The Crab Chronicles

A Better Day

Today was a relatively peaceful day, but of course after yesterday there was nowhere to go but UP.

Alesia's potential new boyfriend pulled another fast one last night, first saying he was taking her out, then canceling at the last minute. I am appalled at that behavior. He may just be immature. It was hard to see her trerated like that. She woke up with a migraine. Poor baby.

After a trip to Publix for groceries, the kids and I tried a new restaurant at our nearby mall, called Seasons. The food was OK, not as good as the former restaurant in that space, but fine enough. Alesia asked me the name of the restaurant as we drove up and I said "Look at the sign - it's called Now Open." She said "Really? Funny name?"

She's such a blonde sometimes...

My big "project" today was planting some cucumber and tomato seeds in starter pots. I am trying to not go out and buy plants to put in the garden this year. The pots are in a sunny location and if all goes well I should have 4 tomato plants and 4 cukes in a few weeks. That makes me quite happy just to ponder.

I saw a story on PBS about a really lovely spot to camp or stay in the North Georgia Mountains, called Enota Lodge. They grow all the lodge food organically and it's a working farm and retreat. I definitely want to go up there sometime... 

Alesia has decided she is suddenly hungry, so I need to go finish putting dinner on...

Pity Party of One

I just wanted to let all of you know I am still alive, and still blogging. Mother said I should post this. She's making me.

About 5 minutes after I hit POST on today's post, I had a little Pity Party. I didn't invite anyone. It was me and a box of kleenex. I cried for, I dunno, an hour maybe?! I rarely cry, unless we're watching a movie that's sad.

I think the kids were alarmed. Michael had wanted me to come help him clean his room and I basically said Nope, I don't feel like being a mommy right now. I need to be alone.

I never say things like that. Never. I spent 20+ years living alone and I LIKE being a mommy, but not today. Today I needed my pity party.

When I went in to help him, after I had calmed down, he offered me all the Christmas candy he'd been hoarding. I thanked him for his kind gesture, but didn't eat it.

I was so lethargic after all the weeping and wailing that tonight's dinner was.... Progresso Clam Chowder, New England Style. Hey, it was either that or grilled cheese sandwiches. Sometimes I am not up for being Julia Child.

Alesia's date from last night asked her out again for tonight, then canceled again at the last minute. She was not in a happy mood all evening. We got into it again at the dinner table.

I have to get a grip.

Mother and I talked tonight and decided maybe I should get back on the Maca Root. I wasn't having these hormonal mood swings when I was taking it. It's a bit pricey, is why I stopped. It worked, though. Tomorrow we're off to the health food store...

I'm too embarrassed about this to post it to Facebook or Twitter, so sue me... 

A Yucko Day

After several days of fairly peaceful existence, today has been a real crapfest.

Alesia has gotten on my nerves really bad today. She is so touchy, so much of the time, that it’s exhausting to me to just be around her. Her date last night didn’t happen because the boy was grounded for some reason. First he canceled, then he said we can go, then he canceled, then he said no we can go. He kept this up for about two hours. Finally, it was off for good. He texted or messaged her and asked if he could see her some other time this weekend and she said she was busy all weekend.

Thanks a lot, kid, for making her even more grouchy than usual. Thanks a whole lot.

Today we have been bickering all.day.long. She wanted to go to Best Buy and replace the phone she has, which she broke. I let her drive to Best Buy, and she bought a ridiculously expensive phone, with her money, and then didn’t buy minutes for it.

I told her I’d buy her some minutes if she’d help me clean out the garage and the linen closet in the next few days. She grudgingly said she could do that.

Michael and I have had conflicts all day about his hair, and the fact that none of his friends are available to play tennis, and the fact he doesn’t want to clean his room or do his laundry.

Even Mother and I had a tiff at lunch, which rarely happens.

I had just told her in the car that I don’t see how we will be able to afford a vacation this year, with me not working.

We were on our way to lunch at Mother’s favorite Mexican place, Eduardo’s. We had a double table. Alesia sat as far away from the rest of us as possible, then stared at the TV throughout the meal. If I said anything to her, she snapped at me.

