The Crab Chronicles

Photos from Pasha's Last Day in America

I am trying out the new photo manager for the new computer. I managed to download some photos..

  Michael in Pasha's jacket yesterday.

 
Gary and Pasha outside the Blue Ribbon Grill.

 
Gary, Pasha, Alesia and Lesleigh, outside the Blue Ribbon. I couldn't get Michael to get in the photo.

A Saved Man

I am not usually awake at 7:12 a.m. on a Sunday morning, much less typing a blog post, but today is an unusual day. Pasha is leaving this morning. Right now he is getting in the shower.

Yesterday, like so many recent days, was a whirlwind of activity for us.

Pasha and the kids and I went to Frys to shop for computers in the morning. Pasha bought a new laptop. I bought new CPU's for me and the kids. I know it sounds extravagant, with me out of work, but the computers haven't worked well for months and my computer tech guy says that he simply cannot fix them. Pasha echoed that same opinion, so after the "second opinion" I had to face facts. Frys had excellent deals. I have an income tax refund to fall back on. So I took the plunge.

After that, I dropped off Pasha and Alesia at the mall. Michael had a tennis match, which he faced without me, to my regret - the first time ever, but I felt like I had to be here for the computer switchover. I spent the afternoon switching everything to a portable hard drive.

Last night my friend Gary, a UGA professor of languages and a dear friend since college, and my cousin and friend Lesleigh, went to dinner with us. Gary and Les are two of the smartest, most personable people I know, and they were delighted to meet Pasha. We sat at Blue Ribbon Grill and talked and laughed, and it was truly like we are all family.

Pasha's visit has been a huge turning point in his life. It has also been a turning point in mine, too. I was so glad to be able to repay some of the kindness he showed to me. When I was adopting Alesia and dealing with a very cold-hearted, uncaring agency, Pasha was there to help me cope. He translated between me and Alesia. He offered his friendship. He was a university student then, bright and funny.

Spending time with Pasha now, I feel almost parental. He has matured a lot in the past 5 1/2 years, and he has become a really admirable young man. He hates violence and won't watch violent movies. He takes great care to try and eat healthy. He doesn't drink alcohol and won't even drink caffeine. He shows amazing patience and kindness to everyone. I asked him if he wanted to come to America one day, to live, and he said no, he wanted to stay in Khabarovsk, and contribute to his community and the people there. I know he likes America a lot, but he has allegiance to his mother country.

One of the choir members asked me last weekend if Pasha had been "saved." I was taken aback. I said he believes in God, so to me, he is saved. She wasn't happy with that answer. She wanted to hear he had accepted Jesus into his heart. Those are weighty words. I wasn't going to say them, though, because I was uncomfortable speaking for Pasha and his feelings. Today, however, if someone asked me that same question about him, I would say yes, without hesitation. He hasn't ever told me he had some great conversion experience. However, he prays before every meal, with us. He told me he believes in the teachings of God, in all different forms. He has read the bible. Most importantly, to me, he has quietly but firmly shown me that he has a strong sense of right and wrong, and while he may not quote the bible much, he lives it. He LIVES the teachings of Jesus. Isn't that what Jesus wanted from us?!

On his last nights here, Pasha didn't go out to a disco, which he had said he thought would be fun. He helped me with the computer, and spent time with the children. That's just one small example of his goodness.

My kids can bicker and snap like nobody's business, but Pasha has never fussed about it, to them or to me. He kept Alesia with him all afternoon yesterday, which freed me up to do what I needed to do. She has been really grumpy lately and gets on my nerves easily.

He told us at dinner last night that he is never in a hurry, because he wants to savor each experience, and enjoy it. He will not be rushed. He doesn't eat fast. He carefully considers the lilies of the field, was my thought when he said that. How many people do you know who live life with such deliberation and care?

He has enriched our lives in ways he doesn't even realize.

Here is a remark from him that I consider so uniquely Pasha, and it shows his beautiful heart. We were in the car one day and it was raining. I asked him if he wanted an umbrella. He explained that he doesn't use umbrellas. "I had a girlfriend once who liked to walk in the rain. So to make her happy, I learned to like walking in the rain. Now I never use umbrella."

I am crying as I type this because I am going to miss Pasha so much. When he is back in Khabarovsk, a piece of my heart will be on the other side of the world.

