The Crab Chronicles

Sunny Saturday Musings

 

Michael had a T-2 match this morning and lost big-time. He needs to really work on his skills and then he could be an amazing player, but I don't know how to motivate him. I emailed Coach, but I think only divine intervention will work at this point... [The above image has nothing to do with tennis, it's just one of my favorie shots of Michael...]

We are having a beautiful day here with nearly spring-like temperatures - 50's, sunshine. Hardly feels like winter. Until you go outside and stand out of the sunshine for a minute. Then it's nippy.

We took Mother to Target this afternoon. She had not been out in a while, due to the bad weather - cold affects her arthritis. I have to rant here for a minute. The little scooters at Target for older folks and folks with handicaps are always so balky and difficult to operate. Mother went careening off today feeling cramped in the little scooter, and fearing for the safety of other shoppers. It was so ridiculous. Mother just can't traipse all over the big stores, but we'd go more often if the scooters worked better. Shame on Target. 

I am trying to think of something Alesia can do as a hobby. She is currently doing nothing, except reading and drawing. I suggest things and she shoots me down. Here is a list of the things she has done since I adopted her 5 years ago: dance classes, piano classes, pottery class, drawing class, swimming lessons, tennis lessons, youth group activities. She flat refuses to do anything with the youth group at church, and I don't push it. She's 18 and they are all younger. I am not sure what to do. I wish she had something to do that was really fun for her, like writing is to me.

I woke up at 5 a.m. with a sinus headache. Tylenol sinus didn't touch it. I finally took one of Alesia's 800 mg. Ibuprofen and it tamped down to bearable levels. I need to get out the neti pot and use it, but it's so messy and I am just really averse to it. Snorting salt water is not my idea of fun.

 

I am spending way too much time playing Farmville on Facebook. It's so stupid. I get obsessed way too easily. I went to stay at a vacation home with my best friend when I was 16, in a chalet in the mountains owned by her dad. We had a nice weekend, but I became obsessed with the vintage slot machine he had there, and I played the nickel slots until I was this crazed person and my friend was yelling at me in frustration. That right there is why I will never go to Vegas - I can't control myself. I would make a terrible gambler.

One of my dad's cousins supported himself as a gambler in South Georgia. You can laugh but Bud was quite a gambler. He married a schoolteacher and had two daughters, and they told me when they were growing up they had to be quiet all day while their dad slept because he stayed up all night. In the morning they might find the TV gone or a brand new Cadillac in the driveway. They never knew. They grew up to be remarkably normal people due, I am sure, to the stabilizing influence of their mother.

One thing I have been doing a lot is scanning old photos into the computer. here are some good ones:

 

My Impressions of the News Today

It occurred to me I haven't posted anything substantial in a while, so I am going to give it a try. Since my mini-rant the other day didn't generate any hate mail, only one respectful disagreeing comment, I feel emboldened.

When I open my browser every morning, I get the Yahoo news stories in a window. Seldom do I click on a story, but every few days I might open up something.

Yesterday, or the day before, there was a link to a story about Angelina Jolie changing her hairstyle. That made me wince. We have soldiers dying abroad, people starving in Haiti, the healthcare debate, and yet, Angelina's hair was considered newsworthy. Can you say FLUFF?!!?

When I was in Kazakhstan I spent a good bit of time watching the news on the BBC, because it was one of the few channels in English. They did real stories, very little fluff. Now, did I find something like the economic forecast for Sumatra fascinating? Nope. However, it was real news, not fluff. I felt much better informed about the world after watching the BBC.

Today's Yahoo stories include this about Tiger Woods. Now, the fact that after months of silence and scandal a major figure in sports is speaking to the press is news. However, should it get the press time it's getting?! I don't think so. It's being blown out of proportion, IMHO. Mother and I disagree about the press conference. She says while she doesn't agree with his actions, lots of public figures cheat on their wives, without all the hoopla. I say, Tiger is getting hammered because most everyone thought he was a really honorable, decent guy, a gentleman athlete. Now we have discovered he's a secret party boy who has lived a double life. I think he should address that, confess to his misdoings, and explain his recent actions. The public won't forgive unless he's humble and asks for it. (OTOH, he's incredibly rich and can tell the world to go to hell.)  If you really want to dive into the Tiger speculation pool, check out CNN online. Again, I can see covering it, but devoting all that space to it?! Puh-leeze...

When I want actual news, not fluff, I go to Reuters. They aren't perfect, though. Take this story about the most miserable cities in the country. To me, it's worse than fluff. It's manufactured news. Some "experts" decided to take a set of criteria and decide the 10 most miserable cities in America. Who decided what experts would come up with the criteria? Who is to say the judgments are valid? Did they actually go to talk to people in those cities? Granted, Forbes did it and one likes to think of them as reliable, but really.

Here's the biggest issue: people swallow what the news spoonfeeds them. They don't investigate. Sensationalism sells. Celebrity sells. John Mayer made a bunch of stupid remarks the other day and it got big coverage. I'd rather know about the healthcare reform bill. I'd rather hear about the economic forecast. I want to know what's happening with interest rates. Why am I bombarded with fluff? Why do I have to root out the real news?!

The Wall Street Journal was once the province of real news, and real serious stuff. Now, check it out  online . Front and center, a salacious story about Olympic pair skaters doing the tango - siblings doing the sexy tango. Oooh, giggle giggle. Oh puh-leeze. That's news?! All the stories out of the Olympics and they spotlight THAT?!? Color me disgusted.

True story. When I was in paralegal school we had an assignment to buy a Wall Street Journal and read a few stories in it and report on them to the class. I dutifully bought one and tried to read it. I couldn't. I kept falling asleep. I even tried reading it aloud, cup of coffee by my side. Still fell asleep after 1 paragraph. I told my mother this on the phone one night and she burst out laughing. "When you were a baby," she explained, "I wanted your daddy to read to you every night, and it didn't matter what he read. So he would read the Wall Street Journal. Every night after just a few minutes, you fell fast asleep." So my response to the WSJ is a conditioned response.  

I should have majored in journalism in college. The only reason I didn't was because I knew journalism majors had to take basic economics and I thought I would fail the class. (I was an honors student only because I carefully chose the easiest major for me [Drama] and took the easiest classes.) Another factor was I had worked for a year on The Knoxville Journal, our local paper, and I knew the regular reporters had long hours and made little money. So journalism didn't seem attractive. I regret that decision now.

I had worked on my high school newspaper for all 4 years, and we had an award-winning newspaper. Our sponsor was Mrs. Charlene Becker, a lady who was serious about journalistic ethics and worked us hard. Our sports editor went on to become a TV news reporter in Nashville, then an attorney. One of our Managing Editors went on to earn a Ph.D. in Religion, after a career as a newspaper reporter and a cloistered nun. All the alumni I know about went on to do fairly important things, except one guy who's now a janitor. I was Features Editor for two years, and went on to.... be a paralegal and write a blog.  What a shock. I sent Mrs. Becker a postcard about my book last summer. I hope I redeemed myself a tiny bit in her eyes...

Things Looking Up

Well, after last nights diatribe, I hope I still have some readers... ;-)

I had to get up early this morning and get Michael to Children's for the fitting of his new prosthesis. I took my camera but the battery died. The new arm and hand are mucho cool, though. They fit great, and the hand even has sensors in the fingers so it will grip harder if something starts to slip from the grasp. Of course, as the therapist was explaining the automatic tightening of the grip he said "Of course, you DON"T want to use this when you're going to the bathroom," and Michael's eyes got very wide. "NO! I never do that!" he sputtered. I told him in the car later he needs to keep the new hand with the kung fu grip far away from Mr. Happy...

Michael was SO thrilled with the new hand. With it, he feels more normal, less different. Thank God for the Inner Wheel, because they funded it for me.

I had a nice lunch with my friend Maria, who I haven't seen in months. She stays very busy, and I stay busy, so it's hard to find time to meet. Her office is right next to Atlantic Station in midtown.  I am ashamed to admit I had never walked around Atlantic Station, the new shopping area built on the site of the old Atlantic Steel plant. It's a nice area with shops and restaurants, an outdoor mall, pedestrian friendly. I did feel a little like I was in a sci-fi movie set though...

As soon as Alesia came home we took Coco to the vet. She hasn't been able to eat the antibiotic, so they just gave her a shot of antibiotics, which lasts 2 weeks. The regular vet hadn't seen her in a while and he said he was amazed at how well she is doing. She isn't in great pain or anything, but she was gnawing the wound site and I was worried about infection. He said in 22 years of practice he has only seen 2 other dogs with Ehlers-Danlos, her disease, and she's doing remarkably well. I told him she is one pampered pooch and that's fine with us.

 

A Heavy Load

There is a lot going on in my world, but a lot of it I can't blog about all of it directly. Lots of things to ponder, though, and pray about. I'm going to stir up some controversy here, too. Heck, sometimes I need to vent.

Alesia had a good day until she tried to go to sleep, and now another migraine is plaguing her. She is taking everything, including Imitrex.

There's one family member in the hospital, an older cousin of Mother's who is just like a brother to her and she's very concerned. I am, too. After losing my aunt and uncle the same day just over a year ago, I take nothing for granted.

There are other family members we just learned the other day who are really struggling financially, through no fault of their own. I mean struggling. We are, too, but not like that.

I had lunch today with a friend who is out of work and pondering bankruptcy. I urged him not to take that step, but to think outside the box for career options, including perhaps a return to school to get more marketable job skills. In this economy you have to be creative about options. You also have to not give into despair. I wish he had more faith.

I don't write much about the outside world, more about my personal world, but there are so many things that I see as injustices and I can't control them - the above are only a few examples. I don't like to be too controversial on here, but I am going to say this. I have two friends who are overseas, one in Iraq and one in Afghanistan, and I want them HOME. My brother lost a year of his life in Iraq, and I became a pacifist and isolationist, because it was suddenly personal. He's alive, but he is not the same. I cannot see why any other American man or woman should die on foreign soil. We need to bring them home and solve our problems here before we poke into anywhere else in the world where we cannot win. No family should have to see their loved on brought home in a box, not unless America is directly threatened.

Whew, I feel better. Bring on the disagreeing comments, if you must. My mind is set.

I saw a quote the other day that I have been thinking about a lot, because it says so nicely exactly what I feel:

Religion is for people who fear going to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there.

After watching my father die in agony from cancer, I can safely say I've been to hell, and what kept me sane was not religion, but FAITH. I'm not condemning religion, but religion without personal spirituality or faith is an empty exercise. You have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

WAITING BOYS

A friend of mine recently traveled to Russia to adopt a little boy, and while there met and spent some time with two other children, brothers. She wanted to adopt them but simply couldn't - she already has two other kids. She is really interested in finding them a home. Here is what she said: "Ruslan and Pavel still wait for a family.   Ruslan is just 4 this month and his brother Pavel turned 3 this month.  They have a 10 thousand dollar grant to assist in their adoption.  (Call Adoption Ark if you are interested.)"

Well, on that note I will say my prayers and head to bed. You say yours, too...

Our Favorite Foods

Happy Shrove Tuesday! In honor of it, this post is all about one of my favorite subjects, FOOD.

In my family, we are foodies. I now see it, plain as pound cake. We are foodies. We love good food.

Yesterday Mike’s friend Colton was over and while waiting to be picked up, he and Mike were watching TV. Colton kept looking at the listings, asking if we got certain channels. “I don’t know,” was my answer to 90% of those inquiries. Finally he said, not rudely, “Well what do you watch?!”

“We don’t watch much TV. We sometimes watch Jeopardy, and either HGTV or the Food Channel.” I didn’t mention that Mother watches Fox a lot. Didn’t want a whole political discussion.

If my kids watch TV, which is rare, it’s either HGTV or Food, as much as I can control it. I don’t know what they do when I’m not in the room, and I don’t want to know. I do know we only get the most basic cable package, and there’s not much on there. I’ve never caught them watching MTV.

We love Iron Chef. We like watching Food. The Barefoot Contessa and Paula Deen are two favorites, and I like Alton Brown’s explanations of things on Good Eats. (I went to Georgia when Alton was there, but I have no memory other than a vague recollection of some nerdy kid hanging out backstage sometimes. I majored in Drama.)

The other night, Mother asked Michael what his favorite foods are. He wasn’t too enthusiastic about answering. I re-phrased the question. “What things do you really really love? If you went to heaven today and Jesus asked what things would you like to eat, what would you say?”

Mike looked amused. “I’d say, ask my mom!”

After some thought, here are his favorite foods: Hot wings / guacamole / Granny’s vegetable soup / Popeye’s fried chicken / warm chocolate chip cookies / pierogies / kiwi / homemade spaghetti sauce / scallops [made by mom] / okroshka [a Russian cold veggie soup] / tiramisu

- His favorite drink is Kvass, a Russian drink like 3% beer, which I won’t let him have. He also likes Kumiss, or mare’s milk, a Kazakh delicacy. [See more here]

- I made a tiramisu for Mother’s birthday, and it was a mistake. Now he LOVES Tiramisu. It’s filled with coffee and Kahlua. I didn’t think he’d like it. I have created a Tiramisu Frankenstein…

- a pierogi is "a bread type thing that has a hollow place inside where you can put anything - mashed potatoes, beef, or anything you want" [quoting Alesia] or you can look here

This is Alesia’s list: baguette, brioche [French breads do rock] / Mom’s lasagna / pound cake / pierogis / ribs / filet mignon / dark chocolate / fudge / turtle tracks ice cream.

- Alesia’s list isn’t as specific, but she has developed her list more painstakingly, as she is lactose intolerant. I was amused that she had so many sweets on there, as she is not a big sweets eater, fortunately.

- Her favorite drink is Monster energy drink. I never buy that stuff. She got it at school, of all places.

What’s interesting is that both of my kids have now developed pretty sophisticated taste buds. They help me cook. We consider a trip to the farmer’s market something really fun to do. We talk about how much better veggies and fruits are when grown in our garden.

I want my kids to develop an appreciation for food - not necessarily fine food, or what I call “foo-foo food” [which is artistically “plated,” for instance] but definitely for what I consider good food. You won’t find processed cheese in my house, for example. We don’t eat fake butter. We eat very little canned food.

I have long pondered writing a cookbook, except I am not a great cook. I like to cook. I think it’s fun. I like learning about food. I like trying new things. There is a spaghetti squash in my fridge right now, because the yellow squash at Kroger the other day looked awful, probably shipped from thousands of miles away. Now I have to find a spaghetti squash recipe that doesn’t involve pounds of sugar. That’s OK.

Just for fun, here is my list of favorite foods: brioche / lasagna / lobster / fried zucchini / chocolate chip cookies [homemade] / asparagus / ribs / Godiva chocolates / Mother’s brownies / Trader Joe’s lemonade

Here’s Mother’s list: scallops / Lay’s potato chips** / Krispy Kreme donuts, glazed only / prime rib, rare / chocolate turtles / avocados / burritos / tacos / tossed salad with her homemade dressing / Bloody Mary

When Alesia had been home just a short time, I took her to Bruster’s, and I was trying to explain some of the flavors. She knew some English. I said “chocolate, vanilla, turtle –“ and she got the most horrified look on her face. “Turtle?!” she said. I know she was thinking These Americans are real sickos, to eat turtles in ice cream! I was reminded of it a few years later when Alesia was trying to tell Michael in Russian about hot dogs and she said “It’s, you know, dog sausage!” – much to his absolute horror.

Michael didn’t like spinach until we introduced him to Stouffer’s spinach soufflé. Now he will eat it that way, and he’ll eat a serving of it sautéed. So I am not anti-convenience foods, but I think you need to choose them carefully.

One of the most important things I think you can do as a parent is to give your kids a good understanding of good food, and some basic cooking skills. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you do have to spend time. You have to educate yourself about food and nutrition. You have to set a good example.

Here endeth the lesson.

** The discussion got started because I was teasing Mother about her love of Lay’s potato chips, classic in the yellow bag. She remarked it wouldn’t be heaven if there were no Lay’s potato chips.

They Get On My Nerves

I am sorry for those of you who are having to work today. I also envy you.

My children are getting on my nerves. Bad.

Michael informed me today he has a social studies project due soon and I have to help him. He has to draw and write a postcard from a Latin American country. He is supposed to do it in class but if he does it entirely in class he will get a D. If I help him at home he should get at least a B. However, he has spent over an hour coloring the picture and griping about the fact that he can't find his colored pencils. Why? Because he can't find anything. Keeping up with possessions is not in his nature.

We have 500+ markers, gel pens, Sharpies, crayons, etc. in a huge box and they are now all over my bed, but he cannot create without colored pencils! Don't I know he is an artist?! How can he be expected to work with substandard materials?! Why should he be bothered with silly things like showers and making his bed, when there is art to be made?!

Thanks. I feel better now.

His friend Colton is coming over this afternoon, which will be a great distraction. I plan to send them down the street with tennis racquets and a basketball and hope they stay gone a while. I will silently will them to run around and burn off a lot of energy, so I can read a book. Quietly.

Alesia has another headache. Last night it was bad. It took a huge whopping prescription Ibuprofen, 2 Aleve, a Phinergan, and a Melatonin to get her to sleep. The headache is back this morning. I told her to take another whopping Ibuprofen. I think that some of her friends are stressing her out, urging her to get back with Boyfriend, while Mother and I are telling her to be nice, be friends, but otherwise steer clear. She prefers the counsel of her friends but deep down she knows we are right, I think. I hope.

I'm not sure what to do about the underlying stress, but a trip to see the therapist again may be in order.

Yesterday was notable for one reason only: Michael and I went to Kroger with a calculator and a wad of cash. It's good to show him how much things cost and how quickly they add up. Good lesson. Stressed me out, but we're OK. I shaved more than $50 off the week's groceries because we are eating several items from the freezer this week.

We had a pretty nice little Valentine's celebration mainly because there is a Rite Aid nearby with everything marked 50% off because they are going out of business. however, after sampling some chocolates, nobody wanted any dinner until after 9 p.m.

This long weekend has wreaked havoc on a normal schedule.

The Zipper, Very Funny

I haven't had much to laugh about here recently so I was delighted when Mother sent me this funny video in an email. It starts slow, but just watch this for 5 minutes - it's hysterical. I love the guy's accent, too.

 

 

Bad Thing #3

Well, I think bad things come in threes. I am very superstitious. Go ahead and laugh. (I am a lot Irish, and proud of it.) I hope I'm done with Bad Things, for a while, because tonight was Bad Thing #3. Coco had to go to the doggie ER tonight.*

We had a pretty quiet and laid back day. It was snowy and slushy until mid afternoon, so we didn't want to get out and risk being run down by some hapless idiot who can't drive on snow - which describes 75% of the Georgia population. So we stayed in.

Alesia was in a grouchy mood, hormonal. We had words. She went to spend the night with some friends of mine tonight who have two girls, both adopted. I hope those girls aren't hormonal...

Michael spent a good bit of time today playing in the snow with his friend Colton and some kids that live near him, including a cute girl who has a bassett hound. Michael was very enthusiastic when Mother and I mentioned tonight that we are thinking our next dog will be a bassett. Mother always had a bassett, for years, pre-Coco. They are very laid back, gentle dogs. Maybe we shouldn't have tempted fate, though, talking about "the next dog."

After we took Alesia to her spend the night gathering, we came home and were eating dinner. Michael was sitting in Alesia's chair and it tipped over and fell, on poor Coco. Michael felt terrible, but it was an accident. Coco tore a wound in her paw, and Michael and I had to take her to the 24 hour doggie emergency clinic which is nearby, fortunately.

It is bitter cold tonight, 20 degrees and windy. For Atlanta, that's like an Ice Age and I ain't talking about a movie! We were freezing in the clinic waiting room for two hours.

Coco seems to be OK, although getting the antibiotics down her will be a challenge.

Michael came home just wiped out, even though I propped him in front of the Food channel to watch Iron Chef, one of the few TV shows we all like [besides Jeopardy]. I was happy he was eating my homemade dark chocolate chip cookies, since the program was about cooking with chocolate and chilis. (I don't cook with chilis, since the indigestion would kill me...)

I am wiped out, too.

Please pray: for Coco's healing / for my friend Cindy L, traveling home from Kazakhstan with her new daughters, / and my friend Hallie's son, who is in Afghanistan.

*Bad Thing #1 was losing out on a job I really wanted, Bad Thing #2 was Alesia being plagued with migraines

 

Snow Day!

Well, I have to eat my words. It's snowing. Big time. The view out of my bedroom window looks a lot like this, our backyard:

 
It started around 1:00.

I looked out into the front yard and there was no snow. I grabbed the compost bucket I keep in the kitchen and headed out to the backyard, to the new garden bed, to bury the week's compost. The snow started coming down HARD! Mike was shoveling for me and he could barely keep it together to help me get the job done. I was more excited about the worms in the raised garden.

I walked back in the house, took off my coat, and said to the kids, "Looks like a good day to make a big pot of soup!"

Ten seconds later, Mother came in from the back of the house and announced, "It's a good day to make a big pot of soup!"

The kids had to laugh.

I made a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. The kids ate it well. Alesia ate two big bowls.

Here are some more shots, taken earlier. Now the snow is about an inch on the grass. Still not sticking on the roads, which I'm thankful for since Mike is at the movies with his friend Colton.

Oh, before I get to the snow shots, here's one of Alesia on the computer, which is where she has been a LOT today. Coco is in her usual spot on the back of the loveseat. I finally said, no more computer! Rejoin the family! The last straw was when I found her eating soup in front of the computer.

 

   

 
 
 

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Life looks a lot better after you get a decent night’s sleep. Yesterday I was functioning on 6 hours, and it wasn’t enough. I felt like someone had given me a small shot of thorazine. Everything was out of whack.

Alesia got up yesterday and said her headache was coming back. So she ate a doughnut and took a couple of Motrin, and then felt better. She went on to school. When she came home, though, she said her head hurt again. So I gave her a dose of the Phenergan, and that helped.

She got her progress report yesterday. Everything was great, all A’s and B’s, except a low C in Algebra. I asked her how she was going to pull that up. I have told her she needs to get her average up to 3.0 or higher because in Georgia that qualifies a student for a Hope scholarship to college. Any kid who goes to a state college with 3.0 or better gets tuition paid. Thank you, Georgia Lottery.

The kids are off school today and Monday. Bruce was going to come over, but there is snow predicted for today and Monday. Local weather guys are often off, and we usually get rain when everyone else gets snow, so I have a “we’ll see” attitude. Snow wouldn’t be bad. I just hate ice, and often it’s ice or sleet instead of snow.

I think I am doing OK, being patient about the job search, even as Mother and I struggle to get all the bills paid, and then I have moments of despair. Last night right before bed we were sitting in Mother’s room and Michael asked why we can’t go to Stone Mountain, where they have a temporary fake ski slope set up, Snow Mountain. I said we can’t go because it’s very expensive. He gave me a hard time about that and I just started crying and said I am sorry but I can’t afford to do things like that right now. Mother fussed at him.

He ran out of the room. I was mad at myself, but I couldn't get too angry at him. I know when he was with his birthmom, she didn't work most of the time and they were homeless. Maybe deep down he fears that again, although we've explained that won't every happen to our family.

Maybe I just need to take whatever job I can find, so the kids aren’t stressed out. Maybe Alesia’s headaches are not just school stress but she's stressed out about me not working. I don’t know. Such thoughts dog me sometimes.

When I get really down and start to feel panicky, I take a deep breath and remind myself it’s in God’s hands. I’m doing everything I can, but ultimately faith means trusting that we will be OK because we are not in control, he is.

Right now, as far as faith, I feel like here is where the rubber meets the road…