I finally sat at lunch and just said nothing. Michael asked me why I kept staring into space and acting weird, and I said because I am so tired of fighting. Then I had the thought that if I were a better mother I could accomplish everything without fighting. Clearly I am screwing up the whole deal.

Alesia is 18 physically and about 14-15 mentally and emotionally. At the rate she is going, it will be 3-5 more years before we can talk without her getting mad at me every ten seconds. That’s a depressing thought.

She won’t accept my authority. Every time I try to tell her anything, large or small, she tells me I am wrong. She thinks she knows everything. I know all kids go through this, but it just wears me out.

She also spends a lot of time in her room with the door closed. Another typical teenaged thing, but it irritates me.

The kids were watching the Olympics while we ate our late lunch. (We ate very late. I had made a big breakfast, French toast.) So Alesia said at lunch, she wanted to go skiing. Michael keeps telling me he wants to go snowboarding. I told them any winter sports will be very expensive, as there are no ski resorts anywhere near here, and even if there were, I can’t afford that sort of equipment and lessons. I don’t think they realize that constantly telling me they want to do these things causes me to be depressed, because I simply have no money to do all the things I would like to do with them.

OTOH, should I feel guilty about it? When I was a kid we never went to Disneyworld. We didn’t get new cars. We didn’t go on expensive vacations. Getting my dad to even agree to buy us decent clothes was a major fight for Mother. He was a banker and very tight with a dollar, and there was no point in trying to wheedle anything out of him. I didn’t feel particularly deprived, mind you. I didn’t constantly tell him I wanted to do things I knew he couldn’t afford, though, either.

I remember one time, however, when I was in high school, and I wanted to go on a trip to France, a school sponsored trip with my French teacher which sounded fabulous. I was 16. I begged Dad to give me the money, or let me get a job and earn the money. He finally sat down and showed me, with a pen and paper, that I couldn’t earn enough money to go on the trip, and he simply didn’t have the money to give me. I remember realizing that I had put him in a very awkward position, of having to say he simply couldn’t provide something that I was so set on getting to do. I could see it upset him, and I regretted it. I think that was when I had my first glimpse of how hard it is to be an adult and try to provide for a family.

Today, I am feeling very much like a single mom. I need a break.

Hunkered Down, Ranting & Raving

It has been so cold here the last couple of days, I have spent a lot of time hunkered down in my room, writing. I spent most of yesterday writing a short film. I hope my friend Jeff can maybe make the film and generate some more work for us both. I love writing films, I’m just not great at feature-length stories. I’m also continuing to work on my comic romance book. If you have nothing better to do and would like to read the book draft and give me feedback, shoot me an email [thompsondee@bellsouth.net]. It’s about 25 pages and I can send it in a Word document.

Alesia has a date with a boy tonight. She has been in a better mood than I’ve seen in weeks, since he asked her out. She actually ate some ice cream last night, which is wonderful. She had lost too much weight recently with the flu and the migraines. I never thought I would have a child who would be too thin – always thought any child of mine would have the opposite problem.

Michael made a happy find the other day – two pairs of jeans I had put in the top of his closet when I got them a couple of years ago. They are hand-me-downs but he doesn't care. Clean and wearable are my only criteria for clothes. They were way too big then, but they almost fit now. They are both about 28/30. If he can just grow a couple more inches the 30 inch leg will be the right length. Right now they puddle a bit on his foot, but of course he likes that.

MINI RAVE   Every child should ride a bicycle. That’s why I love this story - be sure and watch the video, as it really brings the story to life. The parents of this child are on my Yahoo group for adoptive parents of children with limb differences. I hope and pray these students can help this little girl.

