire an electrician and go to those extremes. However, we have neighbors who have really impressive light displays. We love seeing them.

 

DN told Alesia that in a couple of weeks he would ride her around one night to look at Christmas lights. I thought that was a sweet thing to say.

 

She turned down a date tonight for a chance to make some babysitting money. Then, the little girl got sick and the babysitting job was canceled, but Alesia didn’t seem upset.

 

We worked around the house most of the day. Bruce brought sushi home from Kroger for the kids. He got my smoke alarms fixed up, and blew the debris off the roof. He let Mike blow the pine straw off the front patio. It’s good for Michael to learn how to do some of the outside work here.

 

 

We made another pecan pie. Michael LOVES pecan pie, and I made him read the recipe and do most of the work, under my supervision. I just picked out the pecans and broke them up. When Bruce was young he loved pecan pie so much he memorized the recipe.

 

  

Bruce and the kids had sushi for lunch.

 

Late this afternoon, we were sort of in the doldrums, with Bruce headed home and Mother napping. Bronwyn told me about an international farmer’s market not far from here, so I took the kids over there. The Buford Highway Farmer's Market is a FUN place to go, no matter where you are from. It’s enormous, very clean, and had a huge selection of foods, from everywhere. We stuck mostly to the Russian foods, but I want to go back and see all of it. I was hurrying to get Alesia back to babysit.

 

The lady who bagged our groceries was Russian. I introduced myself and told her my kids are Russian and she started chattering away to Alesia. I asked Alesia this later in the car: “I know my Russian is rusty, but was the first thing that lady said “Your mom is crazy to buy all this expensive food!” and Alesia giggled. “Yes! That’s exactly what she said!” I spent too much, but it was worth it, to see how happy and excited they were.

 

I also got challah, my favorite bread, a crusty loaf of ciabatta, German chocolate, some Turkish peach juice, and some English shortbread. I found some things for Bruce, for Christmas. He loves exotic foods.

 

It’s been the happiest day I’ve had in a long time.

Holiday Looking Back

It’s been a weird holiday, both enjoyable and a bit tense. The kids kept asking me to socialize with their friends. I said nope, the holiday is about hanging out with family, it’s family time. Bruce has seemed rather tense, too, but not for any reason I can identify. He is very private, unlike me.

 

I decided not to do the model photo shoot, for several reasons. One, it’s a big expense. Two, a friend of mine told me there’s very little work for models in Atlanta now. Three, I measured Alesia and it seems she’s not over 5’5 – she measured at 5’4 ½. Even though she has long legs and arms and doesn’t wear petites, it’s doubtful she’s going to get work at that height, from what I’ve heard and read. She didn’t seem to be upset when I told her. The photographer was nice about it.

 

We spent most of the day yesterday just relaxing. We did go to the movies yesterday afternoon – Ninja Assasin. Really bloody. Cartoonish violence. The lead actor is a young man named “Rain” who is amazing. I like movies like Crouching Tiger, but this was hard to watch, for a number of reasons. I found it really hard to watch scenes of orphans being mistreated.

 

We had a quiet dinner last night, but it was good. We had turkey, dressing, squash casserole, eggplant parmigiana, and cranberry sauce. Bruce fixed the eggplant, which he likes.

 

Today, it was all about decorating. We got the tree up and the inside of the house decorated. Tomorrow, Bruce has promised to help us with the outside decorations.  Mike had fun decorating the tree. He and Alesia put it up with no help or supervision.

 

Y’all remember this post about dealing with limb differences from a short while back? The author, Jim DeWees, was on his way to Disneyworld and stopped here and we had lunch at Fuddruckers. He’s a super nice guy, very interesting. His son is adorable. It’s always fun to meet another adoptive parent I’ve met online, in this case a Yahoo group for adoptive parents of limb-difference kids.

 

Lesleigh came over for dinner tonight, although I could not deal with leftover turkey. I’m not crazy about turkey anyway. We had country-fried steak, bisquits, the rest of the squash casserole, and some avocados, which everyone likes except me. Lesleigh looked good, although her hair looks quite peculiar.

 

Back to real life tomorrow…

Montage Experiment

I found this cool site, One True Media, and it lets you download photos and videos and make montages. I am so intrigued with this I have not even started dinner! Here's my whole life. Wow. 

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Thanksgiving 2009!

Too tired last night to write. Worked half a day, then came home and started cooking yesterday. Made both the pies – pumpkin and pecan. Despite not having any condensed milk for the pumpkin pie, and forgetting to start the timer on the pecan pie, they came out just fine.

 

Bruce came in from Columbia and we had a good visit. He brought presents for the kids, as always. He found Alesia several really cute shirts at a sportswear place that has great sales. I don’t dare buy her shirts because she won’t wear them, but she will wear any shirt Uncle Bruce gives her. He found Mike some shirts, too, and a couple of knives to add to his collection. Mike knows better than to try anything dangerous with the knives or to take them to school, which is why I allow them.