Seeing Sights

I was so glad when yesterday was over. It was a tense day.

As soon as Alesia came home from school we had a long talk, and I pray it made some sort of impact on her. She said her jeans had ripped and she had asked several people for help before approaching the principal. I asked her why she didn't just call me to come down and bring her some new jeans. Her answer - "You were busy." Well no, not so much at 8:30 in the morning, once Michael is at school. I told her it hurt my feelings she didn't even think to call me.

The biggest issue was communication. Alesia doesn't communicate well. I don't know if it's due to the Auditory Processing Disorder, or not knowing enough English, or what. Instead of trying to communicate clearly, Alesia gets mad and storms off. I explained that her behavior will not serve her well when she's trying to deal with a boss or a husband in the future.

She seemed in a good mood after our talk, thank goodness. I did not un-ground her, though, for her rudeness.

Pasha spent all day seeing the touristy sights around town. He saw the Georgia Aquarium, and the High Mseum of Art. He said he went through them pretty quickly, because he explained he felt like he could've spent days in either one, to see them thoroughly. Both are fascinating places, unique to Atlanta.

Pasha has done more shopping than anything while here, but I feel like he saw the 3 places unique to Atlanta - Stone Mountain, the Aquarium, and the High. If you do not live in Atlanta but think you might visit one day, those should be your top 3 destinations.

He was quite proud of himself for negotiating MARTA, the subway here, very successfully, and even catching a bus from the train station over here to our neighborhood. I've never ridden a public bus in Atlanta.

Even after a long day of sightseeing, Pasha said last night he still had a lot of energy. So around 7 last night he and the kids walked up to Publix and bought cheesecake, and walked back. It's probably about a mile to Publix. Alesia was so thirsty when she got back, she drank a big glass of juice and then couldn't eat her dinner. She fell asleep watching the movie.

We watched Local Hero, one of my all-time favorite movies. I highly recommend it if you're looking for a wonderful, funny, quirky little film. 

BEFORE I forget, Mom did a great post, A Legacy of Stories. 

The Blind Side Revisited

Yesterday was a much more laid back day then recent ones, and what a relief. I ran over to Wolf Camera in the morning to do an errand, but otherwise the day was pretty relaxed.

Pasha slept until about 10:30 or so. He was awake and had showered by 11 when I got back from Wolf. He had seriously underslept and needed to catch up on sleep, which he admitted. You can only push your body so far, then you need to recharge the batteries.

We went to North DeKalb Mall for lunch in the food court, then a movie. The food court at that mall is down to just 3 places to eat; Wendy's, a deli, and a Chinese fast food place. Sad sign of this rotten economy. We had Chinese, which was not great. However, it was nice to be able to just sit and chat.

We saw the movie The Blind Side. I had seen it before but I didn't tell Pasha until afterwards. It's such an awesome movie, I just knew he would like it, and he did. He prefers films about human beings, not space aliens or fake things. It's one of those endearing characteristics about Pasha. He realized the power of The Blind Side. I asked him if he had trouble understanding the southern accents and he grinned and said "No. Sandra Bullock spoke perfectly clearly." He said he cried twice in the movie. I didn't see it, but I was wiping away a lot of tears.

Last night when I was fixing dinner he said he was still thinking about the movie. He said in Russia it would probably never get shown in a theater, even thought they get a lot of American imports in movies. We finished watching Jerry Maguire, which we had started days ago - another great film, one of my favorites.

Michael came home saying he had to write 4 one page essays for Social Studies, AND study for a test. I think the substitute teacher got that homework wrong. Mike was so upset he just became non-functional. I helped him finish one of the essays and got him to eat some bread and a banana, then he gave out of gas and spent a couple of hours in his room. I knew he needed to eat and sleep and he would be fine, but I couldn't get him to cooperate with me, so I left him on his own. He did get his clean clothes put away, then studied for his test, so I guess that's a blessing. He got up half an hour early this morning to study some more. 

He's growing. He grew 1/4 inch in the past few weeks.

Alesia spent most of the evening in front of the computer preparing a display for International Night at school. She and some friends are doing the display about Russia. She kept printing out things to put on the tri-fold display and we talked about them. She printed out a picture of a statue of Lenin. I said "Who was Lenin? Why was he important?" and she didn't know. She has studied him in school, and we have watched movies like Reds and Dr. Zhivago, and even a series of DVDs on Russian history, but she was clueless. I told her briefly why he was important and she acted totally uninterested. Pasha was sitting right there, but he managed not to look as dismayed as I was. He told me at lunch he could see why I told him Alesia is so immature, acting more like 15 than 18.

I just pray she can catch up soon...

Lots to do today. I am going to buy Windows 7 and put it in my computer, because the dang computer keeps shutting down every 5 minutes, and Pasha said a new system should fix that.

Irish Day

Happy St. Paddy's Day! Everyone always claims Irish heritage on this day, but I am actually Irish, tracing my ancestry to two McConnell brothers who came from Irelandbefore the American revolution, plus the Hastys [Mother's family] are part Irish. Mother remembers Grandpa Hasty singing "Tura Lura Lura" to her when she was tiny.

Grandpa Hasty was also part Cherokee [1/4] and, by all accounts, a powerful and forbidding individual in Cherokee County, Georgia in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He's below with my great-grandmother Ginnie MacMillan:

 

Yep, I look just like him. Not. Papaw used to say I looked like Ginnie, his mother.

Yesterday was a rather strange day, as I didn't get much done.

Pasha has bought so much here he needed another suitcase to carry it in, so I took him to Goodiwll yesterday morning. I told him it was silly to spend $100-200 on a new suitcase, when we could pick up one secondhand at Goodwill. He found one, in fact, for $10. It's a little scuffed up, but it's large and it rolls just fine. Pasha was really grossed out by the thought of buying anything secondhand, though. He really struggled with the idea of even using the suitcase. I assured him we could spray it with Lysol, and even put his things in a large plastic bag, if it would make him feel better. Thrift stores are not big where he comes from.

I had to go across town and pick up Michael's 3rd post-placement report yesterday afternoon, and today I have to copy photos of Michael and send off the report. It's kind of a pain but at least I only have to do it once a year.

I picked up printer cartridges for the kids' printer so Alesia could print out a report for school, and the little shop where I buy recycled cartridges also does a brisk business in rebuilt computers. I looked at a new CPU the guy was willing to sell me for $80, which is an amazing deal. However, it's not more powerful than the one they have now, and has no real bells and whistles. There are also no guarantees it will work, no warranty, etc. So I am leery of it.

I picked up Mike from school and set out for a mall north of here [Gwinnett Place], after talking to Jim, my computer repair guy. He told me there were two good places up there to get bargains on computers. I drove all over creation and never found either store. VERY frustrating. Grrr..... The kids were noisy and really got on my nerves, towards the end.

Yesterday afternoon, Pasha was given a tour of Emory University by my friend Melissa, an alumnus. He said he was very impressed by it. Mel's husband Andrew works in the hospital and Pasha got to see how the ICU works. Andrew explained Emory is not a "typical" hospital, but a really high-end facility with the latest technology.

We were late from our computer jaunt and didn't get home until after 6. Pasha had told Mother he was going for a walk. He wasn't home by 7, so I called him and he said he was at the mall, and he would eat something there in the food court. I was ticked. I  had prepared a big dinner, and told him earlier in the day I expected him home, and he didn't come home until almost 9. I told him, diplomatically I hope, that since he only has 4 more evenings with us, I'd like him home for dinner from now on. He agreed. It was an awkward moment. The kids feel like they're not getting to see him.

Getting back to Ireland, it's one of only two countries I want to see bad enough to get on an airplane for a long flight again, the other one being Italy. I watched a video this morning with great wistfulness. I couldn't get the video to embed, but you can find it on YouTube, it's put out by the Irish tourism board. Features some really nice music.

Corruption

Pasha has now been in the US about 10 days. He is adjusting, and not so bowled over by everything. For instance, we went to the DeKalb County Farmer's Market yesterday morning, and he was able to get in and out pretty swiftly. On the way, I tried to explain that in Atlanta we have many different counties, and what a county is.

The farmer’s market has a great selection of fruits, veggies, and everything else. I got a LOT of veggies and fruits. The kids decimated the strawberries as soon as they saw them. Pasha said he can’t eat them because they turn him “pink.” Must be allergic.

I asked Pasha if he likes raspberries and blueberries and he said, very seriously, “I love them.”

Despite his healthy eating habits, Pasha has a huge sweet tooth. We had only been there a few minutes when he reported to me he had found Tiramisu. The farmer’s market has a huge number of already prepared foods, so even if you don’t cook you can go crazy in there.

Then Pasha went with me and Mother for the weekly Kroger run. He was very kind about helping Mother out of the car and into one of the little motorized carts, which Alesia usually does.

Pasha had been to Publix, but not Kroger. As soon as we walked in. he said “There is cheesecake here?!” I showed him the cheesecake. I bought a half dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and as soon as we got home he tried one. I had told him we really like KK’s. He took one bite and got a rapturous look on his face. “It melts in the mouth!” he said. He ate another one almost immediately. I explained some people really like cake donuts, and bought a box of Entemann’s, too, but he didn’t like it as well. I am corrupting him slowly.

After the mall, we went through the drive-thru at Burger King, since it was nearly 2 and we were hungry. Right in front of us was a very new white Jaguar with a funny license tag – it said MEEOWW. I had explained about people paying extra to get custom tags, but he hadn't seen one yet. Pasha whipped out his camera to take a photo, but the car moved away too quickly. I don’t know what was funnier, Pasha with that camera or a Jaguar getting burgers at Burger King…

Pasha spent from 2:30-8:30 at Northlake Mall. He said he is now done shopping. He bought 5 dress shirts and a pair of black size 13 “sports shoes” with funky red soles. You can see a photo of them here. I told him everyone in Russia is going to think he's American. 

 

Alesia had her first session of tutoring a little girl in math yesterday afternoon at the library. The child is on the tennis team and we know her from the pool. She is Michael’s age but is homeschooled. I think this is a good little job for Alesia. She easily explained square roots to the child – something I couldn’t do if you held a gun to my head.

We started watching the movie Up tonight. Really fun little movie. I highly recommend it, even for childless folks. Very entertaining.

Today, a friend of mine is showing Pasha around Emory University. This morning, though, we have to go buy him another suitcase, so he can take all his purchases back to Russia.

The Walk of Faith

My friend Cindy LaJoy, who has just brought home two beautiful little girls from Michael's orphanage in Kazakhstan a few weeks ago, has a powerful post today. I urge you to read it, whether or not you are a person of faith. As Cindy bravely tries to help her girls understand a new definition of "Mama" and learn to see God, she has to reinforce her own faith walk.

I get panicky and discouraged sometimes about being out of work and constantly worrying about money. I have to try and take deep breaths and remind myself that God is going to see me through this. My faith has never let me down, and my God is the ultimate parent that I have to trust. It's a tough thing to do for me, since I hate to relinquish control to anyone.

Little things illustrate how fortunate I am, and I need to pay attention and remember. Pasha was looking for crackers last night and I told him to open the door of our pantry and where they would be found. He opened the door and just stared and stared. Finally he said "I have never seen so much food." It's a normal sized closet, fitted out by my brother with a lot of wire shelves. We have canned goods and dry goods in there. I never thought it was anything special. Yet, to a Russian, it's incredible bounty. Truthfully, our family could live for a month just on the stuff in that closet.

I've never had to go hungry, or really worry about not finding food in the market.

A friend was recently telling me that his credit was destroyed in a divorce. That has happened to many of my friends, who are good at financial things but couldn't control a vindictive spouse. I don't have to deal with that.

I don't have to deal with kids who constantly demand money from me. My kids are very sweet about it.

I have a mother who is incredibly generous with her money, and pays most of the household bills. I am VERY fortunate in that regard.

Thank you, Cindy, for reminding me of my faith walk.

Thank you, God, for your many, many blessings in my life.

Sunday

[re Sunday March 14 - computer didn't cooperate last night to publish] The kids and Pasha went to Stone Mountain Park with my friend Melissa and Andrew and their girls, both adopted from Ukraine. The weather wasn't cooperative. When I ran errands earlier this afternoon I thought it was really chilly, with sprinkling rain and fierce wind. I should've worn a coat. Yikes.

When they got back they allreported they had a great time. They did more than just hike up the mountain. They did a specialized ropes course called Sky Hike. Pasha said he wasn't interested. he walked around the mountain and talked to Andrew. He said he really wished he'd had more time to explore the area on his own, more slowly and deliberately.

Alesia literally RAN up the mountain. This is why my brother's nickname for her is "Ninja Girl."

I am so glad Pasha saw Stone Mountain, though. It's one of the few things that really make Atlanta unique. He has said - and I admire this greatly - he doesn't want to necessarily just do "tourist" things - the museums, World of Coke, etc. He wants to experience America and Americans in a more authentic way.  Tourist spots are not the way to get a real flavor for any country.

I remember going to a grocery store in England years ago and really enjoying it, just looking at the products and seeing how it differed from the US. I also got that feeling in normal Russian grocery stores, and open air markets. So I understand his feeling.  

We had a bit of a disagreement this afternoon when he got back, about the kids' computer. It's got trojans and worms and can't really be fixed. My impulse is to ditch it and buy a new one. I want Pasha to help me with that. He wants to rebuild the old one. I don't think there's time for that before he leaves next week, and I really want his help, so I don't have to pay someone. keep in mind, in far eastern Russia, a DSL line is still a novelty.

I don't have photos of the day's adventures, but here are a couple of recent ones.

The kids at Fuddruckers the other night, with two other cuties that were adopted from Michael's orphanage, David and Kate -

 

This is my friend John and his son Reese, with Pasha and Michael on Friday night.

 

Saturday Slam

We had an unbelievably busy day yesterday, with me running like crazy.

I overslept, so that threw the whole day off whack. The kids and Pasha and I went to Waffle House for breakfast. It was great for Pasha to see an eclectic mix of folks - old young, black, white, hispanic, and everything else you can imagine. Pasha ate a waffle and half of Alesia's waffle - she had ordered two, plus sausage.

I then took the kids and Pasha to the mall to walk around - something the kids love and I hate. Alesia found some jeans. Pasha bought clothes, too.

I came home and started a big pot of borscht. I then picked up the kids and ran home, then took Michael to his tennis match.

 

We had a downpour of rain, then thankfully it cleared up. Michael and the other boys used these big squeegee things to dry the courts, then all the matches got played. Michael played very well but lost his match. I felt bad later because I had totally forgotten about lunch. My stomach didn't remind me. Coach said nice things about Mike's playing, which I reported to him.

In 2003 I went to Russia for the first time with a choir, formed from Baptist singers from all over the southeast. Three of those singers who are local, including my cousin Steve came to my house last night to eat some borscht and watch a DVD of the choir, which Pasha had brought. I met Pasha when the choir was in Khabarovsk, and Pasha had filmed us in rehearsal. We had a nice visit.

I told them my life was changed the most dramatically of anyone's by that choir trip, because it introduced me to my daughter. I will always be glad my cousin Steve talked me into going, the only Episcopalian in the bunch, and the only one who ended up adopting a child as a result.

Pasha and Michael and I then watched Hitch, and it was off to bed. I turned the clocks forward, horrified by the late hour. Here are me and the choir folks:

 

More Store Experiences

I tried to post last night but the computer was going wonky so I finally gave up and went to bed about midnight. It was another busy day for pasha.

I took Pasha to Sports Authority yesterday morning in the pouring rain, and he spent about two hours there. He bought 5 tee shirts. They didn't have any sneakers there in his size - 13. He's a big guy.

We went to lunch at our favorite mexican restaurant and Pasha was not pleased with his chicken burrito, unfortunately. The sauce had beef and tomato in it, neither of which he cares for. He did enjoy his taco. It was nice to be able to sit and just chat, however.

He spent some time also at Best Buy and got himself a new iPod Nano. Michael was very jealous.

What I am learning is that Pasha likes to do his own thing, at his own pace, so it's better if I leave him in stores so he can take his time. I like to go in, find what I want, and leave. Pasha is fascinated by the American variety of merchandise, and the fact the prices are so much more in Russia.

Some of my friends, John and his son Reese, and my friend Maria, came to dinner last night. We had a lovely evening. I made pasta with alfredo sauce and chicken, fresh asparagus, and garlic bread. Maria brought a brocooli salad that Mother loved. Pasha had never had asparagus before and said he liked it. I just throw a little butter and lemon juice on it, nothing elaborate.

Today is busy, with Michael having a tennis match this afternoon, and friends from my choir days coming for dinner. I pray it doesn't rain during the tennis matches, as I am in charge of the whole team. Yikes.