MINI RANT   I heard on the news this morning that the divorce hearing for the governor of South Carolina is being televised. Read here if you want to know more. Hope you have a strong stomach.  I don’t know who on earth wanted cameras in that courtroom, but it strikes me as just awful. Haven’t the four children been through enough? Don’t these people understand the need for privacy in a situation like this? I am stunned that the judge would allow it to be televised. It’s the judge’s courtroom and he or she is the final authority there. I don’t approve of Sanford’s adultery, not at all, but the wife rushed a tell-all book into print and I saw her on TV recently while I was trying to eat breakfast. She’s now contributing to the stress on her kids. Shame on them both.

This seems to be the day for South Carolina news. I don’t know why. I saw this ad on Craigslist [Atlanta's version, which is weird] and I thought wow, I WISH I could do this:

Two guys to travel across South Carolina in a decked out RV, promoting a famous restaurant chain. You will be traveling in the RV with a partner, bringing a traveling promotional event to every outlet in South Carolina. You will also appear in TV spots and web films in support of the events.

We are looking for people with:
-great personality, friendly, welcoming, funny, a little self deprecating. Your Everyman.
-excellent improv skills and acting skills.
-any extra talent - singing / playing musical instrument, juggling, (insert others), anything fun or different you can show
-Southern cultural background a big plus.
-Comedy duos welcome and encouraged to apply
-10 weeks ending May 22
-non-union

[If you know anyone who wants to do this, South Carolina is lovely this time of year, and you probably get to visit fun spots like Charleston and Myrtle Beach...]

Food, Chapter 2

This post should probably be entitled Random Food Stuff in My Brain...

I tell you a show I would watch, if it existed - something entitled “Food Network Bloopers!” You know they have the film. Julia Child was on live and used to just scoop things off the counter and pop them back in the pot, and that was part of what made her so fun; she was real and screwed up occasionally, like the rest of us.

If you have any interest whatsoever in food, you need to see Julie and Julia. It's out on DVD now, so see it.

Here’s a favorite food screwup story. When I was 6, my mother made a homemade chocolate layer cake for my birthday [which is July 4^th] and it was so hot [like, 100 degrees in Augusta that time of year] that when we came home from eating our gala birthday dinner out [at my favorite place, the S&S Cafeteria] the cake had slid all over our kitchen table. Fortunately, my father had long arms. He washed his arms and he and Mom put the cake back together, using toothpicks. The next day, Mom had a luncheon for some of my little friends. She had bought a bakery cake for me, and we kept the disaster cake in the kitchen. Mom told the story laughing, and all the parents opted for a piece of the disaster cake instead of the bakery cake. I still dream about her homemade chocolate layer cake. The icing was like fudge...

I grew up watching my mother burn the toast made in the oven, every single time. Finally we got a toaster oven and flaming bread disasters were no more. Now she never burns anything. I do, though, sometimes – it’s genetic!

I made a chocolate cake when I was about 13 and I totally screwed it up. It looked like a chocolate swamp. I cried and cried. My sweet brother got a fork, sat down, and ate the entire cake.

In case you’re wondering, this is my favorite show. I just wish that guy, Guy, would fix his hair – of course his last name is “Fieri” – the Italian word for “fire” so it looks like his hair was dipped in bleach and he’s going for a white flames look….

Whenever we watch Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, Michael always says "I want THAT job!"

Michael likes Iron Chef America. I think it’s a bit silly, but we end up watching it sometimes when we don’t have a movie to watch or there’s no time. We also like watching Emeril, although I get so intrigued with his accent I can’t pay attention to what he’s cooking. I also worry that he should wear a hairnet, because he’s so hairy and when he’s cooking, well, eeeuw….

I recently read a funny book by Mary Kay Andrews called Deep Dish - about two rival TV chefs who fall in love. It was very entertaining, and light. I heard Mary Kay speak at the Decatur Book Festival last summer, and she said that she had spent some time with Paula Deen when she was researching the book. Paula is kind - she's 2nd or 3rd cousin to my second cousin's wife. So we are related, at least in the south.