 

Bruce grilled steaks in the dark, which is something I don’t like to do. They were awesome. He got them at Sam’s. He marinated them in Coca Cola and some seasonings before grilling them. I made corn pudding and Souffer’s spinach soufflé. The corn pudding came out well. My brother is a good cook and it’s fun co-preparing meals with him.

 

Today the plan is to relax, visit, and eat. We will do the “big meal” tonight. I got Krispy Kreme doughnuts for breakfast and we will have quiche for lunch. The turkey and dressing are thawing in the fridge, having been cooked weeks ago.

 

 

Here's a little Thanksgiving poem, based on a semi-true story about a Thanksgiving we spent on Edisto Island, the last one when my dad was alive:

 

Falling Island
By Dee Thompson

To avoid the summer crowds, we
vacation Thanksgiving week at the beach.
Roaring waves throw down a carpet of shells
on the darkening sand, and
threaten
the house on stilts.
Hurricane's coming.
I picture the dead turkey flying again.

***********************************************************************************************************************

 

Days like this make me think of family. The photo below is me with my beloved grandfather, and other family members who have passed away. They are with us in spirit. Below is Michael and my uncle Bobby, and me and Papaw. See the resemblance between him and his dad?!

 

  HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!! 

Growing Like a Weed

I am very grateful to everyone who responded to my request for book ideas. I already ordered one of the suggested ones from Amazon and Michael will get it for Christmas.

Michael had an orthodontist appointment today, and got a bracket put on a tooth that is not completely in yet. He is in some pain tonight. I gave him Motrin and I hope he can sleep. The new teeth have dropped in remarkably fast since Mike got the braces back in April. The orthodontist, Dr. C, remarked upon it and I replied "I cannot take credit for it. I just give him vitamins and tell him to brush his teeth!"

Michael grew another 1/4 of an inch just recently. He is now 5'1 1/4. I imagine he will be as tall as me [5'4] in the next 6 months or so.

I had to go to downtown Atlanta today and file a complaint in United States district court. When I was going in, they confiscated my cell phone, because it has a little camera in it! I told the guard, laughing, I have NO IDEA how to use the camera. I just got the phone. I have not had time to sit down and read the instructions on it.

Another adoptive mom who is a buddy of mine is advocating for a precious little 6 year old boy in Eastern Europe who is about to be sent to an orphanage for older kids, where he may not survive due to some rough older kids there. [I know all about this; Alesia's orphanage was where she suffered a lot of abuse.] The boy has very minor physical issues, but they are likely to go away once he comes home and gets proper care. He is very sweet, and the agency is trying hard to get him referred before December 20 so he isn't sent off to the older kids orphanage. The agency has cut their fees drastically! If you have any thoughts you might can adopt this child, email me privately. i can't reveal much here.

If you are traveling tomorrow for the holiday, be SAFE.

 

PRAYER REQUESTS

My friend Cindy L made me aware on her blog of a specific prayer need, that her family can get visas from Kazakhstan so they can travel soon to get their little girls home. If you pray, PLEASE send prayers her way!! 

 

Also, please pray for my friend Cindy B's grandson, who suffered a seizure yesterday. They don't know what's wrong yet.

Books for Michael

It was a pretty dull day. I worked all day long. I am out of the habit. The day seemed to drag on endlessly. I am trying to get all my hours in before taking off for Thursday and Friday.

I sent out this email to some friends who have kids Mike's age, and I thought I'd share it with y'all, in hopes of getting some ideas:

Michael and I read together every night before bed. One of my cousins gave him the first two Harry Potter books last summer and we got totally caught up in them, and we are fixing to start the FINAL Harry Potter book! I must confess, I read ahead and finished the whole thing this weekend mostly hiding in the bathroom reading and staying up late at night because I couldn't stand the suspense!! If you have suggestions for another book series for a 6th-7th grade reading level, preferably with a boy protagonist - please let me know. Even if you can just think of one book he might like, that would be great. I read all the books aloud but he follows along the page with me. He learns how to pronounce English words that way, and his reading and spelling skills have really improved in the last few months. As his vocabulary grows I will transition him over to reading on his own. 

 

Goals and Goats

If my life were a song it would be called “On the Road Again,” or perhaps, “More Than a Feeling” or, more poetically, that timeless classic, “Boogie Oogie Oogie.” If you can hear those songs in your head as you read the titles, you are either over 40 or very weird…

The weekend was all about pursuing goals. Yesterday, I got up early and drove Alesia to her final SAT prep class. On the way I had to stop and get her some coffee at McDonald’s so she would be coherent, and then we passed hundreds of people running down the street – some charity “fun run” which I think is a total misnomer. Runners never look relaxed and happy, they look like they are being pursued by attack dogs. Then we got into the school parking lot and the band or some organization was handing out vast quantities of citrus fruits, and highly annoyed that we were there for an academic reason which had nothing to do with fruit. I dropped Alesia as close to the door as possible, then gunned and took off, escaping the Fun Runners and Fruit People as quickly as possible.

