I don’t have much to report today so I decided to do a little explanation of why I have to reign in my obsession with the Food network. I could watch it all day. Better yet, I could watch it AND HGTV, and I’d turn into a big bag of mental mush, but that’s another post…
I thought it would be interesting to share some of my observations about food channel, though. I know, you’re saying Good Lord Dee, don’t you do that all the time, anyway? What else is there to say?! But there is more. Much more. Sometimes I like to just kvetch, ya know?!
Here are ten of my personal pet peeves when it comes to Food network chefs.
Hand Washing – you almost never see the chefs washing hands. This is why we have a flu epidemic folks. Rachel Ray is the only one I’ve ever seen wash her hands and SHE plays beat the Clock on every episode! Go figure. Go Rachel.
Lemon zest – who wants to eat lemon peel? Why not just some lemon juice?! If you need the fiber do something else like Metamucil. I refuse to put lemon zest in anything, but I’ll add a drop or two of lemon juice if I want that flavor.
Al dente pasta – I want soft pasta, the softer the better. I don’t want tough pasta. My Memaw taught me the best pasta is soft, baby. Nobody wants chewy mac & cheese.
Chocolate and peppers – I want pure, real chocolate, not some chocolate with hot pepper in it. That’s a bathroom disaster waiting to happen, right there, at least in my family. I couldn’t even watch that movie “Chocolad” where all the chocolate had weird stuff in it, like peppers. Ugh…
Flat leaf parsley – what is the big deal here?! It’s parsley, folks. You better put a ton of other seasonings on it if you want me to eat it. It’s a garnish, OK?!
Shrimp tails – I don’t cook shrimp with the tails on! Who wants to pull that thing off?! Ticks me off royally when I go to a nice restaurant and they don’t pull off the tails. I am now old and crotchety and I now just flat out tell the waiter “There’s a bigger tip for you, my friend, if you get those little tails pulled off, ya dig?!”
Chopping veggies – Now, I can get mesmerized watching some good veggie chopping but really, do we have to watch you slice and dice every little thing in the kitchen?! No. Just chop it on your own time. I want to hear about the food, maybe watch you pop something in your mouth, OK, but not watch it get chopped to death. [OK, I now own some of those fancy-schmancy chef’s knives and I am, I must admit, impressed by their chopping. It’s a lot harder than it looks. Showoffs.]
Hot from the Oven – How is it the chefs pull out a dish from the oven, grab a fork or spoon, and dig in, saying “mmm!” or something? I don’t know about you but when I pull something right from the oven it has to cool off before I start eating it!
Tasting Spoons – I wish more of them would taste as they cook. Lord knows I do that, and I need to do it more often. Cooking by the seat of my pants, which is how I was taught to cook, means tasting, for heaven’s sake.
Garlic and Onion Powders – Not everyone has time to stand and chop garlic and onions. Why not tell people in a hurry to substitute the powders?! We’ve been using them for years and they make food so much more flavorful.