Mother and I got a kick out of watching Ree Drummond, a/k/a Pioneer Woman on Good Morning America this morning. She made pot roast, potatoes au gratin with fresh rosemary, and mocha brownies. All the hosts were standing there saying what a fabulous breakfast it was!  I do wish she had emphasized that pot roast is SO much better if you liberally throw in some cheap fruity red wine, and soy sauce. Some minced garlic, and you make even me, who isn't fond of any beef roast, a happy camper.

Michael had the gall to complain to me this morning about my putting two deviled eggs on his plate for breakfast. I make deviled eggs sometimes because it's the only sure way to get an egg down my kids in the morning. He said he was tired of them. I told him if he doesn't like the breakfast menu, he can come downstairs 10 minutes earlier every morning and fix his own breakfast! Then I gave him a piece of homemade pound cake. [I like to mix it up a bit, discipline-wise; then they think I'm crazy and life is much more fun!]

RECIPE LAGNIAPPE

My aunt introduced us to southern humorist Lewis Grizzard’s mama’s cornbread, and these are the muffins; same recipe. My mother used to make batches of these and sell them at her church bake sales every November and they would sell out in 5 minutes.

CORN MUFFINS

1 egg

1 cup buttermilk

1 ½ cups White Lily self-rising cornmeal mix

1/2 cup mayonnaise

Cook in greased muffin cups at 400 for 20-30 minutes. You MUST put in enough maynnaise - otherwise they aren't anything special. The mayo makes them fabulous. I don't much like mayo and I love these.

If there are leftovers, store them in a plastic bag, sealed. The next morning, crumble them into a bowl, add some butter and pour milk over it, and heat it up. It makes sort of a porridge – yummy! That’s what I had for breakfast this morning…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The doctor who delivered me, Dr. Curly Watson, is now 100 years old and still seeing patients! According to The Augusta Chronicle he is celebrating his 100th birthday.  He still practices. Dr. Watson delivered me, my brother, and at least two of my umpteen cousins. He was the next door neighbor of my aunt and uncle for many years. My aunt still sees him as a patient.

Everyone calls him "Curly" even though he's completely bald and has been for many many years.

When he delivered me, the cord was wrapped around my neck and he just unwrapped it before delivering me. I saw him at a funeral about 10 years ago and when I shook his hand I said “Thanks for getting me out of a tight spot, Doc!”

Patty Griffin

Wow, my friend John, who has the world's best taste in music, shared a video of an artist I had never heard of, Patty Griffin. She reminds me of all my favorites - Mary Chapin Carpenter, Bonnie Raitt, Eva Cassidy. The first song I heard Patty sing absolutely blew me away. So soulful and amazing. Check these out:

 

 

This song, Rain, is gorgeous, and the lyrics are deep:

 

 

What an amazing artist. I urge you to go to YouTube and check out more of her music.

Ten Things that Bug Me About the Food Network Chefs

I don’t have much to report today so I decided to do a little explanation of why I have to reign in my obsession with the Food network. I could watch it all day. Better yet, I could watch it AND HGTV, and I’d turn into a big bag of mental mush, but that’s another post…

I thought it would be interesting to share some of my observations about food channel, though. I know, you’re saying Good Lord Dee, don’t you do that all the time, anyway? What else is there to say?! But there is more. Much more. Sometimes I like to just kvetch, ya know?!

Here are ten of my personal pet peeves when it comes to Food network chefs.

Hand Washing – you almost never see the chefs washing hands. This is why we have a flu epidemic folks. Rachel Ray is the only one I’ve ever seen wash her hands and SHE plays beat the Clock on every episode! Go figure. Go Rachel.

Lemon zest – who wants to eat lemon peel? Why not just some lemon juice?! If you need the fiber do something else like Metamucil. I refuse to put lemon zest in anything, but I’ll add a drop or two of lemon juice if I want that flavor.

Al dente pasta – I want soft pasta, the softer the better. I don’t want tough pasta. My Memaw taught me the best pasta is soft, baby. Nobody wants chewy mac & cheese.

Chocolate and peppers – I want pure, real chocolate, not some chocolate with hot pepper in it. That’s a bathroom disaster waiting to happen, right there, at least in my family. I couldn’t even watch that movie “Chocolad” where all the chocolate had weird stuff in it, like peppers. Ugh…

Flat leaf parsley – what is the big deal here?! It’s parsley, folks. You better put a ton of other seasonings on it if you want me to eat it. It’s a garnish, OK?!

Shrimp tails – I don’t cook shrimp with the tails on! Who wants to pull that thing off?! Ticks me off royally when I go to a nice restaurant and they don’t pull off the tails. I am now old and crotchety and I now just flat out tell the waiter “There’s a bigger tip for you, my friend, if you get those little tails pulled off, ya dig?!”

Chopping veggies – Now, I can get mesmerized watching some good veggie chopping but really, do we have to watch you slice and dice every little thing in the kitchen?! No. Just chop it on your own time. I want to hear about the food, maybe watch you pop something in your mouth, OK, but not watch it get chopped to death. [OK, I now own some of those fancy-schmancy chef’s knives and I am, I must admit, impressed by their chopping. It’s a lot harder than it looks.  Showoffs.]

Hot from the Oven – How is it the chefs pull out a dish from the oven, grab a fork or spoon, and dig in, saying “mmm!” or something? I don’t know about you but when I pull something right from the oven it has to cool off before I start eating it!

Tasting Spoons – I wish more of them would taste as they cook. Lord knows I do that, and I need to do it more often. Cooking by the seat of my pants, which is how I was taught to cook, means tasting, for heaven’s sake.

Garlic and Onion Powders – Not everyone has time to stand and chop garlic and onions. Why not tell people in a hurry to substitute the powders?! We’ve been using them for years and they make food so much more flavorful.

 NOTE: Tomorrow there will be more about the Food Network! Stay tuned for Part II...

Across Town

Michael was supposed to have his 3^rd post-placement visit with the social worker this afternoon, but we got caught behind an accident on westbound I-285 and sat, and sat, and sat. Michael said his stomach hurt, and I couldn’t even get over to exit. The social worker started last year making me go across town to her office – used to be we would meet a different social worker just for breakfast and it was a casual, relaxed meeting. Now it’s tense, just due to logistics. Finally, traffic barely moving, I had to call the agency office to reschedule the appointment. Then I had to turn around and head the other way, through that traffic. Grrr….

Michael had 21 pages of Social Studies homework! We didn’t have time to do anything else when we got home. They are trying to cram it all into his head with these CRCT practice tests, but some of the material was totally unfamiliar and we had to look at up. Finally at 8:30 I said that’s it, we’re done. We have to eat dinner. I will say this, I was surprised at how much he had retained. He has an amazing memory for facts, unlike his sister. However, he has no idea at the moment where his wallet is located…

I am thinking he may grow up to be a university professor?!

We didn’t watch a movie tonight, but we watched Food channel, and this place really intrigued me. Good thing I don’t live in California – I wouldn’t fit through the door after a while! I was really fascinated by the Cupcake in a Jar - I’d love to try one of those!

A cousin of mine sent the email below and I thought it was intriguing. Anyone ever heard of this motor oil?!

Hey...ever heard of "Marvel Mystery Oil"?  Apparently they used it on the Corsairs. 

A man I know was talking in the office the other day about his truck.  All of his vehicles

last in excess of 350,000 to 400,000 miles.  He contributes that to using a qt. or a bit

less of that oil in addition to the regular oil and only has to change it every 6,000 miles.

***********************************************************************

Alesia was asked out by another boy. I told her she can go, but I have to meet him and chat with him, and make sure he seems OK. I know the street where he lives, which is very close to here and has the same sort of nice, middle class homes. Alesia made a point of assuring me he was just going to be a friend, not a “relationship.” Let’s hope I like his looks and he can carry on a conversation…

Mother did a great post, and you can see it here.

 

Teen Trouble

We had a nice day yesterday but it didn’t start off well. Mother and I had a confrontation with Alesia at breakfast. She has been wildly moody lately, and rude. Mother lost it and yelled at her, and I yelled a bit, too. We don’t tolerate rudeness, at all.

I do not think teens should be allowed to get away with rudeness; it just breeds more of it.

I later calmed down and we talked, but I am not sure if I really got through to her. It’s so hard to explain things to her sometimes. The fact she’s 18 and acts 15 is really problematic. She wants to go running around with her friends all the time and I don’t trust her judgment. I insist on not allowing her to run around without me knowing who she’s with, where she’s going, and who is driving. I usually insist on taking her and picking her up. She gets mad.

When I was 18 my parents could pretty much trust me not to do anything stupid. I have a hard time with Alesia because she is so easily influenced by other kids, kids who don’t have my values. She also has memory issues that interfere with learning. I have to tell her something 25 times before she remembers it.

For instance, last night I was making dinner and helping Mike with a health assignment to write about drug and alcohol addiction. I pointed out that children of alcoholics are much more like to become alcoholics. She was at the computer and heard this and said “Really? You never told me that.” I have told her that, many times. She has a terrible memory. I reiterated that she and Michael must NEVER, ever drink anything, not even a beer, because they are so vulnerable to alcoholism.

We talk all the time about not drinking, not doing drugs if they are offered, not engaging in risky behaviors of all sorts. They get tired of my lectures but I keep on, anyway, because I have to try.

She also thinks I am weird because I won’t let her “hang out” with kids whose parents I don’t know.

We went to Michael’s yesterday [the crafts store] and I bought Alesia a kit so she can make jewelry. She came home and made several pieces, and seemed in a good mood the rest of the day.

The temperatures were beautiful, in the upper 60’s. I actually went to walk yesterday afternoon, late, with Michael by me on roller skates. The new prosthetic had rubbed a sore place on his arm, probably from 2 hours of bike riding Saturday, so I told him to just leave off the prosthetic and let his arm recover.

My prayers last night were all about guidance, and protecting my daughter. It’s never easy parenting a teen, I know, but I worry about my daughter being so emotionally naïve and vulnerable.

 

Squash and Moonlight

I was really unhappy with yesterday’s post, for several reasons. I didn’t mean for the photos to be so huge. I couldn’t reduce them without the computer freezing up, though. So I worked for hours on that one lousy post. Grrr…. I also wasn’t happy with how scatterbrained my post sounded, although some day swriting a beautiful essay-type post just isn’t in me.

I feel a bit obligated to write something every day, although that something may not be exactly profound or funny or whatever. At least all 4 of my regular readers know I am alive.

Friday night I made spaghetti squash for dinner. What a delight, to find a new squash I love! I had never cooked it. I will know better next time how to cook it. I love all types of squash. Spaghetti squash is really easy. Just throw the whole huge thing in the oven on 375 for 45 minutes to an hour. Pull it out and cut it in half. Pull out the innards with the seeds and throw them away – this part freaked me out because I wasn’t expecting something that looked like baked pumpkin. I was expecting beautiful strand of squash, not icky seeds. It didn’t occur to me until I had scooped out the seed part that you do that and just toss the seeds in the compost bucket, then take a fork and scrape the flesh, which forms the spaghetti strands quite nicely. I threw the strands in a pot and tossed with some butter, salt and pepper and fresh parmesan. Yummy.  Made a huge amount – enough for 2-3 meals. Very nutritious, read more here.

The kids and I watched a movie the other night that was really clever and at times funny, called Serious Moonlight. It starred Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton. It’s about a couple who go through a marriage crisis one day while at their country house. She finds out he’s fixing to leave her, and she knocks him out and tapes him to a toilet. Sounds idiotic, I know, but it’s better than that explanation. After we watched it, I went online to read more about it, a habit of mine, and the critics hated it. It got only one good review I could find, which surprised me. Here's Here’s the review. It’s definitely not a movie for small children, but it’s worth seeing if you like relationship stories.

The only thing that bugged me is I kept thinking, where is the title going to be explained? The words “serious moonlight” come from an old David Bowie song. Didn’t hear the song in the film. Didn’t hear any discussion of moonlight. Oh well…