The second goal was Kroger. Mother and I sat like generals planning food for the next week, including Thanksgiving dinner. The irony is, we will only be feeding two extra people on Thanksgiving day, Bruce and Lesleigh. Since we made the turkey and dressing a couple of weeks ago and put them in the freezer, I am not stressed. We are free to clean up and make pies, always my favorite part of Thanksgiving – the pies, not the cleaning. Kroger is inundated with Christmas stuff, which ticks me OFF. Out with Halloween, in with Christmas. Skipped Thanksgiving altogether. I saw one little toy turkey, that was IT. Ridiculous. Christmas trees are everywhere already.

It was 60 degrees yesterday. Hard to think Christmas when you’re wondering if you need to wear sunscreen while you rake leaves. I don’t expect people anywhere else in the country to understand this. This is HOT-Lanta, where you turn on the heat at night and the air conditioner in the afternoon. If you’re in my house you don’t open the windows, not ever. Why? Mother has allergies and asthma. I have sinus issues. Fresh air means pollen and pollen is the bane of our existence. Michael has been very sniffy of late, too. I dream of the day when they invent an antidote to pollen, and I can get a nice screened-in porch.

Today, goal #2 was accomplished, the scrubbing of the kitchen floor. A few years ago, before Michael came home, we had 4 rolling chairs at the kitchen table. The floor is rough-textured tile. The wheels kept breaking off the chairs. They were cheap chairs. Finally, we got rid of most of the chairs. Now we have mismatched but totally functional chairs, including a very nice rolling chair for Mother that a kind neighbor gave to us. So we don’t need the carpet. The carpet was getting really dirty and was difficult to clean. So I got the kids to help me this morning and we got the icky carpet off the tile, and scrubbed the tile. The tile is tricky. It doesn’t show dirt. It gets very dirty, however.

We had lunch at Twains, a favorite Decatur haunt now. The weather was cold and rainy, so it was nice to be inside. All our sandwiches were terrific. Michael stuffed himself with nachos. Michael and I had two tacos – the menu said “the taco of the day.” Now, I know “the soup of the day” – a/k/a the soup du jour, but I was unaware of variations on tacos. Our tacos were soft, and were stuffed with chicken, chipotle sauce, fried onions, and blue cheese crumbles. Sounds weird but they were great. I also enjoyed black beans. After we ate, the kids went off the throw darts, and Mother and I could talk. The food is better than Fuddruckers and darts are cheaper than the videogames, so it’s a winner in my book.

 

 
I love this poster, because the profiles spoof much more "serious" posters and it also looks very 1950's.

We came home and got Mother settled in, then the kids and I went to see the new George Clooney movie, Men Who Stare At Goats. I put that imdb link almost reluctantly, because the idiot who reviewed it on imdb clearly didn’t understand the movie at all. It was about the army training special “psychic jedi,” and the whole premise is farcical. It spoofed the army and the new agey stuff equally. I thought it was going to be very anti-military, but was glad to see it was pretty even-handed. It was funny. I confess, I really just wanted to see Ewan MacGregor. What a hunk. Clooney has never interested me – reminds me too much of my brother – major ick factor there. Ewan, though, what a hottie.

Below, see Ewan and George together. George looks ancient, and seems to have dentures. Even Jeff Bridges, who is much older than Clooney, is a lot sexier, in my book.

 

 

A while back I wrote a funny little poem for a website run by a friend of mine, Vox Poetica. If you want a giggle, check it out here.

Random Thoughts for the Day

I got this in an email and thought it was pretty funny, and true...

1. I think  part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history  if you die.

 

2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

3. I totally  take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

4. There is  great need for a sarcasm font.

 

5. How the hell  are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

6. Was learning  cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest  really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get  out of my neighborhood.

 

8. Obituaries  would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

9. I can't  remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

10. Bad  decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never  know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that  you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

12. Can we all  just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to  restart my collection...again.

 

13.. I'm always  slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any  changes - to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes  to.

 

14. "Do not  machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this thing I have-- ever.

 

15. I hate when  I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I  immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do  after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

 

16. I hate  leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of  importance the entire day. What a waste.

 

17. I keep some  people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 

18. My 4-year  old grandson asked me in the  car the other day "What would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How  do I  respond to that?

 

19. I think the  freezer deserves a light as well.

 

20. I disagree  with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more  kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelry